Ugh, She Contacted Me During No Contact. What does she mean when she says this?

[me85]

No, you shouldn't inform her of anything or interfere with her new RS.

 

She'll find out all those things on her own. If she doesn't know already.

[RemainUnchanged]

I wouldnt say naive, but she always gets burned by being too trusting.Most definitely vulnerable. Shes basically all alone down there, far from home, and just dumped me just over three months ago. We were together 5 years.

 

Yes, honestly part of me does believe this will help me get her back. Another part of me, an equal portion, just doesnt want to see her used.

 

Simon Phoenix, I do appreciate you playing devil's advocate, and believe me a dialogue almost identical to the one we are having has been playing out in my head. I want to challenge your ideas and i want you to challenge mine, so that hopefully in the process ill be able to work out the best course of action.

 

She has already accused me of over stepping my boundaries and intruding into her life, s this is shaky ground.

 

Wouldnt the truely selfless, loving thing to do be sacrificing my reputation in here eyes in order to potentially help her ?

 

 

bro trust me, im sure she already knows that he's a scumbag.

 

my former best friend is knowingly dating and sleeping with a guy who has genital herpes (and god knows what else). He has openly cheated on her as well, and she is still with him. (and no, he's not good-looking, or rich. He only has a high school diploma to his name)

 

I say "former" best friend, because she stopped speaking to me immediately after I informed her of his..."inadequacies" if you will..

 

it was almost as if she was blaming me for his herpes and his cheating. I poked holes in her false interpretation of reality by revealing the truth about him.

 

im sure this is the case with your ex. she knows the truth, and she would strongly resent you for unraveling the romance novel she has woven.

[Art_Critic]

As if she hasn't already googled him, dude let her go....

You will look really really bad if you send her a link...

[broken2828]

If she's told you to back off, then you'd best do that.

 

Do you still talk?

 

Yes, we do.

 

Right after the breakup she called and we were both bawling and sharing our most intimate feelings. Then, when I called, she asked not to talk about the breakup, but I was SO SCARED of losing her I couldnt help but beg and pleade. She got very angry that i was begging for a reason. My mind was racing through my memories at a frantic, stomach churning pace and I craved answers. She wrote me an email, a scathing indictment of my very charcter. While exaggerated, it was mostly true. I have a bad temper that i could not control, but she incorrectly interpreted my anger as some kind of deliberate attempt to manipulate and bully her.

 

Her email crushed me. I believed every word, true and untrue alike. She told me in that email i would hurt my kids as id hurt her, and would make them hate the world as I did. That hurt most. Ive always wanted to be a father more than anything. I felt like such a fundamentallly terrible person that I seriously wanted to end my life. I wrote her back a heartfelt apology, with absolutely no begging or excuses. I took a good hard look at things that had gone wrong and even included things she hadnt mentioned. I also told her id give her the space that shed beeen wanting without heariing from me, and told her i would not contact her, bit that she could call anytime she wanted to talk. She thanked me for finally showing her respect, and said shed call me in a few days. She callled the very next day. She seemed close to giving me a second chance, but i desperately begged again and pushed her away. She said we couldnt be together "right now" and that shed been hurt to deeply and needed to see the changes in me beade and set in stone before she could take me back. She asked for space and i gave it to her. She contacted me and we talked as friends and perhaps even lovers.

 

She was obviously heartbroken even though shed done the dumping, and her mother came down to console her. She asked that i not contact her during this visit and i respected that. After her mother's visit, she contacted me and was just very angry. She hated me and accused me cc of manipulating her woth my apologies and the reespect for her space. I could hear her mother's words coming out of her mouth. We then warmed again and taljed as good friends. Then, she told me she was going to start dating. I paniced again and begged again, pushing her away. She found out the guy she was dating had a gf and dumped him after one or two dates. Then, she jumped into things with this dude after only a day or two of finding out the last guy was two timing her. When she met up with me to exchange belongings she cried both times, even during the meeting where she had been dating perv boyfor a few weeks. On her pinterest she posted how crazy she was about him over and over.I called and she would act annoyed or indifferent. She was desperately lonel and always on facebook before this, and i could tell from her not being online for 12 full hours that perv boy spent the night.I called the next morning and she was beaming. It hurt so bad. From then onshe sounded annoyed and irritated when i would call, said she only wanted to hear from me every couple of weeks, so i waited two wrks and called her this last time. Shes absolutely smitten with this jerk and sounds sooooo happy. Their first date was 7 weeks ago, and a week or so ago she posted that hes everything shes ever wanted. After 7 weeks she could say that? She still posts things about me, too. Comparing us or suggesting how bad i was. Now she tells me its too hard to talk as friends, that its weird and she has to avoid talkingab out him, which he is the center of her universe now, i can tell. She says she never thought it would be tgis way. I agree.

[Simon Phoenix]

Yeah, you need to go No Contact desperately.

[Mary Oak]

Dude, you are going to do what you want. And it sounds like you are going to use this as an excuse to contact her. I hope it goes the way you want. What is your ideal outcome anyway?

 

Let us know how she handles it.

[Chi townD]

Here's the deal, dude. And I'm being honest.

 

 

We can't help you. period. Not at all.

 

 

We can't help you until you're ready to try some of the things we suggest. To be open about healing and self improving and the desire to reclaim your life and move on to something better for yourself.

 

 

Until you're ready to do that, then all we get to see is ways you invent to hurt yourself even further.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Do you read the advice we give? I'm asking for a friend.

[martaldn]

sorry people but few weeks back there was a thread about a guy who had a ONS with a girl who then discovered was engaged and everybody and when i said everybody I mean every single people who posted there was encouraging this guy to let her fiance to know about the cheating.! because the dude had to know who was going to married and bla bla bla. i was against because they were 2 stranger but fair enough. the guy went ahead and told the other guy.

 

now we have a guy that really cared/still care for a ex GF who is now in a relationship with a scumbag and NO one is encouraging him to tell the girl and try to avoid her a bad experience/heartache?

why?

if i knew my ex was going out with a bitch i would tell him. with the risk he wouldnt belive me ( ok it can happen ) but at least i would warn him. if he cares as friend why everybody is advising to do otherwise?

 

he knows he can lose her and he can jeopardise the friendship but at least he would be sure to have done everything to spare her some pain.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

sorry people but few weeks back there was a thread about a guy who had a ONS with a girl who then discovered was engaged and everybody and when i said everybody I mean every single people who posted there was encouraging this guy to let her fiance to know about the cheating.! because the dude had to know who was going to married and bla bla bla. i was against because they were 2 stranger but fair enough. the guy went ahead and told the other guy.

 

now we have a guy that really cared/still care for a ex GF who is now in a relationship with a scumbag and NO one is encouraging him to tell the girl and try to avoid her a bad experience/heartache?

why?

if i knew my ex was going out with a bitch i would tell him. with the risk he wouldnt belive me ( ok it can happen ) but at least i would warn him. if he cares as friend why everybody is advising to do otherwise?

 

he knows he can lose her and he can jeopardise the friendship but at least he would be sure to have done everything to spare her some pain.

 

You have a link to this?

[Chi townD]

sorry people but few weeks back there was a thread about a guy who had a ONS with a girl who then discovered was engaged and everybody and when i said everybody I mean every single people who posted there was encouraging this guy to let her fiance to know about the cheating.! because the dude had to know who was going to married and bla bla bla. i was against because they were 2 stranger but fair enough. the guy went ahead and told the other guy.

 

now we have a guy that really cared/still care for a ex GF who is now in a relationship with a scumbag and NO one is encouraging him to tell the girl and try to avoid her a bad experience/heartache?

why?

if i knew my ex was going out with a bitch i would tell him. with the risk he wouldnt belive me ( ok it can happen ) but at least i would warn him. if he cares as friend why everybody is advising to do otherwise?

 

he knows he can lose her and he can jeopardise the friendship but at least he would be sure to have done everything to spare her some pain.

 

 

 

Giving yourself complete to another person you didn't promise yourself to is one thing. Talking locker room smack on a social media network for anyone to see is another.

 

 

Kinda apples and oranges if you ask me, But yeah. I'd like to see that link too.

[broken2828]

Yeah, I do read the advice.

 

She has an uncle who always wears shirts with really dirty jokes on them, and hes still a good person. Its not my place to protect her anymore. Its not my place to interfere and meddle. Shes a big girl, shes free. Free to make her own mistakes and free to make her own decisions. I just hoep she doesnt marry this dirtbag. Shes desperate for marriage and babies.