LoveBoat242 Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Hi. I'm 18, i recently broke up with the first girl i fell in love with due to her ' falling out of love' still loves me but not inlove. ( well that's what she says ) I need some help with NC I keep breaking it, i just can't keep to it, it's really hard as well as i have depression ( not from relationship ) from life events and she was the only thing that made me Happy. Any advice or closure? I'm finding this breakup really difficult as she was my bestfriend for 8 months and my first real love and i don't really have anybody else close to me, it also doesn't help as she is a very beautiful girl inside & out. I don't want to move on i just want her back. She was a once in a lifetime love, she was perfect. :/
notthathard Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Normally when they say they are 'no longer in love' they are not really feeling the spark/sexual feelings/want you always around forever etc. Somewhere along the lines you lost her attraction. Could have been emotional, verbal fights, bad sex, boring conversation etc. She was perfect for you, but you were not perfect for her. I have heard of a few stories where they were able to bounce back from this, but not many. Your 18, there will be other once in a lifetime women out there, trust me. Stay strong with that depression, its probably really hard for you now. You need to get your mind off her for a while.
fixing Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 OK. First thing you have got to do is STOP calling/texting her. She has made a decision to end the relationship. You have no choice but to accept that im afraid. Any contact you make with her from now will make her run a million miles away. First love and break up is always the hardest. But your only 18, whole life ahead of you. All you can do, is focus on you, and keep healthy, active and attractive. You never know, she may start to miss you if you LET HER by going no contact.
Author LoveBoat242 Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 Thanks for the closure! I try my best with NC but it always fails due to me always being an emotional wreck, i think that's why she lost the spark, it got worse during the end of the relationship, i was always a worrier. Do you think if i changed that and fixed my depression up there would be hope for the future of us? I wouldn't wait around.. just if she saw me change one day.
notthathard Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 Thanks for the closure! I try my best with NC but it always fails due to me always being an emotional wreck, i think that's why she lost the spark, it got worse during the end of the relationship, i was always a worrier. Do you think if i changed that and fixed my depression up there would be hope for the future of us? I wouldn't wait around.. just if she saw me change one day. Sure, people change all the time, but it usually takes these live changing moments to do that to them. You wont change overnight and even if you don't get back together change may be the best thing for your next relationship. Don't keep up unrealistic hopes though.
Author LoveBoat242 Posted November 27, 2013 Author Posted November 27, 2013 Sure, people change all the time, but it usually takes these live changing moments to do that to them. You wont change overnight and even if you don't get back together change may be the best thing for your next relationship. Don't keep up unrealistic hopes though. You really think its unrealistic? :/ Any tips for keeping NC?
d0nnivain Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 I'm sorry you are going through this. Break ups are never easy. First, she was not a once in a lifetime love. You are young. You will love again. Very few people spend the rest of their lives with the person they dated at 18. Second, NC isn't for everyone. It's a tool that can help you heal but not everybody heals the same way. The more you are around her the longer it will take & the harder it will be for you to move forward. Third, no even if you changed & over came your depression issues she will not come back. You should still work to control them because you will be happier & more fulfulled. It will help you start & maintain a new relationship. You keep NC by finding a substitute for calling her. There are threads on here that encourage you to post rather than text or e-mail her. I usually designate a friend or two to call instead of calling my EX (Don't push this though because you can't strain the friendshiip). Keep busy: exercise, study, work over time, help in the kitchen tomorrrow, redecorate your living space do anything so you don't have time to dwell. Good luck.
strive Posted November 27, 2013 Posted November 27, 2013 The best way to go NC is you have to want it. Easier said than done, but people who go NC successfully are those that really really want to get over the pain/hurt/sadness. Block her on every social media. Block her number on your phone. Avoid all places where you might see her. Stop your friends when they start telling you about what she's doing now. Go complete NC and you'll bounce back just fine, better than before even. Also, if you feel the urge to contact her, post here instead. Post as many times as you want, it's what we're all here for.
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