My wife cheated, we are back together. But how can we move on from the past?

[revelations]

Well SH that is the thing, you are going to have a lot of moments where the hurt will surface. Everyone has had feelings of jealousy, anger, fear, feeling less than, unloved and that is the problem with infidelity, it justifies all of these feelings and more. Even if you have the best WW ever, you can never look back on your marriage and say that she always loved you or respected you. The marriage is forever tainted that she did choose and want someone over you. If your WW is now remaining faithful to you and helping you to recover you will find that her affair will haunt you for years. Eventually you will move past it as the years go by and not think of it everyday. However is what you have really done is learn how to live with the fact that your always second best or second choice for your WW.

 

Personally I think that separations can be helpful if it is done the right way and the right conditions exist. In a case of a ONS or a very short term affair such as a couple of months that separation can be helpful as long as both parties are not using that time to see others. With a long term affair like what your WW had then separation usually does not work. The major problem is that the WS is not seeing the damage that they have caused. Now yes I know both cases that same statement rings true, however the difference with the long term is that the WS has a backup, they are not in fear of loosing everything like the WS who had a ONS or short term affair. A WS that has had a long term affair needs to be told to either be all in or get out now.

 

Truthfully I always write from the perspective that the WS or in your case SH your WW is always all in for staying with the BH. The truth is that most WW are not all in for staying with the BH. Yes they may stay with the BH if he is upset and moping around a bit for a while. However if the BH is upset or depressed too often they will cut and run. Usually in a long term affair the WW is not just getting laid, they have fallen in love with the OM. During the time of the affair they loose respect for you as a BH, they wonder why you had not caught on to their lies. Even when the WW says that she is done and is sorry they have still lost respect for you, that is for missing the signs and for even staying with them. This is why I always say that any WS needs to pay a very high price in order to stay with the BS. If not they will repeat the action or at the very least treat the BS like crap. Things like trust and respect are not given they are earned and in the case of a WS re-earning these things needs to come at a very high price.

 

Another thing you need to do is to look at things from your WW's perspective. Question your WW and ask her if she would be as forgiving if you had a two year affair. Ask her if she would be forgiving if you were banging her sister or best friend. Some WW would understand if you wanted to just have another woman for a night, however that understanding stops if it is her sister you want to bang. Chances are that your WW would not be as understanding or forgiving in such cases. You may want to gain the perspective on why she want to stay with you. After all for two years you were not good enough to remain faithful to, so what has change and why are you worth it now? How does she view the OM now and why are you her better choice. What does the OM lack that you have? If the OM lacked these qualities then why was she with him for so long? How did your WW feel about herself every time she came back home to you after being with the OM? Did her pillow talk with the OM include listing your shortcomings? Did she take joy in being the second guy she was with that day? These are just some of the things you may want to gain the perspective that your WW has.

 

Most all of the time I will tell anyone to cut and run, it is simply not worth it to stay with a WS. For some reason I have noticed that a BW is able to recover and in the long run stay with a WH. However with a BH this is not usually the case, I feel the main problem is that the WW cannot unbang the OM. For myself I ultimately had to ask myself "is my WW worth going through the pain to stay with her". With that question it lead me to another, "would my WW feel that I am worth it". Then this lead to "how can she feel that I am worth it if she was willing to cause me this pain anyway". However in my case my WW looked at me like I was a puppy that was jealous for bit. By this point she no longer viewed me as another human, just someone that gives her money and ruins her fun times. The truth is that thanks to current laws (at least here in the states) men are nothing more than a disposable utility or walking ATM to women. Men are simply thrown aside when they become too much trouble being upset about the affairs that she is having or not being able to give her enough.

 

If you have ever read anything that I have wrote on here you should see that I almost always tell a person to look within for happiness or fault. Happiness it is always true that you should look within yourself for this. However with fault this is not always the case. Let's face it sometimes other people are just cruel and mean, so how can it be your fault? What your WW did was cruel and mean, you did not deserve that, so again it is not your fault. So of course the next thing is that you have to ask is if you should forgive them. Yes of course you should forgive them, mainly for yourself, you do not want that to poison you. However forgiving your WW does not mean that you have to stay with her. If you invited your neighbor into your house and he steels a hundred dollar bill off your table you can forgive this even if he is unable to pay you back. However just because you forgive your neighbor does not mean you have to invite him over again and leave another hundred dollar bill on the table. Heck it does not even mean that you have to let him back into your house. The reason is because the person doing the forgiving is under no obligation to prove that they have forgiven.

 

This is why I have adapted a new way of living and changed my perspective on women. No longer do I view them as being the helpless victims, I now know that they can be ruthless predators. I have respect for the power that they have, because that power they have is backed by the state. I keep myself single free and happy, avoiding long term commitments with women. I know that any woman I am with that I am not Mr. Right for her, I am just Mr. Right Now. Anytime I look back on my life and see the sad times they always have a woman connected with it. I will also say that every time this sadness I have felt was the result of something that was manufactured at the hands of a woman. I will explain what I mean by that. Take cheating for instance, well my WW manufactured that sadness and all the other bad feelings for my by cheating. When she was doing this I had no idea she was cheating so I was happy and enjoying life. So if she had not been cheating I would have never became an unhappily married man. Bottom line is that for me, by removing women from being paramount in my life, I opened up new doors for myself. I wanted to be happy and have the freedom to be happy. If my happiness is centered around a woman being faithful to me then I have given up my freedom. Sure I can be with another woman and ask her to be faithful to me. However their is no way I can control the outcome of her being faithful. So then I have to ask myself, is the fleeting enjoyment of being with a woman worth the heartbreak and financial ruin that I could suffer? To me the answer is no, any woman is not worth this. I find far more enjoyment in life being single than to risk it again on another woman.

[drifter777]

This is why I have adapted a new way of living and changed my perspective on women. No longer do I view them as being the helpless victims, I now know that they can be ruthless predators. I have respect for the power that they have, because that power they have is backed by the state. I keep myself single free and happy, avoiding long term commitments with women. I know that any woman I am with that I am not Mr. Right for her, I am just Mr. Right Now. Anytime I look back on my life and see the sad times they always have a woman connected with it.

I believe all of this as well and have for many years - ever since my wife cheated on me. Like OP, I decide to leave and intended to never return. Unlike OP I left on D-day because my WW told me to leave so she could have OM move in with her. Easy for me to leave under these circumstances. Also like OP, after a few weeks I let her talk me into coming back because she realized how much she "loved" me. And I caved in and came back home to try and make it work. For me it was the worst mistake of my life and this is what I want OP to understand. A woman - especially one you have loved for years - can manipulate you quite easily. She is so sorry and she cries while begging you to give her another chance. Men cave so easily to tears. She wants sex so she can feel closer to you. Men cave so easily to sex. Point is there will come a time when you will realize the insidious nature of this manipulation. I don't think my WW or yours are consciously intending to manipulate you - they are just doing what come naturally. She knows how to charm you and what buttons to push. There may come a time when you resent that she baited you into coming back with her and, worse yet, you will hate yourself for giving in to her manipulation.

 

Your idea of a separation was inspired by your character and the inner strength that told you "just get away from her influence and think about how YOU want to proceed". It was the right thing to do. I think you should have been by yourself for at least a month or so, but your inner self would know when or if it was time to go back and work on the marriage --- or not.

 

If deep down in your gut you know you should get away from her manipulation and take time to think and feel on your own then know it is not too late. Your still in the early stages of this and your world has been turned upside down so you get to change your mind for the sake of your own sanity. I agree with those who urge IC as you need someone to help you sort all this out. Just remember to trust your gut and take care of yourself first. She's not going to do anything for you that doesn't directly help either her conscience (as you believe) or a frightened desire to keep you as husband while she pursues sex with other men.

[StrongHusband]

Thanks for your posts, revelations and drifter. Looks like both of you have given up on women already. I cannot blame you those and I understand since I know the pain it has caused us.

 

Right now, my WW and I are still working on our marriage and starting a new relationship because the old one we had did not work. Like both of you have said, it might not work out. But I am still hopeful that it will.

 

Although I thank both of you for sharing your thoughts. It gave me another perspective to protect myself during this stage of our R. As much as I would like to build a new relationship with my wife and make it work, it is still a possibility that it may not work. I do not know what the future will bring, but I am prepared to what it will give me no matter what.

 

I am willing to take the risk for us, since my WW showed me enough of what I needed to see from her. Her efforts, her commitment for me. She may not have loved me during her affair, but she did leave the OM for me without me even asking for her to do it. That has to mean something. I don't know what it is right now. It may mean she still loves me and she was just confused that time; or it totally means nothing. Let's just wait, I still have faith in us.

[revelations]

SH,

 

I will admit that I do have a bit of a dim look on relationships. For myself staying out of them is the right thing to do. However to any man in one or staying with a cheating wife I always encourage them to C.Y.A. (Cover Your Assets). Truthfully the path I take is not for everyone. I have always been a loner blazing my own trail. I have always been more happy being on my own or in the company of a few close friends. Going a week without human contact is a relaxing week for me.

 

Truthfully if I was in your shoes SH, I would have been long gone. However you would understand why (actually you probably do) if you were talking with me for about five minutes. For you this is not the case, you are staying with your WW. This is why I encourage you to protect yourself so that you are not totally destroyed later on in a divorce. You may never divorce, however wouldn't it be better to have a plan for it? What you are doing is something that I would never be able to do simply because of my perspectives. The truth is that perspectives do not make either one of us right or wrong, it is just a different viewpoint. I do hope that things work out as you want them to. However i feel that I would be being dishonest with you if I did not tell you and encourage you to C.Y.A.

[revelations]

I believe all of this as well and have for many years - ever since my wife cheated on me. Like OP, I decide to leave and intended to never return. Unlike OP I left on D-day because my WW told me to leave so she could have OM move in with her. Easy for me to leave under these circumstances. Also like OP, after a few weeks I let her talk me into coming back because she realized how much she "loved" me. And I caved in and came back home to try and make it work. For me it was the worst mistake of my life and this is what I want OP to understand. A woman - especially one you have loved for years - can manipulate you quite easily. She is so sorry and she cries while begging you to give her another chance. Men cave so easily to tears. She wants sex so she can feel closer to you. Men cave so easily to sex. Point is there will come a time when you will realize the insidious nature of this manipulation. I don't think my WW or yours are consciously intending to manipulate you - they are just doing what come naturally. She knows how to charm you and what buttons to push. There may come a time when you resent that she baited you into coming back with her and, worse yet, you will hate yourself for giving in to her manipulation.

 

Your idea of a separation was inspired by your character and the inner strength that told you "just get away from her influence and think about how YOU want to proceed". It was the right thing to do. I think you should have been by yourself for at least a month or so, but your inner self would know when or if it was time to go back and work on the marriage --- or not.

 

If deep down in your gut you know you should get away from her manipulation and take time to think and feel on your own then know it is not too late. Your still in the early stages of this and your world has been turned upside down so you get to change your mind for the sake of your own sanity. I agree with those who urge IC as you need someone to help you sort all this out. Just remember to trust your gut and take care of yourself first. She's not going to do anything for you that doesn't directly help either her conscience (as you believe) or a frightened desire to keep you as husband while she pursues sex with other men.

 

Drifter777,

So often times I read your posts and agree with you. I believe we think similar on a lot of matters about relationships. It does seem to me that we get a similar message across just using different styles. Thankfully in my case I was able to leave with little trouble. The thing is that my education about relationships with women have been lifelong. Like anyone I had seen small things here and there that I felt were unfair or illogical. However like most I wrote this off as life being unfair. It was later on during my 20's and then in my late thirties that I figured out that it was not a case of life being unfair. The rules were their to prevent men from enjoying a free life and shift their wealth to others. In most cases (not all) once a woman is married she is free to do what she wants and it is her husband that will pay the price for it. For me, understanding how this plays out in a family court was a key motivator in staying out of a relationship with them. Later on learning about domestic violence laws encouraged me to not just take a no marriage stance, also to take a do not live with them or let them into my house stance.

 

My views my seem kind of mean or bitter towards women. I don't hate women, that is not the case with me. My trouble is that I have a hard time figuring out how far that woman will go that hates me. So I do not take chances on something like this. Now I know that most will say "What does he have to worry about if he does not hit women" or they may say something similar to this. The truth is that I am a pretty big guy and cops always assume that I am the violent one. To this day if I am pulled over for a broken tail light I am handcuffed and placed in the back seat of the squad car. For me that is bad enough, I don't need the trouble and I don't want the trouble. As you can tell I always inspect the lights and such on my car before I leave my home for even the shortest of trips. A DV call to my place (even if I have done nothing) would most likely result in me spending a night in jail. This is something that is not worth the risk to me. So I am sure that you Drifter777 understand my reasons is not so much protection from heartbreak, but protection from arrest and being gutted financially in court. That is why in most of my posts you have probably noticed that I encourage men to protect themselves and not fall for the tears and sex.

[fellini]

 

I am willing to take the risk for us, since my WW showed me enough of what I needed to see from her. Her efforts, her commitment for me. She may not have loved me during her affair, but she did leave the OM for me without me even asking for her to do it. That has to mean something. I don't know what it is right now. It may mean she still loves me and she was just confused that time; or it totally means nothing. Let's just wait, I still have faith in us.

 

Yes, it does mean something. If only my WS had reached that point. Even when she left him, I quickly began to understand that she was merely rescuing the other part of her two relationships that she was not ready to loose. She panicked and her reasons for dropping AP were false, but when you are in DDAy, and you ask and they tell you what you want to hear...

 

So yes, I think it means a lot, if only for your sanity. You do not know how often I ask myself the impossible question to answer: Is she with me for the wrong reasons?

 

For you, it means you can do exactly what you are doing: looking at the new relationship for what it is, without having to second guess what it means in terms of the past. That's a huge weight off.

 

Good luck with everything SH, Im going to take a summer vacation from LS any hour now ;-)

[SmartDude]

I'm going to give you the best advice on this thread. Since it looks like you are not willing to make sure there are consequences to her actions, the next option is to look into acceptance of being the husband of a women who cheats. Honestly, there's a whole subculture of being a cuckold. That's ok, some men realize their wives are free spirits and encourage them to be so and thats their choice.

 

Your journey now isn't about accepting her 2 years worth of lies; it's about accepting that your partner is going to have relationships with other people.

 

Uh oh you asked for a cuckold, but now you got one right here:cool:

So yea I am one of those weird guys who gets pleasure out of seeing my significant other having sex with men.

 

I don't have the vibe that this is going on with the OP though, maybe im wrong.

 

Perhaps she will just not be able to confine her self sexually to a marriage? Don't blame her though, some people are just born that way. Its not "cheating" to people like that. They are not playing by the same rules, and it is not even the same game.

[mikethemechanic]

Uh oh you asked for a cuckold, but now you got one right here:cool:

So yea I am one of those weird guys who gets pleasure out of seeing my significant other having sex with men.

 

I don't have the vibe that this is going on with the OP though, maybe im wrong.

 

Perhaps she will just not be able to confine her self sexually to a marriage? Don't blame her though, some people are just born that way. Its not "cheating" to people like that. They are not playing by the same rules, and it is not even the same game.

Thanx smartdude for weighing in here it's always good to have an expert weigh in here. Agreed this isn't a case of cuckholdery but a case of infidelity.

[thefilmguy24]

Bro I know exactly how you feel. I was in the similar situation with a difference…I didn't have 100% proof that my girlfriend cheated on me. All I had was some Facebook messages that I had to get translated(she's Filipina) and I was told that they were meeting in the Philippines when she planned a vacation with her mother to visit some family. This was last summer, June 2013. I'm still with her because I do love her and we do have a 2 1/2 year old daughter together.

 

The pain will subside, I promise you. I didn't talk with a counsoler or anything. I pretty much swept it under the rug, but I did have a talk with her about her "talking" to other guys and made her see my perspective on how she would feel if I did the same thing. I know she wouldn't like it since her ex-husband cheated on her multiple times.

 

My advice and I know it's easier said than done, but try not to think about it and keep your mind busy with other things. Otherwise you may need to seek some professional help with a counselor and like what others have said, make her pay for the sessions since she is the one that messed up royally. Hope everything works out for the best bro. Good luck

Edited July 11, 2014 by thefilmguy24
forgot to add something

[StrongHusband]

thanks thefilmguy...

 

i am actually feeling the pain subsiding now. whenever the thoughts of the cheating are coming back, i can take it now. i feel sad, but it no longer lingers for hours.

 

i think im on the right path and starting to feel lighter already. hopefully in a year, we can get though this.

[thefilmguy24]

I was wondering if I could send you a PM cuz I have a question for you and need some advice. Let me know. Thanks

[Serifina]

Sorry this has happened to you. My husbands affair happened 2 years ago, and I still find myself not trusting, looking over my shoulder and always thinking about him cheating. He won't do marriage counseling, so I am in individual counseling to deal with my own issues, and my feelings about his affair.

 

 

I am trying to forgive, but as they say, two steps forward and one step back, its a long hard road, I don't think there is a time table for healing, everyone has their own ways to go about things. I hope you find the peace you need.

[Bryanp]

I am very sorry for you and you are indeed the strong one.

I just do not understand why you would wish to be with someone who

has unprotected sex with another man for 2 years and giving you an STD?

She has so little respect for you and your marriage that she didn't even bother to use protection. You know that there had to be instances that she was with you right after she had been with him. This shows such a monumental lack of respect for you and your marriage. If you do not respect yourself then who will?

 

I wonder if the roles were reversed and you humiliated her and gave her an STD after having a sexual affair for 2 years behind her back if she would be so accepting and forgiving as you have been? Nevertheless I wish you luck.

[bigman1]

Op, As you look at this whole issue,please put things in perspective. Realistically, you could be HIV positive based on her actions. She got and gave you a STI. I doubt OM was symptom free or that she was unnaware that something was wrong.

 

I met a woman who got HIV from her cheating ex husband. That was not the first sti that he gave her. As she put it, he played Russian roulette with her life and she was stupid enough to keep loving him and trying to work it out after she got grazed by the first bullet. I hope that you think your wife is worth it, because your choice really may be a life or death decision.

[StrongHusband]

I was wondering if I could send you a PM cuz I have a question for you and need some advice. Let me know. Thanks

 

i dont know but i cannot send you a pm either.

 

as much as i would like to help, i do not think i am in the right position to give you advise. it is like a blind man helping another blind man as we are both going through this same situation at the same time.

 

all i can say is, be strong. if you have considered all consequences, all logic, all feelings, all elements of her, you, and your relationship... and still decided to stay, then trust your decision.

 

there will be days that it will be painful, happy, then painful again and never knowing when it will stop... but hang in there. if you still see hope and she still see hope (it is important that she sees it too and takes responsibility for it), then only time can make the pain go away. you can help yourself by focusing on what is ahead of you. that's what i am doing right now, and now the pain is more bearable... still there, but more bearable.

[StrongHusband]

just so to clear everything else...

 

my WW and i both got tested for STDs and both the tests turned out negative. we did it with her paying for both tests and her willing to go through it.

[bigman1]

SH, I understood that you took STD tests and everything was fine after the issue from your first post. I'm just pointing out that you were lucky. The question for me would be do you think the risk is worth continuing? I don't advocate divorce or reconciliation for the most part. That is an individual decision. I do render a position on how smart that choice is.

[StrongHusband]

Thank you for your concern. I know my decision is difficult to understand specially if you are not the one that has to make it. I dont expect everyone to get it.

 

I am not a very forgiving person either. I just saw something different with my WW after D day that gave us hope. Until now I see it in her. I feel it in her efforts, her transparency, her caring. Suddenly I feel she was a different person. That is why I do not regret giving her a chance. Not all people can change, but if I see somesone changing for the benefit of the marriage, yourself, herself, and fir both of you... it makes sense for me to stay and give it another go.

 

Besides, she already ended her affair with the OM. So unlike the ex husband of the woman you met, my WW stopped playing Russian Roulette already. If her affair is still in tact, then she will be long gone and I would have let her go. That is not the case right now, so I am choosing to stay. We are choosing to stay.

 

I dont know how smart that decision is because I dont know what the future will bring us. It may work out or it may not. But with the signs she is giving, it is worth the risk.

Edited July 16, 2014 by StrongHusband

[aliveagain]

This is your life and only you can decide what's best for you. What makes you believe her now? She brought another man into your marriage for almost half of it, you believed her than too, you didn't have a clue. They say the second affair is easier to do because they have already fought their demons and we know who won. At least have her agree to a post nuptial agreement properly prepared by a lawyer for your piece of mind. Her word hasn't meant too much in the past, you and your child weren't enough to keep her faithful, perhaps a financial consequence will.

Edited July 16, 2014 by aliveagain

[StrongHusband]

We are already working on a postnuptial agreement with the help of my cousin who is a lawyer. Of course I will have her pay for any expenses on this.

 

I know her words are not that reliable in the past, but that is all in the past. I see the change in her now. And that is what second chances is all about. The postnuptial agreement is just to protect me from what the future might bring. Thats why I do not bring it up. Because it is already in process.

Edited July 16, 2014 by StrongHusband

[aliveagain]

We are already working on a postnuptial agreement with the help of my cousin who is a lawyer. Of course I will have her pay for any expenses on this.

 

I know her words are not that reliable in the past, but that is all in the past. I see the change in her now. And that is what second chances is all about. The postnuptial agreement is just to protect me from what the future might bring. Thats why I do not bring it up. Because it is already in process.

 

 

This is new information and necessary but that's just my opinion. Glad to hear she is willing to do this for you, that means a lot.

[Bryanp]

I am sorry but post nuptial agreements are much much harder to enforce and not be declared invalid by the courts. This is from a New York Times article:

 

 

IN BRIEF; Appeals Court Overturns 'Post-Nuptial' Agreement

 

By KIRSTY SUCATO

 

 

The state Appeals Court threw out the so-called post-nuptial agreement -- an agreement made in mid-marriage about dividing property in case of divorce -- of a West Paterson couple last week, ruling that the husband improperly coerced his wife to sign the papers by threatening to leave the marriage.

 

The court said such agreements are subject to pressures of coercion and must be ''fair and just'' both at the time of signing and at the time of divorce, unlike prenuptial agreements, which can be overturned only if they are found ''unconscionable.''

 

The ruling overturned the couple's 1997 divorce settlement in which Mrs. Pacelli received $500,000 and half the value of a home in Florida. Her husband, Antonio Pacelli, had $11 million in assets when he filed for divorce in 1994, Toby Solomon, his wife's lawyer, said. She said Mrs. Pacelli signed the agreement after her husband began sleeping in the garage and threatened to end the marriage.

 

Mr. Pacelli's lawyer, Jeffrey P. Weinstein, said he would appeal the ruling to the state Supreme Court. KIRSTY SUCATO

[StrongHusband]

I'm back. And wow, I never thought this thread will be about post-nuptial agreements, STD tests, DNA tests, etc. Although it is related somehow, I realized that what I am feeling before is not about those things. Having a post-nuptial agreement, being negative in STD tests, and confirming our daughter is mine via DNA test will not help me move on from the past. Yes I did all those.

 

I realized that only time can heal what happened to me, to us. I have to give time to both myself and also my WW to heal. I need to heal because I was hurt and I need time to realize what I really want. My WW also needs time to heal, because if she realized that what she have done is a mistake, she would feel guilt and hurt as well. She needs time to recover from this also.

 

But what helped me go through this is to forget about the hate. It is easy to hate her for what she has done and to blame her for all of this. But when I do that, it only make matters worse and it did not help build our relationship. It is difficult to forget about what she has done and I think I won't be able to forget it. What I can do though is to change my focus to other things.

 

So instead of focusing on what happened, I focused on other things that will help me.

 

I focused on what I want, and believe mo or not, I still want her as my wife.

 

I focused on the good things she has done, and I slowly realized that yeah, she is not a bad wife after all... even when she had another guy.

 

I focused on my friends, and I realized that many of my friends also had this problem and they did not tell me about it until I talked to them. I am not alone after all.

 

I focused on the things that made us happy. The time when we started our dating, being married, having a child.. etc.

 

It helped a lot focusing on positive things, but it is not easy to focus on the good things when something bad happen;However, that should not mean that we cannot and we should not. It helped me realize a lot of things and see this event at on a bigger perspective.

 

My wife is just human, and like me and everyone else, she is not perfect. All of us make mistakes.

 

Right now, we are okay. I still remember it sometimes, but the pain is less now. I am focusing on our future now, on what we can become after what happened.

 

Like I said before, I cannot guarantee that it will not happen again. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. I do not know. What I know now is that I am happy and whatever he have in the future, we are looking forward to it. Hopefully 20 years from now, when we look at what happened, it is just 2 bad years of our life.

 

The idea is promising, but I cannot be open to that idea if I let myself be blinded with hate. I know there are others out there who have a similar experience to me. I hope that during these dark days, I provided you some light.

[jbrent890]

Did she ever give you a reason as to why she cheated?

[Man Mountain Makino]

You're a better man than I am. I wouldn't invest the time and energy into repairing this, especially after chronic and repeated cuckolding over an extended period of time. I couldn't get past that she lied every day, likely a few times a day, to cover for her relationship with her boyfriend.

 

I'd let him have her without resistance.

 

Good luck.