bubbaganoosh Posted November 30, 2013 Posted November 30, 2013 These kinds of people don't know how to do anything but lie and really don't care about anything but to deflect the blame on others. Long time ago I had a situation where my fiance got pregnant and after I marred her, I found out it wasn't my kid. I was in the army and she blamed me so she can get all the benefits from being married to a serviceman and the real father of the baby got away scot free. I found out about it and divorced her but no after her putting me through hell and I never saw her after that. Forty years later she made contact with me for the fourth time and this time I decided to talk to her. Naturally, my first question to her was why she did what she did to me hoping that she would be adult enough to step up to the plate and be honest. I got every excuse under the sun except the real reason. The real reason was she was a liar. A cheater and someone with low moral character and was still willing to blame others for her bad behavior. A leopard never changes their spots. Don't bother waiting for an answer because there is no valid excuse for people like that. Move on with your life and remember the mistake you made and learn from it. 1
MrBossMan Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 She gloated, big time, first serious relationship i ever had that had meaning and she did this, i have to learn that i've realised i do care too much and fall into things very fast, i blocked her and everything, last thing i said was i hate you to her, don't regret it at all! You guys don't the full story of our relationship, but if you knew you would see all the wrongs to start with, i just didnt see them till now. I was blinded by beauty. A lot of women out there with these issues may have their good sides that will make you want to bear with their negatives just to stay together. But you have to look at them like you would look at a sandwich... Imagine if you were given an absolutely delicious-looking sandwich and you took a bite and it tasted even better than it looks. Then, before you could take another bite, you felt a little sick to your stomach. Having a closer look, you noticed that there was a little mold growing on one side of the sandwich and you bit into a little bit of it. Now would you turn to the mold-free side of the sandwich and continue eating just that side, or would you throw the whole thing out (and possibly induce yourself to vomit)? The bad parts can render the good parts worthless. 1
Author LoveBoat242 Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 A lot of women out there with these issues may have their good sides that will make you want to bear with their negatives just to stay together. But you have to look at them like you would look at a sandwich... Imagine if you were given an absolutely delicious-looking sandwich and you took a bite and it tasted even better than it looks. Then, before you could take another bite, you felt a little sick to your stomach. Having a closer look, you noticed that there was a little mold growing on one side of the sandwich and you bit into a little bit of it. Now would you turn to the mold-free side of the sandwich and continue eating just that side, or would you throw the whole thing out (and possibly induce yourself to vomit)? The bad parts can render the good parts worthless. That is so very true! the thing is, the sandwichs sidedishes sauce and pepper ( her friends ) won't leave me alone about it,she is a lying nieve scumbag. And everytime her friends say anything it just makes me feel worse and feel bad, i don't want to feel like that though as i did nothing wrong! It was ALL her by lying and cheating. 2
Author LoveBoat242 Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 How old is she? My 'ex' is 19 years old.
Author LoveBoat242 Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 (edited) http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/445748-girlfriend-lied-all-along http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/445309-trying Those are my break up thread & cheating thread Mmm, my ex cheated on me 3 times that i know of, she was my first love i was hers, i can't understand how she did it, then lied about it, when i confronted her she gloated about it, she said she loved me, you don't do that to someone you loved. Everything she said was a lie, how do i ever trust anyone ever again, i'm just in so dis-belief, it's been 2 days now its starting to sink in. I never went wrong, her parents broke up because of cheating and she lived with her dad going through exactly the same as me, how can she see what it does then do it to me. Edited December 1, 2013 by LoveBoat242
Don'tKnow Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 My ex cheated on me twice but still wants me back. You can read my thread. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/446174-should-i-take-her-back-after-cheating-again I think I am done with her though. We don't deserve this **** man.
flitzanu Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 people are fickle and selfish, that's pretty much the bottom line of the situation. 2
Author LoveBoat242 Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 My ex cheated on me twice but still wants me back. You can read my thread. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/446174-should-i-take-her-back-after-cheating-again I think I am done with her though. We don't deserve this **** man. Don't go back man, once a cheater always a cheater, i know you love her and i'm hurt just like you but i'm not going back, ever, don't do it, you can find someone who makes you happier then her and won't do that to you. We don't deserve this, and the break up was the same as mine! Came out of nowhere later to discover what had happened, it's bull*****! 1
MrBossMan Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 (edited) I understand wanting to go over it in your mind and using it to heal, but the truth is that there just isn't any logic to it. They are simply not people of strong character or strong moral fiber. They are still children in their minds, and you know how a little child will not want to share or will be mean to others. Well, they're still that way. Maybe the right lessons weren't reinforced in them as children, or they were allowed to get away with being bad people as kids. But at this point, you're not their parent. You're not there to fix them. Can people improve with the help of their partner? Absolutely. But if you find yourself in a relationship with someone and you discover that they aren't already who you NEED them to be (or that you aren't who they need you to be), and one of you has to make dramatic changes in who you are to avoid a breakup, then it should end right there. Little changes are ok, but they can't be necessary changes. Either it ends there, or you force it to continue and it ends years later with divorce with kids and houses and cars and earnings to split between you. No major compromises. That's what life has taught me. Don't feel bad for getting out early, even if it happens after getting cheated on. At least you got out. From now on, just make sure you don't have kids with them until you've already married them (and have no doubts about them), or life will go badly. Trust me. Edited December 1, 2013 by MrBossMan
Author LoveBoat242 Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 My ex girlfriend cheated on me break up was 1 & half weeks ago, I don't care for NC because i hate her and i don't want her back, talking to her wouldn't affect me because i feel hate towards her no matter what, so i was wondering should i send her 1 message saying all the things i did for her let her know what i went through and everything she has done to me and how its affected me i don't care if it pushes her away if anything i hope it does, but i want her to see what she's done because she feels no remorse from cheating so maybe this will show her something, is it good idea or not? after i have sent the message i'll block her on social media websites/numbers etc.. and will never unblock her again
ks0985 Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 No man not worth it. Just gotta try and move on.
reddragon588 Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 No that's a terrible idea and only makes you look immature. She cheated on you, she's the one who has to live with herself. 1
Author LoveBoat242 Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 No that's a terrible idea and only makes you look immature. She cheated on you, she's the one who has to live with herself. Ok, yeah i was thinking that, i'll just stick to venting on LS then. 1
reddragon588 Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Ok, yeah i was thinking that, i'll just stick to venting on LS then. Nothing wrong with that, it's gotten me here so far. 3
Simplysimon Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 My ex girlfriend cheated on me break up was 1 & half weeks ago, I don't care for NC because i hate her and i don't want her back, talking to her wouldn't affect me because i feel hate towards her no matter what, so i was wondering should i send her 1 message saying all the things i did for her let her know what i went through and everything she has done to me and how its affected me i don't care if it pushes her away if anything i hope it does, but i want her to see what she's done because she feels no remorse from cheating so maybe this will show her something, is it good idea or not? after i have sent the message i'll block her on social media websites/numbers etc.. and will never unblock her again Your not being honest here. There's a reason why you wAnt contact other than to tell her how great you was or what you did for her. Women never remember the good things you did for them, they only relate to now when a break up occurs. They relate to only the bad things you did to shed their guilt. Doing absolutely nothing, and can't emphasize this enough, is the best way. They then have to deal with their own sub- conscious which is a girls worst enemy. It will beat her up inside so badly. It's your best weapon. DO Nothing at all. Do nothing please
JDPT Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 Save yourself future grief, write everything you want to say to here down on a piece of paper and then light it on fire. 2
Author LoveBoat242 Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 Your not being honest here. There's a reason why you wAnt contact other than to tell her how great you was or what you did for her. Women never remember the good things you did for them, they only relate to now when a break up occurs. They relate to only the bad things you did to shed their guilt. Doing absolutely nothing, and can't emphasize this enough, is the best way. They then have to deal with their own sub- conscious which is a girls worst enemy. It will beat her up inside so badly. It's your best weapon. DO Nothing at all. Do nothing please I might not be being honest, but i'm not doing it consciously maybe deep down i do have a reason but i'm not lying to myself i don't know what that reason is or if there even is one, i won't contact her, i will stick to LS and follow peoples advice to help prevent me from saying anything to her.
Author LoveBoat242 Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 Save yourself future grief, write everything you want to say to here down on a piece of paper and then light it on fire. I typed it! Just need to print and light. 2
JDPT Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 I typed it! Just need to print and light. Good job man! get it all out.
BC1980 Posted December 1, 2013 Posted December 1, 2013 I typed it! Just need to print and light. Good. Don't send it. We all experience anger after a breakup. There would be times when I would just walk around mad- at work, home, everywhere. I wanted to tell my ex how awful I thought he was, how disgusting I felt he treated me. I somehow controlled myself and never said much negative to his face about him. I'm glad I didn't because bashing him would really just be a reflection of my own inability to control my emotions. The truth is that the ex doesn't even care anyway. If we went to our exes with a list stating how awful they are, do we really think they would agree with us? I doubt that seriously. They would probably think, poor ex, they are still angry and hung up about this relationship. That's too bad. Hopefully, they will move on soon. Take all of that anger and do something positive with it. I actually went with a friend to volunteer at a food bank, and it was a great experience. Put all of those emotions back into working on yourself or helping others in need. 1
Author LoveBoat242 Posted December 2, 2013 Author Posted December 2, 2013 (edited) After i broke up with my ex and before i knew she cheated i was speaking to her like crap because break up came out of nowhere, she came to my house couple days after she broke up with me and cheated for the last time, I didn't know then and when she came to my house she went mad at me because i wasn't speaking to her nicely, like WHAT? She's mad at me for not speaking nice after she broke my heart and cheated on me with 2 guys the week before we broke up... and she didn't even tell me, she lied to my face how can she act like everything was fine and she did nothing wrong, wouldn't you have remorse? Edited December 2, 2013 by LoveBoat242
reddragon588 Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 Why are you still talking to her? You're just inviting drama.
Author LoveBoat242 Posted December 2, 2013 Author Posted December 2, 2013 Why are you still talking to her? You're just inviting drama. I'm not speaking to her, i haven't spoken to her in a while it just came into my head i remembered that she did that, i didn't want to break NC and say it to her so i posted in on LS, i'm just dumbfound how someone can do that..? 1
reddragon588 Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 I'm not speaking to her, i haven't spoken to her in a while it just came into my head i remembered that she did that, i didn't want to break NC and say it to her so i posted in on LS, i'm just dumbfound how someone can do that..? Well.. I'm not sure but in her mind she is justified. It doesn't matter though.. You can't focus on her. She is not worth the thought or energy. Focus on yourself.
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