The past is in the past argument with sexual history in dating.

[USMCHokie]

I'm recognizing that the only men having the sort of judgmental attitude about women are those who were historically unsuccessful and/or rejected by women.

 

Noted.

 

Would a corollary to this be that only the women who are so adamantly defensive against such judgments are those who were historically blowing half the football team...?

[miss_jaclynrae]

We are all a product of our past experiences, especially during our formative childhood years. If someone develops early in their life a penchant or even a mere appreciation for the benefits of providing sex, they may tend to fall back on those experiences later on in life.

 

We are learning creatures, after all.

 

 

 

 

 

This makes me laugh.

For real?

I can't believe we are even discussing **** from HS. I think I had 15 boyfriends, many of which lasted 2 weeks or less? Funny, because not only am I in a loving long term relationship, but I also was married for 3 years (with him for 4).

I haven't had a boyfriend for only two weeks in adulthood EVER.

[Woggle]

This makes me laugh.

For real?

I can't believe we are even discussing **** from HS. I think I had 15 boyfriends, many of which lasted 2 weeks or less? Funny, because not only am I in a loving long term relationship, but I also was married for 3 years (with him for 4).

I haven't had a boyfriend for only two weeks in adulthood EVER.

 

I would never judge somebody based on what happened in high school unless they maybe killed somebody or something. A few months before we start dating however is fair game.

[miss_jaclynrae]

I don't mean to start this kind of argument but if the person before you gets the star treatment while you get crumbs then yes that is a reason to worry. If your man's ex got the full gentleman treatment while you were lucky to get a card on your birthday would you not wonder what was wrong?

 

 

 

No. For starters, I wouldn't know in the first place.

Secondly, he isn't with her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think you just cleared up the insecure debate.

Sounds pretty insecure to me.

[Star Gazer]

Would a corollary to this be that only the women who are so adamantly defensive against such judgments are those who were historically blowing half the football team...?

 

Are you really suggesting that I'm a whore? Nope. Farrrrr from it.

 

Pointing out idiocy in "logic" isn't defensiveness.

 

And jealousy comes from someplace deep down inside in those who "have not." Those who "have" don't experience that emotion.

[miss_jaclynrae]

I would never judge somebody based on what happened in high school unless they maybe killed somebody or something. A few months before we start dating however is fair game.

 

 

 

Well I tripled my numbers in a matter of a year. It was still going up, and then I met my man. He knows I was married and knows how high it was before I got married and knows the range after. He's no idiot.

 

 

 

 

Funny how great my relationship is considering, not to mention my unwavering loyalty. He doesn't see it as crumbs either, because he has been the one to keep me when most men couldn't. Ida say that's a big enough meal to keep anyone happy.

 

 

 

 

He loves my "worn" vagina too btw. Have you ever noticed how much more comfortable shoes get once they have been "broken in"?

Yeah... My va-jay-jay is like a pair of high fashion leather shoes.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Would a corollary to this be that only the women who are so adamantly defensive against such judgments are those who were historically blowing half the football team...?

I was a loner. I never even had a penis in my mouth until I met my ex husband. Try again.

[mortensorchid]

I live by a mantra: Ignorance is bliss.

 

I have learned the hard way on this, and this includes people's personal histories. Stay in the shadows and you will have more freedom and more peace of mind. What goes on in other people's lives is none of my business, and vice versa. End of story.

[SJC2008]

Well I tripled my numbers in a matter of a year. It was still going up, and then I met my man. He knows I was married and knows how high it was before I got married and knows the range after. He's no idiot.

 

Funny how great my relationship is considering, not to mention my unwavering loyalty. He doesn't see it as crumbs either, because he has been the one to keep me when most men couldn't. Ida say that's a big enough meal to keep anyone happy.

 

He loves my "worn" vagina too btw. Have you ever noticed how much more comfortable shoes get once they have been "broken in"?

Yeah... My va-jay-jay is like a pair of high fashion leather shoes.

 

Wait a minute now. In your first response to my thread you said:

You can't be serious...

Here's an idea, don't date women who don't tell you. "People that mind don't matter and people that matter don't mind."

 

 

 

 

She wouldn't want to be with you if you card so much about her past anyways.

Sexual past doesn't hurt anyone, it has no influence on someone's ability to be in a relationship, and how many people I have ****ed is frankly NOBODY'S business but my own. I'm clean and safe, if that isn't enough then I could care less.

Not to mention ****ing isn't breaking the law.

 

So if it was nobodys business how does your BF know?

[miss_jaclynrae]

Wait a minute now. In your first response to my thread you said:

 

 

So if it was nobodys business how does your BF know?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He doesn't know my exact number in the slightest.

I said he knows the range. I talk about past relationships/dates, kinda hard to hide the fact that I have been sexually active. Talks about the past happen. Never in details, but that doesn't mean we live in this fantasy world where past relationships just disappeared after we met.

[Trumpeted]

Insecurity dear, insecurity...

 

What's actually important for me is that the guy never cheated and had at least some standards in who he ****ed. If he went around having sex with married women, very unattractive or ghetto women...then I'd think twice about it. Otherwise I think it just shows immaturity and insecurity to make a big deal out of one's sexual past.

I agree. In the past, I admit being this jerk and insecure guy who would focus too much on a woman's number. Though I'm a 27 year-old man who has only had 7 women (my fiancée being my 7th) that still gave me no rights to judge a woman harshly.

 

It was not until I met my fiancée who changed me about this. Her number is 32 and it's a good thing she told me into our 2nd year of our relationship (though she didn't told me when I told her my number is 6 and I asked for hers, yes she did lied but can't blame her). I'm glad it happened. If she had told me right in the beginning, not only would I have been a total jerk but I would have thrown out a great relationship; my engagement. At the same time it made me changed my standard.

 

For then on what should really matter is the following: Fidelity, wants a family and Is caring/has compassion towards others

Overall: Good personality

[USMCHokie]

Pointing out idiocy in "logic"...

 

I'll break it down for you Barney-style.

 

I'll start with something simple. How does a dog learn new tricks? With a simple reward system. You teach him something and when he executes the trick, he is rewarded with a treat. He associates the trick with a particular positive outcome, i.e., a treat.

 

Now we'll move onto humans. Let's take a child who goes to school. He gets good grades and is rewarded with perhaps a gift from his parents, more allowance, or more freedoms. He realizes that his good behavior comes with favorable outcomes. He is also taught that if he puts forth the effort to succeed in school, he will have a promising future. Or perhaps a young aspiring athlete who watches his favorite pro athletes on TV. He practices his sport, hoping to one day be like his idol.

 

In any case, we are all motivated by some sort of "doggie treat." So let's go back to the promiscuous girl in high school who realizes that when she gives a guy access to her body, she gains favor with those "popular boys." The more she does it, the more these boys like her, and the more popular she becomes. Suddenly, she associates sexual activity with a tangible benefit. If developed at an early enough age, this association can become permanently embedded into a person's mind.

 

So fast forward years ahead. This same girl needs or wants something, and she draws on past experiences for ideas. Oh wait, in high school, I remember I serviced half the football team and it gave me everything I wanted. That might work now! Huzzah!

 

That is what I mean by us being products of our past experiences.

[USMCHokie]

I was a loner. I never even had a penis in my mouth until I met my ex husband. Try again.

 

Ummm, yea...not every post is directly addressed to you...and you are but one person out of millions out there...

 

And just as one cannot generalize one person based on an population, one also cannot generalize a population based on one person...

[therhythm]

I'll break it down for you Barney-style.

 

I'll start with something simple. How does a dog learn new tricks? With a simple reward system. You teach him something and when he executes the trick, he is rewarded with a treat. He associates the trick with a particular positive outcome, i.e., a treat.

 

Now we'll move onto humans. Let's take a child who goes to school. He gets good grades and is rewarded with perhaps a gift from his parents, more allowance, or more freedoms. He realizes that his good behavior comes with favorable outcomes. He is also taught that if he puts forth the effort to succeed in school, he will have a promising future. Or perhaps a young aspiring athlete who watches his favorite pro athletes on TV. He practices his sport, hoping to one day be like his idol.

 

In any case, we are all motivated by some sort of "doggie treat." So let's go back to the promiscuous girl in high school who realizes that when she gives a guy access to her body, she gains favor with those "popular boys." The more she does it, the more these boys like her, and the more popular she becomes. Suddenly, she associates sexual activity with a tangible benefit. If developed at an early enough age, this association can become permanently embedded into a person's mind.

 

So fast forward years ahead. This same girl needs or wants something, and she draws on past experiences for ideas. Oh wait, in high school, I remember I serviced half the football team and it gave me everything I wanted. That might work now! Huzzah!

 

That is what I mean by us being products of our past experiences.

 

What if the girl just wanted to have sex and enjoyed having sex? You are making so many assumptions in your post...

Some people just enjoy having sex and can separate sex and love and f*uck and making love... but I guess those that can't will never understand that simple concept.

[MrCastle]

I do think the past is the past in some respects. I think people should judge me on my present. They'll have nothing else to judge me on because I don't talk much about my past. I like being mysterious. People that meet me are on a need to know basis.

 

I never even had a penis in my mouth

 

Hey me neither.

[BradJacobs]

I agree. In the past, I admit being this jerk and insecure guy who would focus too much on a woman's number. Though I'm a 27 year-old man who has only had 7 women (my fiancée being my 7th) that still gave me no rights to judge a woman harshly.

 

It was not until I met my fiancée who changed me about this. Her number is 32 and it's a good thing she told me into our 2nd year of our relationship (though she didn't told me when I told her my number is 6 and I asked for hers, yes she did lied but can't blame her). I'm glad it happened. If she had told me right in the beginning, not only would I have been a total jerk but I would have thrown out a great relationship; my engagement. At the same time it made me changed my standard.

 

For then on what should really matter is the following: Fidelity, wants a family and Is caring/has compassion towards others

Overall: Good personality

This would bother me. The numbers I don't care about. The fact that she lied, which manipulated the outcome and denied my right to choose based on all the facts would concern me.

 

If she'll do it to initiate a relationship what's she willing to do to maintain one?

[MrCastle]

I live by a mantra: Ignorance is bliss.

 

I have learned the hard way on this, and this includes people's personal histories. Stay in the shadows and you will have more freedom and more peace of mind. What goes on in other people's lives is none of my business, and vice versa. End of story.

 

Seriously. How many threads are we gonna have about numbers and sexual history. F*ck.

 

I remember a thread on another forum I used to stalk as a guest titled "I asked my girlfriend if she has had bigger penises than mine and she said yes, what now?"

 

What now? What do you mean what now? You asked her, sh*t head. Surely you knew one of the possible answers when you asked that question would be "yes?"

 

People need to stop asking things they don't want to know the answer to.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Seriously. How many threads are we gonna have about numbers and sexual history. F*ck.

 

I remember a thread on another forum I used to stalk as a guest titled "I asked my girlfriend if she has had bigger penises than mine and she said yes, what now?"

 

What now? What do you mean what now? You asked her, sh*t head. Surely you knew one of the possible answers when you asked that question would be "yes?"

 

People need to stop asking things they don't want to know the answer to.

 

 

 

Obviously he is at risk for her leaving him for a bigger penis. Pft. What a dumb question.

[MrCastle]

Obviously he is at risk for her leaving him for a bigger penis. Pft. What a dumb question.

 

Reminds me of Old School when Luke Wilson's character comes home early from a business trip and finds his wife in an orgy.

 

"Be honest with me. Is this the first time this has happened?"

 

"Well do you want me to be honest? Or do you want me to tell you that this is the first time?"

[USMCHokie]

What if the girl just wanted to have sex and enjoyed having sex? You are making so many assumptions in your post...

Some people just enjoy having sex and can separate sex and love and f*uck and making love... but I guess those that can't will never understand that simple concept.

 

Sure, but not everyone can. So it would make sense to find like-minded individuals who wouldn't judge someone negatively for it...?

[USMCHokie]

What now?

 

Jelqing and prosthetic penis extension devices...?

[silvermercy]

I cannot separate love from sex and I'd like my man to feel the same. His past would give me an indication of that.

[MrCastle]

Jelqing and prosthetic penis extension devices...?

 

Or I can loan mine out to those in need

[SJC2008]

Sure, but not everyone can. So it would make sense to find like-minded individuals who wouldn't judge someone negatively for it...?

 

Right there are different "clubs" and I want to date a member. I'm somwhere in between the "It's just sex" club and "Concecrate the bed, bang a gong like a ritual" club lol. Meaning while I'm not opposed to some casual sex, a cosncscious effort shoud be made to monitor the amount. I'd rather have sex in a relationship with a woman I care about. It's funny how the more liberal the club the less they like to talk specifics. A negative correlation if you will.

[USMCHokie]

Right there are different "clubs" and I want to date a member. I'm somwhere in between the "It's just sex" club and "Concecrate the bed, bang a gong like a ritual" club lol. Meaning while I'm not opposed to some casual sex, a cosncscious effort shoud be made to monitor the amount. I'd rather have sex in a relationship with a woman I care about. It's funny how the more liberal the club the less they like to talk specifics. A negative correlation if you will.

 

Well, it's a simple dynamic. First, you have the more sexually "conservative" folks who judge the more sexually "liberal" folks negatively for discounting the value of sex in relation to love, e.g., "how do I know that you actually like/love me when you have sex with me when you'll have sex with someone you don't like/love...?" Then you have the liberal folks who pass negative judgment on the conservatives for judging them in the first place. Since no one likes to be judged negatively, the preferred play for the liberals is to attack the conservative judgment. And back and forth and on and on.