Valen Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 (edited) If you're talking about a guy friend, then it's pretty simple. If you invite him out to do stuff, he's almost always available. He will insist on paying. He will remember things you like. He will put more thought in gifts for your birthdays. When you out with groups of friends, he will tend to sit next to you. Now if you want to get him to confess if he likes you, here's a trick. On Valentines Day, just tell him that you're sad no one wants to be your Valentine. If you can fake some tears, do it. At this point, if he doesn't confess his love for you, then he's not interested. Edited November 18, 2013 by Valen 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jimloveslips Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 I can't speak for all guys, but I don't do any subtle signs What he said. Unless they are gay or asexual there is a very limited number of single guys who you will encounter who cannot help but give you signals, voluntarily or otherwise. You said men have told you they are not interested - they may be in a relationship you don't know about. Or, and I do find this hard to believe, you are putting out the wrong vibe... Link to post Share on other sites
jimloveslips Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 I might try online dating I really don't know why you need to - just go out somewhere (nice), you'll get hit on, no problem… and then pick and choose... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Phoe Posted November 18, 2013 Author Share Posted November 18, 2013 Now if you want to get him to confess if he likes you, here's a trick. On Valentines Day, just tell him that you're sad no one wants to be your Valentine. If you can fake some tears, do it. At this point, if he doesn't confess his love for you, then he's not interested. lol now THAT is ridiculous haha. If I did anything even remotely that pathetic my friends would wonder what the hell was wrong with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Phoe Posted November 18, 2013 Author Share Posted November 18, 2013 You said men have told you they are not interested - they may be in a relationship you don't know about. Nah, I get told stories of all the different girls they date or want to date. One of them has a new girl every few weeks, he's insane haha. Regardless for the reason WHY they're not interested, it's well established that way, which is okay by me. I am very happy for the friendships with them. I'm gonna assume the guy I was taking an interest in is not interested back. Based on the majority opinion in this thread he would've said something by now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Phoe Posted November 18, 2013 Author Share Posted November 18, 2013 I really don't know why you need to - just go out somewhere (nice), you'll get hit on, no problem… and then pick and choose... I live in a small town where it seems the majority of men are already married. I am a straggler, and it seems my only option at this point is OLD. If dating were as simple as walking out the door and having options, I would not be here! lol Link to post Share on other sites
jimloveslips Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 ...it seems my only option at this point is OLD... Have fun, stay safe - follow standard safety protocols: public places until you "know" him better. Report back soon and often! And thanks for the pics! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 If dating were as simple as walking out the door and having options, I would not be here! lol It is that simple. I see women all around me all the time when I go out. Anything from going to the bars, a restaurant, stores or even just driving around. I know they are interested, sometimes I am sure I know they are lonely. I don't know how to explain exactly how I know, but I am almost always right when I decide to actually do something. It's like shooting fish in a barrel. I went to the grocery store 2 times this last week. Each time, I saw more than one girl that was: attractive, obviously single, most likely interested also grocery shopping. I did nothing, because although I could tell they were almost definitely lonely, they gave off a vibe like "men are jerks".....'why won't he ask me out!!' I'm not going near that. **** that. Link to post Share on other sites
Valen Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 I live in a small town where it seems the majority of men are already married. I am a straggler, and it seems my only option at this point is OLD. If dating were as simple as walking out the door and having options, I would not be here! lol OLD is not your only option. You can always move and try new places. Like you said, you live in a small town, that limits your options if majority of the men are already married. I think you should move to Seattle Washington, I happen to live there. Link to post Share on other sites
Valen Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 lol now THAT is ridiculous haha. If I did anything even remotely that pathetic my friends would wonder what the hell was wrong with me. It only works when a guy is secretly in love with you. Funny thing was a girl did that to me once and I did confess I like her to cheer her up. Then I did that to another girl, and she confess to me she likes me. lol So don't knock this secret technique of mine, it comes in handy when used properly. Link to post Share on other sites
jimloveslips Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 It is that simple. She did say "I live in a small town where it seems the majority of men are already married." The lake is smaller, and less well stocked. Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 She did say "I live in a small town where it seems the majority of men are already married." The lake is smaller, and less well stocked. She's in Southern California. While there are some pockets that are underpopulated, she is within an easy drive to huge populations of eligible bachelors. She just needs to cast a bigger net. Venture out further. 3 day weekend? Road trip to someplace within a 2 hour drive away! If you're in California, you're within a 2 hour drive of some over-populated area lol. Chance to meet someone and you're not really that far away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Phoe Posted November 20, 2013 Author Share Posted November 20, 2013 She's in Southern California. While there are some pockets that are underpopulated, she is within an easy drive to huge populations of eligible bachelors. She just needs to cast a bigger net. Venture out further. 3 day weekend? Road trip to someplace within a 2 hour drive away! If you're in California, you're within a 2 hour drive of some over-populated area lol. Chance to meet someone and you're not really that far away. I've considered it. I'm about 2.5 or 3 hours west of LA. Trying to date at long distance is not the most ideal, I work long hours and would have a hard time realistically getting out there regularly. I hope to move out of this small town within the next few years, but I don't want to be dateless for the rest of those years! I still would ideally like to date someone in my area. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Sounds to me like you are being very clear and flirtatious with this guy, such that others have noticed. If he still doesn't get it and hasn't accepted your invitation, he's either gormless or not interested. I wouldn't waste your time on someone who is lukewarm. You are a really attractive girl with a vibrant personality and I'm sure there will be plenty of guys who are interested, but act playful like friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Phoe Posted November 21, 2013 Author Share Posted November 21, 2013 Sounds to me like you are being very clear and flirtatious with this guy, such that others have noticed. If he still doesn't get it and hasn't accepted your invitation, he's either gormless or not interested. I wouldn't waste your time on someone who is lukewarm. You are a really attractive girl with a vibrant personality and I'm sure there will be plenty of guys who are interested, but act playful like friends. Yeah, I officially have given up on the guy. No point in losing my dignity trying any harder when 99.9% of all evidence says he's not interested. We can remain friends On another note - Guys, what would you think if a girl approached you and gave you her number? Link to post Share on other sites
Ajax Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 On another note - Guys, what would you think if a girl approached you and gave you her number? I actually quite like it when a woman takes a risk and shows interest. My current girlfriend didn't actually give me her number, but made it pretty clear that she was interested and that I wouldn't be going out on a limb to ask for it. I don't think it's universal that men feel this way. I know that some fella's like the challenge of the chase and get turned off by a woman who takes the initiative. But as someone who admittedly became a little jaded about dating, it was nice to have someone who I was also interested in meet me half way. I think that if you meet a fella you fancy and you get some vibes he might feel the same, then don't be afraid to give him your number. It still puts the ball in his court as to actually calling and asking you out, and takes a little of the pressure off him at the same time. If he doesn't call or is turned off by your move, then he's not someone you'd want to date anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jimloveslips Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 On another note - Guys, what would you think if a girl approached you and gave you her number? I love confident women. I'll be very happy when there are more such women in positions of power and authority in every country in the world, I think there will be a lot more sense and a lot more safety then. Weak women are fine if all you need is your diner on the table and your socks washed, and sex any time you want it, but if you want fun and excitement you really need to be challenged in every aspects of your relationship - I don't mean aggressively, but in a way that makes you think. Aack, I don't think I'm explaining this very well! Anyway, sure, why not!? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jba10582 Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 Many guys would reactive positively if a girl gave a guy her number and more so if she was genuine and awesome about it. It has happened to me recently, although the reason was in networking sense (so it really doesn't count for your purpose), so go ahead and use an under the radar approach, if it becomes appropriate for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Phoe Posted November 26, 2013 Author Share Posted November 26, 2013 I had a guy from the gym that I was considering chatting to and maybe trying to be charming towards and give my number to. Yesterday I saw him out in public. He has a girlfriend. I know the girl too! THANK GOD I did not try that. That would've been a disaster. I may wanna try that out only on a guy that I am sure is single. As for the guy I was originally interested in to cause me to even start this thread, it would appear that he's interested in a different girl, a mutual acquaintance. 2 days ago I was talking with him and another friend walked right up and said to him "So what's up with you and ____, I heard you were flirting with her." and he got kinda flustered and tried to deny it. Our friend just gave a knowing smile and nodded his head, said "uh huh" and walked away. oh well. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 Did you notice you've got guys leaving you their numbers on your pic comments Phoe? Don't give out your number to a guy, he should do the asking if he's interested. If you want to see if one of your friends is interested, get in a relationship or start dating someone else and tell them all about it. If they react disapprovingly they want you. If they don't care then probably not so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Phoe Posted November 26, 2013 Author Share Posted November 26, 2013 get in a relationship or start dating someone else If I could do this I wouldn't even be fussed about whether my friends might be interested but hiding those feelings. I would be focused on whoever I'm dating, not on what my friends think. Not to mention I would NEVER date someone just to get a reaction out of another man. That's awful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Phoe Posted November 26, 2013 Author Share Posted November 26, 2013 I need to figure out how to get better at approaching and flirting. Guys, what are the do's and don'ts for a girl that's making a first move? The giving a guy my number plan is the first idea I've got, but that seems overly bold and presumptuous. What if he straight up doesn't want it? Throws it in the trash? Yeesh. But it's still an idea. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 If I could do this I wouldn't even be fussed about whether my friends might be interested but hiding those feelings. I would be focused on whoever I'm dating, not on what my friends think. Not to mention I would NEVER date someone just to get a reaction out of another man. That's awful. You don't have to date them just to see what your friends reaction is. Just next time you are dating someone if you encounter hostility about it from a friend it's probably sexual tension. They might not even really know they like you until you become unavailable. It really is the one way that works. Everything else is not that reliable. I've heard you talk about a guy on here before so it's not impossible you might find yourself dating someone else in the future..... I've known guys from here who have gone to cali and they say it's a whole different ballgame out there. You would probably be in a relationship in 5 seconds if you moved out east. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 The giving a guy my number plan is the first idea I've got, but that seems overly bold and presumptuous. What if he straight up doesn't want it? Throws it in the trash? Yeesh. But it's still an idea. Try it and see, but I'm betting you'll run into more guys who aren't interested if they aren't asking already. Or ones who want you to be the man in the relationship. OLD would definitely be your strong option. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Phoe Posted November 26, 2013 Author Share Posted November 26, 2013 OLD would definitely be your strong option. Gahhhh I'm still waffling on it. I've been told by so many people here that it's awful and that I shouldn't do it, it's got me kind of scared. There's also a part of me that's worried that if I still fail after trying OLD, that there'll be nothing left to try and that I'm just screwed. It's a sort of a "final frontier" for me, and finally bridging that gap is gonna have to be a mental thing, mostly. I've browsed POF a few times but have not yet made an account. Perhaps after the holidays I will officially do OLD and hopefully start off the new year with a bang. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts