Silver93 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Hi, I am a 20 year old male. I have never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl and I have been interested in girls for years which makes me feel sad and frustrated at times. I would consider myself to be kind, friendly, caring and honest but I am also shy. My confidence is also very low. I feel that I would not be good enough for the girls that I like. I was very shy when I was younger which means that all the girls that I know see me as being quiet and boring which I am anything but when you get to know me. I feel like I am missing out and I would love to be more comfortable around girls but I struggle. I am looking for advice because I am sick of feeling down and frustrated about it and I worry that I will miss opportunities when it comes to meeting girls. Thanks
somedude81 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/461731-why-can-t-i-get-gf http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/462429-shy-guy-needs-advice http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/461843-23-year-old-male-never-had-date-girlfriend-ofcourse-virgin http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/461674-would-you-date-25-year-old-man-who-has-never-had-girlfriend http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/462055-seriously-useless-how-do-i-meet-girl http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/461187-where-do-people-find-dates Plenty of threads on that subject. 1
Noproblem Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Well, half of the way to find solutions is knowing the problem Your problem is for now shyness Work on that problem. Other things which can help is taking care of your physical look. Working out, wearing nice cloths Girls love guys who look attractive 1
d0nnivain Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 If you have any sisters or close female friends ask them to give you an honest evaluation. You may be doing something that you aren't aware of. Asking them to fix you up is a good idea too.
TaraMaiden Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Hi, I am a 20 year old male. I have never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl and I have been interested in girls for years which makes me feel sad and frustrated at times. I would consider myself to be kind, friendly, caring and honest but I am also shy. My confidence is also very low. I feel that I would not be good enough for the girls that I like. I was very shy when I was younger which means that all the girls that I know see me as being quiet and boring which I am anything but when you get to know me. I feel like I am missing out and I would love to be more comfortable around girls but I struggle. I am looking for advice because I am sick of feeling down and frustrated about it and I worry that I will miss opportunities when it comes to meeting girls. Thanks Silver, you need to get your head sorted, first. OCD isn't healthy, and the thing you're OCD about is also prone to bring you problems. Given your 'celibate until marriage' thread yesterday, I'm kinda surprised you're posting this....
Author Silver93 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Posted February 23, 2014 If you have any sisters or close female friends ask them to give you an honest evaluation. You may be doing something that you aren't aware of. Asking them to fix you up is a good idea too. I have no sisters and I have never had a female friend.
Author Silver93 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Posted February 23, 2014 Silver, you need to get your head sorted, first. OCD isn't healthy, and the thing you're OCD about is also prone to bring you problems. Given your 'celibate until marriage' thread yesterday, I'm kinda surprised you're posting this.... I feel like I need to get up and do something about my struggles meeting girls. This hasn't got much to do with my OCD but more to do with my shyness.
Hornylildevil Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 I feel like I need to get up and do something about my struggles meeting girls. This hasn't got much to do with my OCD but more to do with my shyness. As I've stated in other posts, I'm almost 47 and STILL struggle with shyness and it SUCKS! BUT! It can be minimized. Not without struggle, however. The ONLY way to get over shyness is to talk to girls. Next time you're in a line at a store, whatever, look at what the woman has in her shopping cart. Let's say she has soy milk in her cart. Ask her how she likes it, that you've heard about the health benefits of it and are wondering how difficult the transition is from real milk to soy milk is. Get the idea? Do this with 3 women a day and in a month, you'll find yourself LESS shy but in my case, I don't think I'll ever be totally over my shyness. And your confidence? How we talk to ourselves plays a HUGE part on how we view ourselves. Tell yourself everyday that you're a worm, unworthy of a woman's attention, and how do you think you'll perceive yourself? Tell yourself your smart, funny, interesting and confident with the WORLD, not just women, and how do you think you'll view yourself after 30 days? Try both techniques for 30 days and if you don't see results, I'll cheerfully refund your money! 2
Author Silver93 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Posted February 23, 2014 As I've stated in other posts, I'm almost 47 and STILL struggle with shyness and it SUCKS! BUT! It can be minimized. Not without struggle, however. The ONLY way to get over shyness is to talk to girls. Next time you're in a line at a store, whatever, look at what the woman has in her shopping cart. Let's say she has soy milk in her cart. Ask her how she likes it, that you've heard about the health benefits of it and are wondering how difficult the transition is from real milk to soy milk is. Get the idea? Do this with 3 women a day and in a month, you'll find yourself LESS shy but in my case, I don't think I'll ever be totally over my shyness. And your confidence? How we talk to ourselves plays a HUGE part on how we view ourselves. Tell yourself everyday that you're a worm, unworthy of a woman's attention, and how do you think you'll perceive yourself? Tell yourself your smart, funny, interesting and confident with the WORLD, not just women, and how do you think you'll view yourself after 30 days? Try both techniques for 30 days and if you don't see results, I'll cheerfully refund your money! Thanks for the advice, I agree that just talking to girls will improve my situation a lot but it is easier said than done.
Hornylildevil Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Thanks for the advice, I agree that just talking to girls will improve my situation a lot but it is easier said than done. I KNOW it's easier said than done but do you really want to look back and be MY age and live with my regrets? Trust me, you don't. It DOES get easier but only by putting yourself out there. Just try it. For 30 days. Let us now how you feel about yourself and how it went after 30 days.
Author Silver93 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Posted February 23, 2014 I KNOW it's easier said than done but do you really want to look back and be MY age and live with my regrets? Trust me, you don't. It DOES get easier but only by putting yourself out there. Just try it. For 30 days. Let us now how you feel about yourself and how it went after 30 days. One problem I have is that I am currently studying from home and all the girls my age are away at college so I have very few opportunities.
Hornylildevil Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 One problem I have is that I am currently studying from home and all the girls my age are away at college so I have very few opportunities. Do you live in the Gobi desert? Hey, I live in the country. But when I'm out in town, I try to practice flirting with as many people as I can when I'm in town. You're making excuses, young man. And when you practice flirting, you practice with EVERYONE, men and women. No, I don't mean blow kisses at the mechanic working on your car. Flirting is really nothing more than playing with people, making them laugh and making them feel good about themselves and brightening their day. QUIT making excuses!
Author Silver93 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Posted February 23, 2014 Do you live in the Gobi desert? Hey, I live in the country. But when I'm out in town, I try to practice flirting with as many people as I can when I'm in town. You're making excuses, young man. And when you practice flirting, you practice with EVERYONE, men and women. No, I don't mean blow kisses at the mechanic working on your car. Flirting is really nothing more than playing with people, making them laugh and making them feel good about themselves and brightening their day. QUIT making excuses! I know what ya mean but I have no problem talking to women that are older or younger than me. It is the girls that are around my age and I don't get many opportunities to do this.
Hornylildevil Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Silver, one more thing; if and WHEN you get rejected, do NOT take it personally! All it means is that THAT women rejected you, not that ALL women have rejected you. I made that mistake in high school and it set me back for many years.
Hornylildevil Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 I know what ya mean but I have no problem talking to women that are older or younger than me. It is the girls that are around my age and I don't get many opportunities to do this. What did I just say?! You practice with EVERYONE until it becomes easy/ easier. THAT ^ is more excuse making. Wanna now how I met my ex wife? I was 19 and she was 18, btw...
Author Silver93 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Posted February 23, 2014 What did I just say?! You practice with EVERYONE until it becomes easy/ easier. THAT ^ is more excuse making. Wanna now how I met my ex wife? I was 19 and she was 18, btw... I do see your point but I don't find talking to everyone helps me with the girls my own age.
TaraMaiden Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 Silver, is this part of your OCD...? because it's akin to an under-the-bridge dweller...
Author Silver93 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Posted February 23, 2014 Silver, is this part of your OCD...? because it's akin to an under-the-bridge dweller... No it is due to my severe frustration. I can tell you that I have been interested in girls since I was 8 which means that for 12 years I have admired them from afar and I am just ABSOLUTELY SICK of watching from the sidelines and I don't know what other way to improve my situation. I do not have one female friend and it is not with the want of trying. I try speaking to girls but they never seem to want to reciprocate. I would treat a girl brilliantly if they got to know me but not many try. Recently it has me REALLY down.
Hornylildevil Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 What did I just say?! You practice with EVERYONE until it becomes easy/ easier. THAT ^ is more excuse making. Wanna now how I met my ex wife? I was 19 and she was 18, btw... I guess not, lol!
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