ponchsox Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 It seems more and more young males, mostly from the millenials, are becoming increasingly beta and clingy towards women. I keep seeing tons of posts in the breakup forum "she left me and I can't get on with my life" or "I've lost all motivation." Even worse "can I get her back?" Don't get me wrong, breakups suck and are hard when you love someone. But guys need to stop giving up their man cards to women and move on and live their life like alpha males. That doesn't mean to be a jerk, control freak, or arrogant. It means to be a leader, be confident, and have your own direction in life and not be influenced by women so easily. A woman should add to your life and be someone who you can share it with. Their job isn't to make YOU happy. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
greenbee81 Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 I think it is only because the population is increasing. Also I believe our youths have been mislead by many media outlets ie magazines music. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 I keep seeing tons of posts in the breakup forum "she left me and I can't get on with my life" or "I've lost all motivation." Even worse "can I get her back?" Don't get me wrong, breakups suck and are hard when you love someone. But guys need to stop giving up their man cards to women and move on and live their life like alpha males. Loving a woman, opening your heart, and giving oneself over, to the extent that you bleed a little when it's over, is an extremely high-risk, insane, and almost reckless move. It's something beta males aren't usually as good at. Life is short, and somebody who is truly strong doesn't waste away hiding behind some fake macho mask. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 The # is not increasing. Their visibility through the internet is increasing. Also even outwardly Alpha males now have the ability to anonymously use forums like this to express feelings that they were otherwise socialized to bottle up 6 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 Just another end result of the over feminization of society...Really...what do you expect? TFY 7 Link to post Share on other sites
FitnessRN Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 I wouldn't assume that. This is a forum and people are trying to figure out coping mechanisms. People are not good at catching red flags and making decisive decisions to better themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 I would say the number has risen a little. Mostly because the general population is increasing and because a lot more men live now that probably would not have 50 years ago. Thankfully we have fewer wars and less physically demanding jobs (among other factors) that led to more men dying young. Some of those young men were would-be betas. Personally, I think I'm a beta male or maybe omega. I don't really know for sure between those two. But I'm definitely not an alpha who can get women. Just not going to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
FrostBlaze Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 (edited) Can i ask why this bothers you so much as to let us know via this topic? Curious. As for what you said, i do believe it's true, but as others have mentioned i am sure that the numbers have not exactly increased per say. Such people existed in the past they just kept it bottled up inside of them because of society and acted as was told. In today's age it's more accepted and Ok so people are coming forth about it. Believe me i know a few stories from gramps and other older men. Back in the day they kept a straight face and cried it of by themselves in intimacy so noone would know, but they suffered after women as the men today DO. They wanted to crawl back, but because of how they would be percieved they choose not to...if being FAKE is what made the old men, men...idk. It's just that the ones from today show it off so openly since it's considered OK. PS: Idk what this beta/alpha male bull**** is all about, to most guys it's just a act. "I ain't gonna do that cu'z i'd look beta, but i wanna do it. So let me put up this act". Going by what i can find on the internet and what people say, i myself can be very alpha, and othertimes very beta, so how does this work..? Edited June 29, 2014 by FrostBlaze 7 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 (edited) It seems more and more young males, mostly from the millenials, are becoming increasingly beta and clingy towards women. I keep seeing tons of posts in the breakup forum "she left me and I can't get on with my life" or "I've lost all motivation." Even worse "can I get her back?" Don't get me wrong, breakups suck and are hard when you love someone. But guys need to stop giving up their man cards to women and move on and live their life like alpha males. That doesn't mean to be a jerk, control freak, or arrogant. It means to be a leader, be confident, and have your own direction in life and not be influenced by women so easily. A woman should add to your life and be someone who you can share it with. Their job isn't to make YOU happy. I think it's because of social media. White knights have always been around, but now they can keep tabs the women they obsess over. There isn't enough in the media about being the leader and stuff like that, just love stories and stuff like that. Edited June 29, 2014 by jay1983 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 I don't actually think the number has "risen". Simply that in yesteryear, the subset of men who have traits like this were taught to repress a lot of their feelings and traits of this nature, and now we're experiencing an extreme manifestation in men like this. What there needs to be is more self-reflection, awareness and adequate channeling of such traits. Also, we are more visible now with social media so we are under far more scrutiny and the extreme traits are emphasized and presented as the reality when in truth most of us are in the middle or encompass a number of traits and channel them differently. It's normal to be hurt after breakups and disappointments. As much as constantly crying about it on the internet isn't the answer, repression isn't the answer either. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 It seems more and more young males, mostly from the millenials, are becoming increasingly beta and clingy towards women. I keep seeing tons of posts in the breakup forum "she left me and I can't get on with my life" or "I've lost all motivation." Even worse "can I get her back?" Don't get me wrong, breakups suck and are hard when you love someone. But guys need to stop giving up their man cards to women and move on and live their life like alpha males. That doesn't mean to be a jerk, control freak, or arrogant. It means to be a leader, be confident, and have your own direction in life and not be influenced by women so easily. A woman should add to your life and be someone who you can share it with. Their job isn't to make YOU happy. It's all very well to say what people should be, but in the immediate aftermath of a relationship they value breaking up, most people are a bit messed up. Especially if they're the dumpee. Whether you want to value them as alpha, beta, whatever....most human beings have feelings, they invest those feelings in relationships and they hurt when those relationships are over. That applies to men as well as women. I don't think shaming people for having feelings, and not just being able to bounce away instantly from broken relationships like rubber balls, is realistically going to result in them suddenly snapping out of their wounded emotional state. Somebody posted this video on Facebook the other day. Your Friends Are Liars--This Video Shows The Reality Behind Facebook Status Updates | Co.Create | creativity + culture + commerce Can't we acknowledge that men are as capable as women are of experiencing a broken heart? That the hurt doesn't simply vanish just because other people think they should "man up". That being supportive friends to men who are going through that hard time doesn't mean they'll transform into needy marshmallows. In some cases, it might just save a life or stop a guy going down a very wrong track. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 It seems more and more young males, mostly from the millenials, are becoming increasingly beta and clingy towards women....But guys need to stop giving up their man cards to women and move on and live their life like alpha males. I get and agree with your point about having strength and one's own purpose. That's something everyone should do, not just males. But when it moves into the territory of talking about alph/beta, man cards, mangina, "feminized men" etc. it seems like trying to force (often by shame) half of the population into some rigid gender role that not every will or should fit. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 I get and agree with your point about having strength and one's own purpose. That's something everyone should do, not just males. But when it moves into the territory of talking about alph/beta, man cards, mangina, "feminized men" etc. it seems like trying to force (often by shame) half of the population into some rigid gender role that not every will or should fit. True... But it just seems like its more "accepted" by society today to not be an "alpha".type... What is an "alpha" ?? I dunno.....All I can say is that it doesnt sit well to be a man and carry on like a little girl when the shyt hits the fan...Thats when a man is supposed to be strong and resolute..I think women find this "beta behavior" acceptable, generally because many dont like the "strong" side of men as much as they might have some years ago....(not macho shyt...you know what I mean).. But thats an answer for you ladies...Maybe you dont find it attractive? I dunno...whats your take?? TFY Link to post Share on other sites
SummerDreams Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 I don't believe that clingy males have increased rather than arrogant and want-it-all women have increased. It's like the law of supply and demand, the less jobs there are and the more unemployed people there are, the more the demands are increased and the salaries are decreased. Women don't want to spend their energy to someone who is not almost perfect cause they know they have dozens, hundreds of choices. As we say in my country, the good is the enemy of the better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AnyaNova Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 True... But it just seems like its more "accepted" by society today to not be an "alpha".type... What is an "alpha" ?? I dunno.....All I can say is that it doesnt sit well to be a man and carry on like a little girl when the shyt hits the fan...Thats when a man is supposed to be strong and resolute..I think women find this "beta behavior" acceptable, generally because many dont like the "strong" side of men as much as they might have some years ago....(not macho shyt...you know what I mean).. But thats an answer for you ladies...Maybe you dont find it attractive? I dunno...whats your take?? TFY I have to say I find the "alpha male" or the idea that all men, if they are truly men, should be "alpha males" patently ridiculous. Consider. The term comes from wolf packs and other animal "societies." But that is the point and what makes the transferal to human societies utterly, to my mind, bizarre. There is only one "alpha male" in every pack. It is a hierarchical structure. Not every male animal is or behaves like an alpha male. So why is there this underlying idea that all men should behave in this manner, or be this? Furthermore, in both men and women, human personality is highly varied. Instead of assuming that there is some sort of gender archetype personality that everyone born to that gender should ascribe to, perhaps instead we should encourage each individual to be most truly who they actually are. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 True... But it just seems like its more "accepted" by society today to not be an "alpha".type... What is an "alpha" ?? I dunno.....All I can say is that it doesnt sit well to be a man and carry on like a little girl when the shyt hits the fan...Thats when a man is supposed to be strong and resolute..I think women find this "beta behavior" acceptable, generally because many dont like the "strong" side of men as much as they might have some years ago....(not macho shyt...you know what I mean).. But thats an answer for you ladies...Maybe you dont find it attractive? I dunno...whats your take?? TFY I would give a man the same advice I give myself, really. There's a time to show your vulnerability, and a time to keep on your emotional armour. It all depends on what, and who, you have to deal with in the immediate future. There are some people you're best not letting your guard slip around, because they're not trustworthy. Even if they want to be, maybe they're just not people you have a close enough relationship with to let that guard down. On the other hand, letting your guard down and having somebody pierce softest parts of you can be a defining moment in terms of facing your fears and learning your own strength. There's also that element of sometimes having to take those risks in order to learn who you can trust. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 I have to say I find the "alpha male" or the idea that all men, if they are truly men, should be "alpha males" patently ridiculous. Consider. The term comes from wolf packs and other animal "societies." But that is the point and what makes the transferal to human societies utterly, to my mind, bizarre. There is only one "alpha male" in every pack. It is a hierarchical structure. Not every male animal is or behaves like an alpha male. So why is there this underlying idea that all men should behave in this manner, or be this? Furthermore, in both men and women, human personality is highly varied. Instead of assuming that there is some sort of gender archetype personality that everyone born to that gender should ascribe to, perhaps instead we should encourage each individual to be most truly who they actually are. OK, fine.... So what is the alternative? Most men look up to the "Alpha"(just as most women look up to the Alpha female)..I agree with what you are saying...and its fine if you are the type of guy that can accept the fact that you will always be last at the dinner table....so to speak... Its no secret that there is an underlying "feminization" happening...Its been going on for 3 + decades..Is it "good" for society, in general? I dunno...Ill leave that for those that have time to study how those things affect society and interpersonal relationships...Something isnt working as it should...I dont think anyone can deny that when they look at the colossal failure rate of men and women in relationships.. And its the same reason you dont understand the dynamic of "male friends", if you ask me..Im not being critical, but you seem to be dismissing that which we, as people, are born with and are seeking some kind of "idealistic" world for you and those around you.. I do wish you well on that front... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 I would give a man the same advice I give myself, really. There's a time to show your vulnerability, and a time to keep on your emotional armour. It all depends on what, and who, you have to deal with in the immediate future. There are some people you're best not letting your guard slip around, because they're not trustworthy. Even if they want to be, maybe they're just not people you have a close enough relationship with to let that guard down. On the other hand, letting your guard down and having somebody pierce softest parts of you can be a defining moment in terms of facing your fears and learning your own strength. There's also that element of sometimes having to take those risks in order to learn who you can trust. As usual I agree with you ... Its just not how I, as a person, am wired...Never show weakness....EVER...especially to a woman... These traits are helpful in business and life. Now that doesn't mean I am heartless or discompassionate, quite the contrary...And if I cut myself I bleed red blood like anyone else..Just that the thought of spilling my guts and crying over a relationship or job situation, etc..seems like the absolute worst thing one can possibly do, as a man..even though I know its completely acceptable.. What can I say? call me an unenlightened moron...I dunno... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 It seems more and more young males, mostly from the millenials, are becoming increasingly beta and clingy towards women.What behavior from non-millenials have you seen? Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 I've noticed this lately myself. Almost seem like 16 year olds in relationships. Nothing is more of a turn off like posts on facebook like "happy one month anniversary baby" by men or women. Or "I love you baby" after just weeks of dating. This same person made a long post and tagged his girlfriend in his long winded facebook status saying "I've enjoyed the ride and good things must come to an end." And they were only in a relationship for a few months.. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aussietigerwolf Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 Agreed, and if a guy showed no emotions and acted like his opinion was "I don't care, I can just get the next ho down the street" then id certainly question"us" I get and agree with your point about having strength and one's own purpose. That's something everyone should do, not just males. But when it moves into the territory of talking about alph/beta, man cards, mangina, "feminized men" etc. it seems like trying to force (often by shame) half of the population into some rigid gender role that not every will or should fit. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Scorpio Chick Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 I worked in a law office whose specialty was divorce and custody issues. Until then, I didn't realize that many men now let women do their dirty work for them, and I must say, it disgusted me to no end. And it disgusted me the women who frothed at the mouth to step up and do that dirty work. Here was a typical scenario: We would get a call from our male client's new wife. It would go something like this: 'I don't think it's fair that <my new husband> has to pay X amount of dollars to his ex-wife!!' Blather, blather, whine, whine. 'And he's paying too much in child support! His wife is making X amount of dollars and <my new husband> is making X amount of dollars.' Blather, blather, whine whine. Regardless of the specifics, I wondered - where the hell is your new husband? Is he incapable of picking up the phone to talk to his attorney and argue his own business? Then there was the male client's new wife who asked about the possibility of her new husband basically abandoning any right to visitation simply so he would no longer have to pay child support. Working at that place made me see some of the worst of people AND THEY WERE OUR CLIENTS. I shook my head dozens of times a day and kept a bucket nearby (sarcasm) so I could throw up at what I heard on the phone and in person which clearly demonstrated the balls our male clients didn't possess. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 Agreed, and if a guy showed no emotions and acted like his opinion was "I don't care, I can just get the next ho down the street" then id certainly question"us" Thats just dumb.... So a guy basically has to fall apart and turn into a babbling little crybaby for it to have "meant anything"?? You have no idea what type of pain he might be feeling, just because he chooses to handle it internally...It could be ripping him to shreds..To just make the assumption that the relationship was meaningless because he didnt fall apart over it is ridiculous.... .02 TFY Link to post Share on other sites
FitnessRN Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 As usual I agree with you ... Its just not how I, as a person, am wired...Never show weakness....EVER...especially to a woman... These traits are helpful in business and life. Now that doesn't mean I am heartless or discompassionate, quite the contrary...And if I cut myself I bleed red blood like anyone else..Just that the thought of spilling my guts and crying over a relationship or job situation, etc..seems like the absolute worst thing one can possibly do, as a man..even though I know its completely acceptable.. What can I say? call me an unenlightened moron...I dunno... TFY I just would say don't be a pushover. The control freaks like people who are in submission and passive. Most guys don't take their crap. One time a girl accused me of something and I told her "you can get rid of me right now if you don't like it" That sent a statement. I didn't take her crap and I was very direct. I could tell she was controlling despite her trying to accuse me of being controlling (This was the first one of more than 10 people I've dated accusing me of this. She also told me "I can be a b1tch," that date Anyone that says that, you know may have some issues. The red flags were everywhere and I dodged a bullet. Trust me, there is a reason why some girls are with guys who are soft and have low self-esteem...they worship them like goddesses 24/7 (liking every FB status, liking every FB photo, commenting all the time, tagging her in every photo on every date) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FitnessRN Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 I would give a man the same advice I give myself, really. There's a time to show your vulnerability, and a time to keep on your emotional armour. It all depends on what, and who, you have to deal with in the immediate future. There are some people you're best not letting your guard slip around, because they're not trustworthy. Even if they want to be, maybe they're just not people you have a close enough relationship with to let that guard down. On the other hand, letting your guard down and having somebody pierce softest parts of you can be a defining moment in terms of facing your fears and learning your own strength. There's also that element of sometimes having to take those risks in order to learn who you can trust. With regards psychopaths/manipulators, never let your guard down even when you reject them. They can manipulate you and wait for the right time when you might be depressed from a friends death...she waited for months to get me at the right time....That was a few months too long for me. Only one slipped through the cracks and that was when I hit a depression. When you are depressed, you are vulnerable and don't see any red flags. Link to post Share on other sites
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