lehcar Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 I've recently starting dating again after ending a LTR of 3 years about 6 months ago. We've been together for about a month and a half and for background, we live and work together at a research station in the jungle. When we first started seeing each other, he was crazy about me. I was very adamant about wanting to move slow and not get serious too quickly. But still, we spent time together at least every other night, he was always telling me I am beautiful and that he likes me so much. I had to leave for ten days after being with him for about 2.5 weeks. Every day he sent me really sweet and long emails and whatsapped me all day every day. He was always asking me what I thought we should do, if we should have a relationship and finally after the end of all our long emails and messaging, just before coming back, I said I thought it would be worth it. Now I've been back for just over two weeks. During that time, he's had almost no time for me. Granted, he has been away for work trips most of that time, but things still feel different. He's not making time for me like he used to, he's not making an effort to sleep with me (as in sharing a bed...) like he used to, he doesn't text me all the time anymore. Whenever I try to arrange for us to have private time together, he tells me he's tired or he shows up an hour later than he said he would. He is now sharing a bedroom with the station administrator who we don't want knowing that we're together yet. He also has been working way harder and longer than he was when we first started dating, so maybe he really is tired. And he does still text me and email me while he is away but it feels different, like it's not as sweet and enthusiastic as it used to be. When I asked him about it, he told me he didn't want to fight. All I did was ask him if he was losing interest in me or if he was just busy so that I could know what was happening. He told me that he's never been in a relationship before and he wants to also have time for himself as well as have time for me. But then he tells me how he misses me a lot when he is away and how he thinks I'm beautiful and how he loves spending time with me. I've never dealt with anything like this before. I feel like I'm going crazy. I feel like as soon as I became as enthusiastic as he was about starting a relationship, he lost interest or something. Am I going crazy and he's just stressed out or could it be that he was super hot for me and now he just doesn't care? What should I do? Please help me, I appreciate any advice. Thank you
Gaeta Posted April 12, 2014 Posted April 12, 2014 I think it's a case of the chase is over so he lost interest. He takes you for granted, you said yes to be his girlfriend so now he doesn't need to put in any efforts. He's never been in a relationship, he will learn very fast that women won't stick around with this type of behavior. If you feel it's a one-side relationship then let it go. You don't have much to lose. He's all talk and no action. 1
Author lehcar Posted April 13, 2014 Author Posted April 13, 2014 I hate to think that... although I do feel that way a bit. It's just that, we have such an amazing time together and we share really great chemistry. I hate that it all just gets thrown away. I don't want to walk away, I want to fix it.. Also, we work and live together, so I worry about the fall out. But more than that, I really grew to like him and it was the first time in years that I've felt anything for another person, I don't want to give that up
Gaeta Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 I hate to think that... although I do feel that way a bit. It's just that, we have such an amazing time together and we share really great chemistry. I hate that it all just gets thrown away. I don't want to walk away, I want to fix it.. Also, we work and live together, so I worry about the fall out. But more than that, I really grew to like him and it was the first time in years that I've felt anything for another person, I don't want to give that up Makes me roll my eyes when I read 'we had great chemistry' after the guy is gone. You perceived you 2 had great chemistry, it was you feeling it, you cannot speak for him. To fix something you need 2 people to participate. Yes you like him a lot and you have not felt this way in a long time BUT he doesn't share that feeling. Sure you don't want to give that up but what will you do? force him to feel for you? You cannot change how people feel, or not feel, for you. That's why when someone wants to walk out of your life, you let him. He's not the only man you will feel chemistry with. 2
soccerrprp Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 I apologize, but lehcar, did you not post the same scenario under a different name? Your story sounds all too familiar and there were quite a few responses to that one, if I remember correctly.
ja123 Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 He just ain't feelin' da jungle fever, baby. Move on.
rosyfuture Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Does he perhaps have ADHD? They tend to hyperfocus at the start, then lose interest after a while. They may still be just as into you, but dont show it like they used to.
Author lehcar Posted April 14, 2014 Author Posted April 14, 2014 hey soccerrprp, no I did not. Maybe it's just a sadly really common situation. Whats the other post? Maybe it can give me some insight
soccerrprp Posted April 14, 2014 Posted April 14, 2014 hey soccerrprp, no I did not. Maybe it's just a sadly really common situation. Whats the other post? Maybe it can give me some insight Here it is: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/469425-how-can-you-tell-when-guy-real-just-really-good-acting-way Both female. Both mention a jungle research station...
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