Men being able to cook an attraction for women?

[irc333]

Funny KathyM, you seem to be the only one here that doesn't downplay certain abilities or talents like the others on here have. lol

 

But, it was more than just cooking that impressed my friends at the party and such, but me as well. I suppose they know me better than strangers on the internet and are able to be intuitive enough to see than I'm a good catch. You can only tell so much by someone the internet while real life trumps that. ;-)

 

 

Yes! Definately! The ability to dance well impresses many women. Dancing also was something that impressed me about my husband when we were dating, and one of my favorite things to do with my husband when we were dating was going dancing. We would go dancing every weekend. In fact, this was the reason my sister married her second husband. He was such a great dancer and this was their favorite thing to do together also. In fact, she had reservations about him as a long term partner for other reasons, but his dancing ability won her over. Not a wise plan on her part in the long run, as he ended up cheating on her and there were red flags when they were dating that she should have paid more attention to, but his dancing ability was what made her fall in love with him, because they had so much fun together doing it.

 

 

And you know what they say about a man who can dance . . .

 

 

 

Being a decent cook is nice, but I wouldn't accent it as a skill unless you absolutely love to cook and are actually really decent at it.

 

Actually, some of the recipes I use don't take much skill, but its funny how people can so easily be impressed by even the simpler things. Its the "littling things" that count. ;-)

 

Sure its attractive to some women, but it doesn't help you much. If some woman loves that you can cook, guess what! you're going to be cooking. Hope you like cooking. I do like cooking but I want to meet a woman who is better at cooking than me.

 

Well...that's YOU then. ;-)

Edited March 3, 2014 by irc333

[Els]

Sure its attractive to some women, but it doesn't help you much. If some woman loves that you can cook, guess what! you're going to be cooking. Hope you like cooking. I do like cooking but I want to meet a woman who is better at cooking than me. I don't want to be stuck in a relationship where I have a honey do list every morning. Don't give yourself the reputation of being a skilled work horse or that is what you will become.

 

Hopefully you enjoy either 1) doing the dishes, 2) getting takeaway every other day, or 3) being the primary breadwinner, then, otherwise yours is going to be a short and miserable relationship.

[gaius]

I totally get "why" you're still single.

Because he puts up with it when a woman makes a smarmy comment like this? Poor irc, I thought his question was pretty legitimate.

 

I don't think it's a huge deal either way. If food preperation falls on you you can always make something like a pb&j sandwich which doesn't take much skill. There are so many easy recipes on the internet now too, cooking isn't a skill you have to put major time into developing in order to get decent results.

 

I doubt KathyM is really thinking about the pulled pork sandwich when she's gearing up for sexy time. They probably have a deeper connection that made her pick him and the good cooking was just a nice extra. Despite what she said.

[irc333]

Because he puts up with it when a woman makes a smarmy comment like this?

 

Nah, its easier for them to say it on here, because they'd never say it to my face. ;-)

[adria37]

I absolutely look for that in a man/mate/partner. I am a disaster in the kitchen and own 2 pots. Family dinners I bring drinks or condiments. might be why at 49 years old I am single.

[Content]

IRC from reading your repititive threads over the years its easy to see your problem, you treat attraction like a mathmetical equation: i can do x y z which means women should be attracted to me it doesnt work like that attraction is raw animalistic and not logical just because you have some good traits like cooking doesnt alone create attraction.

 

You probably dont flirt alot you need to show youre a virile red blooded man that makes a womens eggs want to mate with you,you probably just talk about mutual interests and think thats enough to create attraciton when thats more condsuive to creating a friendship.

 

You need to let your hair down and take some chances and be sexual

[KathyM]

Poor irc, I thought his question was pretty legitimate.

Yes, it was legitimate, and people find a way to pick on him for it. *sad smiley*. Any way that he can develop traits that appeal to women, whether it be cultivating his cooking skills, dancing, or something else, is a positive and should be encouraged. The women at the party encouraged him.

I doubt KathyM is really thinking about the pulled pork sandwich when she's gearing up for sexy time. They probably have a deeper connection that made her pick him and the good cooking was just a nice extra. Despite what she said.

Actually, eating that pulled pork sandwich made me want to jump his bones right then and there, but the kids were closeby, so I had to restrain myself. *winks*. Seriously, my husband cooking in the kitchen is a huge turn on, and I usually end up going to the kitchen to carress him when he's cooking. He feels the same way when I'm cooking. He usually comes to grope me while I'm cooking, or try to remove clothing. I had to stop Christmas dinner preparation last Christmas halfway through to have a quicky because his seduction was too hard to resist. (Sorry if that is TMI).

 

 

But you are right that there were a combination of things that made me want to marry him: first and foremost, his character was what impressed me the most about him. His intelligence. His good manners and charm. His sweet, yet mysterious, personality. The fact that he was good at many things (dancing, sports, cooking, etc.). He liked to do many of the same things I liked to do. I was also impressed at how well/tidy he kept up his apartment. He had ambition, and was in graduate school. He was also handsome and had an amazing body because weight lifting and fitness was one of his hobbies. My previous boyfriend was also attractive, intelligent, with great hobbies and common interests, but I dumped him because he didn't have the character I was looking for in a man. My point being that developing one's skills and interests is a plus in attracting a mate, and the more you have to offer, the more success you will have in dating and finding a relationship partner. Dancing is a skill that women value. So is cooking.

[Scales]

Why should men not do household chores? Women typically have full time jobs outside the home AND chores inside the home. Why should men be any different? The days of women having an outside full-time job AND doing all the household work is over. This is 2014. Real men in today's world realize they'll need to do both as well, or they are going to have a pretty unhappy, overworked wife at home. My ex brother-in-law had the attitude that, as long as he worked outside the home, he wasn't going to lift a finger in the home. That attitude damaged their marriage. Women don't put up with chauvanist males anymore who won't lift a finger around the house.

 

My sister married a nice guy sweet heart two years ago and is very happy with him. Her ex was a biker. My niece is about to marry a nice guy sweetheart also. Nice guys finishing last is a myth.

 

These women DID take action to help him. The host invited him to her party, introduced him to her friend, and raved about his cooking skills to everyone at the party. I think that IS helping him.

 

Marriage is certainly about equality, which I why I look for women who do not expect me to do all the work for them which what my post was about. Seeing as how I do all my own cleaning, dishes, and cooking by myself I look for that in someone else. I am the guy who whips up healthy stuff quickly. I do not need my girlfriend/wife coming up with things she thinks I "should" do because most of the time I am already doing them. If you think the right not to be nagged is chauvinist I can't help you. The fact that you used the term "real men" nullifies your argument anyways.

 

Hopefully you enjoy either 1) doing the dishes, 2) getting takeaway every other day, or 3) being the primary breadwinner, then, otherwise yours is going to be a short and miserable relationship.

 

So apparently me saying I want a girl to cook better than me means I don't want to cook? Pulling straws much? I do enjoy cooking because without it you can't be healthy. It is that fact exactly why I wont bother with women who can't cook a few things at least because I will be doing it all for her. Its about sharing workloads and maximizing your skills to get everything done while enjoying your free time. Is it wrong of me to want a girl who works just as hard as me? The kind that helps shovel the snow instead of telling me to go do it while she watches the view?

[Omei]

Nah, its easier for them to say it on here, because they'd never say it to my face. ;-)

 

I'd totally say it to your face by your posts of consitaint complaint on woman, I picture a relationship with you would be extremely nit picky and controlling.

[MsOptimist]

I LOVE a man that can cook! I've always been a foodie-wannabe and love food and eat a lot because I run a lot. I've never been a great cook, just lacked confidence in the kitchen, but I'm starting to cook a lot more since my divorce.

 

My exH was the total opposite of me when it came to food, he never wanted to try new things and food to him was a requirement and not an enjoyment.

 

My bf is an AMAZING cook and I pretty much think it's one of the hottest things on the planet I love all kinds of food, and experimenting with new foods, so he is teaching me a lot and we have a lot of unique dining experiences both at home and trying new restaurants.

 

I was surprised to hear from him that the previous women he dated didn't like that non-alpha male quality in him. He's very masculine overall, but he loves to cook (and watch Food Network) and is an affectionate and emotional guy (love and love). He felt like women were turned off by that. NOT ME!

[KathyM]

Marriage is certainly about equality, which I why I look for women who do not expect me to do all the work for them which what my post was about. Seeing as how I do all my own cleaning, dishes, and cooking by myself I look for that in someone else. I am the guy who whips up healthy stuff quickly. I do not need my girlfriend/wife coming up with things she thinks I "should" do because most of the time I am already doing them. If you think the right not to be nagged is chauvinist I can't help you. The fact that you used the term "real men" nullifies your argument anyways.

I never said a person should be nagged or pressured to cook. I only said that, when a man is willing to cook for his partner, that is an attractive quality that appeals to women. You were warning him NOT to do it because then the woman would expect it and somehow turn him into a workhorse, as if he would be the only one contributing to the relationship/household. What is chauvanistic is refusing or failing to help with any household chores, and thinking it's the woman's job to do all of that. That is the way your post came across when you were warning the OP not to show this side of him, lest the woman might think he is capable of doing some of it.

 

 

As far as "real men", real men are not afraid to show their beta side, and their masculinity is not threatened by showing beta skills.

[hasaquestion]

I never said a person should be nagged or pressured to cook. I only said that, when a man is willing to cook for his partner, that is an attractive quality that appeals to women. You were warning him NOT to do it because then the woman would expect it and somehow turn him into a workhorse, as if he would be the only one contributing to the relationship/household. What is chauvanistic is refusing or failing to help with any household chores, and thinking it's the woman's job to do all of that. That is the way your post came across when you were warning the OP not to show this side of him, lest the woman might think he is capable of doing some of it.

 

 

As far as "real men", real men are not afraid to show their beta side, and their masculinity is not threatened by showing beta skills.

 

Well there's no "standard" because it depends on who has which responsibilities.

 

In the house I grew up in, where my father made all the money, that he should not be doing any chores was to be expected. I don't think that's chauvinistic. The fairest apportionment of responsibilities was one where when he came home, he had none.

 

But in a modern household where you have both parties contributing equally professionally, then the fairest thing is that they contribute equally in the household.

[TheBladeRunner]

Yeah, these questions are getting ridiculous......"Why do woman on OLD reject me" will be the next question. If you're having that much of a tough time maybe you should take a break.

 

Ooh, I have one......"Why do people use OLD" or "Why do woman on OLD drive blue economy cars"?.......Ridiculous!

[Shepp]

Disill, and what's the trend with this silly "Kale" stuff....I recall a woman saying, "I like to eat kale...even before it was popular!"

 

As if it was something to brag about. ;-)

 

Kale's great......bake it in the oven and it goes like crisps!

[tbf]

As with your choice of casserole instead of a more elegant dish, attraction is similar. You point to concrete, as if attraction can be manufactured like a dish where instead, chemistry will not care how many jalapenos used, only the flame of sexual heat.

[regine_phalange]

It does not create extra attraction, but it's very appreciated. I melt with a man who tries to cook for me, but it's more the whole "I want to make regine happy" thing than the cooking itself. I have been happy to eat horrendous cooking, just because I had the unique sight of boyfriend in boxers, slippers and apron, frying calamari with lots of salt and love, just for me.

[irc333]

Thank you, KathyM,

 

This is actually one of my new activities which I've started to enjoy, esp. being able to achieve the goal of making a not-so-complex method of cooking up something that tastes so good!

 

That's the ultimate goal, though I've found making chocolate chip cheese cake quite challenging, but I've managed that too, the price of cream cheese is kind of up there. Also, baking is known to be more difficult than cooking...you have to be more precise.

 

Though I'm a novice at it, I am quite excited about it, esp. since I've received compliments from my peers among having them known me for a time personality-wise.

 

I also love making chili!

 

 

Yes, it was legitimate, and people find a way to pick on him for it. *sad smiley*. Any way that he can develop traits that appeal to women, whether it be cultivating his cooking skills, dancing, or something else, is a positive and should be encouraged. The women at the party encouraged him.

 

Actually, eating that pulled pork sandwich made me want to jump his bones right then and there, but the kids were closeby, so I had to restrain myself. *winks*. Seriously, my husband cooking in the kitchen is a huge turn on, and I usually end up going to the kitchen to carress him when he's cooking. He feels the same way when I'm cooking. He usually comes to grope me while I'm cooking, or try to remove clothing. I had to stop Christmas dinner preparation last Christmas halfway through to have a quicky because his seduction was too hard to resist. (Sorry if that is TMI).

 

 

But you are right that there were a combination of things that made me want to marry him: first and foremost, his character was what impressed me the most about him. His intelligence. His good manners and charm. His sweet, yet mysterious, personality. The fact that he was good at many things (dancing, sports, cooking, etc.). He liked to do many of the same things I liked to do. I was also impressed at how well/tidy he kept up his apartment. He had ambition, and was in graduate school. He was also handsome and had an amazing body because weight lifting and fitness was one of his hobbies. My previous boyfriend was also attractive, intelligent, with great hobbies and common interests, but I dumped him because he didn't have the character I was looking for in a man. My point being that developing one's skills and interests is a plus in attracting a mate, and the more you have to offer, the more success you will have in dating and finding a relationship partner. Dancing is a skill that women value. So is cooking.

[irc333]

Also....the ability to cook, dance, etc, those that kind of tie into romance also can tie into other aspects of his personality as well.

 

They figure if he's good at cooking, as most men aren't much for cooking, that he has other things going for him. Same with the ability to salsa, play music, other talents, etc.

 

They figure that this could indicate or be a litmus test other aspects of his personality.

 

 

 

Yes, it was legitimate, and people find a way to pick on him for it. *sad smiley*. Any way that he can develop traits that appeal to women, whether it be cultivating his cooking skills, dancing, or something else, is a positive and should be encouraged. The women at the party encouraged him.

 

Actually, eating that pulled pork sandwich made me want to jump his bones right then and there, but the kids were closeby, so I had to restrain myself. *winks*. Seriously, my husband cooking in the kitchen is a huge turn on, and I usually end up going to the kitchen to carress him when he's cooking. He feels the same way when I'm cooking. He usually comes to grope me while I'm cooking, or try to remove clothing. I had to stop Christmas dinner preparation last Christmas halfway through to have a quicky because his seduction was too hard to resist. (Sorry if that is TMI).

 

 

But you are right that there were a combination of things that made me want to marry him: first and foremost, his character was what impressed me the most about him. His intelligence. His good manners and charm. His sweet, yet mysterious, personality. The fact that he was good at many things (dancing, sports, cooking, etc.). He liked to do many of the same things I liked to do. I was also impressed at how well/tidy he kept up his apartment. He had ambition, and was in graduate school. He was also handsome and had an amazing body because weight lifting and fitness was one of his hobbies. My previous boyfriend was also attractive, intelligent, with great hobbies and common interests, but I dumped him because he didn't have the character I was looking for in a man. My point being that developing one's skills and interests is a plus in attracting a mate, and the more you have to offer, the more success you will have in dating and finding a relationship partner. Dancing is a skill that women value. So is cooking.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

It would be a plus if a man knows how to cook well but not necessary. I really enjoy cooking so I'm totally fine with my man not cooking at all!

[lino]

I'm a very good cook and noticed that only older, married women are impressed by it.

 

Women in my age category and below don't seem to give a sh*t.

[irc333]

I'm a very good cook and noticed that only older, married women are impressed by it.

 

Women in my age category and below don't seem to give a sh*t.

 

 

What is your age category, if you don't mind me asking?

 

The ones who DID seem impressed with my cooking, I would gather they're in their 50s.

[KathyM]

Well there's no "standard" because it depends on who has which responsibilities.

 

In the house I grew up in, where my father made all the money, that he should not be doing any chores was to be expected. I don't think that's chauvinistic. The fairest apportionment of responsibilities was one where when he came home, he had none.

 

But in a modern household where you have both parties contributing equally professionally, then the fairest thing is that they contribute equally in the household.

What is chauvanistic is when a man thinks that he should not have to do any chores, even though his wife works outside the home, or when he thinks certain chores must be done by women only and are beneath him, such as cooking, cleaning and child care.

[KathyM]

Also....the ability to cook, dance, etc, those that kind of tie into romance also can tie into other aspects of his personality as well.

 

They figure if he's good at cooking, as most men aren't much for cooking, that he has other things going for him. Same with the ability to salsa, play music, other talents, etc.

 

They figure that this could indicate or be a litmus test other aspects of his personality.

Well, don't get me started on what a chick magnet being able to sing or play an instrument well is. My sister fell in love with her husband's beautiful singing voice. Her former boyfriend was a professional musician, and she would love to spend an evening listening to him play his instrument.

[KathyM]

And athletic ability. Lots of women really admire men who are good at sports. My kids were jocks in high school and had some groupies because of that, who they ended up dating.

[KathyM]

What is your age category, if you don't mind me asking?

 

The ones who DID seem impressed with my cooking, I would gather they're in their 50s.

I was only 18 when I started dating my husband, and his cooking skills impressed me even then. My daughter-in-law was 21 when she started dating my son, and was impressed how well and quickly he could whip up something good to eat. My 22 year old son impresses the girls in his social group when he can bring something he's cooked to their parties. Now his roommate has started to cook for his girlfriend, and she really appreciates it. They are 23. This is not a quality only middle aged people appreciate.