Author tuxedo cat Posted July 21, 2014 Author Share Posted July 21, 2014 On the plus side a friend and I are shooting a video of a musician we met this weekend, and I should be able to use that in the reel that I'm working on. Right now I have no reel but once I do (hopefully in 6 months to a year) my job prospects will go up a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted July 22, 2014 Author Share Posted July 22, 2014 (edited) I had an unlucky but productive day. I applied to about 30 places. I need to manage my time better because I spend so much job hunting that I end up having no time for my other daily goals. Tomorrow I have two more interviews and a commitment at my internship from 6-8:30. I'll probably be home around 10. I really won't have time to do anything else as traveling will consume most of my day. So I'm going to commit to reading while in transit and spending an hour preparing for an interview I have the next morning. Edited July 22, 2014 by tuxedo cat Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted July 22, 2014 Author Share Posted July 22, 2014 I've been thinking about my ex less in the past few days. Not exactly sure why but I'll take it. I feel hopeful tonight, having managed to fill the next few weeks with busy-ness. Lots of interviews this week, then a meetup event on Friday night (my first!), and a video shoot with a friend either Saturday or Sunday. The other day I'm heading to the beach for another project. I'm also embarking on a four day road trip with another friend in early August. He is covering all expenses, which is sweet of him. Although I don't have many friends, I'm lucky in that the few I do have are supportive and generous. I reconnected with an old acquaintance tonight whom I met in a movie forum a few years back, and we'll be meeting in person for the first time next week. Our connection is purely platonic but I think he'll be able to provide me with some valuable career and networking advice. He's offered to introduce me to people he's met in the field. He's a really nice guy. It's funny how often the most generous people end up being the ones who owe you the least. Despite all his pronouncements, I can't imagine my ex helping me with anything that in any way inconvenienced him or took an iota of real effort. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 You will get a job TC. I know it seems nearly impossible now but you will see. A lot of bad luck you are having is random and it will pass. I believe in you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 You will get a job TC. I know it seems nearly impossible now but you will see. A lot of bad luck you are having is random and it will pass. I believe in you. I agree. It just takes perseverance. You will get there in the end 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted July 22, 2014 Author Share Posted July 22, 2014 (edited) Thanks, guys! I really appreciate your support. I just had my third cafe interview and pretty sure I didn't get it. Women never seem to hire me. I don't know what energy I give off. I have three more interviews tomorrow. Gearing myself up for a slew of rejections. I nee d to figure out what I'm doing wrong with women because this is a recurring problem. Could it just be that they sense I'm not one of them? In some ways Im wired more like a guy. Edited July 22, 2014 by tuxedo cat Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted July 22, 2014 Author Share Posted July 22, 2014 It's not a matter of warmth. I go out of my way to do help other people. I think it's just a .atter of me seeming different and a bit awkward. I don't know how to correct that. It's so frustrating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted July 23, 2014 Author Share Posted July 23, 2014 Good news. I got a trial from that interview I had today. It's happening on Friday. Today I assisted again at this internship for two hours. I've been doing well there but today I felt very awkward. Sometimes that happens. I just feel stiff and unnatural and things don't flow. I'm afraid of this internship turning into a repeat of the last one where the bosses ostracize me because they find me awkward and weird. I don't know how to change my energy. Trying to relax when you're feeling anxious is nearly impossible I find. Link to post Share on other sites
Thruster Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 hey tux: You are already working on #2 here now - just get out there and say hello good luck out there Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted July 23, 2014 Author Share Posted July 23, 2014 I just got an interview tomorrow evening for an assistant job with a top talent agency. I'm terrified. I think my chances of getting this job are minimal because I don't interview especially well BUT at least I got an interview somewhere finally!! And it's good practice. That's a step in the right direction. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Thruster Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 OK Cat -- read up on what is a good interview SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH be a good listener when you are there Ask - -questions about the company ask the HR person what they like about the company ask them about the benfit package get them talking - -you can sit back and smile and steal the job good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted July 23, 2014 Author Share Posted July 23, 2014 Honestly, I don't know if I have the guts to go on this interview. I just looked up the talent agent who will be interviewing me and she seems super cut throat. I watched a few of her videos and I could tell within 30 seconds she's a hard ass based on the way she speaks--super fast, very little inflection, no warmth. I'm good at reading people, and as somebody who comes off the polar opposite, I doubt she will hire me. Is it worth going, knowing that there's a 95% chance I won't get the job? Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Honestly, I don't know if I have the guts to go on this interview. I just looked up the talent agent who will be interviewing me and she seems super cut throat. I watched a few of her videos and I could tell within 30 seconds she's a hard ass based on the way she speaks--super fast, very little inflection, no warmth. I'm good at reading people, and as somebody who comes off the polar opposite, I doubt she will hire me. Is it worth going, knowing that there's a 95% chance I won't get the job? Go. Never be afraid to take chances like that - it builds character. I've been to interviews and meetings with businessmen and managers who chew CEOs for breakfast for a living, and managed to hang in there after much practice. When it comes to dealing with people like this, they are either super warm and friendly or very f*cking intimidating. It's tough, but you'll be surprised at what you're capable of when you go to be assessed by them The more interviews you get, the better you'll be at dealing with them. Could try getting some literature or watching videos to help you if this is a source of concern. I used to suck at interviews and I was always terrified, even as someone who's performed on stage in front of many people. You will get used to it, and all that nervous energy will become excitement. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted July 23, 2014 Author Share Posted July 23, 2014 Go. Never be afraid to take chances like that - it builds character. I've been to interviews and meetings with businessmen and managers who chew CEOs for breakfast for a living, and managed to hang in there after much practice. When it comes to dealing with people like this, they are either super warm and friendly or very f*cking intimidating. It's tough, but you'll be surprised at what you're capable of when you go to be assessed by them The more interviews you get, the better you'll be at dealing with them. Could try getting some literature or watching videos to help you if this is a source of concern. I used to suck at interviews and I was always terrified, even as someone who's performed on stage in front of many people. You will get used to it, and all that nervous energy will become excitement. Okay, I'm gonna go. Screw nerves. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted July 24, 2014 Author Share Posted July 24, 2014 Eh. Terrible luck. I woke up this morning really sick--I was vomiting and haven't been able to keep anything down all day. I can't tell if it's anxiety or food poisoning -- I had delivery from this sort of seedy Indian restaurant late last night. I woke up in a cold sweat, sick to my stomach. I had to reschedule my interview and it's been demoted to a phone interview on Monday. The musician my friend and I were going to film this weekend to help build my reel cancelled last minute for the second week in a row, which is a bummer. We've decided to go to the beach instead to take photos. I have a trial at that cafe tomorrow. Wish me luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted July 25, 2014 Author Share Posted July 25, 2014 So I had my trial at that cafe today except it wasn't really a trial. She just told me to stand there and observe for an hour. I wasn't sure what to do with myself. At the end of the hour she asked me whether I could come in for training next Tuesday for 6 hours. I can't tell if this means I was hired or I'm still on trial. Any idea? Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 So I had my trial at that cafe today except it wasn't really a trial. She just told me to stand there and observe for an hour. I wasn't sure what to do with myself. At the end of the hour she asked me whether I could come in for training next Tuesday for 6 hours. I can't tell if this means I was hired or I'm still on trial. Any idea? It's at the very least strong consideration. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted July 25, 2014 Author Share Posted July 25, 2014 (edited) It's at the very least strong consideration. After my last trial was cancelled I'm half expecting to get a phone call before Tuesday saying they've hired somebody else. I just don't want to get my hopes up. I'm still interviewing other places as a back up. Edited July 25, 2014 by tuxedo cat Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted July 25, 2014 Author Share Posted July 25, 2014 Just got an interview next week for a really nifty part time marketing internship at a production company. I was hoping to land an interview there because the ad says there's a strong chance of promotion within the company as it's a rapidly growing startup. I've never done any kind of marketing so wasn't expecting to hear back but I sent her a writing sample that she liked. Wish me luck, guys! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 Some positive updates. 1) I got a cafe job. It's only a couple of days a week so I need to find another but at least I have some source of income. I still can't tell how I feel about the place. One of the girls is really nice...the other is so so. Had my first real day today and it went alright, although I felt very shy. Hopefully I'll warm up with time. Because of my bad experience at that internship I feel paranoid about getting fired. 2) I reached out to a small casting office in the city. The lady who runs it really liked my scouting photos and I'll be meeting her for coffee next week. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted July 30, 2014 Author Share Posted July 30, 2014 (edited) Okay, good and bad, bad first: I've been shooting myself in the foot for the last month by canceling multiple interviews. Usually I email the recruiter a couple of hours before that I got another job. I cancelled my interview with a major talent agency this morning, which is a shame because I was courageous enough to do a phone interview with them yesterday (they never called). I have serious performance jitters and I no longer believe in my ability to perform at any job. When I was contemplating going this morning I told myself even if I get the job I will get canned within days. I feel ashamed about my lack of confidence in person compared to how great I seem on paper. Going on an interview is as embarrassing for me as stepping into a top modeling agency and trying to get signed as a regular person. Can I break this down into simple steps that won't overwhelm me? I have one idea, which is to be pickier about where I apply so I'm not inundated with commitments. At first I wasn't getting any interviews but since tightening my cover letter I've been getting lots. I end up squeezing three or four into one day and then waking up feeling overwhelmed and canceling all of them. I also don't prepare because I want to avoid even thinking about going, so I don't do my laundry the night before and that makes it harder for me to feel motivated in the morning. I should be much pickier and only go on a few interviews a week. I'm about to do my laundry, which is good. Then tonight I'm meeting with this guy who is a good professional connection. The good: The lady from the casting company who wants to meet with me next week sent me an email this morning asking whether I was available to help with a month long project for a certain client. She said we could discuss more when we meet. Sounds great. My only concern is whether I will be paid. In NY that is always a concern when people don't expressly state the terms upfront. At the other agency where I'm interning part time I proposed an idea to the casting director that she really liked to help entice more students to their classes. I will get paid (a small amount) for a service that I'll be providing to their clients. Edited July 31, 2014 by tuxedo cat Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 I don't see anything in regards to dating on that list. Having a regular sex life with a guy who finds you attractive might go a long way toward relieving some of that anxiety and getting some confidence going. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted August 7, 2014 Author Share Posted August 7, 2014 I'm thinking about my ex less but I still have the heavy sadness sometimes. I hate the idea of him keeping tabs of me, doing a casual google search of my name every couple of years to scratch some faint interest and guilt, constructing whatever he finds into a narrative that I am perfectly fine and he can go back to not caring. If he can't be haunted like I am, he could at least be left with some questions like people were pre Internet. Honestly, he can shove his faint interest up his a#ss. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuxedo cat Posted August 7, 2014 Author Share Posted August 7, 2014 Yesterday was my birthday. I think I'm slowly recovering my confidence. I'm not going to let some idiots who spend their lives reading Jezebel and resizing photos of models dictate how I view myself and my future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I'm thinking about my ex less but I still have the heavy sadness sometimes. I hate the idea of him keeping tabs of me, doing a casual google search of my name every couple of years to scratch some faint interest and guilt, constructing whatever he finds into a narrative that I am perfectly fine and he can go back to not caring. If he can't be haunted like I am, he could at least be left with some questions like people were pre Internet. Honestly, he can shove his faint interest up his a#ss. How do you know he's keeping tabs on you? It sounds more like he's done what you should be doing. Not caring. You haven't moved on. How long has it been? It's going to impact other areas of your life, including your job search. Do you work out? If not, you should. Strenuously. Gaius' suggestion has merit as well. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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