gettingstronger Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 And yes, he is crazy and selfish- calling you without making any progress towards what you asked for was incredibly selfish- Link to post Share on other sites
A.Moscote Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 It's okay, don't be so sad. At least you broke the NC in a 'leave-me-alone' style in the end. That shows you have learned a lot and are much wiser now. Be strong and optimist, you will your happiness again eventually. Maybe after this whenever you have a bad day, you should be the one to contact others (families, friends) first, and thus diminishing the pull his call will have on you. He follows it up with a sappy message about how I'm the best person he knows. I admit it feels good. But, it only feels good because right now my self-esteem is so low. Hey maybe you really are the best person he knows. That's not impossible, in fact a lot of (married) men found that their best person is someone who's willing to have an affair with them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JL123 Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 Hang in there! You did better than me! I caved, saw him twice AND had sex. And I am right back to being as confused as hell (just posted about it). So you are doing pretty good if you ask me! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wambo Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 And yes, he is crazy and selfish- calling you without making any progress towards what you asked for was incredibly selfish- I strongely disagree....... He's a crowd, weak and haven't lifted a finger to get the help he needed. Just the other day my NC too was broken by my upset exAP and I learnt she haven't done anything to resolve her situation. She haven't even told her parents about me or our affair. All these months in healing and keeping my distance, while she done nothing to solve her problems. I know it's not suitable to brag out if you're involved in an affair but it's important to rely on close friends and family for support. These are the people who will listen and treat any sensitive information with confridence. How can they get help if you are not revealing to others they have problems in the first place? Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuakerOats Posted June 7, 2014 Author Share Posted June 7, 2014 So this morning he sent me a pretty creepy sexual love email with details about our first encounter...which I guess he remembered was on this day two years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 Sorry you are in this pain and I hope all goes well with the surgery. As for the guy, he's not there for you, he never will be there for you, and you deserve someone who is. I've done the waiting for a call, text, whatever, thing, and eventually I realised that the pain outweighed the potential pleasure. He did not have a right to pull my strings. The guy was not even married, just keeping me hanging on. If I knew he had a wife, it would have seemed hopeless much faster. Look up push/pull tactics. The guy carries on being fun and interesting and unclingy and it's appealing. Just when you realise that you want more and have had enough with fake promises and you start to drift off, he rallies and pulls you back in with his charm. You'd need to resist this bit of the pattern. Once you see it's a pattern that serves his ends and not yours, it should get easier. Link to post Share on other sites
Rar0 Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 I don't think so Link to post Share on other sites
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