SummerDreams Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 so I think it would be fine if more and more men stopped asking out women. They'll ask you out if they REALLY want to. So it's perfect. How does a man know if he REALLY wants to date a woman or not? Only based on looks or should they become friends first to check her personality? In the first case, only based on looks, I think it's shallow for a man to ask me out cause he just likes how I look and he doesn't care about my personality. In the second case, if a man becomes friends with a woman, it's really rare that the woman will start seeing him romantically after some time of friendship, so this case is lost as well. So what I want to know is, how do you know that you will really like a woman before you ask her out and talk to her on the date? By the way your point of view is idealistic. It's like saying "I wish everyone would tell the truth, so we wouldn't worry whether someone is lying to us". Correct in theory, but impossible in execution.
BlueIris Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 (edited) How does a man know if he REALLY wants to date a woman or not? Only based on looks or should they become friends first to check her personality? In the first case, only based on looks, I think it's shallow for a man to ask me out cause he just likes how I look and he doesn't care about my personality. In the second case, if a man becomes friends with a woman, it's really rare that the woman will start seeing him romantically after some time of friendship, so this case is lost as well. So what I want to know is, how do you know that you will really like a woman before you ask her out and talk to her on the date? By the way your point of view is idealistic. It's like saying "I wish everyone would tell the truth, so we wouldn't worry whether someone is lying to us". Correct in theory, but impossible in execution. You don’t know and can’t know. Don’t expect to even be able to know until you’ve spent time with each other, whether you’re a man or a woman. No expectations or decisions should be made by either side until you’ve had a few dates. (Actually, I think it’s kind of crazy, though sometimes folks are very lucky, to really like someone A LOT before you get to know him or her.) There only part that's impossible is to have guarantees or to know if you like someone a lot before you get to know each other. Go into dating without expectations and just be your best version of your authentic self, with brain on. I get the feeling that lots of people are drawing conclusions too quickly or have high hopes when they shouldn’t, picking out china or picturing forever love waaay too soon. Also, just because a man thinks you’re pretty or cute doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about your personality. He might ask you out to find out about your personality. But I think he should talk to you for a while before asking you out on a more formal date, and you can tell him that you don’t know him enough yet and would like to talk for a while. Maybe meet for coffee or lunch, or talk on the phone. If he doesn’t want to do that, frankly, I’d just say no because I agree with you and I don’t want to date anyone who doesn’t care about my personality either. Edited September 26, 2014 by BlueIris
Tayken Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 Again...it's simple, go Dutch on first date. However, I have been on first dates when the female flat out won't let me pay. My payback, I went behind their back and got a gift for them. How did I do this? I always have a generic gift in my car...call it experience and intuition, or just plain calculating. I am a hopeless romantic :-) 1
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