Author idkwsstf Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share Posted August 20, 2014 Well, I'm not getting anywhere here, goodbye everyone, thank you for your time Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I am a BS. I have personally been through hell and back in several relationships with cheating women. I would be the first to admit that I am bias'd. When I first read your thread I felt anger and hostility. As time has gone one on statement you have said really resonates with me. You stated you felt you probably should have opened up a thread in the OW section. I disagree. I think it took alot of courage to come here and open yourself to this type of a group. It really says alot that you have stuck it out so far to continue to try to better yourself. In the end that is what it really is all about. Its not just about your partner and your kids its about you. Making yourself better so you don't repeat the same mistakes. If you do go I wish you and your family the very best. I know it will be hard but if you are really in for the long haul in fixing your marriage it will be worth it. There is couples out there that has survived. Its really rare and I think the battle you have ahead of you will be really difficult for both of you but it sounds like you do want to change things. Clay Link to post Share on other sites
James-London Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 What we have here is a situation in which the OP was just nuts about her OM. She didn't leave her H because a) she has a loving family, and b) the OM would not leave his own W/family for her. He proved this at D-day, but I suspect OP knew this all along. I don't criticise OP for this - you can't help who you love. Its not really her fault. However, she is in denial about this. Maybe she does love her H too, but she has failed to distinguish between the way in which she loves these 2 men. With her H, he sounds like a great provider and nice guy, but she is just not psychologically, sexually or romantically turned on by him in the same way as the OM. Either that, or she is really not fulfilled in the life she has chosen for herself as a mother and homemaker. Was it selfish and cruel? Obviously it was. But this lady was simply following her heart. I think she should get real about that, rather than just shrugging her shoulders and drawing a blank about why all this happened. She came on here by showing contrition in order to gain support. But she does not even yet have an understanding of why this happened, and what she really wanted from each man. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 The truth hurts, she feels betrayed by her O/M who is a serial cheater and she risked her marriage for, she thought she meant more to him than the other women before her. Most serial cheating men never leave their wives because the cost of divorce is too great. She got used for 5 and a half years and now she may end up with nothing. How do you start a new relationship with a new man if her husband divorces her, how does she explain cheating on her husband for 5 1/2 years to someone new? I would have a hard time being with someone with that kind of history but that is just me. If you can cheat on your spouse for that long you should be able to take some shots from strangers who are asking you questions that your husband and others will ask. I guess I will never get to talk to her about her wedding rings, that will come up soon. Hope it all works out for you, I really mean that, good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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