Reasons my break up was a good thing

[KaliLove]

Haha, I didn't know there were any long-term implications for women who wear them, but I guess that makes sense. She always said they were more comfortable for her. She wore real bras sometimes, but not as often as I would have liked.

 

 

Just in general, she wasn't that interested in dressing up, and that is another reason it is good that it ended, because I liked to more than she did and it would be nice to have a partner that liked to as well.

 

Good! Keep going!

 

It's ok, she can tuck her boobs into her drawstring pants in a few years. Then she won't have to wear a bra at all.

[KaliLove]

Reason number 595 why my break up was a good thing..my new guy.

[redbaron005]

My break up was a good thing because:

 

1) It taught me the importance of communication and vulnerability.

2) It motivated me to make a much needed career and city shift.

3) It gave me a chance to rebuild relationships with family and friends.

4) It instilled on me a greater value of respect of others and their emotions.

5) It made me more aware of who I am and who I have the potential to become.

 

I hope its at least had some good effects for her as well, however I do not know as I am NC.

[Alban]

I liked farting on my ex-girlfriend,it was so funny ?but nothing good comes to me after breaking up with her after 5 years, I still love her more than anything in the world..

[KaliLove]

I liked farting on my ex-girlfriend,it was so funny ?but nothing good comes to me after breaking up with her after 5 years, I still love her more than anything in the world..

 

It was probably the farting. Dude..no.

[KaliLove]

Bump!!!!!!

[David87]

I liked farting on my ex-girlfriend,it was so funny ?but nothing good comes to me after breaking up with her after 5 years, I still love her more than anything in the world..

 

Now that's just disgusting for me....

[KaliLove]

Eww..fart monster texted me today. Why do the ones you don't want always come back???

[Leigh 87]

Oh, I do NOT miss the snoring. Seriously..I wore earplugs to bed..

 

 

 

 

HAHAHA.

 

Me too. With my ex:sick:

[Trapito]

I became codependent in the relationship, I let myself be treated like ****. After the break up, it took me a long time to heal. I now am grateful he broke up with me, because:

 

- I was forced to make new friends

- I can spend my time however I want to

- I can eat when, where, what I want to

- I went to therapy, and learned a lot about myself

- I found loveshack

- I learned a lot about human emotion, behavior and psyche

- I found me again

- I really love myself again

- I don't feel anxious anymore

- I don't have to make anybody else but ME happy

- I find myself attractive again

- I started working out again

- I now know what the red flags are and when to run in a next relationship

- I don't NEED to be in a relationship, I am perfectly happy by myself and I love spending time by myself

[KaliLove]

I became codependent in the relationship, I let myself be treated like ****. After the break up, it took me a long time to heal. I now am grateful he broke up with me, because:

 

- I was forced to make new friends

- I can spend my time however I want to

- I can eat when, where, what I want to

- I went to therapy, and learned a lot about myself

- I found loveshack

- I learned a lot about human emotion, behavior and psyche

- I found me again

- I really love myself again

- I don't feel anxious anymore

- I don't have to make anybody else but ME happy

- I find myself attractive again

- I started working out again

- I now know what the red flags are and when to run in a next relationship

- I don't NEED to be in a relationship, I am perfectly happy by myself and I love spending time by myself

 

Good post!

[Trapito]

Good post!

 

Thank you very much! The break up is now almost three years ago, I have never learned so much about myself and other people in my life. If I could do it all over again, I should have dumped him. He treated me very poorly in the end.

 

It took me a long time to get over him. Nights with Adele, hysterical crying, many bottles of whine and hope (which needed to die). Now.. I feel fabulous, I have a lot of new friends, living life and loving it, every now and then I go on a date (haven't met someone I really click with yet, but that's no problem, I just enjoy dating).

 

I didn't know I could be this happy and content, just by myself. It's a good feeling.

[KaliLove]

Thank you very much! The break up is now almost three years ago, I have never learned so much about myself and other people in my life. If I could do it all over again, I should have dumped him. He treated me very poorly in the end.

 

It took me a long time to get over him. Nights with Adele, hysterical crying, many bottles of whine and hope (which needed to die). Now.. I feel fabulous, I have a lot of new friends, living life and loving it, every now and then I go on a date (haven't met someone I really click with yet, but that's no problem, I just enjoy dating).

 

I didn't know I could be this happy and content, just by myself. It's a good feeling.

 

Oh Adele..you evil break up siren.

[Trapito]

Oh Adele..you evil break up siren.

 

Hèhè! Yes she is! But 'angry-woman-music' helped me get through. I for sure know my neighbors could hear me in the middle of the night (singing/crying with my bottle of whine as a microphone, my neighbors just didn't let me know. I am thankful for that, it would be kind of embarrassing...

[KaliLove]

Moving into the anger phase. Hating my ex today. It's helping me get motivated to work out..so that's a good thing.

[zyketti]

This is a great idea...... My breakup was necessary. They say everything happens for a reason, and as a Christian, I do believe this happened for me to learn big lessons... I do still pray for another chance with her though, as much as it is not really recommended.

 

1. I lost my identity in the relationship - I became needy

2. Overly dependent

3. Needed her to make me happy

4. We fought OFTEN

5. I was unhappy in the latter months of the relationship due to my problems, and her also, with her problems and 3 jobs

6. We both were no longer students, and yet had very meaningless jobs. We need time to figure our lives out, in terms of career, life plans and goals

7. As a result of #6, both of us were living under parent's house. While sex drive was never a problem, she couldn't deal with having sex in the car regularly. Our sex life reduced to once a week.

8. As a result of #1, 2, 3: I lost my self-control. Little criticisms made me snap. Short temper, etc..

9. As an extension of #6, she was stressed out, tired every single time when she came to see me. I was more of an scapegoat? of her stress to her.

 

Most of the problems were from me... I know I'm still in the "madly in love b/c I don't have her" stage, and I can't seem to think of anything wrong from her yet. I will get there soon.....

 

I'm working hard to fix these problems, and unfortunately, she's still on my mind once every frekaing minute.

[Breadimus]

This is a great idea...... My breakup was necessary. They say everything happens for a reason, and as a Christian, I do believe this happened for me to learn big lessons... I do still pray for another chance with her though, as much as it is not really recommended.

 

1. I lost my identity in the relationship - I became needy

2. Overly dependent

3. Needed her to make me happy

4. We fought OFTEN

5. I was unhappy in the latter months of the relationship due to my problems, and her also, with her problems and 3 jobs

6. We both were no longer students, and yet had very meaningless jobs. We need time to figure our lives out, in terms of career, life plans and goals

7. As a result of #6, both of us were living under parent's house. While sex drive was never a problem, she couldn't deal with having sex in the car regularly. Our sex life reduced to once a week.

8. As a result of #1, 2, 3: I lost my self-control. Little criticisms made me snap. Short temper, etc..

9. As an extension of #6, she was stressed out, tired every single time when she came to see me. I was more of an scapegoat? of her stress to her.

 

Most of the problems were from me... I know I'm still in the "madly in love b/c I don't have her" stage, and I can't seem to think of anything wrong from her yet. I will get there soon.....

 

I'm working hard to fix these problems, and unfortunately, she's still on my mind once every frekaing minute.

 

Mate have you been copying my life? This seems like verbatim my world.

 

I have got passed the madly in love stage, so will you. You will get to "Happy for me happy for her stage." Just keep soldiering on.

[freebird31]

Well the main reason why is that if it weren't for the break up, I wouldn't be this person that I am:) I have grown and learned a lot over the year. And I have learned yet again how to let to of someone and to keep going.

 

But if you want a con list I can do that too lol

 

Cons:

I think we were too alike sometimes. Both easygoing, quiet, laid back, too friendly type of people. Type of people that are "too nice." Idk if that really works.

-sometimes he wasn't sensitive to my feelings

-he did this weird thing with his tongue when we kissed (WHICH I HATED) lmao sorry if that's tmi. It was just really weird and not sexy.

-he smoked

-liked to party a lot

-and drink a lot

-he wasn't romantic AT ALL. I like romance. I like cheesy.

I like flowers and I never got them that whole 8 months we dated.

-he had a hard time opening up. Always a brick wall.

-I guess the number one was that he wasn't sensitive to my feelings. There was a couple of times he was a jerk

[Babolat]

I was the dumper, same girl, twice. She came back to me after 8 months post 1st break to state she had changed and wanted to try again.

 

Both break ups were good because I was codependent when with her. I got lost, forgot who I was, what my morals and values were, and I sufferred major anxiety when with her. I compromised, too much. She is a great woman, amazing even, just not a great woman, for me.

 

The 2nd breakup was good because her and I actually sat down to talk about it, kissed, hugged, said our goodbyes and I have not had contact with her since. We never argued or faught to begin with, but having a good break up experience has helped me.

[Manu25]

Why my most recent break-up was a good thing:

 

1. I need to be alone to figure out what I want in relationships and career before I can be happy in a relationship.

 

2. I used him. I feel very ashamed but I have to admit that. I was too weak to cut ties and to break it off, so he did it. I'm very disappointed in myself for that. But it came forth of not knowing what I want. I want to work on that so that will never EVER happen again in the future. I don't want to do myself nor anyone else any more needless harm anymore.

 

3. I have to figure out my sexual identity and I need to accept myself more and feel more comfortable about my sexuality. I can only do that being single and surrounded with friends and family.

[Wings Of Love]

Reasons my breakup was a good thing:

 

- Ever since he left I've been feeling more confident in myself. Just because he didn't appreciate me the way I am, doesn't mean someone else won't.

 

- Now that I've taken a step back, I realise how controlling he could be. He got upset if I so much as spoke to my guy friends online, but I was not allowed to get upset if he spent the night out drinking with his female friends. And he happily told me that a girl he met on holiday offered herself to him, but he threatened any guys who got too friendly with me. Any fall-outs between us became my fault and I was always made to apologise. Better off without all that.

 

- He told everyone I was suicidal during our relationship and after the breakup. Not true in the slightest. Definitely glad to be away from that.

 

- And finally, not being with him gives me more of a chance to meet the right man for me.

[sooshi]

I'm doing things I didn't do while I was with him, things that I've want to do/try out:

- learn American Sign Language

- take a Zumba class (I'm going to for instructor training this summer!)

- take two other fitness classes

 

I've learned just how much of a doormat I've been, and I'm SO much more assertive now. I have you guys to thank for that!

 

I bought a juicer. Wasn't going to, because my ex has one and since I was hoping for reconciliation, I was delaying the purchase, thinking we'd have one together anyway.

 

I'm working on writing children's books. I get to focus on ME. While I was with him, a lot of times towards the end, the focus was on him because he was down down down, and I was always trying to cater him so he would feel better.

 

But now, it's all about me.

 

I now recognize red flags. I know so much more about relationships. I came on here as a really naive person when it comes to these things. I see now that my ex was trying to make me end the relationship during the last while, but since I was so resilient, he finally did it.

 

I know that was a wonderful partner to him, and I know that he didn't truly appreciate me in the end. I know that whoever I end up with will truly appreciate me and want to be in a team with me.

 

So, thanks, ex-fiance, for giving me no choice but to start anew.

Edited April 29, 2014 by sooshi