Would you date someone a lot more intelligent than you?

[d0nnivain]

I agree that it's rare for LT couples to have vastly different levels of intelligence.

 

 

I have dated men that was significantly smarter than I am in certain areas but not in an overall, general sense but I have an intimidating terminal degree. I prefer men who are sharp & quick witted That isn't always defined through a degree; in fact my husband was still going to college when I met him.

[BeingMe]

OK...my IQ is 174.

 

I LOVE intelligent men, as long as they're truly intelligent and not just big headed know it all guys with loud mouths. But you know, most men aren't going to be as intelligent as me, technically. Does it matter? Not much, as long as they don't expect me to play dumb and aren't intimidated. I don't go showing off though (yes, I know I just posted my IQ, but this is anonymous and it's relevant to what I'm saying) And truly? Emotional intelligence, honesty & authenticity are so much more important. I'm a normal human being. I want to have fun, be loved, love back. I can read books and find other outlets for stimulating my mind. Is a mind stimulating man sexy? Is the pope Catholic? But just brains won't do it for me. I'd rather have the rest of the full package,than brains with nothing else.

[isisisweeping]

OK...my IQ is 174.

 

I LOVE intelligent men, as long as they're truly intelligent and not just big headed know it all guys with loud mouths. But you know, most men aren't going to be as intelligent as me, technically. Does it matter? Not much, as long as they don't expect me to play dumb and aren't intimidated. I don't go showing off though (yes, I know I just posted my IQ, but this is anonymous and it's relevant to what I'm saying) And truly? Emotional intelligence, honesty & authenticity are so much more important. I'm a normal human being. I want to have fun, be loved, love back. I can read books and find other outlets for stimulating my mind. Is a mind stimulating man sexy? Is the pope Catholic? But just brains won't do it for me. I'd rather have the rest of the full package,than brains with nothing else.

 

 

Wow! 174 on which test/scale, if you don't mind me asking?

I am simply curious.

[kart180]

OK...my IQ is 174.

 

I LOVE intelligent men, as long as they're truly intelligent and not just big headed know it all guys with loud mouths. But you know, most men aren't going to be as intelligent as me, technically. Does it matter? Not much, as long as they don't expect me to play dumb and aren't intimidated. I don't go showing off though (yes, I know I just posted my IQ, but this is anonymous and it's relevant to what I'm saying) And truly? Emotional intelligence, honesty & authenticity are so much more important. I'm a normal human being. I want to have fun, be loved, love back. I can read books and find other outlets for stimulating my mind. Is a mind stimulating man sexy? Is the pope Catholic? But just brains won't do it for me. I'd rather have the rest of the full package,than brains with nothing else.

 

Amazing 174. That is just wow, I love intelligent women. My IQ is 100. I just get turned on by interesting conversions about life and why we are here. As a science major, I do love to know why we do what we do.

[BeingMe]

Wow! 174 on which test/scale, if you don't mind me asking?

I am simply curious.

 

Mensa, the full long examination. I didn't know there were other ones (see, intelligence isn't as important as knowledge ).

[kart180]

I agree that it's rare for LT couples to have vastly different levels of intelligence.

I have dated men that was significantly smarter than I am in certain areas but not in an overall, general sense but I have an intimidating terminal degree. I prefer men who are sharp & quick witted That isn't always defined through a degree; in fact my husband was still going to college when I met him.

My mom and her whole family was Cambridge grads so its a natural progression for me to go to uni. Graduated from Surrey uni in England. My father is a CPA so he is qualification in his field.

I would naturally date and hope to marry a women who is a degree holder because she be gifted and talented but it is not a strict deal breaker as long as she has good caring and kind as a wife.

[BeingMe]

Amazing 174. That is just wow, I love intelligent women. My IQ is 100. I just get turned on by interesting conversions about life and why we are here. As a science major, I do love to know why we do what we do.

 

Unfortunately my estranged husband (IQ of 165) seems to assume I'm competition, rather than embracing how amazing it is when we work together. Mind you, my twin brother (not identical, obviously:laugh:) has an IQ of 177 and when we worked together in school, we were a brilliant team, so I know just how good that can be.

[CarrieT]

I've dated guys that I *thought* were brighter than me because they had multiple degrees - but that doesn't mean they are wise in the way of the world.

 

Big, big difference.

 

I've known some VERY well-educated people who are pretty stupid when it comes to personal interactions and relationships.

 

And vice-versa.

 

But ultimately, I am thrilled to have found someone that thinks I am smarter than he is, even though he has multiple PhDs and speaks nine languages.

 

Smart is relative.

[BeingMe]

I've dated guys that I *thought* were brighter than me because they had multiple degrees - but that doesn't mean they are wise in the way of the world.

 

Big, big difference.

 

I've known some VERY well-educated people who are pretty stupid when it comes to personal interactions and relationships.

 

And vice-versa.

 

But ultimately, I am thrilled to have found someone that thinks I am smarter than he is, even though he has multiple PhDs and speaks nine languages.

 

Smart is relative.

 

Couldn't agree more

[isisisweeping]

Mensa, the full long examination. I didn't know there were other ones (see, intelligence isn't as important as knowledge ).

 

 

Each scale has different lines of percentiles. The numbers can be very different, especially as you move further from the median.

Thus, just a number is not especially meaningful without the scale used. Weschler vs Terman for example will give the same person two very different absolute numbers, but their percentile should hold close.

 

 

I looked this up when I noticed more people listing as very high scores. Now, most of these people just took those BS scores on the internet, but which tests are more commonly used has changed as well. (For a true IQ, you should have several tests.)

 

 

What percentile was it that placed you in? That can be compared across a range of IQ tests.

 

 

People, of course, underestimate the range of giftedness and how profoundly different one degree of giftedness is from another. For MENSA, you can join with a score that puts you in the top two percentiles. I'm a member, as well. But, the range of intelligence of members is a vast range even though it is the top two percentile of the population.

 

 

 

 

I'm just smart enough to know how big of an idiot I truly am.

[Radu]

Lots of men here say that after a hard day competing at work, they don't want to come home and feel like they are competing.

And you got that to mean what ?

It's true ... for anyone really.

After a hard day at work, nobody wants to come home, to a home where he/she has to compete with someone.

 

 

I get that. I don't either. Except that lots of men assume by default that if a woman is equally or more competent than they are at something, that they will be 'competing'... it's more a function of how men are socialized (ie everything is a friggin competition) rather than a reflection of reality or even any real dynamic. Most women are socialized to be collaborative... even the brainy ones. I don't even LIKE competing, even when I'm obliged to. The only person I compete against is myself.

Competition is in the genes of men, and because of it we are attractive to women.

Most women want a strong independent guy, most women go for the one who stands out like a rock in the middle of stream of water, who shows strength.

Collaborative is not something that men do well by default, though we do if there is a clear structure.

 

Collaborative is something that women do well by default, if you think it's so easy for us to divorce our independent nature and our desire for competition, why don't you see how easy it is for women to divorce their nature.

 

 

Fair enough... but I haven't gone down that path myself since I was in my early 20's. I agree it's obnoxious to have to keep pumping someone up like that. One of the plusses of growing older. I know when I'm hot and when I'm not...lol. Certainly have no interest in torturing my partner over it.

 

... because both suffer when he either gets a false sense of his worth (he's not as good as he thinks he is) and she and the partnership suffers when they aren't making the best use of her skills... whatever they are. Same is true in reverse as well... I imagine there are some women who might feel threatened if a guy was better in an area that women typically excel at. Although, I don't see too many women complaining when their H is a fabulous cook or parent.

Women being better caregivers, better parents, and better overall at childcare is a widely believed fact in the western world.

Based on that blanket generalization many decisions are made about who should hold primary custody of the kids.

Generally, for a mother to lose primary custody of her kids, she would need to be incarcerated or found doing hard drugs many times over.

 

The idea of men being as capable as women in these areas is such a threat to certain rights organizations that they actively fight against it.

 

 

Well, you'll be happy to know that at least in the US, women have been given the green light to occupy combat positions and heart problems in women are also on the rise. Shared struggles tend to bring more empathy towards the other roles... which is a good thing.

Israel is the nation with the most number of women in the army [in ratio with the men], and most of the time they don't occupy combat positions [as do the ones in the US army].

Russia did 'women in the army' during WW2 way before the US even considered it.

In fact, they had a few full strength divisions active on the front against Nazi Germany, and even tank units that had women in them.

[isisisweeping]

I've dated guys that I *thought* were brighter than me because they had multiple degrees - but that doesn't mean they are wise in the way of the world.

.

 

I consider degrees meaningless.

 

 

Though I don't see "street smarts" as better than academic smarts, either.

 

 

I know enough people with degrees who are not especially intelligent, and people without them who blow my mind.

[lollipopspot]

Women being better caregivers, better parents, and better overall at childcare is a widely believed fact in the western world.

Based on that blanket generalization many decisions are made about who should hold primary custody of the kids.

Generally, for a mother to lose primary custody of her kids, she would need to be incarcerated or found doing hard drugs many times over.

 

That's a myth - the courts are not gender biased against fathers. Usually custody cases are not decided in the courts (less than 10% are), but when they are, custody decisions are not gender based, but based on who is the primary caretaker.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cathy-meyer/dispelling-the-myth-of-ge_b_1617115.html

[BeingMe]

Each scale has different lines of percentiles. The numbers can be very different, especially as you move further from the median.

Thus, just a number is not especially meaningful without the scale used. Weschler vs Terman for example will give the same person two very different absolute numbers, but their percentile should hold close.

 

 

I looked this up when I noticed more people listing as very high scores. Now, most of these people just took those BS scores on the internet, but which tests are more commonly used has changed as well. (For a true IQ, you should have several tests.)

 

 

What percentile was it that placed you in? That can be compared across a range of IQ tests.

 

 

People, of course, underestimate the range of giftedness and how profoundly different one degree of giftedness is from another. For MENSA, you can join with a score that puts you in the top two percentiles. I'm a member, as well. But, the range of intelligence of members is a vast range even though it is the top two percentile of the population.

 

 

 

 

I'm just smart enough to know how big of an idiot I truly am.

 

 

I think it was Cattell III B (because that's what British Mensa seem to have used back then) and the result was 174 +/-3. I do know that you had to get 140 or more in the test to get in to mensa

 

But it doesn't really mean much, I was only in mensa for a few years because my parents wanted it - too much like bragging etc and too high expectations. Plus it's expensive for what it is. I enjoy learning and academic challenge, but putting a number on it doesn't make any difference to that.

Edited February 9, 2014 by BeingMe

[FitChick]

I only date men more intelligent than I am or as intelligent but who know things that I don't. I like to learn. Otherwise I get bored.

[Antenna_Of_Destiny]

I'm a man who would only consider settling down/committing to a woman who is my intellectual equal or superior. Everyone else is just no strings attached fun.