Is the slut-shaming as bad as the male virgin shaming?

[carhill]

IME, over the decades, even though I certainly bore a certain stigma for being a 'late' virgin, discussion and gossiping about promiscuous people, women more so than men IME, appeared to be far more common. Virgins were more dismissed than anything. Promiscuity was more 'juicy' so more interesting as gossip, hence more talked about.

 

As evidenced by the male virgin, about all a man can control regarding sex is his abstinence. Women, generally, have complete control over every process and result of sex so men tend to form conclusions based upon such disparities of control. I did choose to fight that generality, at my own peril as it would result. Still no interest in 'slut-shaming' but far more wise about the particulars than prior to being married.

[TheBigQuestion]

I don't particularly care that women are more likely to be "slut-shamed." Ultimately, most men do not want to settle down with promiscuous women. Even men who believe that slut-shaming is wrong in the abstract would most likely prefer someone with fewer partners. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that the need to act promiscuously doesn't magically disappear just because the woman finds herself in a relationship or marriage. Most men simply do not want to unknowingly use their resources to further the genetic legacy of other men. Female promiscuity leads to a greater chance of this very scenario playing out. You do the math. I am well past the point of caring whether pointing this stuff out makes me "sexist" or a "hypocrite."

 

As far as being shamed for being a male virgin goes, I suppose it can be pretty pronounced depending on what circles you run in. For the most part though, guys who lose it by their early 20s have probably gone through very little trouble.

[GoreSP]

If that was the only case, then the average woman would have over 100 partners.

 

There is a reason why women don't sleep with a new guy every week.

 

 

Of course.

 

But the more partners one is with, the greater the odds of getting infected. That's common sense.

 

Common sense?

 

A person having casual sex generally knows the risks associated with casual sex - so most of them are using protection while the person who had only three partners as part of a relationship are likely to stop using condoms after a while when the woman is on the pill.

 

Even if the three partners had a small number of partners before, in similar situations (relationship, no protection) the risk of infection is there.

 

Also, you'd be surprised at the number of men/women who went through a ONS phase and accumulate close to/over 100 partners.

 

They shut up about it because of, well, people who say stuff like you. Also - it's none of your business.

[GoreSP]

I don't particularly care that women are more likely to be "slut-shamed." Ultimately, most men do not want to settle down with promiscuous women. Even men who believe that slut-shaming is wrong in the abstract would most likely prefer someone with fewer partners. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that the need to act promiscuously doesn't magically disappear just because the woman finds herself in a relationship or marriage. Most men simply do not want to unknowingly use their resources to further the genetic legacy of other men. Female promiscuity leads to a greater chance of this very scenario playing out. You do the math. I am well past the point of caring whether pointing this stuff out makes me "sexist" or a "hypocrite."

 

As far as being shamed for being a male virgin goes, I suppose it can be pretty pronounced depending on what circles you run in. For the most part though, guys who lose it by their early 20s have probably gone through very little trouble.

 

Apparently, it does.

 

Promiscuity is defined bu having a lot of 'short term sex'.

 

If a woman is 'promiscuous' between the ages of 20 to 24. She has a few ONS, a few FWB, whichever.

At 25 she meets a man and falls in love with him and makes a commitment to a monogamous relationship. In the majority of cases, the promiscuity will stop. (and I say the majority because I am aware there are filthy bitches out there)

[GoreSP]

Also - this thread kinda supports the idea that slut shaming is more of a problem than male-virgin shaming...

[TheBigQuestion]

Apparently, it does.

 

Promiscuity is defined bu having a lot of 'short term sex'.

 

If a woman is 'promiscuous' between the ages of 20 to 24. She has a few ONS, a few FWB, whichever.

At 25 she meets a man and falls in love with him and makes a commitment to a monogamous relationship. In the majority of cases, the promiscuity will stop. (and I say the majority because I am aware there are filthy bitches out there)

 

"Slut-shaming" is simply a juicier topic than male virgin-shaming. People openly condemn behavior that they find repugnant, morally or otherwise. Whoop-dee-do. What a big "problem."

 

How do you know that in a majority of cases, the promiscuity will stop? I obviously don't know what percentage of people actually stop being promiscuous for good once they decide "alright, it's relationship time!" but it's besides the point. A rational, contemplative, well-informed male will generally prefer to not risk a lifetime commitment with someone who previously had a revolving door of penis on the probability of the woman foregoing the revolving door from that point onward. A guy that doesn't verbalize any reservations about shacking up with a known strumpet is most likely being dishonest with himself and with the world.

Edited February 3, 2014 by TheBigQuestion

[isisisweeping]

" A guy that doesn't verbalize any reservations about shacking up with a known strumpet is most likely being dishonest with himself and with the world.

 

 

Nope, sorry -lots of guys don't think like this. I don't know many who DO think like this.

 

 

It's actually sickening that it is a thought.

 

And, strumpet?

[GoreSP]

"Slut-shaming" is simply a juicier topic than male virgin-shaming. People openly condemn behavior that they find repugnant, morally or otherwise. Whoop-dee-do. What a big "problem."

 

How do you know that in a majority of cases, the promiscuity will stop? I obviously don't know what percentage of people actually stop being promiscuous for good once they decide "alright, it's relationship time!" but it's besides the point. A rational, contemplative, well-informed male will generally prefer to not risk a lifetime commitment with someone who previously had a revolving door of penis on the probability of the woman foregoing the revolving door from that point onward. A guy that doesn't verbalize any reservations about shacking up with a known strumpet is most likely being dishonest with himself and with the world.

 

And do you know for sure that the majority of women who are promiscuous are still promiscuous once they are in a relationship?

 

The problem with slut shaming is the false judgement towards those women. (IE more likely to cheat, more likely to have an STD)

 

The only thing that is bothering people here is that some women are having more sex than they would like her too - and that - like I said so many times - is none of their businesses.

 

All women deserve respect - By all mean you want a virgin, pick a virgin. If you don't want to date the girl with 20+ partners, don't.

 

Just lay off the 'eewwwwwww coodies' mentality.

[TheBigQuestion]

Nope, sorry -lots of guys don't think like this. I don't know many who DO think like this.

 

 

It's actually sickening that it is a thought.

 

And, strumpet?

 

I'm sure there are men out there that don't "think like this," but there are plenty others that echo the sentiments which are popular with women (i.e. "slut-shaming BAD") mostly so they stay within their favor. Most men are smart enough to realize that they are in for a world of pain if they verbalize these thoughts, so they keep it to themselves. Naturally from your perspective it doesn't seem like many guys "think like this," but unless you're a mind reader you have no way of knowing.

 

I'm a huge Miles Davis fan. I have a thing for words that rhyme with "trumpet." Big whoop.

[TheBigQuestion]

And do you know for sure that the majority of women who are promiscuous are still promiscuous once they are in a relationship?

 

The problem with slut shaming is the false judgement towards those women. (IE more likely to cheat, more likely to have an STD)

 

The only thing that is bothering people here is that some women are having more sex than they would like her too - and that - like I said so many times - is none of their businesses.

 

All women deserve respect - By all mean you want a virgin, pick a virgin. If you don't want to date the girl with 20+ partners, don't.

 

Just lay off the 'eewwwwwww coodies' mentality.

 

My statements regard the mental calculus conducted by men based on the probabilities. They are not empirical conclusions; I never said I "knew" the percentage of women who remain promiscuous after entering a long-term relationship or marriage. However, it is perfectly rational, a priori, to conclude that a previously promiscuous individual will remain that way. Past behavior is generally a good indicator of present and future behavior.

 

And furthermore, respect is earned. It is not something to which someone is automatically entitled just by virtue of being alive.

[GoreSP]

And furthermore, respect is earned. It is not something to which someone is automatically entitled just by virtue of being alive.

 

I completely agree.

 

But tell me how is a promiscuous woman not entitled to basic respect from her peers?

[Els]

I think this thread pretty much answers your question, OP.

[GoreSP]

I think this thread pretty much answers your question, OP.

 

haha! Even he/she went 'F*ck that!' and didn't return.

[sweetjasmine]

Usually it's the guys who aren't getting it from the "sluts" that have the biggest problem with women and their private sex lives.

 

And lots of those have no problem paying for sex, but a woman isn't "respectable" if she has had more than X number of partners.

[Els]

haha! Even he/she went 'F*ck that!' and didn't return.

 

Yup, pretty much.

 

Seriously, do whatever you want to do in life - the people who matter won't mind, and the people who mind won't matter.

 

This goes to both virgins and 'sluts', of both genders.

[TheBigQuestion]

I completely agree.

 

But tell me how is a promiscuous woman not entitled to basic respect from her peers?

 

That depends on how you define "basic respect."

 

Do promiscuous women deserve equal protection of our laws? Yes. Will I go out of my way to throw bags of flaming dog poop at promiscuous women just because they are promiscuous? No. Would I ban them from my grocery store if I was the shop owner? No. Would I refuse to become acquaintances with them? No. Would I respect their choices? In most cases, probably not.

 

So how are we defining respect here?

[Els]

There's also the STD aspect, the less partners a person has, the lower odds of them caching a bug.

 

 

What about men who have slept with prostitutes? Surely they must be the second most bug-ridden demographic in the world?

[GoreSP]

The bigger question is who gives a rats ass what people do or don't do behind their own bedroom doors?!

 

A lot of people, apparently.

[TheBigQuestion]

What about men who have slept with prostitutes? Surely they must be the second most bug-ridden demographic in the world?

 

Wouldn't that depend on the country and the legal status of prostitution there?

[GoreSP]

That depends on how you define "basic respect."

 

Do promiscuous women deserve equal protection of our laws? Yes. Will I go out of my way to throw bags of flaming dog poop at promiscuous women just because they are promiscuous? No. Would I ban them from my grocery store if I was the shop owner? No. Would I refuse to become acquaintances with them? No. Would I respect their choices? In most cases, probably not.

 

So how are we defining respect here?

 

You don't have to agree with them - but it's not your choice to make - so you should respect their choice.

[TheBigQuestion]

The bigger question is who gives a rats ass what people do or don't do behind their own bedroom doors?!

 

Why is judgment of the sex life of a prospective relationship partner completely off-limits when virtually everything else about that person is fair game?

[Els]

Wouldn't that depend on the country and the legal status of prostitution there?

 

I was talking about a Craiglist encounter in a non-legal state in America, by the poster I quoted.

[TheBigQuestion]

You don't have to agree with them - but it's not your choice to make - so you should respect their choice.

 

Poor logic. I have to respect someone's choice simply by virtue of it being "theirs"? How does that make sense?

[sweetjasmine]

Why is judgment of the sex life of a prospective relationship partner completely off-limits when virtually everything else about that person is fair game?

 

It isn't, which is why I judge male virgins.

[GoreSP]

Poor logic. I have to respect someone's choice simply by virtue of it being "theirs"? How does that make sense?

 

Because you don't get to have a say in someone else's sexual life choices.