Author tuxedo cat Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 How do you know he's keeping tabs on you? It sounds more like he's done what you should be doing. Not caring. You haven't moved on. How long has it been? It's going to impact other areas of your life, including your job search. Do you work out? If not, you should. Strenuously. Gaius' suggestion has merit as well. I don't think the answer is to hate on myself for still caring a little. After all, it's a lot easier for the dumper to move on. I am moving on, just more slowly. There are a few last shards in there that I still hack up from time to time. But for the most part, I'm okay. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 No, don't hate on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 I realized today that there are a lot of things about myself that I feel a sense of shame about and this is the source of some of my social difficulties. I want to start working on the things I m ashamed about that are in my control. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bluej244 Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Okay, having written all that, I need to think strategically. It probably would be good if I welcomed rejection and failure a little more. I think I'll start by going to meet-ups and slowly easing my way into socializing. I'm going to set a goal of going to at least two meet ups or events next week. Also, I want to start logging my progress by counting the number of days I've stuck with my plan. Tomorrow is day one. I'm going to clarify my goals to make them more structured. Three goals a day: 1) write 2) socialize 3) misc project 1) write -- 2 hours of writing each day, rain or shine. 2) anything social -- If I'm unable to attend an event, I need to have at least a brief conversation with somebody outside of my comfort zone. At work counts if all else fails. 3) This is a rolling category for my side projects. I can pick from the following three options. 2 hours: -read (doesn't matter what) or watch a movie (take notes if movie) -take photos -work on reel At least 2 hours on each category is necessary on free days but if work or some other event intervenes I need to find a way of covering each category for some amount of time (even if it's 15 minutes!) The main point is I have to hit each of these three goals in some capacity, ever day, no matter what. If I fail to hit a category, I return to day 1 of progress. Only exceptions for illness or emergency. Given this revision I need to modify by plan for tomorrow: 1) write 2) socialize (will probably be with my extended family) 3) work on reel Wish me luck!! Welcome rejection because it will always be a part of living. You won't always be accepted. I'm glad you thought of that. Don't be discouraged because every closed doors, a new one opens. Keep a good vibe. May this It takes Optimism to live a balanced and happy life | End Burn Out - Deal with Stress help you as it helped me. Good luck and wish you all the best! Remember: Good things start from small beginnings. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted September 5, 2014 Author Share Posted September 5, 2014 I feel so alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 I feel so alone. Me too ......... Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 I feel so alone. Me too ......... No need to gals. You have the peeps at LS to support and rally you onward and upward. *hugs* 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted September 5, 2014 Author Share Posted September 5, 2014 Thanks, WG. During the day when I'm busy I'm fine but every time I get home and have a moment to reflect, the loneliness hits. This city is tough. I'm alone in a literal sense. I haven't made a single friend here and I feel like a weirdo who doesn't fit in with the new york lifestyle. My whole adult life I've let myself be used by people as a stop gap to recharge their self esteem and then move on to something better. I would have intense, all-consuming connections that vanished as if they never even existed. I've collected so many worthless connections and bad experiences, as if I'm building evidence for a case against humanity. I've been promised everything by everyone and yet I have nothing--not a single connection left. I feel such rage at other people, especially men, for their dishonesty and cruelty. I also feel so angry at myself for not finding a better solution, for being so limited in my capacity to adapt. I'm tired of trying. I'm worn out, cynical and spent. Link to post Share on other sites
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