veggirl Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 I think it's fine what you did. I think complaining to the office staff would be silly when you can say something yourself. The office staff isn't a bunch of babysitters, they shouldn't have to say something to the kid or mom anymore than you should have to, really. kids aren't some precious little things that are gonna break if a stranger tells them "chill out". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 It's everybody's business when parents haven't trained their children and allow them to act like public spaces are romper room at the day-care or disrupt others. One tv show host addressed this issue and her solution was pretty good. Instead of taking them on, you tell the person next to you in a voice just loud enough to overhear something like, "That's such a beautiful girl. Such a shame her mother hasn't trained her to behave." I do think negligent parents deserve feedback, but none of them like it, rest assured. They are failing their children when they don't try to stop them from misbehaving or try to train them to be nice and polite in public. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 I'm guessing you must be a "time out" parent of the modern age who's kids are just perfect right? Why are you making this personal? You asked people if they agreed or disagreed with what you did and I'm not sure why you're being so argumentative with the people who disagreed. Did you just post this thread to argue with people? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
both sides Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 ...This kid almost tripped on my feet and nearly spilled my drink all over me. I had to stop and say something after this stuff was carrying on for about 15 - 20 minutes. The impression I got was that everyone else in the waiting room was scared to speak up which is totally wrong IMO. My father always said "there is a time, a place and a space for everything." A waiting room is not a playground for kids to fool around and potentially injure others in the process. While admitting that we all were not there to see and hear this scene, I still approve of your intervention. This is a public place and safety of users of this public place was endangered. If case of an adult person doing a similar thing, I bet people would have been less scared to speak. Children are precious and unique and beloved, but some parents consider them toys or just misinterpret some modern approaches they stumbled upon in the Internet. Link to post Share on other sites
Tbisb74 Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 Children are always children, but a lot of parents - are not parents. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 interesting article providing a viewpoint no seen yet in this thread, What You Don't Know About That Wild, Unruly Child | Kristen Mae 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyLeigh1967 Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 interesting article providing a viewpoint no seen yet in this thread, What You Don't Know About That Wild, Unruly Child*|*Kristen Mae I have one child with Autism and one with Aspergers. I never ever just let my kids get away with acting like uncivilized apes. Even kids with mental and behavioral disorders should not get away with murder. As the parent, you do your best to teach them and apologize when things happen. I would have said something to the mother. Nicely. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 This kid almost tripped on my feet and nearly spilled my drink all over me. At that point, it became your business. And I'll share with you what I say when parents scold me for scolding their children: "Oh forgive me. But by the way they were acting, I naturally assumed that they don't have any parents." That usually leaves 'em speechless. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
It'sallnewtome Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 I am in 2 minds about this one. As a mum of 3 kids and no family I do find I am sometimes lax in my discipline and it shows. We all lament about the loss of "the village" yet if anyone dares to try and help , they are shot down. Kids need discipline and lax parent is going to lead to a generation of spoilt kids So I kind of applaude you. But on the other hand some days it is just so hard to be the perfect parent and everyone has advice and judgement. You didn't attack her, you asked the child to behave so in this instance I see your point. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Since they were older "kids" - if you're meaning about age 14-15, I hardly even consider them "kids," rather "young adults" - then I think it's o.k. to address them directly. I would hope that the OP had misused the term 'adolescent' and there weren't REALLY 15 yo kids jumping up on chairs, touching everything, and tripping over the OP's feet... Anyway, I'm of two minds on this. I clicked on the thread with a bad impression initially, because I thought you'd really 'disciplined' the child, OP, which is obviously none of your business. But if all you'd really done was say something nicely to them - I think it's rather over-the-top for the lady to go off at you for that. If you'd actually scolded them or worse, then she might have a point. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I think you did the right thing. If they act this way in public, they will encounter disapproval. If their parents haven’t taught them that, the world will have to- and it will. Their excuse-making defensive mom is teaching them only to be defensive excuse-makers. Link to post Share on other sites
SJS Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I see nothing wrong with what you did. I would've spoken directly to the kid as well, but probably more in a "hey, slow down there buddy, before you hurt yourself" way, while staring at mom. I sat (not literally) on my daughter in public places, and she had rules. She's old enough now that when she sees kids running around, she'll say something to me. Funny though, most parents contribute her good public behavior as part of being an only child... Link to post Share on other sites
Blade96 Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 I hate the "it takes a village to raise a kid" talk because then things happen like Trane's situation, but The Village isn't allowed to say a word. Parents like that want to have cake and eat it to. Help raise them but you can't say a word about bad behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 I wouldn't call what you did "disciplining" the children. You spoke up in defense because you were rightly annoyed. You performed a civic duty. The mom got angry at you because deep down she knows she isn't doing her job properly. Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 So I'm sitting in the waiting room for an appointment, mom comes in with her adolescent kids who obviously had a boatload of sugar at breakfast. Kids were running around, touching everything, jumping on chairs, and just making undue noise. One kid comes close to tripping on his feet, almost fell over and hit another lady with a stroller. So I tell the kid to behave himself and slow down. Next thing mom tells me her kids are none of my business and I'm not the parent so don't interfere. So I politely told mom that this is not a playground and she should be more responsible. I guess these days you can't discipline another persons kid without getting grief from the parent. This does not stop me from doing what I think is right. Agree or disagree? i work with kids and learned this lesson a few times early on. NEVER discipline another person's kid, no matter how awful they are. go get the parent and let them do it or not. fastest way to anger a mom is to tell her kid something outside of her presence or without her permission. tell the people in the office, or wherever you are but never do it yourself. parents can get angry, violent, etc and it's not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trane Posted August 26, 2014 Author Share Posted August 26, 2014 i work with kids and learned this lesson a few times early on. NEVER discipline another person's kid, no matter how awful they are. go get the parent and let them do it or not. fastest way to anger a mom is to tell her kid something outside of her presence or without her permission. tell the people in the office, or wherever you are but never do it yourself. parents can get angry, violent, etc and it's not worth it. Sometimes you're faced with no authority figures,supervising personnel or whoever is in charge of the specific area. I waited several minutes and gathered my thoughts about all the events before speaking my mind. I was raised by parents who respected other parents children, and without hesitation would speak up against any reckless, dangerous, or obstreperous behaviour in a professional environment. If nobody politely speaks up, the kid will never learn until he or she really hurts themselves. That's when we have an emergency visit that could have easily been avoided if the parents were proactive in the discipline of their children. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 When I was a teenager, if I ran around and made noise in a waiting room my parents would have been deeply embarrassed and told me off big time. Honestly some parents are so incompetent. Who just lets their kids run around and scream and yell? I understand if they are toddlers, they are naughty irrespective of how good the parent is. Teenagers should know better. In Asia, I noticed that the teens were so respectful and polite. It was unheard of for the Asian teens to run a muck in public, their parents would have been ashamed. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Well no, of course you can't. It's not even a 'these days' thing, it's just the way it is. If they were bothering you, you should have moved away. End of story. Or, I dunno, lighten up a little? You were a kid once too remember... Wtf. When I was a child, my parents didn't let me run around and squawk like a maniac in waiting rooms. He had every right to ask the child to please keep it down. It is a public area, kids need to learn to not scream and shout when in the presence of others. Being a kid doesn't give them free reigns to make their surrounding environments noisy and unpleasant for many others around them! Link to post Share on other sites
littleplanet Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Wtf. When I was a child, my parents didn't let me run around and squawk like a maniac in waiting rooms. He had every right to ask the child to please keep it down. It is a public area, kids need to learn to not scream and shout when in the presence of others. Being a kid doesn't give them free reigns to make their surrounding environments noisy and unpleasant for many others around them! Absolutely. And this is why as a kid - with no parents in sight, I was compelled to behave around adults I didn't know. Even the most bada$$ kids knew this. There was just a sense of public decorum.....and it was inexorable. But the guiding light really came from something we all understood. We had loads of freedom as kids back then. But it was implicit - that this freedom had to be earned. Or it could be taken away. Our freedoms were treasured, never taken for granted. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trane Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 Well no, of course you can't. It's not even a 'these days' thing, it's just the way it is. If they were bothering you, you should have moved away. End of story. Or, I dunno, lighten up a little? You were a kid once too remember... So by your logic and reasoning, I should let the oppressors compromise my time and my schedule because their parents have no control over them? What if the situation requires me to stay in the environment because of an appointment? I'm supposed to just leave and miss my turn on the account of disruptive kids invading my personal space? Lighten up a little until someone gets hurt with the off chance that the parent blames me or someone else for he accident? NO THANK YOU! To sit back and do nothing means your letting the oppressors do as they please. I was once a kid that would get a serious buttwhipping from my parents if I behaved the way these kids did. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be allowed to cause such disturbances to others because my parents would make sure I was on my best behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trane Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 So by your logic and reasoning, I should let the oppressors compromise my time and my schedule because their parents have no control over them? What if the situation requires me to stay in the environment because of an appointment? I'm supposed to just leave and miss my turn on the account of disruptive kids invading my personal space? Lighten up a little until someone gets hurt with the off chance that the parent blames me or someone else for he accident? NO THANK YOU! To sit back and do nothing means your letting the oppressors do as they please. I was once a kid that would get a serious buttwhipping from my parents if I behaved the way these kids did. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be allowed to cause such disturbances to others because my parents would make sure I was on my best behaviour. Correction. To sit back and do nothing means you're letting the oppressors do as they please. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 So by your logic and reasoning, I should let the oppressors compromise my time and my schedule because their parents have no control over them? What if the situation requires me to stay in the environment because of an appointment? I'm supposed to just leave and miss my turn on the account of disruptive kids invading my personal space? Lighten up a little until someone gets hurt with the off chance that the parent blames me or someone else for he accident? NO THANK YOU! To sit back and do nothing means your letting the oppressors do as they please. I was once a kid that would get a serious buttwhipping from my parents if I behaved the way these kids did. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be allowed to cause such disturbances to others because my parents would make sure I was on my best behaviour. You are responding to someone who posted their reply over two weeks ago. What are you doing? And you're still only arguing against people who disagree with you, when in your OP, you clearly asked if people agreed or disagreed with you. Why? Again, I ask you, did you just post this thread to argue with people? Did you post it so that you could get a pat on the back? Is that why you're getting combative with people who don't like what you did? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trane Posted September 2, 2014 Author Share Posted September 2, 2014 You are responding to someone who posted their reply over two weeks ago. What are you doing? And you're still only arguing against people who disagree with you, when in your OP, you clearly asked if people agreed or disagreed with you. Why? Again, I ask you, did you just post this thread to argue with people? Did you post it so that you could get a pat on the back? Is that why you're getting combative with people who don't like what you did? Just making a point from the responses. Combative, not at all. I didn't think posters needed to defend others here with the diligence I'm seing here. BTW I get my pay on the back from GOD. Thanks for responding. Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 (edited) Some parents are total morons sorry to say that but im sick of being out and trying to shop or do something in public and having some slack ass parent out with their little bundles of joy screeching on top of their lungs! While they continue shopping like they cant hear a thing..ive even seen a mom and grand mom ignore screaming kids..what ever happened to not taking unruly kids out in public? Ive actually confronted the parents and half the time they just look stunned I don't think what you did was bad. And if my kid was acting up I would expect the same hell ide even thank you if you caut something I didn't. Then again I wouldn't take them out if it was a bad day for them to that point..I would be embarrassed to all hell if my kid was acting like a rabid baboon in public tho its not that hard to teach manners..Sorry for the rant but this is my all time biggest pet peeve! Edited September 2, 2014 by TigerLilly78 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Thruster Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 Trane: If mine are close and acting up -- you can put them along side of yours and correct them all Link to post Share on other sites
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