therhythm Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 nothing beats the mind shattering insanity of females around a highly desirable male. I don't agree with all the gender generalizations that either you or Tara are making here. I think on people as individuals. But I have to admit that women reaction around attractive men are usually very peculiar. I can tell you that from first hand... but if you want a more current example just look what happen in a concert of Justin Bieber... Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Or the sex might be bad, and so you don't want to stick it out for a relationship, and you can cut your losses rather than invest any more time. But let's hope for great sex. I like your optimism. Exactly. It's hard to lose. Think about it, if a guy ends things after sleeping with him, he isn't the guy for you anyways. The right one sticks around no matter what. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 I don't have any strict rules about sex. I've noticed it tends to happen sooner than when I was in college. It seems many women get more comfortable with enjoying sex and stop holding it as some sacred thing to keep locked away. Personally, it's about the dynamic of both the woman and myself. I had sex meeting someone on New Years (couple years ago). We decided to keep meeting for sex, were both comfortable with that process from the start, and we ended up really liking each other and had a LTR. Conversely, I was hanging out with a girl early this year and we didn't even kiss until date 6 or something, nearly 2 months. Different girl, different dynamic. No rules. Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 I don't agree with all the gender generalizations that either you or Tara are making here. I think on people as individuals. But I have to admit that women reaction around attractive men are usually very peculiar. I can tell you that from first hand... but if you want a more current example just look what happen in a concert of Justin Bieber... Moot point, how little girls react around a movie star is nothing how I act around an attractive male. I can appreciate a beautiful man, but my guy is the best thing ever and while I appreciate it, I wouldn't swoon after it. Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Moot point, how little girls react around a movie star is nothing how I act around an attractive male. I can appreciate a beautiful man, but my guy is the best thing ever and while I appreciate it, I wouldn't swoon after it. Nothing to say about little girls, go to a concert of Bon Jovi and you will see women of 35+ acting exactly the same way. I am not speaking about you in concrete as I am sure many woman don't over react to this situations but many (MANY) do. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Im not sure she's 35+ years old. That is true. I remember very clearly what I thought was "high quality" when I was 26, and the list of what qualified for me then was much different than what it is now. Like, night and day. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Right, which is why I tell men to never, ever take dating advice from older women. This doesn't make sense. What men are you talking about? Older men should take advice from older women. Younger men should take dating advice from younger women. They may mean well but what attracts a 35+ year old woman is irrelevant to a young man looking to score with his 19 year old female peers. Right, but that doesn't mean older women can't opine on how men can attract women. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Most fit, healthy, successful older men want to date younger women, especially if they want to start a family. That hasn't been my experience. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Most fit, healthy, successful older men want to date younger women, especially if they want to start a family. Female biology has some rather rigid limitations on procreation. Da fuq? Where do you people come up with this crap? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 A thing of the past....for the most part, yes. Some still prefer a more traditional, wait for commitment kind of relationship before having sex, but sex before marriage, sex earlier in a relationship has far less stigma than in the past. People are more open (or desperate) about their sexuality and for some, they even claim to be able to separate the act of having sex from emotions, so easier to have sex w/o the ugly that comes with when things don't work out. I personally, at 40+, am not interested in a relationship where sex is used as a "power tool" for manipulation and control. I understand that women are sensitive about having it too early, but then there should be no surprise when the guy walks away. If the guy likes you, he'll stay regardless of when you have sex. If he walks, he certainly wasn't the guy for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 how many women have you dated? Should a woman tell another woman how to touch a man's penis to make it feel good? Or, should a man do that? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 For me, the answer would be no it's not. As I said before, all or most of my friends are virgins in college. One is now getting married to another one. In fact, my generation of 23 year olds are actually more socially conservative than the older generation of 30 year olds. We are less likely to smoke, less likely to do any drugs, less likely to have teen pregnancy, more likely to be vegetarians, more likely to exercise, more likely to have friends of different races, etc. The millenials are a very moral generation. People always try to put in that we aren't, but we wouldn't have Taylor Swift as a icon if we were all sluts. There is actually statistic that showed college students are split 50/50. Half are virgins or in committed, long-term relationships and half sleep around. We are the generation of virginity bracelets (Selena Gomez, Hope Solo, Jonas Brothers) and announcing you are a virgin on live tv, etc. It's another form of rebellion. Where in the world do you go to college? This is so not the norm these days. As for the question yes it is a thing of the past for the most part. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Where in the world do you go to college? This is so not the norm these days. I'm assuming BYU. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 I think it is prudish, not that it is a bad thing, just compared to me. I just don't see the point in waiting out of fear, the beautiful thing about relationships is the risk. I fully believe in just jumping in and seeing what happens and going with the flow. Unplanned, I want you sex, is amazing, and I don't think waiting makes any relationship more likely to last, or giving it up too soon, more likely to not work. I think people who hold out on sex for them it is a control thing, and in a way, it is a game, a game I don't like to play. Nothing is guaranteed, so I could either have great sex and have it not work out, or no sex and have it not work out. Or, I could have great sex and it work out. From my experience, if a man likes you, when you have sex doesn't matter that much. So why not do it sooner? To each their own though! ... and yet... the best men still don't want women who have sex with every guy they go on a date a two with... And vice versa... All you are doing with your method is screening for relationship style compatibility... Which is good.... ...so it is no surprise that you find the guys who are compatible with you... guys who have slept around a lot who don't mind being with a woman who has slept around a lot. However, you are also having sex with men who aren't so nice either... Ok. Whatever works for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 A thing of the past....for the most part, yes. Some still prefer a more traditional, wait for commitment kind of relationship before having sex, but sex before marriage, sex earlier in a relationship has far less stigma than in the past. People are more open (or desperate) about their sexuality and for some, they even claim to be able to separate the act of having sex from emotions, so easier to have sex w/o the ugly that comes with when things don't work out. I personally, at 40+, am not interested in a relationship where sex is used as a "power tool" for manipulation and control. I understand that women are sensitive about having it too early, but then there should be no surprise when the guy walks away. If the guy likes you, he'll stay regardless of when you have sex. If he walks, he certainly wasn't the guy for you. It's not a power tool. Some women prefer not to have sex with strangers. Really not any more complicated than that. Usually I find that the men who insist on early sex are the ones trying to use sex for manipulation themselves... they want to try and 'lock in' a woman emotionally by sex. Basically, they are afraid to be known and have figured out that a lot of women will stick around after the fact (if the sex is good) no matter what garbage he's made of his life... Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Said every woman ever, moments before meeting George Clooney, Sean Connery, Ryan Gossling or Justin Bieber depending on what generation they're from. OK, but then thats like saying all men go hard when they see an attractive woman. Talking about famous people is ridiculous to begin with IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 ... and yet... the best men still don't want women who have sex with every guy they go on a date a two with... And vice versa... All you are doing with your method is screening for relationship style compatibility... Which is good.... ...so it is no surprise that you find the guys who are compatible with you... guys who have slept around a lot who don't mind being with a woman who has slept around a lot. However, you are also having sex with men who aren't so nice either... Ok. Whatever works for you. I have dated a majority of very NICE gentlemen, and the ones that were jerks were long term relationships for the most part. What justifies as "a lot"? Is there some magic number I don't know about? I've been with a lot of men who haven't slept around a lot either, a virgin too, the number hasn't ever meant anything. I actually have never met a man who cared. It is true though, whatever floats your boat! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 I have dated a majority of very NICE gentlemen, and the ones that were jerks were long term relationships for the most part. What justifies as "a lot"? Is there some magic number I don't know about? I've been with a lot of men who haven't slept around a lot either, a virgin too, the number hasn't ever meant anything. I actually have never met a man who cared. It is true though, whatever floats your boat! Don't bother with her... there is people who just need to judge others to feel better. You keep being fun and happy, she will understand it one day, or so I hope for her 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 I have dated a majority of very NICE gentlemen, and the ones that were jerks were long term relationships for the most part. What justifies as "a lot"? Is there some magic number I don't know about? I've been with a lot of men who haven't slept around a lot either, a virgin too, the number hasn't ever meant anything. I actually have never met a man who cared. It is true though, whatever floats your boat! There's a reason why you're in a happy relationship and certain other female posters aren't....and are bitter about that fact. You have an awesome attitude! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Honestly, if you are with a woman who will kiss, cuddle, make out, hold hands with, go on dates with, have intimate conversations with, and sleep in the same bed with a male platonic friend (and you're not into cuckolding), you've got way bigger problems on hand... ^ If this is how it's goes then it maybe ok but I'm still not sure about this waiting thing. I guess I'm so used to being the other man and things happen to move much faster and less of this back and forth. It comes off as BS to me so I'm like let's cut the crap and get to the point. The only experience with single women is the recent one that really pissed me off. Now she is back trying to talk to me and my very first date which was at age 25. Well that was fun come to find out she was prostituting herself. I mean honestly I'm just really skeptical in believing single women. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 (edited) There's a reason why you're in a happy relationship and certain other female posters aren't....and are bitter about that fact. You have an awesome attitude! (says the guy famous for double standards here...) Oh, and... Recovering alcoholics 10+ years older than me aren't among my dating pool... But, hey, as long as she is happy... and I mean that... Edited June 2, 2013 by RedRobin Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 (says the guy famous for double standards here...) Oh, and... Recovering alcoholics 10+ years older than me aren't among my dating pool... But, hey, as long as she is happy... Double standards have some benefit. The thing is it's not that they want a good girl. Most guys want a loyal woman and usually women with a large number of partners kind of makes one wonder is she loyal. Then there is a factor of women wanting kids and the question of paternity. I mean if a woman doesn't want kids then by all means sex it with anyone. The issue is if she has slept with a number of men at anytime and gets pregnant then there are issues. We live in a time of DNA but there are still issues. There are some women that portray loyalty and have been cheating and pass off the child as her BF or husband's child. Imagine what a man would feel to know a child is not his after investing his time and bonding with someone that was never his. We live in a time of protection but that is not 100% effective. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 (edited) Curious about all the 'power tool'/manipulation/'making the man wait'/exchanging sex for favours comments that tend to predominate threads like this. Especially when they are interlaced with exhortations to 'do what feels right to you instead'. Well, what if what 'feels right' IS waiting? Why do some of you think that if a woman chooses to wait, it's out of a desire to make YOU wait, or to manipulate you? Honestly, why is it so incomprehensible that some people, both men and women, genuinely choose to wait for themselves simply because they desire sex in a loving relationship and not with someone they've only met a few times? Because they don't enjoy sex with a person they barely know? Or out of concern for their sexual health, safety, and possible pregnancy consequences? Why is it always about the 'power'? Have people gotten so paranoid and jaded? I have no issue with people choosing a compatible partner, even if compatible means 'must have sex with me by Date #2'. Really, as long as it's working out for you, great! I am sure the OP realizes that not every man is going to be compatible with her choices, nor should they be. But it's pretty sad that society has overcome the judgmental attitude towards premarital sex, only to replace it with an equally judgmental attitude towards the opposite. For myself, I am happy to have a compatible man who himself chose to wait, as I did, for various reasons, and I have not once suspected that he did it as a 'power game'. Edited June 2, 2013 by Elswyth 7 Link to post Share on other sites
apple OR orange Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 i have found all women want sex after 20 years, and its friends only at first Link to post Share on other sites
ThomasD Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 A decent young woman with high moral values would want her counterpart. I have been married to one of those for almost 39 years. Even though we were wedding-night virgins, we enjoy sex A LOT and enjoy A LOT of sex. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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