I told MM how I felt

[LovelySweet]

Alone is good. Alone is okay.

[2sunny]

You told him how you felt but he doesn't seem to care. He's still not making effort to change things.

 

Is that good enough for you?

[sunburned]

I am with the others. Please get the last laugh while u still can. Scrape your dignity off the floor and leave without a word. He is seeing how little he can give and still keep u around. You make one more outrageous demand ( lunch with me instead of defrosting the fridge) and he will walk. Don't give him the satisfaction. I'm embarrassed for you, girl. Radio silence.

[Scarlet2]

Technically he IS making an effort now though. It's very miniscule but he is replying if I text, whereas before he wouldn't. He hasn't texted me first though, so does that wash it out?

 

I haven't sent anything to him in several days though and from his point of view, based on what he said to me last, everything was fine and we were starting over but something weird is going on again though because he's started posting bible scriptures on his facebook again. This time referencing being half Christian, and the one about plucking your eye out for looking at another woman, and one about sinning willfully await judgment. Obviously his wife is going to see this, isn't she going to wonder why he's saying this?

 

I was quietly exiting, would he really be trying to confess now? And if so, why? To cause drama? An excuse to exit his marriage? He said he didn't feel guilt. Do MM deliberately cause discovery days?

 

And if that is what he's doing, do I deny everything or fess up?

[beach]

He's not showing evidence of quietly exiting or even confessing now.

 

Look at it realistically = he's not leaving.

 

You're allowing him to toy with your emotions when he's just not leaving.

[GettingOver]

I can tell you I feel pretty worthless and not good enough based on all the comments here that he doesn't like me.

 

I can't force him to spend time with me. All I can do is not initiate anymore and say no to him when he starts sniffing around again.

Dear Scarlet!

My A lasted 3,5 years with 3 breakups during that time and we were LD most of this time. The first time he broke up with me due to issues related to his daughter and he went back home. Then we resumed communication - I initiated cause I was miserable. We sort of got back togerther but looking back I can say that it never became the same as it was in the beginning. In about one year I broke up with him myself - the same reasons as you have. I felt like the last item on his priority list - and it was so. He could simply ignore my email, I was mostly initiating contact and asking him to come over. And he was only giving excuses as to why he caanot do it. So, I got sick of it and broke up with him asking for NC. He managed one month and started talking to me again. I rejected. He started contacting my friends and at the end of the day I gave in, especially that I was moving to where he lived. We got back together again shortly. Guess what?.. Forget all the different excuses as to why he cannot get a D, in about 8 month since that I broke up with him again - and again the reasons were the same. Not only him not getting a D, but him being an ass, not answering texts, blowing hot and cold, not initiating, etc. And this time he could not say that it happened because we lived in different countries. So, what I am trying to say - it doesn't change... If you are the last priority you are very much likely to remain there. And men sence your addiction, they know that you are waiting like a dog and take you for grated. If you keep the same type of behavior - nothing will change. Not only he will not get a D, he will keep on treating you like ****. Try to break it off and see what happens. I wish you all the best and send you a big hug! I am still struggling though I have a new single boyfriend. I was addicted to him, I would do anything for him, I would accept all his excuses and wait like a dog. In the end I recognised that I lost all of my self respect, I was nervous the whole time and could not let this happen any longer... It hurt like hell... But I could not continue either.

[Scarlet2]

Thanks GettingOver. Posts like yours that include personal experience is more helpful than posts that only contain personal opinions.

[GettingOver]

Thanks GettingOver. Posts like yours that include personal experience is more helpful than posts that only contain personal opinions.

 

Feel free to PM me if you need. I found it very helpful for myself. There is a member on this forum who provided me a lot of help and support just by sharing her personal experience in details. Sometimes you think that your situation is unique, and you are sort of "crazy", but then you find someone who's been there already and managed to get out, and you can suddenly see the light in the end of a tunnel

[Scarlet2]

Interesting turn of events, my MM is definitely making even more of an effort now. He came to my house and even helped me with some tasks that I've been asking him for a while and he brought it up without me asking this time. He also mentioned making plans to take me out somewhere that I've been wanting to go with him. I don't know if he's just saying it to appease me or if he just really means it, but he usually does do what he says he's going to do. He hasn't done the empty promise thing that happens in most A's, so I'm feeling it's genuine.

 

Obviously, there still isn't any signs or talk of him leaving his M but is he doing this now because he thinks he's about to lose his cake? Also, the dynamic of his household is almost changed back to the way it was when we first started and now his time freed up some, so maybe that's what it is.

 

I know I'm probably reading into things like I tend to do but I'm wondering if maybe he is reevaluating. He brought up the Robin Williams story and he said "I guess money really doesn't buy you happiness" and I said "it sure doesn't." Based on things he's said, I've concluded he's in the M for the money and now he sees it isn't everything if even a rich celebrity who could have anything he wanted could still be unhappy if he wasn't around the right people.

 

I still have more thinking to do...