aliveagain Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 Extremely doubtful ... I have so many friends and contacts at her work place. It's difficult to see her being that stupid. Just think about her actions and then read this line again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DasPope Posted March 16, 2014 Author Share Posted March 16, 2014 [/b] Just think about her actions and then read this line again. I see what your saying but in reality anything out of the ordinary in her workplace would be difficult to conceal from the rest of the workplace as has occurred numerous times in the past with other workplace affairs or even hookups in that particular place they are never secret for long. And as I am plugged into that particular loop myself quite deeply I can confidently say that that would be the last place she would be doing anything and the first place I'd find out about it if she did. Her previous behaviors had to do with being presented with impetuous opportunity in circumstances that would limit the chance of discovery to remote at best. Her workplace and more specifically her current social limitations have now minimized those opportunities to fairly miniscule levels. And I'm abreast of what's going on practically 100% of the time. So even if I took her undertakings with a grain of salt (which I don't BTW I do believe her) I still really don't expect her to cheat again at least certainly not so soon after discovery and I'm confident that the real issue I'm struggling with (and I'm still really struggling) which is the casual almost flippant nature of the cheating (and the associated underlying lack of respect for our relationship that shows) can be dealt with over time. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Does your wife work for you directly or indirectly? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DasPope Posted March 17, 2014 Author Share Posted March 17, 2014 Does your wife work for you directly or indirectly? No but she works at a company that is a client of mine, has many employee's that are clients of mine and quite a few of them are long time friends of mine including the principles. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Do you know what her dating life was like before she was with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DasPope Posted March 18, 2014 Author Share Posted March 18, 2014 Do you know what her dating life was like before she was with you? Yes she's had really only two major relationships prior to me. Both lasting about 2 years. But as I said before she did have a history of having regular ONS and fairly short flings before we were together. Certainly not overly promiscuious for these times but certainly frequent. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 What do you feel she's been doing these past few weeks to earn your trust back? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DasPope Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 What do you feel she's been doing these past few weeks to earn your trust back? Well she's certainly not as tentative about regular day to day matters anymore and I think that's been great because it's allowed us to get back into a more normal relationship pattern. Some days nothing whatsoever will pop into my head about her infidelity and those are good days as we are relating like it never happened. But most days it will be something or other usually incredibly minor that will get me down and she's been incredibly supportive of my feelings. The counselling has helped us communicate better but it remains a learning curve for both of us. I have begun to seek some fairly specific answers to questions I have formed in my mind since d-day and I think it's fair to say that she is beginning to understand that generalisations are unsatisfactory answers to specific questions but in therapy I have learned that it is normal for the WS to try and minimise the pain their partner is feeling in this way. We have moved forward but probably less so in the past few weeks then the weeks previous. But we are still together, still committed and still love each other very much so the basics are very solid. Link to post Share on other sites
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