Chi townD Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 she said apologized for the way she acted the past week or so too, with the hurtful things she said to me , and she agreed to go out to a friendly dinner. cha-ching! so now what? Gee, that's awefully friendly of you! See, you're getting your hopes up. SHe agreed to a friendly dinner, her agenda and yours are two totally different things. I see this going sideways from a mile away. 1
Author LifeGoesOnMan Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 Okay, but don't bring up the relationship during the dinner. That would be the absolute best way to kill any chances of getting back together. But it's really hard not to bring up the relationship at only 3 weeks out, which is why you have to back off for awhile. It's really awkward because you don't know where to draw lines, and it's not happening organically. Be prepared. thanks, it will be 4 weeks out next thursday, so i get a little more time lol just gonna be cool, act like its a 1st date. now if she brings up the relationship?
Author LifeGoesOnMan Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 (edited) Gee, that's awefully friendly of you! See, you're getting your hopes up. SHe agreed to a friendly dinner, her agenda and yours are two totally different things. I see this going sideways from a mile away. well see. im gonna think positive, not expect much and see what happens. its a week away too. i was the one who said friendly dinner, hey, its a start! gotta try build up that connection again some way, i think she is the type of girl who wants to be chased, and at this point im down to try and chase her.. what do i have to lose? i havent been talking to her outside of work for like 3 weeks, im suppose to just wait and possibly let some other guy scoop her, fxck that, i gotta try & start somewhere. its a nice place too Edited June 13, 2013 by LifeGoesOnMan
BC1980 Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 thanks, it will be 4 weeks out next thursday, so i get a little more time lol just gonna be cool, act like its a 1st date. now if she brings up the relationship? I would not entertain relationship talk because it puts too much of a strain on everything right now. It's fragile; one wrong move, and it will break. You need to steer the conversation in another direction if she brings it up. If she does bring it up, you might say let's not talk about it for now. Make a promise amongst the two of you not to talk about it. Just see what happens in the coming months.
Chi townD Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 what do i have to lose? i havent been talking to her outside of work for like 3 weeks, im suppose to just wait and possibly let some other guy scoop her, fxck that, i gotta try & start somewhere. its a nice place too Lets see.........your self respect, your dignity, your self worth... I see you having a hard time steering away from any relationship discussions. I wish you luck, but if I were you, I would just look at is as a dinner and nothing more, because that's EXACTLY how she's viewing it as.
Author LifeGoesOnMan Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 I would not entertain relationship talk because it puts too much of a strain on everything right now. It's fragile; one wrong move, and it will break. You need to steer the conversation in another direction if she brings it up. If she does bring it up, you might say let's not talk about it for now. Make a promise amongst the two of you not to talk about it. Just see what happens in the coming months. ok, im gonna try my best to play it cool. man i love this girl, i just want her back, i am willing to start way over again to make it right...but i just feel NC will not work and i dont want to move on, i want her.
Author LifeGoesOnMan Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 Lets see.........your self respect, your dignity, your self worth... I see you having a hard time steering away from any relationship discussions. I wish you luck, but if I were you, I would just look at is as a dinner and nothing more, because that's EXACTLY how she's viewing it as. yes i understand, its been tough man, but i feel like i gotta give it a shot and see what happens.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 The people that say "well, I have nothing to lose, I can't get hurt any further" tend to be the ones most devastated when their desperate attempts don't work. That being said, just be fun when you see her and don't talk about the relationship.
Author LifeGoesOnMan Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 The people that say "well, I have nothing to lose, I can't get hurt any further" tend to be the ones most devastated when their desperate attempts don't work. That being said, just be fun when you see her and don't talk about the relationship. i will do my best, i want to make this work. i feel this is a good 1st step.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 i will do my best, i want to make this work. i feel this is a good 1st step. Maybe. I wouldn't get too confident or cocky or look too far ahead. Take it for what it is -- a catchup and nothing else.
TaraMaiden Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 ok, im gonna try my best to play it cool. man i love this girl, i just want her back, i am willing to start way over again to make it right...but i just feel NC will not work and i dont want to move on, i want her. You know, with every comment you post, I can see your spine crumbling.... it's almost painful to watch. And that's sad. I really thought you had this one pinned. Instead, you've just turned everything on its head in an instant of weakness, and you're losing the plot. Shame.
Chi townD Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 This guy reminds me of Headashed so much! Okay, if it works out, then great! But, if you crash and burn, then we'll help out the best we can. 1
Author LifeGoesOnMan Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 You know, with every comment you post, I can see your spine crumbling.... it's almost painful to watch. And that's sad. I really thought you had this one pinned. Instead, you've just turned everything on its head in an instant of weakness, and you're losing the plot. Shame. ._. you know what killed me? i kept reading "got back together success stories" and i thought i'd give this a go lol there was actually one on here that was pretty popular and it inspired me! im hopeless.. but thank you for being there for me =]
Author LifeGoesOnMan Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 This guy reminds me of Headashed so much! Okay, if it works out, then great! But, if you crash and burn, then we'll help out the best we can. thank you, this is going to be a journey , hopefully this is the 1st step to working out... dont stop believing!
Author LifeGoesOnMan Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 Well, let's see how it goes. gotta play the "smooth operator" role.
TaraMaiden Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Is that what you call it? I call it the U turn..... I just marvel that after everything has been said and done, this is happening. Like I said, let's see how it goes.... 1
Author LifeGoesOnMan Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 Is that what you call it? I call it the U turn..... I just marvel that after everything has been said and done, this is happening. Like I said, let's see how it goes.... i know, i just cant let it go like this, just cant..
Author LifeGoesOnMan Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 Maybe. I wouldn't get too confident or cocky or look too far ahead. Take it for what it is -- a catchup and nothing else. meh. Lord give me a sign!
Chi townD Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 Oh! By the way, I forgot to ask. Where was she that she couldn't come to your place to pick up her crap? Was she out on a date? Having a friendly dinner?
TaraMaiden Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 i know, i just cant let it go like this, just cant.. People call me Mrs. pessimism, but not without cause. It's sad how many 'get back together' plans bite the dust... You honestly have no idea how much I would like to be wrong. Maybe if I was wrong more frequently, I wouldn't be such a pessimist.... 1
Author LifeGoesOnMan Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 Oh! By the way, I forgot to ask. Where was she that she couldn't come to your place to pick up her crap? Was she out on a date? Having a friendly dinner? im just gonna leave that one alone.
Author LifeGoesOnMan Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 People call me Mrs. pessimism, but not without cause. It's sad how many 'get back together' plans bite the dust... You honestly have no idea how much I would like to be wrong. Maybe if I was wrong more frequently, I wouldn't be such a pessimist.... ...positive thinking.
Chi townD Posted June 13, 2013 Posted June 13, 2013 im just gonna leave that one alone. Dude, it's a valid question. You need to have the blinders off. I mean, what IF she was out on a date? Does that change anything for you? Because, it were me, I would wonder where I actually stood with her. How much do/did I really mean to her? Look, if you're doing the dinner thing. Treat it as such. Just a night out with no agenda. Keep the convo light, and at the end of the meal, go your separate ways. Then, see what happens...
BC1980 Posted June 14, 2013 Posted June 14, 2013 I know where you are coming from. Really, I do, but you can't force this. It will take months. Are you ready to be on an emotional roller coaster for months, with the possibility that it won't turn out like you envision? I have been here, and it sucks. Putting yourself through that sh*t. Hanging on and trying to play it cool while giving the other person space. I'm just forewarning you. I hope it works out for you; I really do. But the relationship will never be what it was. It doesn't matter how much you want or think you can save it. The past is totally irrelevant. It doesn't matter what you used to have, how is used to be. Any contact with her has the potential to destroy you even further.
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