killershaft Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 Hey buddy.... how are u holding up now.... its been more than a month.... hope u feeling better than how u were last time around
Author hurts2death Posted November 5, 2013 Author Posted November 5, 2013 (edited) hi all and thans for asking. i am doing better as many days i have a lot of things to do . less time i think of her. but as i grow emotionaly away from the break up i see her action as a stupidity rasional.... some times curiosity got me and i sneak picked her facebook (she created one recently.a new one -letting past go) and jealusy and various stuff get me... but i really have stopped doing that ... i think i am winning curiosity and indifference starts to grow inside me.... although the pain she caused me is unforgettable -john Edited November 5, 2013 by hurts2death
sambo77 Posted November 5, 2013 Posted November 5, 2013 hi all and thans for asking. i am doing better as many days i have a lot of things to do . less time i think of her. but as i grow emotionaly away from the break up i see her action as a stupidity rasional.... some times curiosity got me and i sneak picked her facebook (she created one recently.a new one -letting past go) and jealusy and various stuff get me... but i really have stopped doing that ... i think i am winning curiosity and indifference starts to grow inside me.... although the pain she caused me is unforgettable -john Followed your thread from the very beginning. It has been a great way of helping me to appreciate that this really is a circular process. The endless cycles of pain, jealousy, anger, longing, desperation...and the injections of hope, strength, and acceptance that begin to show their faces from time to time as things progress have all been really clear in your thread. I can relate to all of them. You're doing well... 1
Author hurts2death Posted November 5, 2013 Author Posted November 5, 2013 indeed they are cycles and with time their diameter increases . i hope the diameter increases so that they will barely cycle ..... it would be interesting to see what the cycling process is for a dumper , i know he/she eventually live the break up too but as they cycle what do they cycle exactly.... thanks , i hope i keep doing well.
Author hurts2death Posted November 8, 2013 Author Posted November 8, 2013 last night she called again same hour hidden number... dont ask how do i know. i do. i was falling asleep after a huge day from work and workout and i was exhausted. thank god i ignored. i just cant take it. they dump you-you give them what they wanted politely and vanish-almost 3 month post break up they call? L O L her curiosity is OMG big...
Author hurts2death Posted November 10, 2013 Author Posted November 10, 2013 woke up in the middle of the night , i cant remeber the dream. i was feeling abandonded and crying and cold. basicaly it sucked. cant explain why this happened ,. the day life is ok and progressing away from the break up. the dream feeling was so intense though
dreamingoftigers Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 I always found the dreams process through right after you start to consciously process it and your days gets better. Sort of like a final rinse from your subconscious. My dog died in June. It broke my heart deeply. I just had a dream about her last night. I still think about her everyday though. I hope one day I'll see her again. But I digress. 2
Author hurts2death Posted November 10, 2013 Author Posted November 10, 2013 basically my friend i woke up in the middle of the night with the exact heartbreaking feeling... i hope i dont experience this again..
dreamingoftigers Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 basically my friend i woke up in the middle of the night with the exact heartbreaking feeling... i hope i dont experience this again.. I hope that you don't either. However, anticipate that this will not be your final broken heart. Life can really bite you, and when you least expect it. It does help to cherish the good times though. 2
Author hurts2death Posted November 10, 2013 Author Posted November 10, 2013 yeah i see what you mean. in a glance we exist and in a glance we die.... i am more building up a soldier attidute to myslef. i will do the best i can and the ethical right everytime and what ever comes to me even the worst i will accept it with a hug and allways fight. or never give up. at the end we are disposable we made from flesh and live in a life with unlimitted outcomes.we must for this reason do actions and treat others in a way that aint disposable.... lets see how we heal through the winter. -john I hope that you don't either. However, anticipate that this will not be your final broken heart. Life can really bite you, and when you least expect it. It does help to cherish the good times though. 2
dreamingoftigers Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 As I get older, my life philosophy tightens up as well. I've had to become somewhat less charitable as I grow older because I have a terrible habit of bailing everyone out and then some. Not good for me or them. So I've been trying to run my life more like a business. Keeping what works, getting rid of what doesn't.
Author hurts2death Posted November 10, 2013 Author Posted November 10, 2013 yeah cause eventually we are with ourselfs, we control only our own actions. 1
Author hurts2death Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 (edited) as i get far away in time from the break up. i am restarting to sense that i am loosing her like she is falling in space. i guess i enter the era of things are OVER over now. never thought of a relationship having that huge impact if things go wrong.... generally most of the time i feel better. it is just strong memories of some things i lived with her. like her shaking legs crying eyes in the rain makes my heart open again.... they are so vivid i can paint them.. like when she walked miles in the dark to reach me while i was driving towards her.... i caqnt imagine the guilt i would feel if i was a dumper. thank god i am the dumpee.. Edited November 14, 2013 by hurts2death
Author hurts2death Posted November 17, 2013 Author Posted November 17, 2013 (edited) almost 4 months post break up i feel angry. . hope the next phase is total freedom Edited November 17, 2013 by hurts2death
dreamingoftigers Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 almost 4 months post break up i feel angry. . hope the next phase is total freedom I think it might be "bargaining" So get to a Garage Sale and get that stage out of the way fast, LOL 1
melell Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Anger for me happened about 3-4months after the bu, and it was followed by a bit of depression, but that was only brief. The time after that was freedom of sorts, but not total freedom- still much better than before though. It is different for everyone though, all so I hear. Good for you for surviving so far 3
Author hurts2death Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 some moments i feel the heartbreak, just moments though. it is this cold foreign lonely helpless dark breathless feeling you cant accept. thank god i kept myself occupied and sailed away from the pain. i hope i find freedom island.... i will just keep going. http://sailing.kaerle.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/far_and_away.jpg
Author hurts2death Posted November 22, 2013 Author Posted November 22, 2013 so hear it comes. i have a sence i am going to witness my replacement soon. in fb i mean. well i only sneak peak rarely her prof pic. this time she is hugging a male shoulder. i have a sense he is the replacement of me. now i feel more disgusting of her and her soul. i hope i never meet this monster again. and now i am starting to really accept true let go. cause there is now not even a slight chance of rehab. although i didnt want it earlier too since she dumped me.
Author hurts2death Posted November 22, 2013 Author Posted November 22, 2013 nobody restricted her and trust me my ignorance was huge about her and her life, its just couple of months post break up, how the hell?
Author hurts2death Posted November 22, 2013 Author Posted November 22, 2013 it makes her. i am sorry. again the boyfriend and the relationship aint trading or beeing bought. i completely understand my rejection and clearly value her actions as disorderous. western f ucking civil s hit. i wonder if a girl will try to buy me for her boyfriend.
Malakas Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 You're going through the anger stage.But it has been now full 4 months after the BU.What did you expect?She broke up with you and you have been NC all this time.Did you seriously expect her to be still mourning and at home waiting for you?I know it hurts to see someone else by her side now,but you have to wake up and realise that you and her are now over.Whatever she does it's only her business.I hope this serves as a bigger wake up call for you and help you to move forward even more. She has continued with her life.What about you?Are you just going to sit down and always wait for her to come back?
Malakas Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 Yeah,What do you mean about buying a boyfriend? 1
Author hurts2death Posted November 22, 2013 Author Posted November 22, 2013 i mean in 3-4 month nc she fell into a anther guys arms after a 3 year RL. seems like she has it for nothing falling in and out . of love or not. and that makes her in my eyes sth like a s l u @
Author hurts2death Posted November 22, 2013 Author Posted November 22, 2013 ^please i dont see why you offended me.? watch your tone please. you were not in my shoes to live what we were with this girl. meeting other girls is super easy. i admit i avoid them. i still repair myself and when i become healed i will really really think of getting into a relationship cause when i do it i take responsibility and treat the other HUMAN as human and not as sth disposable...... even if everyone here bash me about beeing a romeo and juliet love passion guy i will keep supporting it...
Author hurts2death Posted November 22, 2013 Author Posted November 22, 2013 you seem to not understand. noone said stick with someone forever.but leaving someone for gigs or to try things seems immature and low.you must atleast have a reason to leave your other half. i mean wtf we were so much in love it just doesnt make sence, it was not a 3 month rl. i was like sth way more serious. but wait. was i? s h it .You called your ex a slut for dating someone else, and my attitude is the problem? When you say you won't treat them as disposable, does that mean you'll never break up with them ever?
Recommended Posts