! Lost all dignity and self respect

[BC1980]

Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue

 

Try this blog. It helps infuse logic into many situations. It helped me a lot because it's written by a woman who has gone through all of this.

[requin]

Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue

 

Try this blog. It helps infuse logic into many situations. It helped me a lot because it's written by a woman who has gone through all of this.

 

Great advice, baggage reclaim is excellent, lots of tough love and common sense. Very helpful.

[requin]

"Wealth of Abundance"

 

 

This free PStec little audio is really good and helped me a lot last night. I was so down I felt like dying. I listened to this audio and felt SO much better.

 

I'm going to listen to it right now as a matter of fact, it's good to hear before bed.

 

take good care HB.

[emotionalMess]

Delete your Facebook account.

 

Facebook allows you to download all of your stuff so if you ever want to re-establish a Facebook account, you can just upload it.

 

I was in the same position as you. I did not want to remove the communication path just in case she had a change of heart one day and needed to talk. That was not going to happen. Instead I kept giving into the urge to just check and over and over and kept putting myself where you are now - square one.

 

The day I deleted my Facebook account, I felt liberated. I felt like I had somehow taken power back for myself. The urge to check on her was no more and the healing began to accelerate.

 

You can do this. You can send a message to all your facebook friends (except the ex) telling them that you find you are spending too much time on Facebook and are going to take a break from it to focus on other things. You are letting them know ahead so they don't think you are blocking them and you will be in contact in the future. I didn't do this but you can include your email address in case someone needs to contact you with something important. Your friends will understand. Remove the app from your devices or hide it.

 

Up to you but it does feel great.

 

Your a catch and he f**ked up period, this is your attitude now.

[Heartbroken_84]

Delete your Facebook account.

 

Facebook allows you to download all of your stuff so if you ever want to re-establish a Facebook account, you can just upload it.

 

I was in the same position as you. I did not want to remove the communication path just in case she had a change of heart one day and needed to talk. That was not going to happen. Instead I kept giving into the urge to just check and over and over and kept putting myself where you are now - square one.

 

The day I deleted my Facebook account, I felt liberated. I felt like I had somehow taken power back for myself. The urge to check on her was no more and the healing began to accelerate.

 

You can do this. You can send a message to all your facebook friends (except the ex) telling them that you find you are spending too much time on Facebook and are going to take a break from it to focus on other things. You are letting them know ahead so they don't think you are blocking them and you will be in contact in the future. I didn't do this but you can include your email address in case someone needs to contact you with something important. Your friends will understand. Remove the app from your devices or hide it.

 

Up to you but it does feel great.

 

Your a catch and he f**ked up period, this is your attitude now.

 

Hey EM, I blocked him on facebook and deleted all his friends so that should hopefully help me. I don't want to deactivate my account because I have friends I chat to on facebook that I wouldnt really txt but that I want to keep in touch with!

 

Thanks, I am trying to think that it is his loss in my mind because it does help me and I actually do believe it to be true. i have a lot to give and offer and hopefully the next man i meet will appreciate me and love me for who i am.

 

My ex made me feel like I was the one with the problem whenever I was upset and he never took any responsibility for the cause of it.

 

I know that a few people on this thread posted that the 5 days I spent with him was purely just a 'sex romp'. Well I completely disagree. Yes we were intimate but it was nothing like that. I feel like an idiot though because for 3 of those days I stayed at his he went out to work during the day and I stayed in cooked dinner for him, made him apple crumble one night. Eugh I'm such a twat. I tried so hard to please him and get him to love me and in the end it counted for nothing. No matter what I did and how hard I tried, nothing won him over in the end because he checked out a long time ago. I just find it so weird that he was still able to act normal with me (like I was his gf) when i was there, and I had no clue he was just putting it on. I actually thought he was happy, thats y it came as a shock to me when I came home and he said we wernt back together.

 

I feel like I gave him so much love, appreciation, compassion, passion, attention,care and joy. Yes I had my faults but I thought my good qualities outweighed any flaws. I guess thats how I feel though, and he didnt feel the same. It just honestly baffles me. All he had to do was WANT to make the effort to work things out, to try, to make us stronger and more solid as a couple but he DIDNT want to. He wanted out.

 

Sorry for the rant here, I feel like I just needed to express myself.

[Heartbroken_84]

Well, I do remember having nausea, so I am a believer that mental anguish can cause physical problems. I cried a lot during those times, and I broke NC once. That hurt a lot because he seemed like he could have cared less and was living life, having a lot of fun without me. That was the last phone call I made to him because it hurt so much. I knew I couldn't keep subjecting myself to that pain.

 

I would say that journaling or unsent letters helped me the most in times of true anguish, times that I questioned if I could go on. I didn't know if I would get better. I was very scared that I felt as bad as I did because I had never felt like that in my life. It scared the sh*t out of me to be honest.

 

My NC journey was different than yours because I was in LC with my ex for 4 months post breakup. By the time I went NC, I was done with him and the entire thing. There was nothing more to do at that point, so I only broke it once after 3 months. I haven't broken it since, and I have no desire to.

 

Hey BC, thats a good idea about writing in a journal. I will give it a try. It will be 3 weeks on Monday since I last contacted him and it feels like an eternity already. 3 months feels so impossible and scary. Today its the thought that I'l never hear his voice again or hear him laugh which saddens me so much. I keep on thinking of his laugh (it is very distinctive and contagious) eugh I'm not doing myself any favours here am i!!!!? I wish i could block him out of my brain. Like seriously, when does this get easier?? I just wana cry!!

[Heartbroken_84]

"Wealth of Abundance"

 

 

This free PStec little audio is really good and helped me a lot last night. I was so down I felt like dying. I listened to this audio and felt SO much better.

 

I'm going to listen to it right now as a matter of fact, it's good to hear before bed.

 

take good care HB.

 

Thanks requin i will have a listen. I'm feeling down today I was actually okay earlier I met up with one of my good friends who i havent seen in ages,but now I'm back to feeling sad! I miss him, its so annoying!!!

[mtnbiker3000]

A guy in my support group shared an interesting idea he learned from someone else. To actually keep two journals. One called Plan A (or whatever) for journaling everything. Good, bad, sad, anger, mistakes, etc... And another called, you guessed it, Plan B (or whatever) where you take time everyday to record only a positive, or a success. Nothing else...

 

Seemed like a good idea to me

[emotionalMess]

HB84,

 

He is my new attitude going forward.

 

Relationships end. They go one of two ways; with marriage or breakup.

 

Since I don't plan to get married any time soon, I am better prepared mentally today to face breakups.

In fact, I expect breakups to happen. Not sure but with this new attitude it seems I am more likely going to be the dumper in the future.

At minimum, it will be less likely for me to be a blindsided dumpee. Going in, I know what I signed up for so to speak.

 

Since you both are young, the chances at marriage would have been kind of slim.

So if you went into this relationship with this attitude, would you have approached it differently?

Sort of put your heart in reserve until you were 100% sure he was the one you would marry?

Edited July 5, 2014 by emotionalMess

[Heartbroken_84]

HB84,

 

He is my new attitude going forward.

 

Relationships end. They go one of two ways; with marriage or breakup.

 

Since I don't plan to get married any time soon, I am better prepared mentally today to face breakups.

In fact, I expect breakups to happen. Not sure but with this new attitude it seems I am more likely going to be the dumper in the future.

At minimum, it will be less likely for me to be a blindsided dumpee. Going in, I know what I signed up for so to speak.

 

Since you both are young, the chances at marriage would have been kind of slim.

So if you went into this relationship with this attitude, would you have approached it differently?

Sort of put your heart in reserve until you were 100% sure he was the one you would marry?

 

Despite our ups and downs I saw myself being with him long term. I didnt see myself being with anyone else and I still dont. It breaks my heart thinking I am not going to spend my life and future with him. I wasnt looking for marriage any time soon but I wanted to be in a long term relationship with him.

 

I miss him so much EM, I feel like I'm in physical pain just now. I'm desperate to contact him. I wont do it I just miss him so much that the urge to contact him is so strong right now. I know I wont do it though. I just feel so sad right now, I dont think Ive ever missed him as much as I do tonight.

[emotionalMess]

Stay strong tonight!

[requin]

hb, i feel like you do today. i got out and went to a small party today, w/ some friends who wanted me to go. it felt nice to be wanted and loved by some ppl for a change but as soon as i got in my car alone and drove home i was a mess again.

 

i cried most of the way home.

 

i know how you feel about wanting to go to him, I want more than anything to go to my guy and beg, cry, plead, anything. I know it wouldn't work...why do we know that won't work but want to do it anyway?? I want to do that so bad. But he's not even home, he's in VT. And I won't do anything like that. I'm on day 7 of NC, longest I have gone since our breakup, and I cannot blow it now.

 

i'm twice your age and too old and tired to go looking for another available man who i could love anywhere near as much as i love this one, things were not supposed to end like this...I can't go months or years feeling this pain and loss.

 

i'm going to do some PSTec and see if that helps, for now.

[tlee007]

Wow that was like a knife through the heart KatZee! Maybe thats a good thing though! I dont think he stayed with me out of pity though I would have to disagree with you there becasue he introduced me to his family etc a few months after that so i do believe he was happy, up until the last 2 months and we were under a huge amount of stress with uni.

 

Anyway point is you are right about letting him go and why would I want to be with someone that doesnt love me back and is willing to let me go. I think you made another valid point about how his views and feelings about relationship were different to mine and I cant change that.

 

No matter how crazy I acted i think in time he will remember me as the person he fell in love with and not my crazy reaction at the end.

 

I know what she said cut me like a knife too. I actually think it was the last 13 months for me tho. the longer it dragged on the more pathetic I became. its been a month and I'm still in deep despair

[tlee007]

Im feeling the exact thing. even worse I have his password to fb. he asked a girl out thru her sister. neither have responded thru fb.

[Heartbroken_84]

Hey guys, I know you are all probably sick of reading my posts lol but i just wanted to share something I feel quite good about. I admitted that i unblocked my ex a few weeks a go but then I blocked him again on Facebook the other day and I have kept it that way. I also blocked him on whatsapp, and viber etc today as I had unblocked him on that too. I know it sounds pathetic but I feel in control now because I know that even if I ever have the urge to contact him, I wont.

 

I dont think I was ready to do it back then, hence y I unblocked him. But I feel ready now and feel good about my decision to move forward and block him out of my life completely. Initially I felt so guilty and spiteful but now I dont give 2 ****s. Excuse my language, but i have realised that he is the one that wanted to remove me out of his life so desperately, so I am taking ownership of my own self-worth now and removing him from mine. Yes I feel sad but i also feel great in a strange way! I feel more empowered and stronger, its weird. It definitely was the right thing to do and I realise now how important doing that was in order to help me heal now.

 

Thanks guys for your continuous support. I'm sure I will obviously still have bad days but today has been the first day where I have felt better!

[Heartbroken_84]

hb, i feel like you do today. i got out and went to a small party today, w/ some friends who wanted me to go. it felt nice to be wanted and loved by some ppl for a change but as soon as i got in my car alone and drove home i was a mess again.

 

i cried most of the way home.

 

i know how you feel about wanting to go to him, I want more than anything to go to my guy and beg, cry, plead, anything. I know it wouldn't work...why do we know that won't work but want to do it anyway?? I want to do that so bad. But he's not even home, he's in VT. And I won't do anything like that. I'm on day 7 of NC, longest I have gone since our breakup, and I cannot blow it now.

 

i'm twice your age and too old and tired to go looking for another available man who i could love anywhere near as much as i love this one, things were not supposed to end like this...I can't go months or years feeling this pain and loss.

 

i'm going to do some PSTec and see if that helps, for now.

 

Hey requin, I hope you're feeling better today? I know exactly how u feel. Sometimes when I'm around family or friends I'm fine but then when I'm on my own I burst into tears and feel so sad. It WILL get better I promise u. Today has been the first day in 3 weeks where I have not cried and feel a bit stronger. Those days will come for you too, the longer NC u do the easier I think it will get. Dont get me wrong, I do think the first few months will be up and down and probably the toughest, but we can get through it!!

 

It really doesnt matter what age you are. I know it feels like you're older so theres less chance of u meeting someone but that isnt the case!! Nowadays its so easy to meet someone, especially when you least expect it. And theres so many dating websites now too! Just dont completely write it off, dont put yourself down and think that there is no one else out there for you because I truly believe there is. There are SO many men out there. We will meet someone else who deserves our love and appreciates us and treats us the way we should be.

 

I think that the more time passes, the more irrelevant our ex will become to us (provided you stay NC) It will get better, we just have to have faith and try and stay strong.

[Heartbroken_84]

I know what she said cut me like a knife too. I actually think it was the last 13 months for me tho. the longer it dragged on the more pathetic I became. its been a month and I'm still in deep despair

 

Hey lee, I know its a horrible feeling but you are not alone. I did the same thing. i dragged it out and tried to hold on to something so tight that the more I clung on the more i made MYSELF feel worse in the long run during that relationship.

 

It happens to so many of us, when we love someone we dont want to let go and I'm only starting to realise that it has a lot to do with our own self-esteem and how much we value ourself, because surely when we know someone doesnt love us the way we love them or they dont appreciate us then we would be like' I dont want to be with this person, I'm not getting the love I need and deserve'. However we still cling on for dear life because we think we NEED this person for our own validation. We need to take ownership of that ourselves though. Just because one man doesnt love us or woman, doesnt mean that we are not worthy of love and dont deserve to be loved. It means that that particular person just isnt the one for us. there will be someone that is though! I really hope so anyway!!

[mangetout]

Hey heartbroken,

 

 

As you know I had reconciled with my ex about five weeks ago. We had our first hiccup last week and he ran off. Like he has been doing since he first broke up with me last November.

 

 

Am I upset? I was for one day only....and now I am fine. Very at peace with letting go. I see why its not working. My ex is too emotionally immature. He cannot handle conflict, even if its been mainly his fault for causing them.

 

 

I think your ex is the same? All I can say is that I do not want to be with a man who is going to dump me at the slightest upset we have. That's flakey and you cannot trust a person like that. I actually find him quite pathetic to be honest.

 

 

Just stay strong because eight months ago I was so depressed over him.He was my life. Well I don't thoink that AT ALL!

 

 

Time will emotionally distance yourself from him. Don't be afraid of it because it will make you stronger.

 

 

Look at me. I am shocked at how okay I am this time. And I have no fears being on my own again. Infact I look forward to a new relationship.

[Heartbroken_84]

Hey heartbroken,

 

 

As you know I had reconciled with my ex about five weeks ago. We had our first hiccup last week and he ran off. Like he has been doing since he first broke up with me last November.

 

 

Am I upset? I was for one day only....and now I am fine. Very at peace with letting go. I see why its not working. My ex is too emotionally immature. He cannot handle conflict, even if its been mainly his fault for causing them.

 

 

I think your ex is the same? All I can say is that I do not want to be with a man who is going to dump me at the slightest upset we have. That's flakey and you cannot trust a person like that. I actually find him quite pathetic to be honest.

 

 

Just stay strong because eight months ago I was so depressed over him.He was my life. Well I don't thoink that AT ALL!

 

 

Time will emotionally distance yourself from him. Don't be afraid of it because it will make you stronger.

 

 

Look at me. I am shocked at how okay I am this time. And I have no fears being on my own again. Infact I look forward to a new relationship.

 

Hi mangetout, I am so glad that you are okay. Guys like that are pathetic and yes you're right my ex is exactly the same. Couldn't and can't handle conflict, even the smallest of things. Would always turn it around on me and make me feel so terrible. You are right it is flaky, I was always worried and anxious after an argument, scared he was going to dump me. It's like you're walking on eggshells. It shouldn't be like that, we should feel secure that our man isn't gona run away when things are tough.

 

It's so nice and reassuring to hear that you are doing well, you sound so strong!

 

I have blocked all lines of communication with him so I won't hear from him now. Once he sees that he will get the message and not try and contact me (that is if he ever wanted to) It actually makes me feel in control now and empowered, that I am taking responsibility for my own happiness now. I will not let someone treat me like that, it's not acceptable. I'm not even talking about the break up I'm referring to the way he treated me during the relationship, I didn't deserve it.

 

Thanks for your post, makes me feel stronger!

[miranda_wilson]

Mangetout and Heartbroken,

 

I've also dated a guy who ran when conflict got to him. I think you're both right that it's nothing for you to feel bad about. Now, there is such a thing as excessive bickering, but everyone has a different place as far as where they draw the line. I dated a guy who...we fought once a week...sometimes semi-serious topic (politics, although it wasn't so much that I disagreed with him but that I thought he shouldn't be so dogmatic and see the validity of some aspects of the other side too, which he wouldn't) and sometimes really silly things. In any case, we fought probably once a week (and had contact with each other every day -- meaning, great days too), but even just once a week was too much for him.

 

You can't control what is "too much" for another person...it's their right to consider once a week fighting too much while you don't think it's too much at all. But....if you agreed to work on it with them and they don't want to...that's out of your control.

 

I do think these men could stand to not run from conflict. You're right, some of it is caused or provoked by them, and they can't put it all on you. But...I think you should feel empowered that as long as you were the one who was sincere in wanting to work on it (get the fighting to go down by 50% and then to close to 100% eventually) and they were the ones who said "no, I'm leaving..." -- you just can't feel too bad.

 

You're likely good girlfriends who just had feelings about certain things and didn't bottle them up. There's a saying that if someone can't handle you at your worst, they sure don't deserve you at your best.

 

Heartbroken, glad you're feeling empowered. I too have felt empowered in the past, even when dumped, when I then went No Contact for a long time. I enjoyed not reaching out even on his birthday. I know he may or may not care. But the whole "dump him back" (or her if you're a guy and got dumped) really does have an effect. It may seem like as long as you were the initial one dumped, you'll always feel less, but I think there does come a point, when no contact has lasted long enough, when you actually feel not that bad...you feel like you said "all right then...I tried" and went your way and you feel a lot less "stupid" and "pathetic" about things. In a way, you even seem more mature and good because you know and they know you tried but you also had the strength and self esteem to go on.

 

My life is good even w/o my ex. It was better with him, I'd say...that is, I had more enjoyable nights. I felt romantically fulfilled. But if I'm honest with myself, my life is good anyway. I'm good-looking, physically fit, have a job I like, have lots of friends, have good activities to participate in.

 

This is/can be the case for lots of people. Embrace the good in your life, 'cause there's lots of it.

 

Dumpers get an ego boost initially when you're sad and broken up, but that fades as soon as you start just being normal and happy again. Take back your power by staying away. Get to "want" and not "need" stage. Take them off the pedestal too. I admit I've put my ex on a pedestal at times. But I consciously remind myself that he's good-looking, but so am I. He's got these great qualities, but so do I. And I have to force myself to say that no matter how much I "fantasize" and "imagine" his life to be great right now, it's probably not. It's probably okay. It's probably like mine...good times, but bad times too.

[mangetout]

Hi mangetout, I am so glad that you are okay. Guys like that are pathetic and yes you're right my ex is exactly the same. Couldn't and can't handle conflict, even the smallest of things. Would always turn it around on me and make me feel so terrible. You are right it is flaky, I was always worried and anxious after an argument, scared he was going to dump me. It's like you're walking on eggshells. It shouldn't be like that, we should feel secure that our man isn't gona run away when things are tough.

 

It's so nice and reassuring to hear that you are doing well, you sound so strong!

 

I have blocked all lines of communication with him so I won't hear from him now. Once he sees that he will get the message and not try and contact me (that is if he ever wanted to) It actually makes me feel in control now and empowered, that I am taking responsibility for my own happiness now. I will not let someone treat me like that, it's not acceptable. I'm not even talking about the break up I'm referring to the way he treated me during the relationship, I didn't deserve it.

 

Thanks for your post, makes me feel stronger!

 

 

No you shouldn't be afraid that your man will dump you over the slightest thing. Its not a healthy relationship. We haven't spoken since last Wednesday but I know this time I wont break NC.

 

 

I have no intention of giving him that pleasure.

 

 

Day 5 NC

[mangetout]

And its not going to be hard to go NC this time.

 

 

I feel I have "dumped" him for the first time. My yearning, strong urges to text him, and wishful hoping is gone. I see my ex for who he really is now....a man with a lot of issues.

 

 

No wonder our relationship was doomed from the start. I am so relieved that I have gotten to this point. Its so much more peaceful.

 

 

You will get there too

[requin]

I'm on day 9 of NC and I'm not getting better I'm much worse. I feel I'm going to have a mental breakdown. My hands are shaking, I couldn't sleep last night and I want to cry all the time (but can't, I'm at work). My head hurts.

 

I'm reading about attachment styles and seeing that avoidants and anxious types don't mix and avoidants rarely change enough to make a r'ship work. In my case since my ex already ended our r'ship and is enjoying his "freedom" he is not interested at all in trying to start over w/ the newfound knowledge I have,and can share w/ him, about our attachment styles.

 

I keep hoping he will get to that point (where he'll want to try again, or at the very least, talk about it) but the more I read and the longer I stay NC and he doesn't come around, the more I doubt that will happen. I haven't been NC long at all but man does it feel like forever!!

 

In the meantime I am falling apart because even if he is an avoidant and I am an anxious, in about 85% (or more) our r'ship was excellent and we had so much fun. Maybe we didn't go out long enough for the ***** to really hit the fan, maybe things would have gotten progressively worse..but I do'nt know about that, I only know that what we had was for the most part really good and I still can't stand living w/out him.

 

I've never been this messed up over a r'ship in my life.

[sugarlove]

It's day 14! 2 weeks! I can't believe I manage to pull through and maintain NC for that long.

 

Do I feel better? I don't know. All I know is that I can't remember anything of us.. every memory I cherished, I have blocked them out. I will keep moving on to the point I'll overtake him.. and I won't look back. Not ever.

[Heartbroken_84]

Mangetout and Heartbroken,

 

I've also dated a guy who ran when conflict got to him. I think you're both right that it's nothing for you to feel bad about. Now, there is such a thing as excessive bickering, but everyone has a different place as far as where they draw the line. I dated a guy who...we fought once a week...sometimes semi-serious topic (politics, although it wasn't so much that I disagreed with him but that I thought he shouldn't be so dogmatic and see the validity of some aspects of the other side too, which he wouldn't) and sometimes really silly things. In any case, we fought probably once a week (and had contact with each other every day -- meaning, great days too), but even just once a week was too much for him.

 

You can't control what is "too much" for another person...it's their right to consider once a week fighting too much while you don't think it's too much at all. But....if you agreed to work on it with them and they don't want to...that's out of your control.

 

I do think these men could stand to not run from conflict. You're right, some of it is caused or provoked by them, and they can't put it all on you. But...I think you should feel empowered that as long as you were the one who was sincere in wanting to work on it (get the fighting to go down by 50% and then to close to 100% eventually) and they were the ones who said "no, I'm leaving..." -- you just can't feel too bad.

 

You're likely good girlfriends who just had feelings about certain things and didn't bottle them up. There's a saying that if someone can't handle you at your worst, they sure don't deserve you at your best.

 

Heartbroken, glad you're feeling empowered. I too have felt empowered in the past, even when dumped, when I then went No Contact for a long time. I enjoyed not reaching out even on his birthday. I know he may or may not care. But the whole "dump him back" (or her if you're a guy and got dumped) really does have an effect. It may seem like as long as you were the initial one dumped, you'll always feel less, but I think there does come a point, when no contact has lasted long enough, when you actually feel not that bad...you feel like you said "all right then...I tried" and went your way and you feel a lot less "stupid" and "pathetic" about things. In a way, you even seem more mature and good because you know and they know you tried but you also had the strength and self esteem to go on.

 

My life is good even w/o my ex. It was better with him, I'd say...that is, I had more enjoyable nights. I felt romantically fulfilled. But if I'm honest with myself, my life is good anyway. I'm good-looking, physically fit, have a job I like, have lots of friends, have good activities to participate in.

 

This is/can be the case for lots of people. Embrace the good in your life, 'cause there's lots of it.

 

Dumpers get an ego boost initially when you're sad and broken up, but that fades as soon as you start just being normal and happy again. Take back your power by staying away. Get to "want" and not "need" stage. Take them off the pedestal too. I admit I've put my ex on a pedestal at times. But I consciously remind myself that he's good-looking, but so am I. He's got these great qualities, but so do I. And I have to force myself to say that no matter how much I "fantasize" and "imagine" his life to be great right now, it's probably not. It's probably okay. It's probably like mine...good times, but bad times too.

 

Hi Miranda, can I just say i LOVE love love this post!! It just makes so much sense and everything u said I can relate to and I agree with! Thank you for putting a lot into perspective. Its just what I needed to read at this moment in time.

 

I know I made some mistakes but I can confidently say that I am not to blame for the break up and that I really did try. Sadly he just wasnt cut out for it. He didnt want to be associated with the 'hard work' in the relationship. All he would say after an argument was 'i'm not enjoying it anymore'. I mean get a grip. Its not always going to be fun and dandy!!! Eugh. And I truly believe the only reason something turned into an argument is because of his reaction and response to whatever the issue was (even if it was the pettiest thing like wanting saying I would like to spend more time with him) he would flip and give me the cold shoulder, say he doesnt have to justify what he does to me bla bla. Its just so immature and pathetic, cant believe I let him make me feel so bad and that I was the one with the problem. Jeez! The more I reflect on our relationship the more I ask myself why I put up with it! That saying you mentioned - 'if someone can't handle you at your worst, they sure don't deserve you at your best'. I love it!

 

I am so glad that you are happy and enjoying life, as you should be! You have so much going for u, as do all of us that have been 'dumped'. We need to appreciate what we have, its so easy to focus on the negatives and forget how lucky we are in many aspects.

 

When the right time comes you will have those enjoyable nights to share with someone that deserves to share them with you. In the mean time enjoy time to yourself, enjoy time with friends and family etc. I feel like I appreciate my family more now and am trying to re-connect with people and make new friends and it feels nice, i think it will help boost my self-esteem and confidence which has taken a massive bruising!

 

I do wonder what he's up to and think about the fun he will be having with his new 'freedom' but then I think to myself, SO WHAT. I'm out of his league, he should be the one worrying about me finding someone better than him,not the other way around! I have faith that I will meet someone better. When i say 'better' I mean better qualities, more loving, empathetic, compassionate etc. I dont know why I put him on such a pedestal because really he's just an 'ordinary, nice guy'. He's nothing special. I bigged him up so much in my own head. I have so much to give and offer a person. No more putting myself down!