My mom calls me fat... is she right.

[TigerLilly78]

Cause I can tell just based on what some people are posting they haven't had any experience. They're just going with whatever popular perception on things they've heard. And you know what the funniest thing is? The average party girl is probably binging and purging way more than this girl is. All that jager really makes you want to puke.

 

You have experience when it comes to this stuff Tiger, I'm not talking about you. That's the reason why you're engaging with me on a serious level instead of just being outraged, you can see something truthful in some of what I'm saying.

 

I agree with you and would love if society would treat overweight people differently but they don't. And if the condom ever broke I'd rather my kid have a happy and comfortable life being thin than a hard and stressful one fighting an uphill battle trying to change society. And it would be selfish of me to not try and make that happen because it would cause them stress or potentially make them like me less. Stress is something they're going to have to get used to in life.

 

Oh please don't patronize me I didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday and for the record I in no way see truth in what your saying cause to me there is none. I am outraged that this other wise healthy girl is being abused that's not fun and its not as "productive" as you seam to think it is..

 

My own mother use to belittle and badly abuse me in a similar manner for years and guess what? it didn't work and only made things allot worse so yeah again I disagree with your views on this subject..

 

Far as your kids not growing up fat cause its easier on them? guess what life's not easy and if you try to always conform so your "fitting in" your wasting your time. Cause if they don't pick on you for weight they will find some other small minded shallow reason to belittle you.

 

To me ide rather teach my kids to accept themselves and be strong and confident with who ever they turn out to be then to waist time trying to make them perfect for an imperfect world.

 

Cause at the end of the day looks fade and all we are left with is who we were as a person and that's what matters most. There are some very ugly "beautiful people" in this world and I wouldn't want to trade places with any of them!

[TigerLilly78]

I really hope the OP doesn't read all of this and think whats going on is ok or right cause its not its so not I often think LS dose more damage then good at times..*sigh

[Trimmer]

Not exactly where I was going with this...too much coddling and artificial esteem building will ruin a child...telling a child that she's "healthy" when there's room for improvement will just screw her when she becomes an adult and wonders why she has issues with dating or loses out to the more attractive women in the real world.

 

The problem might be the delivery. Criticism is certainly not the right answer, but instilling in the kids some value in their appearance will go a long way to helping them succeed in the long run. Relying on unwarranted self-esteem and confidence just creates weak and entitled children...

 

I recently read an article in HuffPost about this very topic...

You're off on a different tangent here. This isn't about some kind of false coddling going on when there's "room for improvement." You've taken the discussion off into the theoretical.

 

This is a mother who is needling her daughter for being "fat" when she is dead nuts in the normal range. To the point where the daughter - by her own admission - is obsessing over a couple hundred calories, and literally losing sleep, and has several times induced vomiting to rid herself of what she considers to be the excessive consumption of 500-700 calories.

 

This shouldn't become a theoretical discussion about whether children in general are coddled or over-praised to their detriment. Go have that discussion elsewhere, because this OP needs to hear advice about the reality of a mother who viciously insults her about her body appearance, when she is right in the normal range, and participates in a fairly vigorous and regular exercise regimen.

[Glinda.Good]

Just because you're in the normal weight range doesn't mean you wouldn't look better 5-10 pounds thinner.

 

And whose business is that, except for MY OWN?

 

A person's weight is NOBODY'S business but their own, unless an intervention is needed due to a serious eating disorder. That would include overeating disorders as well as anorexia / bulimia. If it's harming their health, it's one thing. Because they would "look better" - really?

[gaius]

And whose business is that, except for MY OWN?

 

A person's weight is NOBODY'S business but their own, unless an intervention is needed due to a serious eating disorder. That would include overeating disorders as well as anorexia / bulimia. If it's harming their health, it's one thing. Because they would "look better" - really?

No, that's ridiculous. Of course your weight is part of your parents business. As much as people like to pretend it doesn't, weight matters. A lot. Not just from a health standpoint either.

[gaius]

Oh please don't patronize me I didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday and for the record I in no way see truth in what your saying cause to me there is none. I am outraged that this other wise healthy girl is being abused that's not fun and its not as "productive" as you seam to think it is..

 

My own mother use to belittle and badly abuse me in a similar manner for years and guess what? it didn't work and only made things allot worse so yeah again I disagree with your views on this subject..

 

Far as your kids not growing up fat cause its easier on them? guess what life's not easy and if you try to always conform so your "fitting in" your wasting your time. Cause if they don't pick on you for weight they will find some other small minded shallow reason to belittle you.

 

To me ide rather teach my kids to accept themselves and be strong and confident with who ever they turn out to be then to waist time trying to make them perfect for an imperfect world.

 

Cause at the end of the day looks fade and all we are left with is who we were as a person and that's what matters most. There are some very ugly "beautiful people" in this world and I wouldn't want to trade places with any of them!

Tiger, I really do like you and don't mean to be an arsehole, but don't you think that your weight has had a negative effect on your dating life? On finding someone that makes you happy? The health benefits of dating/marriage are pretty well documented in scientific literature. And that's not even covering the other negative effects extra weight has. I know more than one beautiful, intelligent, sexy woman who's let her weight get out of control and it always causes a myriad of problems. Not a good thing on any level.

 

At least your mom loved you enough to try. And criticism doesn't always work in every case. But in a lot of cases it does.

[Elias33]

It only matters what you think of yourself. Parents or no parents, they are no experts, and may even be biased. In your case clueless. You run 7 min/miles right? That's all you need to know .

 

People could call you pink, a triangle, odd, fluorescent, but that wouldn't change anything would it?

[SpiralOut]

No, that's ridiculous. Of course your weight is part of your parents business. As much as people like to pretend it doesn't, weight matters. A lot. Not just from a health standpoint either.

 

After age 18, not very much about you is your parents business anymore.

Edited August 4, 2014 by SpiralOut

[Tayla]

Has the OP come back to respond to this thread? Seems mute to continue with the posters response or interaction of inquiry.

[TigerLilly78]

Tiger, I really do like you and don't mean to be an arsehole, but don't you think that your weight has had a negative effect on your dating life? On finding someone that makes you happy? The health benefits of dating/marriage are pretty well documented in scientific literature. And that's not even covering the other negative effects extra weight has. I know more than one beautiful, intelligent, sexy woman who's let her weight get out of control and it always causes a myriad of problems. Not a good thing on any level.

 

At least your mom loved you enough to try. And criticism doesn't always work in every case. But in a lot of cases it does.

 

To be honest here no I do not believe it has hindered me ive had more relationships long term ones then alot of other people on this message board including being engaged once. ive also had more then my share of one night stands/flings fwb.

 

I now choose who and when I sleep with people and who im willing to get into a relationship with just like anyone else. Im not desperate or at a loss for men who will date me.

 

The health issues are a completely different matter to me now what my mother did was mental verbal and physical abuse and I do not like you telling me she did in my own best interest.

 

When it damaged me quite severely it took a long time and counseling to come to terms with what that women did and you have no right what so ever to pass such a nonchalant judgement on that in no way was it done out of love or caring..