Post why finding a good match is/isnt hard

[central]

I found it very difficult to find a higly compatible match, as my criteria were pretty stringent. I used online dating almost exclusively at that time.

 

I had almost 1000 contacts that involved several email exchanges. Out of all those, I only decided to meet about 50, as they seemed very compatible and reasonably attractive as far as I could tell from photos. Some were worth dating a while - most were not for one or more reasons not apparent online. Out of that pool of 1000, only 2 or 3 had real long term potential proven by a period of dating. In my experience, less than one half of one percent were a good match.

[Eivuwan]

As someone pretty fresh out of college... about 50% of my engineering class was women. Granted, I did a biomolecular track and biology is more "stereotypically female", but still - it was 50/50. Engineering is not as male as it once was.

 

Pretty girls with STEM backgrounds are scare, but in theory I don't think it could get better than that. Easier to relate to someone who has a problem solving mindset.

 

Sure, but I don't think it's wise to limit yourself to a few careers. There are women with problem-solving mindsets in all careers.

[Glinda.Good]

I know you were talking to enigma, but I experience the exact same thing he does and I don't hangout with people like that. My homeboy's girl, she thai, cute, she's modeled for a couple of asian magazines (she's extremely skinny) Anyway, she just graduated with a degree in Architecture, she's an animal lover , she knows about crafted beer, she sows and knits stuff. Last week she posted something on facebook about why pin cushions are made to look like tomatoes. I know it's a little cheesy, but it's something. You can actually have an intellectual conversation with her. I wish I could find one like that.

 

Now don't get it twisted, she doesn't have to look like a model and personally, I find her way too skinny. I was just describing her.

 

Actually, I think that is one of the nicest, most refreshing things I have EVER read about a woman written by a man here.

 

Seriously.

 

THAT is what we are talking about when we're all blathering about looks vs. other qualities. You are attracted to the other qualities that this person has.

 

Of course you need to find them attractive in a physical way or else you would be friends instead of in a relationship, but still.

 

YOU know.

 

And please tell us why the pincushions are made to look like tomatoes?

[MGX]

Getting a little back on topic, want to what really makes a woman "quality" in my eyes? Aside from not being obese? Having legitimate interests/hobbies.

 

If there is one thing that makes me run the other way from women, it's when her hobbies are non existent. Eating, sleeping, net flix, hanging out, drinking, watching things, and collecting things don't count. I am very wary of women who want to leech on to my life and expect me to entertain them. I really need to know that she has a life outside of me because, no matter what girl I meet, I will always have my own interests and hobbies. I would love to include her in them, but I need to know that she has something she likes to do by herself as well.

 

I've talked to a lot of girls in a lot of different environments, and I can honestly say it's hard to find a girl who has a real hobby or skill. This is where going to activity type of events or even OLD can be a big plus. Maybe I'm being too judgmental, but I can't seem to shake that requirement.

 

I hear you.

 

LOL, I used to have "movies" as one of my interests, but I changed it when all of these wrong type women watched up with me. Now I went into more detail and now I get fewer (1)s.

 

I'm looking for a female on the geeky side with OLD, but that type is extremely hard to find, especially in the inner city where I'm from. A woman I'm interested in doesn't necessarily have to be that type, but it's what I would prefer -- someone who could easily share my passions, instead of having to work or compromise around them.

[hotpotato]

You have already defeated yourself & you haven't even tried yet. Leagues are BS. People are people no matter what they look like. There are no leagues. OK fine, you probably can't date a super model but every day women you meet are fair game.

 

At a MeetUp event, I met some guy. We chatted & I flirted. Turns out he was in the market to hire somebody who does what I do. Before we parted, I handed him my business card & told him I'd be happy to help him if he called but I'd be happier if he called for non-work reasons. He did call. On our 1st date he confessed that if I hadn't said that he never would have called because he thought I was out of his league. I smile graciously but inside I was like what? I'm not that special. I'm just an average woman.

 

So stop with this league business.

 

So you would date a 70,80 year old man? Fat ugly bald man?

I never had a stalker chick

 

If she's cute, it sounds like a fun thing to have. Though I'd probably scare her away.

 

 

That could be a FA animeme...