kaylan Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 So K, how about answering my earlier question? Or, am I talking to a wall at this point... Which was? Youll have to excuse me as Im having a discussion with 2 other people as well here. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 You're all missing the point It's not about the attraction, it's the "oh, they've been with x number of people, they are weak people with no morals etc etc". I don't agree with that but for some people it means an incompatible set of values. There are some women who don't date a virgin because they feel they suck in bed. I don't agree with that either but it is their right. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 You're all missing the point It's not about the attraction, it's the "oh, they've been with x number of people, they are weak people with no morals etc etc". And who cares about the reasoning? Why care about people who would NEVER date you anyways? I dont get it. So girls dont date black guys because they arent attracted to them. Others dont date black guys because they believe in some tired racist crap about black people. In either case, Im not gonna worry about the girls who dont want me. Im gonna worry about the girls who want the chocolate. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 I don't agree with that but for some people it means an incompatible set of values. There are some women who don't date a virgin because they feel they suck in bed. I don't agree with that either but it is their right. Precisely, and I made that point already earlier in the thread. I can absolutely see both sides of the argument here, all I'm saying is that I am not going to immediately assume a whole host of negative things about somebody just off of their sexual past, and I'm certainly not going to use it to insult them in a public forum either. That is my point. Or at the very least, there has to be a much more tactful way to make your concerns known. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Not in this day and age but it did in the past. And I may not be able to govern people, but I can challenge their reasons for choosing what they're choosing and hopefully remove ignorance and other bad reasons that governs their decision making. It always happened but interracial couples in the past were heavily persecuted which was wrong. Nobody has the right to harass or attack people because of who they date but their own choices are their business. There are women of other races who would never date me because I am white but I don't care. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 You're all missing the point It's not about the attraction, it's the "oh, they've been with x number of people, they are weak people with no morals etc etc". I know right??? how effing hard is it to get? It's not about attraction kaylan, it's about them assuming you are this and that and inferior because you are black, I've known many people who have such feelings about certain races btw. And don't tell me it doesn't bother you and their judgments is just as valid as any other judgment ever made cause I know you don't truly think that way. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 You really are someone man...:lmao: I have NO PROBLEMS WITH PEOPLE RULING OUT OTHERS FOR THEIR SEXUAL PAST (I really don't know what is so difficult to understand in that sentence!). I do have problems with people saying that I am more prone to cheat, etc... It is like me saying I don't date blond women ( till here everything right and my own choice) ... then I say... because blond women are stupid.. Obviously that judgment is stupid, untrue and offensive for every blond woman who read it... It is really so difficult to understand? Read my previous post Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 And who cares about the reasoning? Why care about people who would NEVER date you anyways? I dont get it. So girls dont date black guys because they arent attracted to them. Others dont date black guys because they believe in some tired racist crap about black people. In either case, Im not gonna worry about the girls who dont want me. Im gonna worry about the girls who want the chocolate. Well if I would say all guys with a cat avatar in LS are stupid (it is just an example) you probably would not like it, even when I am not going to date you it is offensive! People should just be civil ... I said it from the beginning... you can have constructive advise (I would do....) or negative advise ( people who does this is...) it comes to basic human interrelations and having some manners... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 And who cares about the reasoning? Why care about people who would NEVER date you anyways? I dont get it. So girls dont date black guys because they arent attracted to them. Others dont date black guys because they believe in some tired racist crap about black people. In either case, Im not gonna worry about the girls who dont want me. Im gonna worry about the girls who want the chocolate. Because as you know, not everybody has such an abundant disposition - of course they are going to worry that every person they try to engage with has problems with their past. I can imagine that being a big problem eventually and of course, being publicly or otherwise shamed for it is not going to do any good. I understand where you are coming from - I'm not worried about girls not liking me for either being black, or autistic, or inexperienced, or broke, or living at home with mum etc etc. There's a lot of things people can judge me about regarding who they wish to date. It's not a problem to me, but I recognise that it can be a problem to others and I empathise with them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 I know right??? how effing hard is it to get? It's not about attraction kaylan, it's about them assuming you are this and that and inferior because you are black, I've known many people who have such feelings about certain races btw. And don't tell me it doesn't bother you and their judgments is just as valid as any other judgment ever made cause I know you don't truly think that way. Promiscuity cannot be compared with racist thinking. Racist thinking invades other areas of society and leads to discrimination that greatly damages peoples livelihood. To say negative attitudes about sleeping around have the same effect, would be disingenuous. Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Because as you know, not everybody has such an abundant disposition - of course they are going to worry that every person they try to engage with has problems with their past. I can imagine that being a big problem eventually and of course, being publicly or otherwise shamed for it is not going to do any good. I understand where you are coming from - I'm not worried about girls not liking me for either being black, or autistic, or inexperienced, or broke, or living at home with mum etc etc. There's a lot of things people can judge me about regarding who they wish to date. It's not a problem to me, but I recognise that it can be a problem to others and I empathise with them. Honestly, I really don't even care about the people in this forum judging me or not... it is about the lack of manners and civility and the bunt judgmental attitude... is awful human interaction. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Another thing, If a girl has negative attitudes towards black folks and doesnt wanna date black men, then it doesnt bother me because I dont need haters. And at the end of the day, the country is moving away from racists. But we cannot act like racial views are the same as views regarding promiscuity. Lets not try that. Thatd be like me comparing sexism to the fact that some guys dont date tall girls for some stupid reason. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Promiscuity cannot be compared with racist thinking. Racist thinking invades other areas of society and leads to discrimination that greatly damages peoples livelihood. To say negative attitudes about sleeping around have the same effect, would be disingenuous. So you're saying as long as the discrimination is just about dating it's ok? As long as it doesn't invade other areas? If a certain race is considered undatable based on baseless reasons, you'd be ok with that? Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Read my previous post I think you are full of it. If someone on here came about and judged you for something you can't change, and made blatant RUDE and wrong assumptions based on that thing, I am pretty sure you would have an issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 If a woman has racist views towards your race why would you want to date them anyway. Who cares if MS Bigot won't date you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Another thing, If a girl has negative attitudes towards black folks and doesnt wanna date black men, then it doesnt bother me because I dont need haters. And at the end of the day, the country is moving away from racists. But we cannot act like racial views are the same as views regarding promiscuity. Lets not try that. Why not? Lets compare people who are shamed for living their sexuality in their way to people who are shamed for being homosexual... Shaming others is never a good thing to do and honestly says much more about people who shame them than about the people who is shamed! Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Well if I would say all guys with a cat avatar in LS are stupid (it is just an example) you probably would not like it, even when I am not going to date you it is offensive! People should just be civil ... I said it from the beginning... you can have constructive advise (I would do....) or negative advise ( people who does this is...) it comes to basic human interrelations and having some manners... People have been civil in this thread. They stated their opinion like mature adults and you are butthurt because you disagree. People are gonna date who they wanna date. Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Not to mention Kaylan... Your the one that brought up the racism and tried to make a point with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 So you're saying as long as the discrimination is just about dating it's ok? As long as it doesn't invade other areas? If a certain race is considered undatable based on baseless reasons, you'd be ok with that? What choice to people have? Do you want laws passed forcing people to date other races? Also just because you don't date people of a certain background does not make you a bigot. I support gay marriage and I am against homophobia but I have no desire whatsoever to date another man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pillow Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Wow, the people on this thread. You cannot choose your race! You cannot choose whether you are born blind or with birth defects. I find that very different than someone choosing to be a stripper or porn star or sleeping with every whonanny who winks at them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Because as you know, not everybody has such an abundant disposition - of course they are going to worry that every person they try to engage with has problems with their past. I can imagine that being a big problem eventually and of course, being publicly or otherwise shamed for it is not going to do any good. I understand where you are coming from - I'm not worried about girls not liking me for either being black, or autistic, or inexperienced, or broke, or living at home with mum etc etc. There's a lot of things people can judge me about regarding who they wish to date. It's not a problem to me, but I recognise that it can be a problem to others and I empathise with them. And here in lies the problem. You and I can empathize with folks who want partners of similar sexual pasts...but those who have slept around have a clearly inability to see where the conservative folks are coming from. If they cannot see sex through a conservative persons eyes, then this discussion is pointless because no one will accept the others viewpoint. I can understand why a girl may think Im an unsuitable bf who may cheat on her based on my casual sex past. But despite the fact that Im super loyal and never have cheated, I wont get upset at her because of her feelings. And despite my disagreement with her assessment of me, I understand that shes doing her own risk analysis. I can understand her position because back in my conservative days I wouldnt have dated someone like my present self either. I can understand their perspective because Ive been there. I think some members are unable to do that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 What choice to people have? Do you want laws passed forcing people to date other races? Also just because you don't date people of a certain background does not make you a bigot. I support gay marriage and I am against homophobia but I have no desire whatsoever to date another man. OMG woggle...Yes at the end you have no choice to date people who are willing to date you, but you can still argue and enlighten people and you should if you're hoping for any positive changes, that's my whole point. Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 What choice to people have? Do you want laws passed forcing people to date other races? Also just because you don't date people of a certain background does not make you a bigot. I support gay marriage and I am against homophobia but I have no desire whatsoever to date another man. Rofl. Are you serious with this? You do realize being a homosexual isn't a choice right? To say you wouldn't date someone black because they are probably poor and probably talk like a ghetto person is completely different from saying you wouldn't date a homosexual. Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 People have been civil in this thread. They stated their opinion like mature adults and you are butthurt because you disagree. People are gonna date who they wanna date. Really? I really going to tell you this just once more, I know some people need some more time to understand a concept but I will just make this last attempt! I don't care how people decide who they date or not... really I don't. I am not butt hurt about some random people in the internet saying they would not date me... you don't know me but I can promise you that I have no problems in that area. I have a huge issue with people who emit judgment against millions of people ( yes millions of people have casual sex) and group them in the prone to cheat with no will power and LTR capacity group... Not even because I get offended about it for myself but because denote as much ignorance as pretending to know the way of acting of millions of people just because one random fact is common in all of them :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 I don't even care about a sexual past with a woman. I would just see it as a red flag if she has sex with some player a few weeks ago but makes me jump through hoops for a little affection. People seriously have an issue with me seeing that as a red flag? We all know what often happens when a woman after dealing with a string of players decides to give a nice and available guy a chance and nobody wants to be in that guy's position. Link to post Share on other sites
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