Do good looking men lack loyalty in a relationship?

[Revolver]

The ability to

 

A.) attract women and the ability to

B.) successfully navigate relationships with them

 

are two different skill sets. A lot of good looking guys are great with A but suck with B but because they're great with A it doesn't really matter because they'll always get chances.

[hasaquestion]

The problem with judging people's actions is opportunity.

 

Its like the ugly chubby chick in your high school who were low cut tops every day, while blasting the pretty girls for being sluts behind their backs.

 

Good looking people get the OPPORTUNITY. Some take it. Some don't. But comparing their behavior to that of people who'd probably do the same thing if they actually had the chance is unfair to me.

 

I know many of the "dorky" guys I know would be womanizers if they could just figure out how to pull it off.

 

Short of recognizing the ones who have the power and choose not to use it, I don't think its fair to make assumptions about looks and loyalty.

[GoodOnPaper]

Good looking people get the OPPORTUNITY. Some take it. Some don't. But comparing their behavior to that of people who'd probably do the same thing if they actually had the chance is unfair to me.

 

I know many of the "dorky" guys I know would be womanizers if they could just figure out how to pull it off.

 

Being such a "dorky" guy myself, I think all you can do is judge people on their actions, regardless of any hypothetical opportunities that might or might not exist if things were different. As unhappy as I am about my lack of success in attracting women when I was single, it doesn't change the fact that in my marriage of about 20 years, I have been completely loyal. While having opportunities would probably help me resolve these lingering issues, at least the lack of opportunities helps avoid potentially harmful drama.

[Omei]

I really think it depends on the person and who they are inside out of all my past bfs the least attractive one was the cheater.

 

Good looking guys just may seem to be cheaters more commonly only because they get more dates more often then less attractive guys.

Edited April 10, 2014 by Omei

[Smilecharmer]

I don't think loyalty is predicated by attractiveness either. My husband is gorgeous, like I know when he enters an area because I hear giggles and women perk up and crane to watch him. I don't think he even notices women fawning over him or he is used to it and thinks this is how all women act to all men. He is the most loyal, unassuming man on the planet. Cheating is what people do who have no values and are guided by their ego. That has nothing to do with attractiveness.

[irc333]

Okay, perhaps those in established relationships are likely to be loyal, as opposed to players that don't want to be in anything long term? Some complaints I hear from women are that they started dating this guy a month or 2 and as soon as he "Got what he wanted" he bailed, and would go onto woman # 100.

[man_in_the_box]

You can't draw a direct correlation between loyalty (or actually fidelity) and physical attractiveness in general. However on an individual basis there might be some overlap in certain cases. After all physical attractiveness will affect a persons experience and that can affect character which affects morality/loyalty/fidelity or whatever is responsible for keeping it in your pants. But it's highly personal and not at all something that can be generalised.

[xxoo]

Okay, perhaps those in established relationships are likely to be loyal, as opposed to players that don't want to be in anything long term? Some complaints I hear from women are that they started dating this guy a month or 2 and as soon as he "Got what he wanted" he bailed, and would go onto woman # 100.

 

Of course a guy who doesn't want anything long term isn't going to turn into a loyal boyfriend of husband. And probably attractive men are more able to date thàt way if they choose to do so.

 

But that doesn't mean that attractive men are more likely to prefer sleeping around over relationships. That part comes down to the individual.

[Imported]

There was a recent woman that I know of, seems to have a heck of a time running into mulit- or serial daters. No telling what they could be carrying, but she seems to complain about loyalty of these very attractive, handsome, GQ guys.

 

I read some article that lesser attractive or average men tend to be much more loyal to their women, statistically than their handsome counter parts.

 

I tend to agree......what are your thoughts?

.

 

OP, I think there was some chick at my work that had an ugly boyfriend, because sometimes that is just how it goes. Anyway, her ugly boyfriend cheated on her. Because some people just suck.

 

I thumbed through some article before that said attractive guys are more likely to sow their wildoats and get that all out of their system and that when they find someone they love and want to commit to, they actually do so with no temptation to cheat because they already had all the pussy they can ever want and learned from it. While less attractive guys, never really get to try a lot of things with women and if by some chance they end up in a relationship, they are more likely to give in to temptation if it ever is presented to them.

 

I don't really know. I think people are just people. You can think what you want to think.

[Grumpybutfun]

 

I thumbed through some article before that said attractive guys are more likely to sow their wildoats and get that all out of their system and that when they find someone they love and want to commit to, they actually do so with no temptation to cheat because they already had all the pussy they can ever want and learned from it. While less attractive guys, never really get to try a lot of things with women and if by some chance they end up in a relationship, they are more likely to give in to temptation if it ever is presented to them.

 

This has been my experience. If you already had those experiences and you don't feel insecure because you know you have that ability to attract and have sex with whomever you want, you are more likely to really appreciate the love and commitment you feel with your girl. I am very loyal and liken cheaters to being a douchebag with no values or principles so....yeah, I feel very strongly about fidelity.

Grumps

[hotpotato]

From my experience, an unattractive or mildly man can be just as disloyal.

 

Thats like when people here say pretty women are *add negative adjective here.*

[melell]

Interesting post.

 

In my experience, though, it is the opposite. I have found that good looking men are more loyal than guys that would be considered less attractive.

 

It is almost as if they can have anyone, they are aware of that, so they don't feel the need to seek sexual partners to validate themselves. I find that insecure guys, and guys who don't have it on offer, seek other sexual partners because it fills a need other than the actual 'act'-makes them feel good about themselves, makes them feel like they are desired, or like they are successful.

 

My ex had females handing themselves to him frequently, and that had been the case since he was a teenager- he knew he was wanted, he was already completely secure in that respect. It was really interesting to observe. Funnily enough I never once felt anxious that he would cheat, despite the opportunity always being there. I knew if he wanted another girlfriend it would be easy for him to do, same if he wanted to be single and be with lots of girls- the option was always there for him to do those things. I really think the psychological need had been filled.

In over 7 years together there was not one point of disloyalty in that regard.

 

There are several other males I know that are very attractive, and very loyal. One especially, he plays sports professionally, girls available for whenever he would like- he chooses to be with his partner, knowing he has many, many to chose from.

 

I would go as far to say having unlimited options may make someone less likely to cheat. It would be a hard thing to correlate though- Attractive guys get more dates, but there are more less attractive guys than attractive. I think?

 

I do think the same applies for girls though too, and it is terribly unfortunate how much aesthetics comes into play with the bigger aspects of life.

[Shufflin]

All those attractive basketball players who are loyal to their SO's tell me all I need to know

 

In my experience, there is no correlation between looks and loyalty.

[hard2c]

Absolutely not.

 

Just because I look good does not automatically make me a scum bag.

good looking guys have higher levels of testosterone.

[tbf]

From my experience, an unattractive or mildly man can be just as disloyal.

 

Thats like when people here say pretty women are *add negative adjective here.*

Pretty much. If x doesn't have the positive trait that y does, they have to slash y.

[Phoe]

Well, having more options may make it EASIER to cheat, but that doesn't mean someone will be INCLINED to cheat.

 

Someone with 500 options may never cheat, a person with just 1 other option might go ahead and take that 1 other option.

 

 

My first 2 boyfriends were very unattractive. I adored their personalities and I do not like talking down about their look, but truthfully, they were quite unattractive. My first boyfriend was about a 4. He cheated on me the INSTANT another girl showed interest. The next boyfriend was not very attractive, and he cheated as well.

[Imported]

Less attractive men have fewer options so they are forced to be more loyal.

 

That is not loyalty. You can't force loyalty. You need to know the difference.

 

Forced "loyalty" is more like desperation than it is loyalty.

[irc333]

Perhaps this thread is more about men likely wanting FWB or casual sex with women.

 

As seen online I think EVERY single profile I've run into is a woman saying, "If you're looking for FWB or one night stand, do not email me!" (as if that would stop them, lol).

 

I'm banking on the fact they emphasize this because the men that contact them, they have an interest in these men...then along the lines through chat or phone...he tries to talk dirty to her right off the bat...and *Bam* she hangs up the phone or she stops responding to his "sexting" attempts.

 

But when I am looking for something serious and NOT a FWB, they are non-responsive.

 

So there's that wheelhouse...though not in relationships, there's the challenge of trying to find a man who doesn't want to sleep with multiple women.

[potsticker]

Less attractive men have fewer options so they are forced to be more loyal.

 

 

^ who says their options don't go up after the relationship starts because of their new confident outlook because of the egoboost they get from going out with an attractive woman? And who says conversely that their insecurity about the mismatch of attractiveness doesn't become the devil on their shoulder encouraging them to cheat?

[Chubbi]

Does this work in the reverse too? Don't date the model, date me: I'm less likely to cheat because I'm not as beautiful. Sounds desperate. Not attractive

[MrRightNow]

I know good looking guys who never cheat, and ugly guys who cheat every chance they get. Attractive guys obviously have more opportunities to cheat, but at the end of the day it's all about the guy's character and morals.

[FrostBlaze]

It depends on the person, loyalty has nothing to do with the fact if you are ugly or beautiful.

It's just that more handsome men get more hit-on and are tempted often, as such they are more inclined to cheat, doesn't mean that they will.

I know a few, they flirt and everything but never go further, loyal to their partner. But i'm sure he would tap some of them, i know the girls would tap him xD haha.

 

Yeah so, we are all the same, just that handsome men always surround themselves in such situations where it can happen.

[Tayla]

Does this work in the reverse too? Don't date the model, date me: I'm less likely to cheat because I'm not as beautiful. Sounds desperate. Not attractive

 

Interesting way to take that opportunity. never thought of it that way....

 

Somehow while loyalty can be a postive trait, the person can be ill moral non the less in other ways....

 

Ugly shines thru in people...which is why looks are deceiving....

[VeronicaRoss]

I agree with the people that good looking people can have great character, but they're going to be more tempted by opportunity. Doesn't mean they take it.

 

But for those that aren't sterling or aren't interested in a normal life, it's going to make it REALLY hard to settle down when the options seem endless.

 

My first boyfriend was really good looking, even my mother had a crush on him. He was a musician.

 

He seemed very shy and sweet. He treated me really well. He pursued me, had a thing for me for years. He said he had never been in love before me.

 

So when people tried to warn me that he was going to break my heart I didn't believe it would happen to us. Everyone falls in love eventually and settles down, right?

 

Well, the naysayers were right. He told me when we were breaking up he always knew he'd move on, he was just staying in our relationship as long as it felt good and it didn't feel good anymore. I was growing up and no longer a juicy teenager. It was just gross. In a flash the sweet natured guy showed me who he really was.

 

I talked with him briefly about 20 years later, he had been married for 11 with kids, and he hit on me. It was so weird being on the other side but it sure made me glad I dodged that bullet. As a successful older artist that focuses on nudes (surprise!), he still is a player.

 

I've never talked with him again.

[KathyM]

I know good looking guys who never cheat, and ugly guys who cheat every chance they get. Attractive guys obviously have more opportunities to cheat, but at the end of the day it's all about the guy's character and morals.

Exactly. I know many men who are loyal husbands or boyfriends and who are very good looking. They don't cheat because they have morals and character. Those who are good looking but lack character are more likely to cheat than men who are not so good looking and lack character, because they will have more opportunity to cheat.