soccerrprp Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I get that some people like the idea of getting married, I do, and I'm not trying to knock them or say that they are wrong. But to liken not wanting to get married with being unable to commit to a long term relationship is wrong on so many levels. People are saying that "If he doesn't ask in so and so amount of time then leave him and find someone else" and things like that. A ceremony is so important the you would leave a great committed relationship over it? That just seems sad to me, and places the event over the people. I think the issue is how the partner's define LTR. If one wants it and the other doesn't than it won't work out. Personally, if I want to get married and my gf didn't, then it won't work out. I value the institution of marriage and feel it important. It's about values. True, you can have a committed w/o marriage, but many don't see it that way and that is okay. In fact, I would venture to say that most women still feel marriage is the culmination of a committed, LTR. Link to post Share on other sites
Phantom888 Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 We are approaching 9 months of serious dating. I knew from the beginning she is the one for me. It took her a few weeks, but we have been together planning our future. I am proposing on our 9 month anniversary. She doesn't know yet, but she suspects it's coming soon. Our kids have been pushing us to get married because they love having new siblings. I sleep over 3-5 times a week, and in July my lease is over so I will move in. Later this month we will be shopping for a new car to accommodate our kids. Oh and as of last week she is officially off of birth control. We are both 39. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phantom888 Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Please keep in mind we are now broken up, but we were together 3 years and I wanted to get engaged (i never told him that), but his previous relationship was 8 years together before they got married. I would never wait that long, but I guess it depends on the person and how you feel about each other. If you both feel its the right thing to do after a few months then great, go for it. Im a bit skeptical though. To me the first year is all peachy. After that the true person comes out and its not always as great as you thought they were. My GF's ex made her wait a really long time. They met when she was 16, and 11 years later he still didn't want to get married until she gave him an ultimatum. Such a sad story because they were never on the same page, and divorced 8 years later. Men know within 6 months if they want to marry a woman. The dating process after 6 months is to re-affirm what he knows, and allows them to get to know each other better. If both people are age 27+, and have been dating for more than a year, there is no reason why they shouldn't get engaged. There is more than enough time to know a person during that time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 My GF's ex made her wait a really long time. They met when she was 16, and 11 years later he still didn't want to get married until she gave him an ultimatum. Such a sad story because they were never on the same page, and divorced 8 years later. Men know within 6 months if they want to marry a woman. The dating process after 6 months is to re-affirm what he knows, and allows them to get to know each other better. If both people are age 27+, and have been dating for more than a year, there is no reason why they shouldn't get engaged. There is more than enough time to know a person during that time. wait a second.. My boyfriend " knows" with me, and he knew right away that I was a woman he hoped he would marry. He cannot propose after a year though, because he had a stroke a few years back, which set him back career wise. He cannot afford a nice ring after 1 year together. I agree with your notion of knowing in 6 months if you want to marry " the one". Or if they are NOT the "one", waiting longer... Link to post Share on other sites
Poppygoodwill Posted February 9, 2014 Share Posted February 9, 2014 Met in May, married the following July. It's my first marriage, his second. I always thought it was b*ll****, but the whole "you just know" thing turned out to be true for me. I've lived with men before (I'm 45) but never thought of marrying anyone until I met S. I didn't feel the need to marry either; was very happy with my globe trotting life. But it just made sense with him. It was faster than ideal, but we had to move to the middle east to be together, and it's illegal to live together without being married, so we just went ahead and did it. No regrets at all. I think that if you're older and know yourself and have worked out some or most of your baggage, then you can make a good decision for yourself relatively soon into a relationship.And this goes for both ways - he's someone you want to marry, or he's someone you should definitely NOT marry :-) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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