Author sportygirl Posted June 29, 2014 Author Share Posted June 29, 2014 Yeah - silence would be been preferred I think. I know that if I text him right now I'd get a response. This is what makes it hard as I clearly have no self control! I just find this hard... torturing myself I know. Like most people I suppose I just want to be liked I guess... and find it hard when they don't. So many little things I wish he knew I'd do differently if I could. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 Yeah - silence would be been preferred I think. I know that if I text him right now I'd get a response. This is what makes it hard as I clearly have no self control! I just find this hard... torturing myself I know. Like most people I suppose I just want to be liked I guess... and find it hard when they don't. So many little things I wish he knew I'd do differently if I could. Why haven't you blocked his number? Start by doing that. Right now. Stop delaying and giving yourself an excuse to not do what you need to do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl Posted June 29, 2014 Author Share Posted June 29, 2014 Okay - 'tis done Simon Phoenix. I like this direct approach. Next? haha 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 Okay - 'tis done Simon Phoenix. I like this direct approach. Next? haha Next is just keeping busy and finding other options for people to talk to. Talk to your other friends, go to meetups and meet other friends, take up a new hobby, hell, go to happy hour at the bar and just chat up randoms. Hell, come on here and journal. You've already wasted a year of your life doing the worst possible thing after a breakup. No more wasting time, no more caving, no more being a doormat, none of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl Posted July 5, 2014 Author Share Posted July 5, 2014 Hey, coming on here to journal as I've run out of friends to see, runs to go on and its now tipping it down outside. Struggling big time today :-( all I want to do is message him. The thing is that's it's so long ago since the break up and so much has happened since, that I have actually run out of words. I can't count the number of times I've said I've missed him, wish I could turn back the clock etc etc. I seriously think there isn't something original for me to send anymore. It doesn't change the way I feel though. X Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 Hey, coming on here to journal as I've run out of friends to see, runs to go on and its now tipping it down outside. Struggling big time today :-( all I want to do is message him. The thing is that's it's so long ago since the break up and so much has happened since, that I have actually run out of words. I can't count the number of times I've said I've missed him, wish I could turn back the clock etc etc. I seriously think there isn't something original for me to send anymore. It doesn't change the way I feel though. X Whatever you do, don't cave. Start a project or something, anything but continuing the insanity which you've wasted a year on. Link to post Share on other sites
Thegreatestthing Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 This really helped me a lot,and stopped me from emailing ,I wish I realised this years ago because I feel I've wasted years on people who don't truly love me,op every second you spend waiting for this guy is a step away from the real love of your life. This guy knows you want him back and if he wanted you too he would have made his move. He has moved on and like someone else said if you didn't contact him he probably wouldn't contact you either. You have wasted 1 year of your life pinning for him don't waste anymore years on this because there is someone else out there for you. Walk forward because if you keep looking back you will miss the love of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I usually never hear from exes again, so yes. Im good at cutting off all ties. So I don't know why people occasionally post on here, that you will. Link to post Share on other sites
Offspring Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 (edited) Hi. I think I may need my head checked! I'm totally still obsessing over a guy that ended things a year ago. We didn't even date for that long! We were friends before dating, and still keep some limited contact now (an email every 2 weeks or so)... but I still am hanging on for him to one day want me back. I've tried to move on and see other people, but even now I still want to run into him, or work from the same office (we're mobile workers) so as I have an excuse to have tea with him for him to feel what he once felt before. The thing is, I feel that I can't quite move on without know it won't ever, ever happen. I'm so close to just asking him its a never ever. This seems so daft when clearly it won't happen as he's gone a year without making indications to date again. I just really feel right now that the 'what if' is preventing me from chosing the area where to live, and what jobs to take at work for fear our paths won't cross again. I know this isn't rational. Please stop me from making myself look a fool... words of wisdom and reality check please on how crazy he'd view me for even bringing this up again! So close to messaging him :-( That final surrender of hope is the hardest thing, but a necessary step in moving forward in my opinion. The healthiest thing to do is let go completely, i'd suggest going NC. by hanging in there, you are still giving him the comfort he needs. I say remove yourself completely from the picture without fanfare, you don't even have to announce it is what you're doing. Just quietly move on and start making decisions for your new life. Edit: just read that you are going NC. Hope it has worked for you . Remember, NC is all about you, not him. Best of luck . Edited July 8, 2014 by Offspring Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 Thanks for the ongoing comments :-) Still missing him way more than I should. I've joined a rowing club, the gym and got a new project at work.... though as much as I try I haven't yet been able to shift the mindset. I've also started therapy to learn how to leave the past behind... hoping this will all come to something some day. I just find it really painful to know the feelings have gone - I wish I could have been what he was looking for xx 1 Link to post Share on other sites
travelbug1996 Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 Do you still have him blocked? I had to block a guy I've been on and off with for months. He doesn't want a r but wants me to act like his woman. I've never done that before and my phone service provider lets the person know that they have been blocked. Oh well, he needs to sit down so another man can step up. BTW I miss him terribly but met a cute guy on my way to the gym. You have to take responsibilty for your pain and find ways to minimize it. Onwards and Upwards Link to post Share on other sites
blynnae05 Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 I broke up with my ex a month and a half ago but we talked about things and decided to hold off the relationship til he came home from the army for good We only live a half hour from each other. But the passed month, he's hardly texted me nor has replied to mine. I'll hear from him once every 2 to 3 weeks. I'm getting the feeling he wants nothing to do with me now. I think maybe I pushed him away? I don't know but he hasn't ever given me closure. Just leaves me hanging making me wonder. It hurts. He won't tell me to leave him alone and he won't tell me to stay. He told me 2 weeks ago that he still misses me and cares and that he does want to be with me but impossible for him to do from that far away(in another state). Then 3 days after he tells me that, he ends up coming home because his dad is in bad health. But I found it strange that he never told me he was coming home for a little while and doesn't bother to even show up at my doorstep. I'm sure his actions speaks louder than words. My heart just aches. And it feels worse knowing that he probably doesn't even care. I just want closure. That's not too much to ask, right? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 The sad part is very few people know how to give closure. They just avoid the conversation because it is too hard to hurt someone else. They usually just ignore and hope you get the message. Never listen to "we can be friends" when they have broken up with you. This will not happen and it just keeps you holding on when you in fact need to move on. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
BridgetGrey Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 I have heard from my ex he messages and all of that. But not sure if it's out of pity coz I told my mom got cancer. I think after 2 years of friendship and 7 months he care and may still has feelings , but I'm not desperate to hear from him like I use to months ago. For me now it's like wowo I was really like that he consumed me and i wasn't even myself WTF .. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 The thing is, it's almost as if I need to hear him say it's 100% never ever in a million years going to happen... don't know why... but the hope still seems to be there. Pathetic I know.x I felt exactly the same way. When my ex broke up with me, he was a little indecisive initially. I called him several times and each time he basically said no, it is not going to work. We are not getting back together. Ever. He was very honest about it and very solid in his decision. Did it help me? Was it closure? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I still can't believe it has happened. I still have a tiny bit of hope now and then. Sure, it would make things harder when exes say 'oh, maybe in the future..' but ultimately I don't think it matters what your ex says to you, the closure is something you have to find on your own. I recommend deleting his number from your phone, and if you can't bear to lose his number for good, perhaps lock it away somewhere on paper or a USB to bury in the bottom of your cupboard that will make it less tempting for you. It will be less accessible when you are feeling weak. It is really hard but you need to have self control to stop because you know it is not good for you to keep communicating with him. It is scary to think of losing him altogether, but it is less scary than hanging on forever and staying in love with someone who doesn't want you back. Link to post Share on other sites
BridgetGrey Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 In my case I finalized it and draw the finale lines to ignoring him and not letting back in ever again. A break up is a break up for a reason yes **** is painful you trusted this person with your heart I know this , but you need to let them go for a long time. If a person walk out of your life you have to keep walking and develop it from there. Find yourself but your ex may been just a person passing by your life. Link to post Share on other sites
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