somedude81 Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I've had plenty of failures too, man. Probably more failures than successes, in fact. That's not surprising at all. Though I think it's important to have a decent amount of success. Considering all the women I've liked and tried to date and how many I've been in a relationship with, I'm looking at a 0.05% success rate. Which is also a 99.95% failure rate. When it comes to women, it only takes one success to make all of the failures worth it. The answer to that is, it depends. If you have one success, and she becomes your wife and is with you till the day you die, that is a smashing success. If your one success is a girlfriend that is only with you for six months, and you're alone for the rest of your life. Then no, that one success wasn't enough to rule out all the failures. Didn't you just get out of a relationship? That can be defined as a success.Yup, I agree with you. But it took me until I was 31 to get my first girlfriend. I feel that I got a significant confidence boost from being with her, but as I'm still devastated from her breaking up with me, I don't know how it will affect my future success with women. Results are to be determined. Maybe, but I know short ugly guys that are in relationships with reasonably attractive girls.What kind of magic do they know?! That goes against everything I'm saying. I'd like to see more examples of that in my life. As I said, I think your attitude and confidence play a big part in your lack of success.How much confidence does the average 13-17 year old kid have? If you had two identical teenagers one got a girlfriend while the other didn't, I can practically guarantee that the one that had the girlfriend would be more confident than the one that didn't. Success and attitude/confidence are in a positive feedback loop. Have success, you will get more confidence, which will cause you to have more success and so on. Personally, I got a lot more confident when my career took off It's also worth mentioning that I got off to a very rocky start in my career and I was in a bad place. I was placed in an extremely difficult situation, pushed through it, and overcame it. Adversity builds character and confidence. Have you had any true adversity?Yeah, I do feel that my confidence is being held back because I'm 32 and still stuck in college. I would be much more confident if I was working and felt like an actual adult. Yes I have felt much adversity, but that's pretty much all I've dealt with. Very few good things happen to me, and I feel like life is beating me down. The only good thing that's happened to me in the past five yeas is getting a girlfriend, and that only lasted six months. Speaking of adversity, I was dumped, formally dismissed from my college and developed shingles all within a period of two months. (though I seemed confident before, I was mostly faking it.....faking it does attract women though). Ha! How do you think I attracted my ex I think it matters a little, but not as much as people seem to think. Of course I will never know what it's like to be tall, but I do know that I got way less girls (and way lower quality girls) when I was down on myself and life. Yeah, we will never know what it's like to be tall. I do believe it matters more than you think. Though you are right that when you are feeling down, you don't do as well with women. That's the whole feedback loop thing. When was the last time you talked to a girl? Yesterday. I'm taking a dance class at my college and there are four girls I'm trying to work on. Though I just learned that one of them has a boyfriend. I'm going to focus on the other three and see if I can start something. I might also start talking to a girl in my business class. I just started sitting next to her, but the class doesn't lent itself as well to conversation as a dance class does. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I'm taking a dance class at my college and there are four girls I'm trying to work on. Though I just learned that one of them has a boyfriend. I'm going to focus on the other three and see if I can start something. I might also start talking to a girl in my business class. I just started sitting next to her, but the class doesn't lent itself as well to conversation as a dance class does. This is your problem, how do you not see it? Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I agree with the short man debate though, that women talk about how undesirable short men are, then wonder why on earth they're insecure. To be fair, I've almost never come across this IRL. Obviously if one logs into LS, and then makes the further decision to step into a height thread and read selective posts, ignoring the ones who say that height is irrelevant to them (about half of the women on this thread said that btw)... what should they expect? Plenty of non-tall guys aren't insecure about themselves and are thus quite attractive. My guy is one of them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 This is your problem, how do you not see it? Sorry, I don't see it. What problem? Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Sorry, I don't see it. What problem? Women are people, not objects. I'm sure these women would be flattered to know they are 1/4 or more you're "working on" in front of the others. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Women are people, not objects. I'm sure these women would be flattered to know they are 1/4 or more you're "working on" in front of the others. Huh? You have got to be kidding. Do you seriously believe that a woman will be offended if she sees me talking to other women?? That's some real lame white knight crap. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Huh? You have got to be kidding. Do you seriously believe that a woman will be offended if she sees me talking to other women?? That's some real lame white knight crap. If you're going up to every women in sight trying to pick them up, yes I can assure you they are going to be disgusted. There's a difference between simply talking to a women and trying to pick her up, and women aren't stupid. Your actions clearly demonstrate you see women as objects. Just wait and see what women here have to say about it...... 5 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 If you're going up to every women in sight trying to pick them up, yes I can assure you they are going to be disgusted. There's a difference between simply talking to a women and trying to pick her up, and women aren't stupid. Your actions clearly demonstrate you see women as objects. Just wait and see what women here have to say about it...... ROFL! You're ridiculous. Though it's obvious you don't have a clue what I'm talking about. Tone down the image in your mind of what you think I'm doing by about 60%, and then ask yourself if the woman would still be disgusted. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 To be fair, I've almost never come across this IRL. Obviously if one logs into LS, and then makes the further decision to step into a height thread and read selective posts, ignoring the ones who say that height is irrelevant to them (about half of the women on this thread said that btw)... what should they expect? Plenty of non-tall guys aren't insecure about themselves and are thus quite attractive. My guy is one of them. I see women talk about short or even chubby man in unflattering ways all the time. They are just as bad as when men talk about females they find unattractive. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 To be fair, I've almost never come across this IRL. Obviously if one logs into LS, and then makes the further decision to step into a height thread and read selective posts, ignoring the ones who say that height is irrelevant to them (about half of the women on this thread said that btw)... what should they expect? Plenty of non-tall guys aren't insecure about themselves and are thus quite attractive. My guy is one of them. Unfortunately, I see and hear it all the time IRL I've known plenty of confident short men and have found them attractive, I just agree with the idea that it's silly that the women who say short men aren't attractive would turn around in the same breath and say that they also don't like the insecurity. Like Somedude said, punch a dude and then wonder why he's hunched over 6 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Huh? You have got to be kidding. Do you seriously believe that a woman will be offended if she sees me talking to other women?? That's some real lame white knight crap. It's a turn off to me. It looks like the guy is trying to get somebody, anybody. The ones who give out business cards to any woman who gives the the time of day annoy me most. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I see women talk about short or even chubby man in unflattering ways all the time. They are just as bad as when men talk about females they find unattractive. Unfortunately, I see and hear it all the time IRL Different social circles, I'll wager... Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 ROFL! You're ridiculous. Though it's obvious you don't have a clue what I'm talking about. Tone down the image in your mind of what you think I'm doing by about 60%, and then ask yourself if the woman would still be disgusted. Yes. Suladas is right. You underestimate people around you all the time because half the time you don't understand their motives and therefore you assume they don't understand yours. While in fact many of the girls you talk to are probably smarter than you and see right through you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Different social circles, I'll wager... I hear it in the office all the time from women. It's not a social circle I can control obviously since they are not friends of mine but I'd say they probably give a more accurate representation of society since there is no selection. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I hear it in the office all the time from women. It's not a social circle I can control obviously since they are not friends of mine but I'd say they probably give a more accurate representation of society since there is no selection. Interesting. I do hear women fawn over tall guys, but almost never hear them put down or make fun of a guy for being short. My friends bitch about guys but it's usually about their behaviour (douches, jerks, etc), not height. I hear men make fun of women for being overweight much more often. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 It's a turn off to me. It looks like the guy is trying to get somebody, anybody. The ones who give out business cards to any woman who gives the the time of day annoy me most. Yep, this. I don't think there's anything 'wrong' with it necessarily, but it'd turn me off a guy hugely. I prefer men who are more discriminatory, not blatantly hitting on any attractive woman in a 10 yard radius. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Interesting. I do hear women fawn over tall guys, but almost never hear them put down or make fun of a guy for being short. My friends bitch about guys but it's usually about their behaviour (douches, jerks, etc), not height. I hear men make fun of women for being overweight much more often. With fairness they put them down for various reasons but they have an opinion on every guy in the office. The same is true the other way round too. Perhaps it's because I know older women than your circle. They are less timid, certainly more judgemental. Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 (edited) Evne women in my social circle who i respect have said things about short men i just think alot of women have no filter because unlike men who face repricussions and getting punched in the face when we say something stupid most women dont face those consequences so they could be even worse then men at times in public. The whole male height thing is a powerful dynamic how many times have you heard somebody say about a baby i hope he grows up tall or whatever,people just associate tall with good and short with negative things its really bizarre how women are brainwashed with that at an early age which i think plays some role later on imo in their attraction choices Edited February 21, 2014 by AD1980 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Different social circles, I'll wager... Its not even that. I overhear other groups of girls I don't know do this at times. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 It's a turn off to me. It looks like the guy is trying to get somebody, anybody. The ones who give out business cards to any woman who gives the the time of day annoy me most. Yes. Suladas is right. You underestimate people around you all the time because half the time you don't understand their motives and therefore you assume they don't understand yours. While in fact many of the girls you talk to are probably smarter than you and see right through you. Business cards, what the hell do you think I'm doing in this class? Let me spell it out for you. This is a dance class. Everybody is being social. There is no rule that guys can only talk and joke with one girl the entire semester. Many guys are seen talking to different girls when they aren't dancing. This is normal. I seriously doubt that Girl A who I'm trying to get to know and joke around with at the start of class, will be disgusted that I'm joking with Girl B 30 minutes later. If anything, isn't a guy more attractive when you see him talking to other girls who seem like they are having a good time, instead of him sitting by himself? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Members wishing to assist the thread starter in getting over her obsession for dating tall men can post to this thread. Members who wish to continue the general 'height' discussion not relevant to the thread starter's issue can do so here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/343363-consolidated-discussion-man-s-woman-s-height-search-relationships Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Yep, this. I don't think there's anything 'wrong' with it necessarily, but it'd turn me off a guy hugely. I prefer men who are more discriminatory, not blatantly hitting on any attractive woman in a 10 yard radius. Hey now...you know there is a time and a place, and this forum isn't one of them. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Business cards, what the hell do you think I'm doing in this class? Let me spell it out for you. This is a dance class. Everybody is being social. There is no rule that guys can only talk and joke with one girl the entire semester. Many guys are seen talking to different girls when they aren't dancing. This is normal. I seriously doubt that Girl A who I'm trying to get to know and joke around with at the start of class, will be disgusted that I'm joking with Girl B 30 minutes later. If anything, isn't a guy more attractive when you see him talking to other girls who seem like they are having a good time, instead of him sitting by himself? Nothing is wrong with being social. If you are pursuing more than one girl at a time, that's not attractive. It sounded like you were after four different girls in the same class. To you it seems like good strategy, to many women this is tactless. Girls want to feel special. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Yes. Suladas is right. You underestimate people around you all the time because half the time you don't understand their motives and therefore you assume they don't understand yours. While in fact many of the girls you talk to are probably smarter than you and see right through you. A women said i'm right about something? I guess there's a first for everything! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted February 22, 2014 Share Posted February 22, 2014 Nothing is wrong with being social. If you are pursuing more than one girl at a time, that's not attractive. It sounded like you were after four different girls in the same class. To you it seems like good strategy, to many women this is tactless. Girls want to feel special. Exactly and it was clearly stated he was just trying to go after them all, which is going to ruin you're odds with them all. Link to post Share on other sites
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