Do you even want to understand the struggles of the opposite sex?

[Canucklehead]

I think the biggest problem is viewing men and women as two 'sides', or different species.

 

I've always sought to understand the struggles of the men I care about - friends, family, and SO. But I don't think there's any point in understanding the struggles of 'men' in general, because different men have different problems. In short, I guess I prefer to empathize with individual struggles rather than gender generalizations.

 

This^^^

 

I believe is a far more empowering attitude that either gender would be better empowered by accepting.....

 

Way too often we try to take a few experiences and try to generalize into the whole population as an accepted norm. Each of us are unique and are constantly changing as we experience. I say, be grateful for the differences and know that acceptance creates peace and happiness amongst us.

[2.50 a gallon]

What I have never understood, is why most men do not even try to understand women.

 

When I was a kid, my dad taught me how to fish, but all he knew was bottom or mostly cat rfishing. I wanted to catch bass, trout, etc, so I began to read about how to fish, became a pretty good fisherman.

 

When I began notice girls in high school, I was short and scrawney, while they were looking for dreamboats, I was in the shrimp boat league. I needed an edge so began to study women. There is a lot you can learn about the opposite sex, if you want to.

 

I am still short, and though not fat, since I retired and slowed down I am know up to a whole 155 pounds. I am of average looks, and yet this shrimp boat had a fantastic dating life.

 

Part of the reason for my success that I learned to listen. If you are smart enough to listen they will tell you how to seduce them

[2.50 a gallon]

Totally true. A lesson learned. When I was in college I was astounded to find out many of the most attractive coeds, were dateless on Saturday night. I am talking of the home coming queen, the cheerleaders. The reason being the only guys who were asking them out were the jocks and they were tired of that type. The average guy is afraid of being rejected, so didn't have the balls to ask them out.

[2.50 a gallon]

Oh really?

When was the last time you had cramps for 2 to 3 or more days. Only to have them come back again less than 4 weeks later?

 

We men tend to be attracted by a woman's looks. A woman is most attractive between the ages of 18 and 20. And then she gets pregnant. Do men get fat when they get pregnant?

 

Gray hair on man is attractive, not so with women.

 

I am very fortunate at being retired and my lady of 18 years, a grandmother, still has an hour glass figure. Oh and her face she still looks twenty years younger. That is not an accident. Although she does not diet, she does watch her weight, and when gains a few pounds, cuts back on what she eats. And her face, every night she spends a good half hour, taking care of her face. She has been watching her weight and washing her face like this every night for the past 40 plus years

 

Do you have to do that?

[FrostBlaze]

I will just agree with somedude81 on this topic.

At the initial phase, girls have it easyer, they go on more dates then men do.

They have men lining up for them most of the time, so they can make their "pick".

Few men actually have girls lining up for them haha, we just go pick one and hope all goes well, we aren't that picky either, it's why we hit at most of them.

In general, men flock around women, good looking or average.

 

I can give examples of my EX's or friends i know, the moment they get single, they allready have men lined up at the door for a go, so she can choose who.

My ex has around 6 blokes trying their best for her, my cousin has 4 she keeps on the burner. ) I could go on.

 

Most people i know that do multiple/dating are women, men to, but not as successful since they can't get as much, etc.

That's my personal experience with this, could be different elsewhere.

Edited March 19, 2014 by FrostBlaze

[Negative Nancy]

Men only see that women have it so much easier and blah blah blah from their own perspective, because that's what men want.

 

Yes, women have desperate losers hitting on them for sex constantly, but women want commitment and relationships, so they are not getting what THEY want. From a man's perspective of course it's paradise since men would love to have the options women have (any woman can walk into a bar and ask "who is DTF" and probably half the men in the bar would jump at the chance immediately if she is halfway decent looking. If a man did the same, at best he'd get deafening yawns, and punches in the face at worst.)

 

So what if women can get sex anytime they want if that's not what they REALLY want? That's like saying a man is lucky because he got some charming entertaining conversation with a woman (i.e. not what the man REALLY wants either). Another example is if men were approached by fatties and uglies and dykes.....yeah, in theory they have women hitting on them, but not the type of women they want.

 

These 2 examples should make men understand women's struggles and make them more empathetic. You're welcome.

[joystickd]

Men only see that women have it so much easier and blah blah blah from their own perspective, because that's what men want.

 

Yes, women have desperate losers hitting on them for sex constantly, but women want commitment and relationships, so they are not getting what THEY want. From a man's perspective of course it's paradise since men would love to have the options women have (any woman can walk into a bar and ask "who is DTF" and probably half the men in the bar would jump at the chance immediately if she is halfway decent looking. If a man did the same, at best he'd get deafening yawns, and punches in the face at worst.)

 

So what if women can get sex anytime they want if that's not what they REALLY want? That's like saying a man is lucky because he got some charming entertaining conversation with a woman (i.e. not what the man REALLY wants either). Another example is if men were approached by fatties and uglies and dykes.....yeah, in theory they have women hitting on them, but not the type of women they want.

 

These 2 examples should make men understand women's struggles and make them more empathetic. You're welcome.

Um.........NO!

[Woggle]

Men only see that women have it so much easier and blah blah blah from their own perspective, because that's what men want.

 

Yes, women have desperate losers hitting on them for sex constantly, but women want commitment and relationships, so they are not getting what THEY want. From a man's perspective of course it's paradise since men would love to have the options women have (any woman can walk into a bar and ask "who is DTF" and probably half the men in the bar would jump at the chance immediately if she is halfway decent looking. If a man did the same, at best he'd get deafening yawns, and punches in the face at worst.)

 

So what if women can get sex anytime they want if that's not what they REALLY want? That's like saying a man is lucky because he got some charming entertaining conversation with a woman (i.e. not what the man REALLY wants either). Another example is if men were approached by fatties and uglies and dykes.....yeah, in theory they have women hitting on them, but not the type of women they want.

 

These 2 examples should make men understand women's struggles and make them more empathetic. You're welcome.

 

The fact that so many people have this simplistic a view of the opposite sex shows that they don't understand.

[somedude81]

Totally true. A lesson learned. When I was in college I was astounded to find out many of the most attractive coeds, were dateless on Saturday night. I am talking of the home coming queen, the cheerleaders. The reason being the only guys who were asking them out were the jocks and they were tired of that type. The average guy is afraid of being rejected, so didn't have the balls to ask them out.

I'm 5'6, average looks, average body, and I will ask out anybody no matter how hot she is.

 

All I care about is if a woman is cute, and if she seems to enjoy my company.

 

I doubt I'm the only guy who operates that way.

 

As for the dateless coeds, I'm starting to get a theory on them. There is a super cute sorority girl in my dance class. Really nice body too. I bet that she's single and hasn't been asked out in a while. Why? Because she comes off as cold, bored and a bit awkward. I've tried repeatedly to get this girl to open up and it just doesn't work. There are three other girls who are just as cute as her that I'm having fun and easily talk to. I know one has a boyfriend, and if they other two are single (which I hope) the probably get asked a lot more than she does. I'm sure lots of guys have tried to get to know her but they eventually gave up because of her personality.

 

It all comes down to projecting an aire of openness and trying to engage in conversation.

[FrostBlaze]

Men only see that women have it so much easier and blah blah blah from their own perspective, because that's what men want.

 

Yes, women have desperate losers hitting on them for sex constantly, but women want commitment and relationships, so they are not getting what THEY want. From a man's perspective of course it's paradise since men would love to have the options women have (any woman can walk into a bar and ask "who is DTF" and probably half the men in the bar would jump at the chance immediately if she is halfway decent looking. If a man did the same, at best he'd get deafening yawns, and punches in the face at worst.)

 

So what if women can get sex anytime they want if that's not what they REALLY want? That's like saying a man is lucky because he got some charming entertaining conversation with a woman (i.e. not what the man REALLY wants either). Another example is if men were approached by fatties and uglies and dykes.....yeah, in theory they have women hitting on them, but not the type of women they want.

 

These 2 examples should make men understand women's struggles and make them more empathetic. You're welcome.

My cousin is like that and...based on my previous post, it is not as you say .

She is good company i give her that, even i enjoy it.

Not going to comment further on what i think is wrong with what u just said,

the first bolded part is all i agree too.

This post gave me cancer.

[Negative Nancy]

This post gave me cancer.

 

Yeah, obviously brain cancer, which explains the garbage in your post.

[FrostBlaze]

Yeah, obviously brain cancer, which explains the garbage in your post.

Might have, still i don't see how that would affect my cognitive capabilities. But i'm sure it made my kidney cancer worse .

Hahaha, Please elaborate on the garbage i posted.

Edited March 20, 2014 by FrostBlaze

[crosswordfiend]

I think when men say women have it easier, what they are really saying is that the women they notice have it easier. They aren't paying attention to the travails of the women who aren't on their radar, because they aren't on their radar…

[ThaWholigan]

I think when men say women have it easier, what they are really saying is that the women they notice have it easier. They aren't paying attention to the travails of the women who aren't on their radar, because they aren't on their radar…

Perception is reality: people see what they want to see

[somedude81]

Heh, there is a girl I know that's shorter and heavier than I am, doesn't have much of a face to look at either, and I bet she has a much easier time dating than I do.

 

Heck, she's currently in a relationship while I'm not

[ThaWholigan]

Point proven

[Truthsayer]

I honestly can't see how almost every guy posting can't see that women OVERALL have is easier in the dating game. For the women who don't see it I understand. You have never been a man and I have never been a woman. Unless women have just been throwing the panties at you take a look around. Most guys get rejected alot. So constantly trying to see if someone likes you (when it's obvious you like her) and that's not working, is the very definition of difficult.

[pickflicker]

I be the kind of person I want to meet. I be the best person that I can be. That's the best thing I can do for the opposite sex. I'm not interested in the pity party of how hard dating is. The fact that we - all of us on here - have the right to choose whom we want to date, is opportunity enough. If you're not making the best of that, it's not a gender issue. It's a you issue.

[2.50 a gallon]

aa45

 

 

By just talking with them you can learn a great deal. How to make them laugh. What kinds of movies do they like? Tough Guy Action? Science Fiction, Suspense, Romantic. What foods do they like? Chinese, Mexican. What kinds of food have they never tried. Thai, Sushi. What kinds of music do they like? How do they like to have fun? What kinds of things have they wanted to try but never have. Fishing, Ball Room Dancing? Are they animal lovers? Dog or Cat? What are the names of their pets.

[2.50 a gallon]

sd

 

"none of them are 'good enough"

 

You don't get it. Have you ever thought that maybe of the 10 guys, that she finds none of them to be attractive.

 

And if she did go out with some of them, even though she did not find them to be attractive, then you would accuse her of using them

 

What most men do not understand is what women find to be attractive in a man.

 

Most men judge a woman's attractiveness on her looks, her sexuality and can't understand that a woman looks for other qualities in a man.

 

No doubt women judge a man's attractiveness on his looks, but they don't stop there. His intelligence, self assuredness, confidence, his out look on life, his playfulness, his life interests, generally out strip what he looks like.

 

Example, a cute, good looking girl that I once knew, who had all kinds of guys chasing her ended up falling in love and marrying a guy who had a Gorbachev spot. And it was not a tiny one. It covered a great deal of one side of his face from above the eye to down on his cheek. It's not that she was blind, she saw it, but also saw that he didn't let it bother him. He went on living his life, and had the balls to ask her out.

 

The relationship prior to the one I am in now, was with a women who had a Mensa intelligence. Not only that, she was career driven and very successful. She was very good looking, worked out, liked to walk, had a great body, with for real buns of steel. She had degrees from Berkley in microbiology, and chemistry, a minor in math, and then went back to school to get a Masters in computer science. She was a soft ware engineer, and still a couple of years shy of turning 30.

 

She had a problem with dating as most guys were afraid of her.

[crosswordfiend]

Have we considered the following line of thought?

 

A man asking out a woman his is interested in getting to know better :: A woman trying to attract the attention of a man she is interested in getting to know better

 

This means that:

 

A woman being asked about by a man she has no interest in :: A man asking out a woman he has no interest in

 

I think the typical guy would not even think to ask out a woman he wasn't at least slightly attracted to. This is why it is difficult for some guys to empathize with dating from a female perspective.

[topaMAXX]

sd

 

"none of them are 'good enough"

 

You don't get it. Have you ever thought that maybe of the 10 guys, that she finds none of them to be attractive.

 

And if she did go out with some of them, even though she did not find them to be attractive, then you would accuse her of using them

 

What most men do not understand is what women find to be attractive in a man.

 

Most men judge a woman's attractiveness on her looks, her sexuality and can't understand that a woman looks for other qualities in a man.

 

No doubt women judge a man's attractiveness on his looks, but they don't stop there. His intelligence, self assuredness, confidence, his out look on life, his playfulness, his life interests, generally out strip what he looks like.

 

Example, a cute, good looking girl that I once knew, who had all kinds of guys chasing her ended up falling in love and marrying a guy who had a Gorbachev spot. And it was not a tiny one. It covered a great deal of one side of his face from above the eye to down on his cheek. It's not that she was blind, she saw it, but also saw that he didn't let it bother him. He went on living his life, and had the balls to ask her out.

 

The relationship prior to the one I am in now, was with a women who had a Mensa intelligence. Not only that, she was career driven and very successful. She was very good looking, worked out, liked to walk, had a great body, with for real buns of steel. She had degrees from Berkley in microbiology, and chemistry, a minor in math, and then went back to school to get a Masters in computer science. She was a soft ware engineer, and still a couple of years shy of turning 30.

 

She had a problem with dating as most guys were afraid of her.

 

Yeah, I don't believe that girls like this actually exist (or if they do, there's like 5 of them lol).

 

A few months ago, I met a very attractive 34 year old woman with a good career at church. I asked her out a few weeks after meeting her. She rejected me (saying that we need to get to know each other better). Now, I'm a 26 year old, good-looking, friendly guy with a good job. I work out a lot and have a lot of hobbies. I certainly do attract interest from women other than her. My only major negative is that I'm short (which I believe is the reason she shot me down).

 

I got to know her over the past few months and she's a really sweet girl. I genuinely enjoy hanging out with her for reasons other than her looks (I've since mostly moved on from her romantically though). I've found that she talked to others and stated her desire to have a husband and kids.

 

I'm sure she gets approached a lot and she probably rejects a lot of guys because she's obviously very picky. It's not because guys are intimidated by her, but it's because she's picky.

[somedude81]

 

I'm sure she gets approached a lot and she probably rejects a lot of guys because she's obviously very picky. It's not because guys are intimidated by her, but it's because she's picky.

IMO that's what it all boils down to.

 

The women who are single for long periods of time, are just very picky.

 

I seriously doubt that they are not frequently getting asked out, unless they project "don't talk to me signals."

[SongOfMySelf]

This, I do not agree. I can understand their issues.

 

For me, I don't want to just have sex. I want to have sex with a woman I want who also want me.

 

Isn't this one of the biggest dating issues women have here? Last I checked it is.

 

And I understood that completely.

 

Whereas, for you, you just want sex. You don't want the commitment as badly as some women who post here wants.

 

So, no, life is not "easier" for women. It is if she just wants what you want, which is no commitment sex. Otherwise, she will catch the same hell any other non-casual sex male would deal with.

 

Anyone, male or female, who says "the other gender have it easier" truly don't understand.....and I don't have faith that they will anytime soon, if at all.

 

It depends on how old the woman or the man is. When the woman is she def. has it much better in the dating world. Many, many women in their 20's aren't interested in commitment. I've met many women who were all up for meeting random good-looking men and they'd have ONS with them, and when they wanted relationships they could find them, sometimes with good-looking men, sometimes with average-looking men.

 

Even the below-average women had boyfriends, maybe not the 22 year old James dean, but they could find someone who wasn't too ugly/short. On the other hand I've met very few men in college who had girlfriends at the time.

 

Men in their 30's have more a chance in finding women, but women in their 30s are very forgiving on what they want. They'll pick a man if he's stable and has a steady job, but there's not much interest for him there and he'll pay dearly for the sexual interaction.

 

I guess I'm saing that women have it far better ,always .

[ThaWholigan]

:laugh: