tornado Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Maybe he wants a threesome. My MM wanted that, but not with his wife... it didn't happen though. Btw, does a man who loves a woman desire a threesome? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DarkAngel87 Posted April 3, 2014 Author Share Posted April 3, 2014 How do you honestly feel about this? I hope it sickens you. Look, you've had a 3 month affair with him, that's not a lot of time invested. Has it occurred to you that you really do not know him at all and maybe consider ending your A? Honestly I threw up a little in my mouth when I heard him but I don’t think he meet any harm by it. I think he was thinking about his wife. He still loves her and make that clear. I’m not looking a future with my mm or I am looking for love with him. This is a short term relationship and I plan to end it when my SO comes back from overseas (Europe) in late May. I just want some spend time with while my SO away. I do believe the my mm is a good man. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Honestly I threw up a little in my mouth when I heard him but I don’t think he meet any harm by it. I think he was thinking about his wife. He still loves her and make that clear. I’m not looking a future with my mm or I am looking for love with him. This is a short term relationship and I plan to end it when my SO comes back from overseas (Europe) in late May. I just want some spend time with while my SO away. I do believe the my mm is a good man. Do you even hear yourself??? You are incredibly detached from all of this. You better hope karma doesn't come to bite either of you in the arse. Way to keep it klassy. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Run away now. His ego is so big that it clouds his judgement. He has no respect for either of you. What a twisted, self serving idea. I can't believe you didn't smack the crap out of him. Thinking of autumn moons example my guess is he was texting both her and his wife and thinking about what a big man he is. Yuck, just yuck! Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 I’m not looking a future with my mm or I am looking for love with him. This is a short term relationship and I plan to end it when my SO comes back from overseas (Europe) in late May. I just want some spend time with while my SO away. Why not a single guy then? I get that mm are easier to land than a single guy, but the extra effort would have been worth it. This has the potential to turn out very badly. Please reconsider your actions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Furious Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Honestly I threw up a little in my mouth when I heard him but I don’t think he meet any harm by it. I think he was thinking about his wife. He still loves her and make that clear. I’m not looking a future with my mm or I am looking for love with him. This is a short term relationship and I plan to end it when my SO comes back from overseas (Europe) in late May. I just want some spend time with while my SO away. I do believe the my mm is a good man. You threw up a little on your mouth but you believe your MM is a good man who just wants the woman he's cheating with to be become his wife's friend. There's something sick and twisted going on. It's one thing to cheat but it's another thing to bask in making his wife a fool. I feel sorry for her, no one deserves this kind of humiliation. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 (edited) I don't know your MM, but if I were to guess he is not up to something nefarious, wanting a threesome, or wanting to rub his wife's nose in it. No. What he is doing is trying to normalize his relationship with you to her as 'friends'. Now, you could certainly call that deception, but I don't think it is because he is trying to hurt anyone. What is it we always hear? "If it is just a friend then they should be open about their friendship with the spouse." That is what I assume he is doing and it is perfectly normal. Edited April 3, 2014 by Realist3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 That is what I assume he is doing and it is perfectly normal. Define normal please- How is disrespecting both of these women by asking them to be part of his game normal-? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 (edited) That is what I assume he is doing and it is perfectly normal. Define normal please- How is disrespecting both of these women by asking them to be part of his game normal-? If the AP were just a friend that he went out with for lunch or drinks it would be normal for him to introduce her to his wife. All he is doing is trying to make her appear as a friend to his wife. It is not an unusual approach at all. Edited April 3, 2014 by Realist3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 I don't know your MM, but if I were to guess he is not up to something nefarious, wanting a threesome, or wanting to rub his wife's nose in it. No. What he is doing is trying to normalize his relationship with you to her as 'friends'. Now, you could certainly call that deception, but I don't think it is because he is trying to hurt anyone. What is it we always hear? "If it is just a friend then they should be open about their friendship with the spouse." That is what I assume he is doing and it is perfectly normal. It isn't perfectly normal. At all, far from it. This man is trying to get his OW and wife to become friends to ease his own guilt and so he can spend time with his OW with his wife knowing and so he can make it seem like there is no affair going on (why would I be so stupid honey as to introduce you to my friend if I were having an affair with her). this is all about him and controlling this situation. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Sub Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 All he is doing is trying to make her appear as a friend to his wife. It is not an unusual approach at all. I think that's the nefarious part, though. He's creating the illusion that they're just friends to make the A aspect of the relationship easier to conceal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CantSStopMeNow Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Wowwwww, i cant believe that this is real. Is this real? Can a husband be this evil to his wife? Who needs a enemy with a husband like this? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 It isn't perfectly normal. At all, far from it. This man is trying to get his OW and wife to become friends to ease his own guilt and so he can spend time with his OW with his wife knowing and so he can make it seem like there is no affair going on (why would I be so stupid honey as to introduce you to my friend if I were having an affair with her). this is all about him and controlling this situation. It is perfectly normal for the objective. I don't buy into the "guilt" argument. If guilt were the motivator he would end the affair. Simple as that. What he is doing is creating a cover to spend time with her without raising suspicion. Of course he is trying to control the situation. He is controlling the situation to make sure his affair does not get discovered. You are splitting hairs here. "This level of deception is expected, but this one is not." We are talking about an affair here. Arguing over degrees of deception is pointless. You are making a judgment about what he is doing, not why he is doing it. The OP's question was about her confusion over "WHY" he is doing this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CantSStopMeNow Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 If he can do this to his wife, i wonder what he is planning to do to you! 7 Link to post Share on other sites
eye of the storm Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 DarkAngel, my ExH left me for my best friend. I eventually found peace about my M ending (turned out to be the best thing for me). But to this day I am still angry about how she acted like my friend while banging my H. How I cried to her when he left me (I didn't know he went to her). How since they were friends too could she give me advice on how to save my M? To this day I feel like a fool. And I am angry at her. Not for sleeping with him, she ended up doing me a favor. But for how she played me and made me look like a giant jack ass for running to my H's AP for help saving my marriage. She and all her friends made fun of me behind my back. Please do not befriend the wife. When/If she finds out it will hurt so much more to know her friend was involved in making her look foolish. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sub Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 I’m not looking a future with my mm or I am looking for love with him. This is a short term relationship and I plan to end it when my SO comes back from overseas (Europe) in late May. I just want some spend time with while my SO away. I do believe the my mm is a good man. So, you're just going to end an A with someone that you work with once your H steps off the plane. Uh huh. Well, if he's aware of this, maybe he's trying to get you to be friends with his wife so he can remain close to you, outside of work, after your H comes home. Link to post Share on other sites
peaksandvalleys Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Wowwwww, i cant believe that this is real. Is this real? Can a husband be this evil to his wife? Who needs a enemy with a husband like this? There are some evil people in the world. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 He believes we share many of the same hobbies and could be good friends if we gave each other the chances. Yeah, and hopefully at some point he can have a threesome too. I think he likes the idea of having both women he's having sex with together so he can look and fantasize about how he's doing you both. This guy is major sick, sick, sick. What in the world do you see in this scum. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 I’m not looking a future with my mm or I am looking for love with him. This is a short term relationship and I plan to end it when my SO comes back from overseas (Europe) in late May. I just want some spend time with while my SO away. I do believe the my mm is a good man. :lmao:OMG!!!! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Be ready for it to backfire. First, you could meet his wife and like her. Then you will leave him or feel guilt over the affair. I always introduced women I worked closely with (and still do). They all without fail liked her and became her watchdog over my behavior. Second, women have a certain intuition as you may know. She could easily pick up on the vibes and figure out what is going on. Third, your MM could make a comparison between the two of you and either end the affair or leave her for you. Both will make your life difficult from the sounds of it. And yes, there is the possibility that either she knows (despite what you think) or he gets a kick out of seeing the two of you together. Avoid a meeting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThatGirl213 Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 My OM encouraged me to be friends with his wife in the beginning. We are very different me and her so for that and obvious other reasons I was never comfortable around her and he doesn't say much about it anymore but at the time he felt we could see and hang out more if me and her were friends too. He has flat out said it turned him on to know we were at the gym at the same time and has texted me things he should not, when I'm in her presence. What a sicko!!!!! I wonder if he is still married to her. Link to post Share on other sites
WrinkledForehead Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 The thought used to make me want to vomit. How on earth could you ever look her in the eye? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 the guilt that you can bury somewhere now will come out in full force once you spend time with his W and get to know her more. then you will start thinking of the worst consequences once she finds out and its the pits when you realize how much you hurt this woman who has done nothing to hurt you. I never met my ex-MM's wife face-to-face but i felt her everywhere when he took me to THEIR house after he completed the renovations. He has brought me there when all the work was in progress and it was just a house for me that he was working on. However, after renovs and all their stuff, photos, stuff were in place, i felt her all over! It was too personal and i realized how i am intentionally hurting his poor wife. I couldnt sleep after that... Link to post Share on other sites
WhiteOrchid Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 He sounds like a sociopath (and no, that behavior is not normal). 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 I really feel for the single OW. You are living in la la land. Link to post Share on other sites
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