Cloudcuckoo Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 LS friends, It's been 6 months since I've been here. I sincerely apologize. As many here probably make the mistake in doing, I had my human moment. I felt like I could do it on my own but i couldn't. I need to stay connected here to have LS's users help with navigating through the A world and I clearly fell free to the facade and lies that an A does so well. I came back because I know I have to either end my A or learn how to change from assuming its going to be a relationship with long term hope to seeing it as a A and accepting the rules of engagement of an A. Both mow and I are 3 years into this next month. I never thought it would go on this long but we both feel like we want to be with each other long term. Through the A, I have learned about mow and I assume its the same with others, that mow or ow may have be in emotional bondage to their spouses and can never break free no matter how much they want to. I have been in enough non A relationships to see that any woman who cannot break free from their spouse and feel emotionally obligated to them in such a way they take on the maternal, excuse making role to justify how bad they are bullied emotionally by their h's. I actually think it's ok when you don't have an expectation of an A being anything more than that. it's when the A starts to produce an emotional fog that makes AP's start to believe it has the potential to be more than that. That's when people put their guards down and become invested and eventually emotionally devastated when they eventually see the truth. I don't think anyone can help an AP through their emotional bondage to their spouses and its probably not right for the other AP to expect more. I am in that same boat and although I'm a mow, AP and I often talk about committing to a LTR. That's all talk no matter what people say until the moment comes and its too hard for one or both AP's to break free. My question is, how does one start to pull away from what i've fallen prey to as a possible LTR and come back to the A place and making it casual? My mow is deeply emotionally invested as well but she's so fragile she can't back down to her H for virtually anything so it makes her LTR discussion just a fog of lies. I have seen and dated people like this before and I have been unsuccessful at helping them no matter what I do. KISA doesn't work. So i want to do something differently and start to back off emotionally. I do have a much younger single F who has pretty much invited me to have sx with her after work. I fear she may get attached and that's why i have not moved on it yet. At the same time, I wonder if having an A with her would help to dilute my emotional investment with MOW and thus, start the beginning of the slow expiration. I can't just cut it off, it hurts to much. I would rather try to slowly pull away emotionally. Thank you oh my goodness.........utterly and completely gob smacked is all I can muster..... Link to post Share on other sites
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