OLD Plenty of Fish "About You: Ask away."

[sillyanswer]

I concur I'm sick of seeing the same faces of women on POF within MINUTES from where I live only to have been ignored.

 

I would sometimes follow up with the same women only because I've exhausted my options.

 

These women are in such a small populace they should realize this and give us a quick meet.

 

It's not much to ask.

 

I mean they really cannot afford to be picky in such a small community. Otherwise they need to relocate.

 

It sounds like you're saying these women should date people they don't find attractive as if that's somehow better than them remaining single.

 

I'm guessing they take the opposite view, that they'd rather only date people who they find attractive or otherwise remain single.

[sillyanswer]

The problem with the girls looking for serious relationships in OLD is that the guys who actually want something too are 90 percent of the time ruled out for completely stupid reasons, whether its the picture wasn't attractive enough, he isn't good at starting a conversation right off the bat, he's shy, any number of reasons.

 

 

The guys that actually want relationships and connections DO message these girls, but they either get ignored or even worse, a really terrible one word reply conversation begins.

 

or... and I know this will be hard for some readers to believe... the woman writes back and a relationship happens. No, really. I'm sorry if this isn't happening for you.

[irc333]

It sounds like you're saying these women should date people they don't find attractive as if that's somehow better than them remaining single.

 

I'm guessing they take the opposite view, that they'd rather only date people who they find attractive or otherwise remain single.

 

I'm not saying they should date those who they aren't attracted to, in fact, they are probably attracted to some people, but think they could do better and not necessarily realistic when it comes to their own standards.

Edited September 23, 2014 by irc333

[spiderowl]

I've noticed that quite often happens if a guy is good looking. It's as if he posts pictures and thinks that says it all. He's used to being chased and the about me bit is a good indicator that he expects you to do all the work.

 

I don't bother with minimal profiles, suggests a really boring or self-obsessed person.

[Tayken]

Whatever excuse they give for it, it always comes down to sheer laziness.

 

 

You've hit the nail right on the head! I usually equate that attitude to someone that can't be bothered, and imagine what life will be like with them on a daily basis.

 

I mean it's a dating site for crying out loud, not an impromptu debate, which means you let people know what you are all about, and what it is you are looking for.

 

I usually just move on when I see these kind of profiles. You will have to pull teeth with them.

 

At the end of the day, communication is key and if you can't do that, your relationships are doomed from the start.

[Keenly]

or... and I know this will be hard for some readers to believe... the woman writes back and a relationship happens. No, really. I'm sorry if this isn't happening for you.

 

 

 

Like I've said before, to the exact same point. Minute percentages are absolutely meaningless.

 

If this occurs 15% of the time, that's an 85% failure rate of OLD.

 

How anyone could argue the success of online dating as a whole is beyond me.

[Tayken]

Like I've said before, to the exact same point. Minute percentages are absolutely meaningless.

 

If this occurs 15% of the time, that's an 85% failure rate of OLD.

 

How anyone could argue the success of online dating as a whole is beyond me.

 

All people see on Facebook is the BS stories, nobody goes on there and post the aftermath when things go awry.

 

The commercials for certain dating sites, will make you believe that it's as successful as releasing a new Iphone

[xxoo]

These women are contacting the men they are interested in. No question about it. They don't fill out the info because they want to do the choosing.

[Tayken]

These women are contacting the men they are interested in. No question about it. They don't fill out the info because they want to do the choosing.

 

 

Are you speaking from experience????

[xxoo]

Are you speaking from experience????

 

I know a guy who would get messages from that type of profile, and go on dates. There are definitely women (go-getter professionals) who have scant profiles because they are there to do the choosing.

[Tayken]

^ Ah, the old I know somebody that knows somebody. Got it

[xxoo]

^ Ah, the old I know somebody that knows somebody. Got it

 

I actually saw some of the profiles and the messages, if that's a comfort

[Tayken]

I actually saw some of the profiles and the messages, if that's a comfort

 

You know what they say about what you read online...right?

[sillyanswer]

Like I've said before, to the exact same point. Minute percentages are absolutely meaningless.

 

If this occurs 15% of the time, that's an 85% failure rate of OLD.

 

How anyone could argue the success of online dating as a whole is beyond me.

 

When you mine for gold, even in a gold-rich area, something like 99% of everything you dig up isn't gold. That's a 99% failure rate, yet there are successful gold mines.

 

I think you have the wrong measurement for what makes OLD successful. It works for me.

[sillyanswer]

I'm not saying they should date those who they aren't attracted to, in fact, they are probably attracted to some people, but think they could do better and not necessarily realistic when it comes to their own standards.

 

But... you are. You're saying they should give you a quick meet. These being the same women you've seen before and have contacted before and you're following up with them because you've exhausted your options. These are women who didn't want to date you first time around, for whatever reason. It turns out that they don't appear to want to date you second time either but you're saying that they should.

 

Why should they give you this quick meet?

[irc333]

But... you are. You're saying they should give you a quick meet. These being the same women you've seen before and have contacted before and you're following up with them because you've exhausted your options. These are women who didn't want to date you first time around, for whatever reason. It turns out that they don't appear to want to date you second time either but you're saying that they should.

 

Why should they give you this quick meet?

 

Why not? Why shouldn't they give a quick meet? You really can't tell what someone's like until you've met them in person anyhow.

[PegNosePete]

Okay ignore every shred of evidence and keep blaming it on the profile and the messages and keep spewing that 17% of marriage statistic.

I never mentioned it. But this thread is about the about me section, does writing "just ask" make you get passed over. Changing the photos to a male model and asking for sex in the original message has absolutely nothing to do with testing that hypothesis.

 

If you want to test that theory then you should get some good quality pics of a normal guy, and create two profiles, one with a proper, well written, interesting and exciting profile; the other with the same photos and "just ask". Send identical messages, and see which gets most responses.

[PegNosePete]

If this occurs 15% of the time, that's an 85% failure rate of OLD.

Right, you could say the same about anything.

15% of people meet their partner on OLD

15% of people meet their partner in a supermarket

20% of people meet their partner in a meetup group

8% of people meet their partner int he street

12% of people meet their partner as a friend of a friend

25% meet in a bar

etc.

 

This means dating a friend of a friend has an 88% failure rate, why would you bother...?

 

Point is, it all adds up to 100%. Everyone who is in a couple met their partner somewhere. If you're pursuing one avenue only to the exclusion of all others then you're shooting yourself in the foot. OLD is one avenue. Using it exclusively would be foolish, but why exclude it?

[sillyanswer]

Why not? Why shouldn't they give a quick meet?

 

Because they don't want to.

 

You really can't tell what someone's like until you've met them in person anyhow.

 

I agree, but you can definitely form a conclusion that you don't like someone or that you're not attracted to them or that there's a dealbreaker in what they say about themselves.

 

 

It really seems that you're saying the women you see on dating sites who have been on there for a long time should date you for the reason that they've been on the dating site a long time which you seem to be interpreting as meaning they are having no success with online dating which means they need to lower their standards which you conclude are too high (or relocate - you did give them that option). I'll agree with the point that people (men and women) should have realistic standards and expectations when it comes to dating, but I don't follow the rest of your logic. Additionally, you can't tell that these women are having no success simply because you're seeing still seeing them (or seeing them again - I'm unclear which you mean) on a dating site... perhaps they've been enjoying lots of lovely dates and short/medium term relationships and are now looking for the next one.

 

If these are women with the blank 'ask me anything' profiles, you really can't tell much about them other than that they aren't writing back to you; there's no "should" about who they should meet. It's really up to them.

[PegNosePete]

Additionally, you can't tell that these women are having no success simply because you're seeing still seeing them (or seeing them again - I'm unclear which you mean) on a dating site... perhaps they've been enjoying lots of lovely dates and short/medium term relationships and are now looking for the next one.

Right, I was on POF for about 10 months and I'm sure I was one of the regular faces all that time. But did I have lack of success? Hell no. I had many, many dates and a few relationships before meeting someone long term. So the fact that you see the same people, tells you absolutely nothing about how successful they are.

[irc333]

Well, believe you me, I've seen my share of their profiles saying, "Here I am...trying this again" or "Third time's a charm". They go on to mention the lack of success they've been having...so to clarify, there are some that make it obvious the lack of their success and "Back again."

 

Oh, funny, one even said, "Here I am again...I guess I'm a glutton for punishment." as she nervously places a "LOL" emoticon.

 

With statements like these they are already dismayed about their lack of success of guys wanting to get in their pants, drug users, pot heads, etc. That's all they seem to run into and state it clearly in their profiles.

 

 

Some even have headliners saying, "I'm not impressed" or other feedback of sorts that suggest they grow weary of the men they've been meeting already.

 

It's a true statement, because I know some women personally that are currently dating men in jail or having served time for some kind of bar room ball or in possession of drugs.

 

Because they don't want to.

 

 

 

I agree, but you can definitely form a conclusion that you don't like someone or that you're not attracted to them or that there's a dealbreaker in what they say about themselves.

 

 

It really seems that you're saying the women you see on dating sites who have been on there for a long time should date you for the reason that they've been on the dating site a long time which you seem to be interpreting as meaning they are having no success with online dating which means they need to lower their standards which you conclude are too high (or relocate - you did give them that option). I'll agree with the point that people (men and women) should have realistic standards and expectations when it comes to dating, but I don't follow the rest of your logic. Additionally, you can't tell that these women are having no success simply because you're seeing still seeing them (or seeing them again - I'm unclear which you mean) on a dating site... perhaps they've been enjoying lots of lovely dates and short/medium term relationships and are now looking for the next one.

 

If these are women with the blank 'ask me anything' profiles, you really can't tell much about them other than that they aren't writing back to you; there's no "should" about who they should meet. It's really up to them.

[irc333]

Right, I was on POF for about 10 months and I'm sure I was one of the regular faces all that time. But did I have lack of success? Hell no. I had many, many dates and a few relationships before meeting someone long term. So the fact that you see the same people, tells you absolutely nothing about how successful they are.

 

10 months? You're a light weight. These women have been on POF (and other sites) for years and active.

[sillyanswer]

Well, believe you me, I've seen my share of their profiles saying, "Here I am...trying this again" or "Third time's a charm". They go on to mention the lack of success they've been having...so to clarify, there are some that make it obvious the lack of their success and "Back again."

 

Oh, funny, one even said, "Here I am again...I guess I'm a glutton for punishment." as she nervously places a "LOL" emoticon.

 

My previous comments stand, but maybe we should continue in another thread - these clearly aren't the "Ask away" women with blank profiles that the thread is about.

[xxoo]

Why not? Why shouldn't they give a quick meet? You really can't tell what someone's like until you've met them in person anyhow.

 

Meet everyone?

 

Ain't nobody got time for that

 

In addition to time consuming and inefficient, it could possibly be dangerous for women to meet men in person so indiscriminately.

[WesternWizard]

All of these "yes it works, no it doesn't" posts don't paint a very positive picture of OLD... that's why I give it only 5 more years at most.

 

If I was a little green man who landed on Earth in my flying saucer, I'd very quickly learn that earthlings are about as screwed-up as it gets when it comes to mate selection.