xxoo Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I guess I can upgrade later on, but I really don't like that thought. I'm looking for a serious long term relationship with a woman I'm attracted to mentally and physically. My ex turned me on so much and I don't know if I want to settle for a girl that I wouldn't get that feeling from just by seeing her naked. I'll have to think about this. You might be surprised. You may meet a woman who is attractive to you, but not "wow! she's so hot!", and she may become your whole world. You may grow to look at her as the hottest woman, because she is the one you love, and the flesh and blood woman actually rocking your world in bed. I think it's a really bad idea getting into a relationship with a woman who you feel is not who you really want. But a few dates to see if there is any spark is an excellent idea. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 14, 2014 Author Share Posted February 14, 2014 You might be surprised. You may meet a woman who is attractive to you, but not "wow! she's so hot!", and she may become your whole world. You may grow to look at her as the hottest woman, because she is the one you love, and the flesh and blood woman actually rocking your world in bed. I think it's a really bad idea getting into a relationship with a woman who you feel is not who you really want. But a few dates to see if there is any spark is an excellent idea. Should I try to go on dates with women I'm not attracted to but think that they look OK? Maybe I should just focus on my minimum body type standards and as long as the girl isn't ugly, I should ask her out. If all I'm looking for is something casual, then that should be fine for now. I probably wouldn't introduce her to my mother and grandparents like I did with my ex, but that's OK. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Should I try to go on dates with women I'm not attracted to but think that they look OK? Maybe I should just focus on my minimum body type standards and as long as the girl isn't ugly, I should ask her out. If all I'm looking for is something casual, then that should be fine for now. I probably wouldn't introduce her to my mother and grandparents like I did with my ex, but that's OK. I saw, yes, do it. It will give you more experience and confidence so you'll be ready when you meet someone you really want to get involved with. Just don't lead them on to believe you're looking for a relationship with them. Just keep it casual and see how it goes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Teraskas Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 (edited) ONCE YOU FIND HAPPINESS BY YOURSELF, ONLY THEN WILL YOU PORTRAY THE CONFIDENCE TO ATTRACT WOMEN. Sorry, but that's just plain false. It's happened to my friends and me plenty of times before. You don't need to be 'happy' to meet a woman, I certainly wasn't and one day she appeared, lol. Point is, experience (both personal and in circle of friends) has shown that only the right conditions need to exist for something to materialise: I.e. You're in the right place at the right time, you bump into eachother by happenstance, strike up a conversation, figure out she doesn't have a boyfriend, sit next to her in class notice her starting to sob while she's starting at her phone and comforting her, she laughts flirtily when the teacher asks you to read out a part of a text, etc. Edited February 14, 2014 by Teraskas 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Should I try to go on dates with women I'm not attracted to but think that they look OK? Maybe I should just focus on my minimum body type standards and as long as the girl isn't ugly, I should ask her out. If all I'm looking for is something casual, then that should be fine for now. I probably wouldn't introduce her to my mother and grandparents like I did with my ex, but that's OK. I think you should ask out women who are cute to you, but it isn't necessary that they are initially hot to you. Go on a couple dates and see if spark develops. See if she gets hotter to you. Don't continue if the spark is absent. Don't lead people on or use people for sex or companionship. But give spark a chance to develop as you see her as a fuller person (not just her appearance). Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 I think you should ask out women who are cute to you, but it isn't necessary that they are initially hot to you. Go on a couple dates and see if spark develops. See if she gets hotter to you. Don't continue if the spark is absent. Don't lead people on or use people for sex or companionship. But give spark a chance to develop as you see her as a fuller person (not just her appearance). I think this is odd advice. I've never heard of a guy's opinion on a girl's hotness progressing over time. Women are well known to become attracted to guys that they don't find find objectively physically attractive, but I think you'd be hard pressed to ever see that happen the other way around. Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 I think this is odd advice. I've never heard of a guy's opinion on a girl's hotness progressing over time. Women are well known to become attracted to guys that they don't find find objectively physically attractive, but I think you'd be hard pressed to ever see that happen the other way around. It's not that you suddenly (or gradually) realize that you think she's hotter. It's that you find yourself more drawn to her, more connected with her, and you want to be more open with her. This is why it's good for every single guy to figure out how he best connects with women beyond the initial impression of her looks. "Cute" should be all you need to get the ball rolling. Unfortunately, especially when we're young, we can get caught up with the idea that it will reflect badly on us if we have a partner who isn't stunningly "hot" or who is more than a few pounds overweight. I think that is what's behind 90% of the complaints about not being able to find someone good looking enough or losing attraction to your partner after he or she has gained a few pounds. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 I think this is odd advice. I've never heard of a guy's opinion on a girl's hotness progressing over time. Women are well known to become attracted to guys that they don't find find objectively physically attractive, but I think you'd be hard pressed to ever see that happen the other way around. Oh, I think it happens a lot! That cute woman a man starts dating becomes the apple of his eye, and preferable to any "hot" looking woman. Again, not a woman you have no initial attraction to, but a woman you find cute at first. How many men have the luxury of dating super hot women? Nevertheless, most are very attracted to their own partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 what I'm thinking is the main issue. I may be aiming too high. I'm realizing that I'm only attracted to a certain type of girl and they aren't that common where I live. When I do find them, they most likely already have a boyfriend. For example there are three of them in my dance class. The one I'm the most attracted to I know is taken. I don't know about the other two yet, they didn't go to class yesterday, but I wouldn't be surprised if they were spoken for. All that leaves are the girls that are nice, but don't really do anything for me. Should I just try to see if there is anything from those girls and ask them out? I guess I can upgrade later on, but I really don't like that thought. I'm looking for a serious long term relationship with a woman I'm attracted to mentally and physically. My ex turned me on so much and I don't know if I want to settle for a girl that I wouldn't get that feeling from just by seeing her naked. I'll have to think about this. Do you expect to be promoted to CEO without any experience? Look this guy is correct, lower your physical standards and you may just surprise yourself. Shallow Hal Syndrome. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Umm, we do get attracted over time to a girl, more so than initial. Smarts, kindness, femininity, class ... all of these can truly enhance the beauty of a woman and they things you discover with time. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 14, 2014 Author Share Posted February 14, 2014 Honestly, I was mostly talking about sexual attraction. Smarts, kindness, femininity, class, don't give me an erection. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Honestly, I was mostly talking about sexual attraction. Smarts, kindness, femininity, class, don't give me an erection. Yeah, we get that. But look at all the men in the world happily partnered with less than hot women, and getting erections. Is there a reason why you require more beauty than most men to get an erection? Beyond that, if she passes the "get the penis off the couch" test, those other non-physical traits can deepen attachment, grow love, and strengthen overall sexual attraction. After a month or so, you may be much more enthusiastic about her than you were on the first date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
man_in_the_box Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 To be fair it's retardedly easy to get a boner if the will is there. Unless you're one of those unfortunates with ED but alas. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Yeah, we get that. But look at all the men in the world happily partnered with less than hot women, and getting erections. Is there a reason why you require more beauty than most men to get an erection? Beyond that, if she passes the "get the penis off the couch" test, those other non-physical traits can deepen attachment, grow love, and strengthen overall sexual attraction. After a month or so, you may be much more enthusiastic about her than you were on the first date. Wow...blanket statement assumption that all the men in the world are "happily partnered". Some are just afraid to get out because it's convenient, it's going to cost them, and because of their kids Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Wow...blanket statement assumption that all the men in the world are "happily partnered". Some are just afraid to get out because it's convenient, it's going to cost them, and because of their kids No, read again. I said look at the happily partnered men, not that all men are happily partnered. There are men happily partnered with hot and not-hot looking women, and men unhappily partnered with hot and not-hot looking women. Look at the happy ones. What are they doing that you could be doing? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 No, read again. I said look at the happily partnered men, not that all men are happily partnered. There are men happily partnered with hot and not-hot looking women, and men unhappily partnered with hot and not-hot looking women. Look at the happy ones. What are they doing that you could be doing? What makes you think these men are "happy"..If what you are saying is true, what happen to Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston then, is it just a matter of she is cute but useless? As the saying goes, show me a beautiful woman, and I'll show you a man who is tired of ********** her 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 To be fair it's retardedly easy to get a boner if the will is there. Unless you're one of those unfortunates with ED but alas. I've always been under that impression! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 14, 2014 Author Share Posted February 14, 2014 Yeah, we get that. But look at all the men in the world happily partnered with less than hot women, and getting erections. Is there a reason why you require more beauty than most men to get an erection? Beyond that, if she passes the "get the penis off the couch" test, those other non-physical traits can deepen attachment, grow love, and strengthen overall sexual attraction. After a month or so, you may be much more enthusiastic about her than you were on the first date. Ugh, love, attachment etc. are things I'm not looking for right now. But I can do cute with a curvy body. That broadens the number of women I can go for. Link to post Share on other sites
man_in_the_box Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 I've always been under that impression! Yes, men have proven to get it up for everything: women, men, squinting till things look like boobs, apple pies, donkeys even park benches. Name something and there's probably some guy who got a boner of it. But I can do cute with a curvy body. That broadens the number of women I can go for. I think they are in high demand but ok. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Monm82 Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Pretty much disagree with this completely. So many people go through their lives hating themselves while attracting others. In many cases, there are women who have not spent more than 2 weeks being single and hate to be alone. They never have problems finding someone to fill their gap as they are usually swinging from one bf to the next one. There are a few guys that do this too but they rarely have the same options or opportunity. So why is it guys have to become happy with themselves to attract someone while its fine for women to be insecure? They don't have to because its simply not true. Plenty of bros out their with authority and parental issues and manchild like macho insecurities getting relationships left and right. This person gets it. Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Ugh, love, attachment etc. are things I'm not looking for right now. But I can do cute with a curvy body. That broadens the number of women I can go for. Thing is, if you are only looking for 'casual encounters' you are always going to have to chase women because these types of 'relationships' never last really long anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 15, 2014 Author Share Posted February 15, 2014 I think they are in high demand but ok. So I should look for a woman with a body who doesn't do anything for me and an ugly face? Thing is, if you are only looking for 'casual encounters' you are always going to have to chase women because these types of 'relationships' never last really long anyways. You may not be aware, but I'm still very sore from my break up two months ago. The last thing I want to think about right now is falling in love and getting attached to a girl who will end up hurting me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 15, 2014 Author Share Posted February 15, 2014 ROFL! I tried tinder and after a few minutes of playing with it, a girl messages me. She made things sexual really quick, that she was horny tonight and wants a guy to make her squirt. Long story short, she wanted me to pay to watch her on cam. Either way, I wonder if this tinder thing will actually work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted February 15, 2014 Author Share Posted February 15, 2014 OK, so I was "talking" to a bot and had no idea. At least I was still able to recognize a scam, though it sucks I actually though I was talking to a real person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
man_in_the_box Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 So I should look for a woman with a body who doesn't do anything for me and an ugly face? . Idk, go chase the hotties then if that's what makes you happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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