Baller25 Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 As the others said, you need to move to texting asap. I'm surprised that girls didn't just message you their number, usually they do that with me after 2-3 messages. Also it will keep the girls off POF; every time she checks her messages from you on POF there are lots of other ads for other profiles around the page to get her interest away not to mention all the other messages from other guys. Every message you send should end with a "?" until you get to talking. No dates at first, only meetups at starbucks. Only call after 5 days to arrange a second date — if she forgets you or is disinterested then she never was really into you. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Only call after 5 days to arrange a second date — if she forgets you or is disinterested then she never was really into you. I have lots of experience with online dating. If a man waits 5 days to set a second date the girl will think he's not interested and she will concentrate on someone else. One date is not enough to secure the attention of most women. Sometimes I have 2-3 different coffee dates a week. If you want my attention then set date 2 at the end of date 1, then you are 1 step ahead of all the other guys. Also, if I got an invite for a second date quickly I will put more attention on you because you've shown more interest. It's human nature to be curious about someone that is curious about us. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Don't you gentlemen read on here? It's full of women talking about it's been 48 hours and he has not contacted me, omg is he interested and you want to wait 5 days? Where do you get these dumb rules? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 I don't know when I was actively using POF years ago all I got was sarcastic weird messages from jaded angry men all cause I said I wanted to start off as friends I left that place never went back..chalked it up to it must be a pure hook up site.. Link to post Share on other sites
Baller25 Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 (edited) Don't you gentlemen read on here? It's full of women talking about it's been 48 hours and he has not contacted me, omg is he interested and you want to wait 5 days? Where do you get these dumb rules? Haha I complete disagree. Also the original rule is 2-3 days, I make it 5 days maybe a week. Also us 'gentlemen' choose to ignore some advice from women only after it proves to be wrong. All women expect the guy to contact them within a day or two if they want to play the 'I'm not desperate' game. If you think that guys should call in 48 hours then why aren't you dating that nice guy loser that doesn't keep you on your toes? Waiting 5-7 days is unexpected. I know that women love the element of surprise and unpredictability. It's also a great way to see if the girl is into you (yes one 30-minute starbucks meet up is enough). Sure she might might up with other guys, but she'll always be thinking of the guy that hasn't called yet. Think before you call things dumb Edited June 24, 2014 by Baller25 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 I am a female, single and actively online dating (which means I have field experience so my opinion on the matter has weight) and I am telling you it's a dumb rule that will turn off majority of women. back at you lol Other ladies of that opinion? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RachR Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 I am a female, single and actively online dating (which means I have field experience so my opinion on the matter has weight) and I am telling you it's a dumb rule that will turn off majority of women. back at you lol Other ladies of that opinion? ^This. Wait five days to get in touch with me after a first date... I'll have figured the man lost interest by then and move on. That's just silly and way too long. And for the record, when I'm highly interested in a man, I am delighted when he contacts me even the very next day. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Baller25 Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 (edited) ^This. Wait five days to get in touch with me after a first date... I'll have figured the man lost interest by then and move on. That's just silly and way too long. And for the record, when I'm highly interested in a man, I am delighted when he contacts me even the very next day. Five days isn't that long especially if you meet up during the weekend. If your into a guy there is no way that you'd just forget about him after a week. If you meet up with any other guy the guy that hasn't called will always be on your mind. When I was 20ish I always did the next day thing but it's only more recently that I've figured that women need that element of unpredictability. This is a perfect example of why so many men don't get it, it's because of the advice column that counteracts everything. It's like when girls say that guys should say I love you and call all the time, just to end up dumping guys because he says he loves you too much and calls you too often. All my female cousins always follow a pattern of dating a tough guy, try to make them soft and then dump them for being too soft. By the way I'm saying 5-7 days AFTER the first meet up. Edited June 24, 2014 by Baller25 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Five days isn't that long especially if you meet up during the weekend. If your into a guy there is no way that you'd just forget about him after a week. If you meet up with any other guy the guy that hasn't called will always be on your mind. When I was 20ish I always did the next day thing but it's only more recently that I've figured that women need that element of unpredictability. This is a perfect example of why so many men don't get it, it's because of the advice column that counteracts everything. It's like when girls say that guys should say I love you and call all the time, just to end up dumping guys because he says he loves you too much and calls you too often. All my female cousins always follow a pattern of dating a tough guy, try to make them soft and then dump them for being too soft. By the way I'm saying 5-7 days AFTER the first meet up. Way too long for today's dating game. Maybe in the 80s. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Five days isn't that long especially if you meet up during the weekend. If your into a guy there is no way that you'd just forget about him after a week. If you meet up with any other guy the guy that hasn't called will always be on your mind. Why do you know better what women want when you're not a woman? lol You hear from the mouth of women themselves it's too long, yet you still think you know better than women!! What tampon should I use Baller25? I am sure you know best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RachR Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 (edited) By the way I'm saying 5-7 days AFTER the first meet up. I got that. You are advising men to contact up to a week after the first meet up. I said I enjoy when it's even the next day. Hence, there's no need to be waiting a ridiculously long time if interest is there. I am around 30. I know what I like. Men, don't play the game of waiting a week. That's ridiculous. Edited June 25, 2014 by RachR Link to post Share on other sites
aprilisi Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Most of my messages have been of a sexual nature. Which I ignore. Or they trun sexual. Never had a man ask for my number within 5 messages. I've had a couple give theirs. I star 69 the call, but turned out both were wanting casual encounters. The other convos have just fizzled out. I've met five guys in person. There was the one that touched my thigh under the table, the 1 who told me I'd be hot if I lost weight, the 1 who practically begged me for sex that night, saying it could turn into more, the man who forgot to take off his wedding ring, and Mr No Chemistry. If Mr. Good Enough did come around don't even know if I could trust him. I've become quite jaded Link to post Share on other sites
TigerLilly78 Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 What tampon should I use Baller25? I am sure you know best. lmfao....indeed 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Haha I complete disagree. Also the original rule is 2-3 days, I make it 5 days maybe a week. Also us 'gentlemen' choose to ignore some advice from women only after it proves to be wrong. All women expect the guy to contact them within a day or two if they want to play the 'I'm not desperate' game. If you think that guys should call in 48 hours then why aren't you dating that nice guy loser that doesn't keep you on your toes? Waiting 5-7 days is unexpected. I know that women love the element of surprise and unpredictability. It's also a great way to see if the girl is into you (yes one 30-minute starbucks meet up is enough). Sure she might might up with other guys, but she'll always be thinking of the guy that hasn't called yet. Think before you call things dumb Wow, this is contrary to EVERY experience I have had. EVERY woman I've dated loved and WANTED to be contacted within 24-hours. Maybe it's b/c I've only dated "mature" women. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Found your profile. Pics are terrible kid. One with shades, one blurry, one with your phone blocking most of your face, and all pretty bad selfies. Get a friend to snap some pics, or learn how to take a good selfie that doesn't include your phone. Cropping and that Front-facing camera does wonders. The write up needs work. You mention contacting you if they wanna know more twice. Delete. Take out the "BS or games". It won't help your cause. It reads like thousands of other profiles. What makes you stand out? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Found your profile. Pics are terrible kid. One with shades, one blurry, one with your phone blocking most of your face, and all pretty bad selfies. Get a friend to snap some pics, or learn how to take a good selfie that doesn't include your phone. Cropping and that Front-facing camera does wonders. The write up needs work. You mention contacting you if they wanna know more twice. Delete. Take out the "BS or games". It won't help your cause. It reads like thousands of other profiles. What makes you stand out? Oh, agree. The shades need to go. The shirt hanging down so far, with the tie? Whassup with that? Key to a selfie, don't block your own face! And in two of them, you're looking at the phone. You gotta look in a mirror, at yourself, and take the shot from the side. But is it really that difficult to get someone else to take a couple shots for you? How about a close up of your face? Relatively close, we don't need to see your pores. Pics are everything. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 I always find it very hard to believe that when people have the cell phone over the face that oh they just didnt notice, righttttt :-S It screams lack of confidence aka hiding and that they hope people fall for the person inside and looks can come after, and that does happen in life....it does! But on sites like POF people's #1 impression unfortunately is if they can picture dating someone like you in your photo's. Link to post Share on other sites
Lipitor11 Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 There's nothing wrong with you. Online dating is the problem here. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 I don't know when I was actively using POF years ago all I got was sarcastic weird messages from jaded angry men all cause I said I wanted to start off as friends I left that place never went back..chalked it up to it must be a pure hook up site.. Well, that is one of the biggest turn-offs that a woman can write on a profile. Do you know how many threads there are on this and other forums, blogs, advice sites and even movies, about guys who have been "friend zoned"? Do you know how difficult and awkward it is for a guy to get out of the friend zone once he is put in there? It's every guy's worst nightmare on a dating site. And here you are, stating up-front that this is exactly what you're intending to do to us. I am not surprised that your online dating experience has been a failure if you write that in your profile. I was looking for a serious relationship but that phrase would have immediately caused me to "NEXT" you. Like I've said many times in this thread and others, OLD is all about your photos and your profile. If they aren't both great then you will fail, and most likely become bitter, jaded and blame the site for your failure. POF gives you a big blank box to fill as you wish. Your success or failure is entirely up to YOU. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 There's nothing wrong with you. Online dating is the problem here. OLD alone is not the problem. This is clear as MANY people have and continue to date successfully from OLD. Frustrating for certain. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 I'm not buying the whole " push for number / meeting asap. " That's just seems like it would be interpreted as creepy, weird, and kind of desperate. I agree, people have different paces and some like to get an idea of character before passing on their number or meeting. It's not easy to do that in 4 to 5 messages. In fact, in cases when guys have pressed for a number too soon, or indicated that they don't want to spend time chatting (as if it's a waste of time unless we are getting to the sex straightaway), then I just drop them. I find it too controlling. Link to post Share on other sites
TXGuy Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Why do you know better what women want when you're not a woman? lol You hear from the mouth of women themselves it's too long, yet you still think you know better than women!! What tampon should I use Baller25? I am sure you know best. While I don't agree on this specific five day tactic, I'll defend Baller's rational. He is relying on what works for him (with the ladies). I will rely on what works for me all day before I rely on what a woman tells me will work, even if I respected that woman's opinion. Sometimes what women think or say doesn't always align with what happens in practice. Another possibility is baller has a suite of personality quirks that is attractive to a certain niche of women. And ideally, that niche is enough to keep him well supplied with prospects. Since men are expected to do all the work, they get to set the pace and strategy. Nothing works on 100% of women, but if you find something that works better than other strategies, stick with it. Good for him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mickleb Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Yup. Your photos are not good for the reasons already given. If I see a guy wearing sunglasses in his profile pic, I presume his eyes are ugly. Jus' sayn. Also do not write 'Surprise me' under the first date section! Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 (edited) 2 days, 5 days, you call, I call, WTF?! Is anyone else tired of the ridiculous and childish game-playing that seems to go hand in hand with dating these days? Ugh! Seriously, if you like someone and want to see them again, just do what feels right for YOU and be damned with all the f*cking "rules" already. And as for POF, it was one of the worst places I experienced for OLD. There are better ones, MUCH better. Edited June 26, 2014 by Michelle ma Belle Link to post Share on other sites
Targetlock Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 I regularly use POF and all i get is pain, frustration and disappointment i can't seem to figure out what i'm doing wrong, i guess i just don't look good enough or have good enough photos to get interest no matter how nice or personal i write my messages i get nothing, a few times i thought i was getting somewhere it turned to nothing, i did one date which turned out to be strange affair indeed. Link to post Share on other sites
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