Wife Cheated twice, Quite depressed & Shattered

[Just a Guy]

Hi Zak1 Guess ole 2 long has given you very good advice. Do not invest more of yourself emotionally and mentally in thinking of your ex wife and what she is doing. Just wipe the slate clean and start afresh. From now onwards do not let a single thought about her cross your mind. No need crying for something that was never there in the first place.

 

As you have said get some hobbies going, join an organisation of youngsters, learn how to play a new game like tennis or squash. Go swimming or jogging. Do anything which works of excess energy and get tired at the end of the day so you can enjoy a good night's rest. Also buy yourself some new clothes, go visit Disney world or something equivalent. Take up reading some good books especially books on self improvement. All this will take your mind off your situation and soon you will be back to your cheerful self. I do hope the good advice that you are getting from all the forum members helps you along and that soon you will be a different man. Cheers!

[jlola]

Life is full of choices... You are only responsible for yours... just because other people take the wrong choices it does not make your own wrong choices right....

Vengeance is poison... and a bad advisor... You can't undo things once you have done them...

 

Vengeance, he told the truth! That is all he did. I am a very nice person. But there were times inmy life I felt I had to "take care of business" the way lowlives understand. They do whatever they feel they want and expect you to take the "high road". When payback comes their way they are angry.

 

People like that need to have consequences to their actions. It is allowing them to get away with hurtful actions that keep them on the path to selfishness.

 

When someone does something really awful to a friend and I hear them say. I only wish them well, I ask Why?

 

Only through painful consequences of their actions may they have an opportunity to grow.

 

My father is a classic malignant narcissist and just a horrid person. It is through people taking the "higher ground" his evil was allowed to flourish.

 

"don't do the crime, if you can't do the time".

[therhythm]

Vengeance, he told the truth! That is all he did. I am a very nice person. But there were times inmy life I felt I had to "take care of business" the way lowlives understand. They do whatever they feel they want and expect you to take the "high road". When payback comes their way they are angry.

 

People like that need to have consequences to their actions. It is allowing them to get away with hurtful actions that keep them on the path to selfishness.

 

When someone does something really awful to a friend and I hear them say. I only wish them well, I ask Why?

 

Only through painful consequences of their actions may they have an opportunity to grow.

 

My father is a classic malignant narcissist and just a horrid person. It is through people taking the "higher ground" his evil was allowed to flourish.

 

"don't do the crime, if you can't do the time".

 

Do you really think she learned a lesson? Any remorse she may have felt for what she did became hate and resentment at the moment he took his vengeance... What was his benefit? Do you get benefit on the pain of someone else? How that makes you better than the person who cheats?

 

I myself have been in your place too... It was painful (it is still painful) ... I have never talked to her again.. that was her consequence...

I don't wish her any bad, she made her choices and I made mine.

[jlola]

Do you really think she learned a lesson? Any remorse she may have felt for what she did became hate and resentment at the moment he took his vengeance... What was his benefit? Do you get benefit on the pain of someone else? How that makes you better than the person who cheats?

 

I myself have been in your place too... It was painful (it is still painful) ... I have never talked to her again.. that was her consequence...

I don't wish her any bad, she made her choices and I made mine.

 

have learned there is only growth through pain. then perhaps someone will look at their actions if there are consequences.

 

I agree, some never learn. Those that don't step on people like doormats and are so surprised when someone actually gives as good as they do. then they go crying to others about how badly they were treated.

 

I have no pity for bullies or people who hurt others. I expose my father and all his BS now. I do no speak with him, but I have told people who think e are the "horrible" daughters what he has said about them to others and behind their backs. Really bad rumors that can wreck lives.

 

But my father was allowed to go on with his Wrecking ball, because everyone bowed down to him and good Catholics,forgive.

 

He is very happy about that because evil was allowed to flourish behind the guise of "I will not stoop to his level". Problem is, you have to stoop to his level in order for him to leave you alone and respect you . Some people are just made that way. You have to get back in their face for then to listen.

[therhythm]

have learned there is only growth through pain. then perhaps someone will look at their actions if there are consequences.

 

I agree, some never learn. Those that don't step on people like doormats and are so surprised when someone actually gives as good as they do. then they go crying to others about how badly they were treated.

 

I have no pity for bullies or people who hurt others. I expose my father and all his BS now. I do no speak with him, but I have told people who think e are the "horrible" daughters what he has said about them to others and behind their backs. Really bad rumors that can wreck lives.

 

But my father was allowed to go on with his Wrecking ball, because everyone bowed down to him and good Catholics,forgive.

 

He is very happy about that because evil was allowed to flourish behind the guise of "I will not stoop to his level". Problem is, you have to stoop to his level in order for him to leave you alone and respect you . Some people are just made that way. You have to get back in their face for then to listen.

 

But who are we to call upon ourselves the task of teaching others?

Don't think your pain gives you the right to hurt back... that is only the easy and empty way and it teach no other lesson than hate.

In stead of having a person feeling guilty for what has done you will have a person who will think you deserved it... Great gain!

[jlola]

But who are we to call upon ourselves the task of teaching others?

Don't think your pain gives you the right to hurt back... that is only the easy and empty way and it teach no other lesson than hate.

In stead of having a person feeling guilty for what has done you will have a person who will think you deserved it... Great gain!

 

Really, so criminals should be left off the hook because even though they do hurtful and destructive acts,we should just let them slide. Since they will hate us and think we deserved to get robbed or stabbed or whatever. They will feel guilty if I do nothing. What?????

 

Mot people who consciously hurt others do not feel guilt. That is the problem. they are selfish,abusive and lack empathy.

 

They will feel no remorse if I do nothing. But perhaps a stint in jail, or being publicly humiliated may make them think twice before they hurt others.

 

I don't have kids. But I do know schools encourage children to out the bullies to teacher or someone higher up. Schools encourage telling if a student is stealing or whatever.

 

I am sure the child who tells will be seen as a "stool pigeon" or a snitch by the bully and bully will hate them. Because now poor bully has consequences. So what! Should the child be told to be quiet when he sees wrongdoing. Since the wrong doer will not feel guilt but resentment towards them?

 

I personally do not care!

 

I was raised by a man who is a pathological liar and has said and done evil things and has destroyed many lives, but will play innocent and try to point fingers at others or call people liars. He is a master manipulator. He has twisted things about me ,siblings and mother. As I told my mother, he would be in jail today if he had been exposed long ago.

 

I have outed him to everyone. I also told everyone about his "barely legal" mistress which he pretended was a girl is was helping prepare for college. I actually felt very sorry for her.

 

Surprise,surprise. He feels no guilt and resents me and my other sister for exposing him. You see, he cannot see his actions are bad. The only bad people are the ones who out him.

 

Oh, my stepsister and cousin have also exposed him for trying to rape them. He resents them too and tells vile lies about them and calls them liars.

 

I wish more people would stand up to evil! But so many hide the truth because they do not want to anger him, or have him go after them. Cowards!!!!

Edited July 5, 2013 by jlola

[Just a Guy]

Hi therhythm, So you would recommend that we turn the other cheek when some one slaps us and keep turning our cheeks to the abuser so that he or she can continue doing what they want at will, for as long as they want. This poor guy was cheated on by his ex-wife twice over and he still loved her and forgave her but she continued slapping him till he had to do what he had to do.

 

What he did would have caused her some grief and may at least act as a deterrent for her going forward otherwise she would move on to the next guy and treat him in the same way. As jlola said, one cannot ignore wrong when one sees it, or more pertinently, is a victim of such wrong. Your trying to turn the tables on him and make him out to be the Bad Guy here seems so preposterous. If you scan the forum for cheaters stories you will find that the most positive results for the BS have been when they have taken decisive action to treat the WS with some bitter medicine. See BryanP37's account. There have to be consequences for a WS otherwise he/she will learn no lessons, period. Warm Wishes!

[therhythm]

Hi therhythm, So you would recommend that we turn the other cheek when some one slaps us and keep turning our cheeks to the abuser so that he or she can continue doing what they want at will, for as long as they want. This poor guy was cheated on by his ex-wife twice over and he still loved her and forgave her but she continued slapping him till he had to do what he had to do.

 

What he did would have caused her some grief and may at least act as a deterrent for her going forward otherwise she would move on to the next guy and treat him in the same way. As jlola said, one cannot ignore wrong when one sees it, or more pertinently, is a victim of such wrong. Your trying to turn the tables on him and make him out to be the Bad Guy here seems so preposterous. If you scan the forum for cheaters stories you will find that the most positive results for the BS have been when they have taken decisive action to treat the WS with some bitter medicine. See BryanP37's account. There have to be consequences for a WS otherwise he/she will learn no lessons, period. Warm Wishes!

 

Nothing further from my intentions to say that OP is the bad guy... nor I am trying to condone the actions of his WS.

I don't advocate for people to turn their other cheek... actually OP willingly did that when he decided to forgive her the first time. I don't understand and I will never understand people who reconcile with a WS... I think the consequence for each WS should be to be rejected and forgotten by their victims...

But I think any act of revenge/vengeance is wrong and adds no benefit to the victims, not even the momentarily pleasure of evenness because if you are a good person your act will be followed by a sense of guiltiness.

I don't see how anger will help anyone to heal, just by learning to accept what happened and that it wasn't your fault and let what happened be just a pat of your past will you be able to move on and be happy.

Those who keep bewailing for their past misfortune will never be able to enjoy the present nor the future.

Edited July 5, 2013 by therhythm

[turnera]

Do you really think she learned a lesson?

I do. I think she learned that doing bad things CAN have a consequence. One of the most valuable lessons to learn in life, IMO.

 

Maybe, just maybe, she or OM will think twice before doing it to another person down the road. So doing this just may have saved some other poor schmuck down the road from being in one of their crosshairs.

 

It's no different than giving people speeding tickets and watching them stop speeding for fear of having to pay another ticket: even if you didn't remove the 'desire' to speed, you may have tempered their action to speed, out of self preservation.

 

And he didn't do it out of anger; he did it to create an effect; and it worked.

[jlola]

[quote name=

Those who keep bewailing for their past misfortune will never be able to enjoy the present nor the future.[/quote]

 

 

 

.They Help Evil To Triumph

When good men do nothing, evil triumphs. Evil, sin and sinful men must be opposed. God commands those who are good, not just to avoid evil but actively oppose it.

 

Christians are to not only to "have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but (also) reprove them" (Eph. 5:11). Those who do nothing about sin and evil, help the sin and evil to prevail. One who is silent when there are those around him in sin becomes a partaker with them (Eph. 5:7).

 

 

 

They Are No Longer Good

When good men do nothing, they are no longer good. Many have the mistaken notion that good is merely the absence of doing that which is wrong. Not so! One is good not merely because he does no evil, but because he is actively working for what is good. "Let him eschew evil, and do good" (1 Pet. 3:11). James explained, "Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin" (James 4:17).

 

 

While the conduct of these so-called Christians is shameful, what about those supposedly "good" men who do nothing? Those stand on the other side and do nothing but watch as their brothers are being slandered, slaughtered and devoured, they cease being innocent bystanders and idle spectators. Their failure to act not only allows evil to triumph, but makes them just as guilty as the spiritual cannibals they refuse to reprove and rebuke. In God's words, "even thou wast as one of them" (Obad. 11).

[therhythm]

.They Help Evil To Triumph

When good men do nothing, evil triumphs. Evil, sin and sinful men must be opposed. God commands those who are good, not just to avoid evil but actively oppose it.

 

Christians are to not only to "have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but (also) reprove them" (Eph. 5:11). Those who do nothing about sin and evil, help the sin and evil to prevail. One who is silent when there are those around him in sin becomes a partaker with them (Eph. 5:7).

 

 

 

They Are No Longer Good

When good men do nothing, they are no longer good. Many have the mistaken notion that good is merely the absence of doing that which is wrong. Not so! One is good not merely because he does no evil, but because he is actively working for what is good. "Let him eschew evil, and do good" (1 Pet. 3:11). James explained, "Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin" (James 4:17).

 

 

While the conduct of these so-called Christians is shameful, what about those supposedly "good" men who do nothing? Those stand on the other side and do nothing but watch as their brothers are being slandered, slaughtered and devoured, they cease being innocent bystanders and idle spectators. Their failure to act not only allows evil to triumph, but makes them just as guilty as the spiritual cannibals they refuse to reprove and rebuke. In God's words, "even thou wast as one of them" (Obad. 11).

 

I am no christian and I believe in no God... but wasn't the God of the Christians who said that you have to forgive 7 times 7? Was not Jesus himself the one who abolish the eye for eye law?

I am not going to annoy you guys any further here... but self entitlement of justice is always wrong!

[Just a Guy]

Hi therhythm, I think I see the point you are trying to make. I agree that acting out of vengeance does not do good to the person who initiates such action. However I think there are some mitigating circumstances here. This lady had ridden piggy back on the OP's move to Australia as his wife. Having gotten there she then picks up a job and when she feels comfortable she goes ahead and has her affair and tells the OP she does not love him any more and plans to go back to her home country. In the mean time she contacts her lover and tells him that she would like to resume her job and that he should help her out in returning and settling in Australia. She brings her mother in tow and is all set to start her affair with this guy in her office. It is just good luck that the OP was made aware of her return and caught her in time to thwart her nefarious plans.

 

I think the OP was justified in doing what he did because his ex wife was an unrepentant cheater who would have got away with her evil designs had he not reported her to her employer. Additionally, her lover was a married man who was intending to cheat on his wife and may be leave her for this woman. In preventing him from carrying out his plans I think the OP rendered yeoman service to the man's wife and probably him too, as he may have realized the extent of his folly in playing around with this untrustworthy woman. If the OP's wife had been some one intrinsically good who had strayed due to errors in judgement and good sense then such action by the OP would definitely have qualified as vengeance. In this case this woman was evil minded and completely callous. She did not care one whit for the feelings of the OP and trampled all over him and therefore deserved to be treated the way she was.

 

Also, if you remember in one of my posts I had said that someone like Jesus Christ himself would only have been able to implement the "Turn the other cheek" syndrome. Some amount of vengeance did creep into the OP's actions but, as a human being, I think that small weakness on his part can be ignored by taking the larger picture into account. Hope I have made some sense. Warm Wishes!

[Oberfeldwebel]

She was a Non -Muslim before marriage and got converted once she married me. so now she is converting back to her religion. What an insult and disrespect she brought to me and my religion.

 

She may have gone through the motions, but she sure didn't convert with any conviction, nor does she really follow the tenant's of any religion that I know. One of the major components of any religion is honesty and fidelity and she does not have a grip on either.

 

Does she have a mental disorder? Is she just plain mean? I don't know and it really doesn't matter any more. Her friend is has really given you good counsel, she has never been faithful to anyone. This really had nothing to do with you and all to do with her selfish desires. Luckily for you their are over 7 billion people in the world and over half of them are women. This leaves you with nearly 4 billion women to chose from....lol. There are many beautiful, honest and virtuous Muslim women in the world, I pray that you enjoy your quest to find one. Asalaam alikum.

[Zak1]

Hello friends, I am sorry for disappearing for sometime but I have got an update for all the members here.

 

We got legally divorced in the court the other day and the divorce papers will be ready by this Monday.

 

During the hearing, we both broke down and cried, but this had to happen as she never wanted to stay and I never wanted to accept her back in my life.

 

I am so broke today, feels everything is lost, Why she had to do this and leave a healthy marriage life. After the divorce, she held my hand and said sorry for everything and also said she would like to stay in touch with me forever. ( Need your suggestion whether to stay in touch with her or not).

 

She is going back to her home country once she gets the papers on Monday. I think after all the episode her lover seems to be maintaining distance from her that's y I think she is going back forever.

 

To Ans Oberfeldwebel question, Well mate I am not sure whether she converted with conviction, maybe she might not have otherwise she wouldn't have told me that she is converting back to Hinduism. Moreover, Had she been a true pious woman then she would have never cheated on me.

 

Her selfish attitude has screwed my life. Even after so much happened, I still miss her every second and cant get her out of my mind. I know its a tough process to move on as it totally depends on a person how quickly he or she can recover but for me I think I feel a lot of pain deep inside my heart and the wounds are quite fresh so time is the best healer I guess.

 

My love for her was so deep that I am still in a state of shock and cant accept this has actually happened to me. My dreams of spending a life with her forever, becoming a father of her child shattered totally.

 

I would like to thank you all of you for being there and supporting me all this while with such lovely suggestions. I will still keep posting as soon as there is any change in my life.

 

All the members here simply Rock!! Cheers!!

 

Please feel free to pass more comments on this episode if possible.

[Zak1]

Hi All,

 

Don't know how to express this but even after everything is over, I am finding it too difficult. I am very stressed, exhausted, lost lot of weight and the more I avoid to think about her it comes back to me.

 

Work has definitely gone for a toss as I am not at all functional and trying to force myself to concentrate but its just not happening. When I go through different forums on similar situations I realize I am not the only one who has been cheated. I can relate to how terrible a cheated spouse feels.

 

Why are people like us hurt by the ones we love the most in the world. Whatever the relationship situation maybe but infidelity can never be justified. How disgraceful can a person be to cheat his/her spouse again and again, jeopardize marriage and eventually leave. This shows the cheating spouse care a damn about his/her partner and treats as a doormat.

 

Cheaters do not realize how much stress and pain they put their partners into. For them it doesn't matter at all and moving on is something they must have never gone through as they leave because they already have a cake ready for them to eat.

 

At times I wonder, How could they not have a heart, no feelings, never remember the awesome time spent together. How is it so easy to give up on a relationship of years just because they came across someone within no time and fell in love. I have never understood how could anyone fall out of love? Marriage is about trust, love, commitment isn't.

 

Anyway, I need some suggestion on how to collect myself and come out of it? My heart is so broken and cant even think of making any girl enter my life as I have been betrayed in the worst possible way. I have actually lost trust in love. I feel too lost and don't even know what future holds as life seems to be meaningless.

 

Sometimes I feel I am really strong and care a damn about this bitch but again I get into a depression mode when I get nostalgic and remember the times we spent together.

 

Help me get out of this mess please.

[Chi townD]

Anyway, I need some suggestion on how to collect myself and come out of it? My heart is so broken and cant even think of making any girl enter my life as I have been betrayed in the worst possible way. I have actually lost trust in love. I feel too lost and don't even know what future holds as life seems to be meaningless.

 

 

Dude, I already told you in an earlier post. You need to KEEP BUSY! I mean, dude! You're in Australia! There is so much to do and see there! Go see it! If your in Sydney, go to Melborne or Perth or Brisbane! Have and adventure and explore! Find a hobby that puts you outside and interacting with people. Meeting new people. Join a gym, a running club, cycling club or dive club.

 

Here's the deal. Your Ex rocked your world. But she wasn't your entire world! We live our own lives and we CHOSE who we SHARE it with. We are in charge of our own happiness. It's up to you to make that happen.

 

You need to look at it as; your world didn't end, it just started.

[Zak1]

Hi All,

 

I am not sure how come few of the posts on this thread got deleted but anyway, Its been more than 2 weeks since divorce, she is back to her home country, she requested me to stay In touch with her after divorce and she said she will be in touch via blackberry, emails etc but she didn't bother to msg or call infact she deleted me from blackberry messenger.

 

2long - I am impressed by your judgment, I remember in one of your posts you did mention that she will never be in touch after divorce which she eventually did.

 

I am trying to collect myself and putting my life back on track, I don't think need to grieve anymore and that too for a whore like her who could easily be available to anyone. I admit it was my mistake to marry her even after knowing her snobbish character. Maybe she was damn beautiful/hot and I overlooked her character and married her. I played a biggest gamble of my life and paid heavily.

 

I am happy she is gone but I am quite shattered bcz of the way she betrayed me, it actually hurts that she never loved me that's why she cheated on me twice and eventually left.

 

I am damn sure she will come back to Aus bz she has not got her visa cancelled and didn't take the divorce papers and left, when I enquired at the court they said each copy of divorce papers can only be handed over to husband and wife and no one else can collect it on their behalf. So I strongly think she will come back and marry her lover. She has the outer beauty but from inside she is really dark.

 

My life looks quite uncertain at the moment, as I have few questions running on my mind like -

1. Don't know whether I would fall in love again?

2. Will I be able to trust anyone?

3. I will turn 31 in oct so don't know whether I should search for a nice girl and get married soon? am I prepared?

 

Too confusing but don't know how to land on a proper conclusion.

 

Any comments would highly be appreciated pls.

[turnera]

31? You're a BABY, lol! You're just beginning your real adulthood, Zak. You have PLENTY of time to just enjoy life and enjoy meeting lots of women to see who works best.

 

But I'll give you a clue, a lesson I taught my DD22 growing up, that may help: Don't look for the prettiest girl out there. Don't choose by looks. Because the beautiful ones, they've never had to work for anything - people want to be around them, give them stuff, make life easy for them, so they never learn to appreciate anything, and they're more likely to be conceited or to use people. Pick someone who's nice, but not stunning. I promise, she'll be nicer than what you had. And now you know, just because someone is beautiful, it doesn't make up for what's inside.

[Realist3]

3. I will turn 31 in oct so don't know whether I should search for a nice girl and get married soon? am I prepared?

 

Not only no, but hell NO! The last thing on your mind should be marriage right now. Take your time to heal. Date a few women and make sure you find someone that is right for you. Don't repeat the same mistake you made with the first one.

[turnera]

Here's a great book to read to find out about how we pick the wrong people and how to avoid it: Getting The Love You Want.

[Chi townD]

Don't worry about trying to find someone, or dating or even the possibility of marriage right now.

 

It's okay to be alone for a while. BUT! don't turn into a hermit either!

 

I've put post after post on your thread about getting out there and doing things; seeing things. Have you even done that yet?

[Bittersweetie]

31? You're a BABY, lol! You're just beginning your real adulthood, Zak. You have PLENTY of time to just enjoy life and enjoy meeting lots of women to see who works best.

 

But I'll give you a clue, a lesson I taught my DD22 growing up, that may help: Don't look for the prettiest girl out there. Don't choose by looks. Because the beautiful ones, they've never had to work for anything - people want to be around them, give them stuff, make life easy for them, so they never learn to appreciate anything, and they're more likely to be conceited or to use people. Pick someone who's nice, but not stunning. I promise, she'll be nicer than what you had. And now you know, just because someone is beautiful, it doesn't make up for what's inside.

 

Turnera, this reminds me of that old song:

 

If you wanna be happy

For the rest of your life,

Never make a pretty woman your wife,

So from my personal point of view,

Get an ugly girl to marry you.

 

Zak, I agree with the PPs, you need to heal so you should probably wait on serious relationships. It's ok to mourn the end of your marriage...I think sometimes people fail to do so and then it creates problems in future relationships. That said, there's no need to mourn forever either. I'm sorry this happened to you, and good luck in your new future.

[Zak1]

Hi All,

I am back again, it’s been almost 6 months since divorce and I feel I am still in pain and going through the grieving process. During these months I missed her everyday, I have made few friends and hang out with them on weekends but the moment I come back home I get into depression as my eyes keeps searching for her in the house. I am not sure about my weird behavior as at times I feel like going back to her home country and try to get her back and at times I just want to hate her for what she did to me. I did try to touch base with her but she has gone completely no contact with me, she has changed her number, not even on bb or facebook. I have been blocked by her family members. I don’t even know where she is and how is it possible for her to go no contact completely. I haven’t heard her voice since divorce and it kills me. I came to know from one of her friends that she is still in her home country so really don’t know what her plans are.I don’t understand how could she be so strong and not message me at all? It kills me all the time. Sometimes I feel I need her back but don’t know if I am gonna be doing the right thing. I don’t know if I really wanna be her doormat and accept everything she did because I still love her a lot. I miss her every second. I feel i have lost my self confidence and started to believe that i cant accept any woman in my life as i still love my wife. This feeling of betrayal, loneliness kills me. I hate eveything around me. What should i do?

 

Please help me friends. I am too stressed.

[Oldspiceywolf]

What are you doing to rebuild yourself esteem. Have you gotten rid of everything that reminds you of her, maybe you should move if you keep looking for her there.

Are you working out.

Focus on yourself, how's counseling going?

Have you determined why you think it's okay to love someone blindly when they don't respect you.

If you want to feel better you need to do all the work that's required to move on.

You didn't love your ex wife, how could you, you don't even know her!

You thought you knew her but she hid herself from you, you loved a person who didn't exist.

Time to put the big boy pants on and figure out what you want out of your life and the go do what it takes to get it, and don't say you want a person either because people are possessions. Love yourself(allowing people to walk over you is a sign you don't love or value yourself) so somebody else can love you too!

[karnak]

You didn't love your ex wife, how could you, you don't even know her!

You thought you knew her but she hid herself from you, you loved a person who didn't exist.

 

Time to put the big boy pants on and figure out what you want out of your life and the go do what it takes to get it, and don't say you want a person either because people are possessions. Love yourself(allowing people to walk over you is a sign you don't love or value yourself) so somebody else can love you too!

 

Very good points! Focus on them, Zak1!