! Girlfriend wants to risk everything for her dog.

[sillyanswer]

So what does your gf think should happen? Is she happy with the idea of moving to a worse area or further away from work in order to accommodate the dog?

 

This isn't just your problem to solve... it's hers too.

 

And... how is your gf's friend going to pay the extra $500 rent? Supporting your gf is one thing, but surely nobody is suggesting that her friend doesn't pay her way?

[Star Gazer]

Yeah definitely. I don't want to risk being screwed if something goes wrong.

 

You shouldn't have had her move in if this is how you feel. Moving in together shouldn't be taken lightly.

[AMusing]

Oh man. You really think it's a good idea letting the girl you had a threesome with--the one you still want to have sex with, even though your girlfriend doesn't want to--move in with you? I foresee, 3 months from now, an 18-year-old girl who lost her dog, her best friend, and her boyfriend, limping back home to mom & dad with a broken heart. Basically, this is all-around a bad idea.

 

If you live with this friend, you will be tempted, and you will eventually cheat (or at least make moves on the girl, and if she says no be prepared for her to tell your gf). If you insist your gf give up her dog, she will resent you for it. Be prepared for her to throw that in your face whenever you two need to compromise about anything. And when you break up, she will be so angry at herself for giving him away, but I guess that's a lesson she'll have to learn. Push your gf to move in with her friend, it honestly seems like your best shot at making this relationship work as long as possible. Or just break up with her now and save her some grief. I think most of us can agree this relationship is not going to last the distance.

[Eclypse]

I almost stopped reading as soon as I saw the word "pitbull". That would be an instant dealbreaker for me. I love dogs but I would NEVER share a house with an animal like that. Just pay attention to all the maulings that occur on a weekly basis (here anyway). Just last week a jogger here in Melbourne got set upon by 3 pitbulls that escaped their owners yard. The paramedics could see his heart through his ripped chest cavity. Yeah... you do not want that in your house. Particularly a dog whose history you know NOTHING about.

 

On top of the fact that you don't seem too flash on the idea of her friend living with you (I certainly wouldn't be) it seems like the solution is pretty obvious here. You need to put your foot down.

[clia]

I think you should keep your own place, and tell her that if she wants to bring her dog out she can find her own place. Don't put yourself in a position where you are stuck or can't afford the rent for an 18 year old girl. I can't imagine why you would want her friend to move in with you either. There is no reason you need to be living with someone at your age anyway. Have some fun before you settle down.

[Iseenamandie]

So what does your gf think should happen? Is she happy with the idea of moving to a worse area or further away from work in order to accommodate the dog?

 

This isn't just your problem to solve... it's hers too.

 

Yeah she actually is happy with moving to a worse area. She doesn't seem to care where we live as long as they accept dogs. I'm not sure if you know orange county, but we would have to move from the border of costa mesa/newport beach, to maybe anaheim. I've lived in anaheim before and moving back there would clearly be going backwards. I don't think she would realize how good it is here untill its too late.

[TaraMaiden]

I almost stopped reading as soon as I saw the word "pitbull". That would be an instant dealbreaker for me. I love dogs but I would NEVER share a house with an animal like that. Just pay attention to all the maulings that occur on a weekly basis (here anyway). Just last week a jogger here in Melbourne got set upon by 3 pitbulls that escaped their owners yard. The paramedics could see his heart through his ripped chest cavity. Yeah... you do not want that in your house. Particularly a dog whose history you know NOTHING about.

 

On top of the fact that you don't seem too flash on the idea of her friend living with you (I certainly wouldn't be) it seems like the solution is pretty obvious here. You need to put your foot down.

 

<<Rant>>

 

Oh, here we go.....

 

Shock!! Horror!!

 

It's a - <GASP!!> - PIT BULL!!

 

SMH!!

 

This is scaremongering....!

 

I get that pitbulls have a dangerous 'business end' but actually, when it comes to inflicting bites they're lower on the ladder than terriers, chihuahuas and labradors.

 

Pitbulls are dangerous animals which merit respect and correct handling - but then, every dog merits that, because every dog has that potential.

 

It's just that, "Unfortunately", pitbulls have earnt the reputation of being dangerous and undesirable because their bites are so strong.

Incidentally, a rotweiller has a more powerful bite.

Per square inch, it's a much more severe biting ability.

 

I have had clients contact me because of their dogs' increasing, worrying or developing 'aggression'.

 

Not once has it been for a pit bull.

 

Makes me cross.

We purposely breed these animals for specific roles and purposes - then complain that they have the potential to act to norm.

 

Provoke a Police officer holding a taser, a gun and a baton, and he will use them too....

All dogs, no matter what the breed, have the potential to be 'triggered'.

 

I can guarantee you the cases of dogs biting and attacking for absolutely no reason whatsoever - are almost unheard of.

There is ALWAYS a reason.

Always.

 

The trick is to understand your dog, know how to handle it, and make sure that the environment in which you keep it is suitable, correct and appropriate.

Most pet owners sadly treat their dogs like humans.

That is their biggest mistake.

 

That's where problems begin.

 

OP: If your GF treats that dog like 'her baby', then she is setting herself up for problems.

But let's not automatically assume that simply because the dog is the breed it is, you're immediately inviting Satan's spawn to live with you.

 

Fear, is seated in Ignorance.

 

<</RANT>>

[Star Gazer]

Yeah she actually is happy with moving to a worse area. She doesn't seem to care where we live as long as they accept dogs. I'm not sure if you know orange county, but we would have to move from the border of costa mesa/newport beach, to maybe anaheim. I've lived in anaheim before and moving back there would clearly be going backwards. I don't think she would realize how good it is here untill its too late.

 

You're acting like Anaheim is East LA.

 

What's more important to YOU? Living with your girlfriend? Or staying in a nice area, alone?

 

Your priorities are speaking volumes here.

[Iseenamandie]

You shouldn't have had her move in if this is how you feel. Moving in together shouldn't be taken lightly.

 

Yeah I know. I definitely blame myself for this. I was thinking that I don't want to lose a good girlfriend and end up lonely. I shouldve tackled the hard issue in the begining. I messed up by thinking it would go away once she sees how awsome cali is. Especially the location we are at. Bad Idea

[Iseenamandie]

You're acting like Anaheim is East LA.

 

What's more important to YOU? Living with your girlfriend? Or staying in a nice area, alone?

 

Your priorities are speaking volumes here.

 

I'm from LA so I know what you're saying. At the same time, driving to work from anaheim to newport beach every day, would be just like driving from anaheim to los angeles. Very inconvinient. But I think I can workout the solution that you agreed with earlier. The idea of them two getting their own place that accepts dogs. It would be perfect. I aslo just realized that they can get a studio apt in huntington beach or somewhere pretty close for about 900 a month. That way, she can have her dog and friend, I won't be worried about being stuck, and everyone will get what they want. Its perfect. I just brung up the idea to her a few minutes ago. She seems to ve considering it.

[Star Gazer]

I'm from LA so I know what you're saying. At the same time, driving to work from anaheim to newport beach every day, would be just like driving from anaheim to los angeles.

 

Anaheim to Newport is less than 30 minutes. Your current commute is what, 10 minutes?

 

So, you're fighting over an additional 20 minute commute to work?

 

It's going to take you about 15-20 minutes from your current place to get to HB to see your GF. Whether you live in Anaheim and commute longer, or continue living in CM/Newport and commute to see your GF, it's an even draw in terms of driving time.

 

 

I think you're just looking for excuses to not live with her, and that's fine, as she probably shouldn't be living with you anyway. Just be honest about your reasoning. If you're putting a 20 minute commute above your GF, then you need to reassess why you're in this relationship in the first place.

[CarboniteCammy]

Taramaiden--- LOVED the post. It's nice to see that some people have a handle on the bully breed situation. Refreshing!!!

 

I don't have bullies myself, but I have an affinity for them. I get my hackles up when I see "Oh, they're monsters!!!! Ahhh!!!" and the other side, "Oh, it's all in how you raise them! No dogs are born bad!!"

 

In reality, neither is precisely true, but that requires a balanced mindset and very few people seem to be able to look at pitties in a balanced manner.

 

And some people are just dog people through and through. I am one of those, and I would not want to be with out my dogs, ever.

 

It's not immaturity. It's not even really explainable.

[crederer]

Let the friend move in sans dog.

 

If they can't accept that then it's not going to work out for all of the reasons you posted.

 

Also she's young as hell man, she's not likely going to be "the one". Just some real talk, not trying to be a negative nelly.

[Iseenamandie]

Anaheim to Newport is less than 30 minutes. Your current commute is what, 10 minutes?

 

So, you're fighting over an additional 20 minute commute to work?

 

It's going to take you about 15-20 minutes from your current place to get to HB to see your GF. Whether you live in Anaheim and commute longer, or continue living in CM/Newport and commute to see your GF, it's an even draw in terms of driving time.

 

 

I think you're just looking for excuses to not live with her, and that's fine, as she probably shouldn't be living with you anyway. Just be honest about your reasoning. If you're putting a 20 minute commute above your GF, then you need to reassess why you're in this relationship in the first place.

 

I hear you and thanks again for your prospective. My thing is, its not just the commute. Its also moving in with a friend and a dog, giving up our privacy, and jepordizing my job and relationship all for the dog. I've been fired from more jobs than I can count and the main reason has been attendance. This is the longest I've ever worked at the same job and that is because it is so close. If I'm stuck in traffic, my car breaks down which I won't have money to fix, or I get pulled over for some reason, I'm late for work. Atleast right now if any of that happens, I can ride my bike to work.

[GorillaTheater]

I hear you and thanks again for your prospective. My thing is, its not just the commute. Its also moving in with a friend and a dog, giving up our privacy, and jepordizing my job and relationship all for the dog. I've been fired from more jobs than I can count and the main reason has been attendance. This is the longest I've ever worked at the same job and that is because it is so close. If I'm stuck in traffic, my car breaks down which I won't have money to fix, or I get pulled over for some reason, I'm late for work. Atleast right now if any of that happens, I can ride my bike to work.

 

Sounds like an easy call, then. Stay in your apartment. I wouldn't be hugely keen on the friend and her dog moving in either.

[clia]

For the record, I think you would be nuts to give up an apartment at $1025 a month near Newport Beach to move to Anaheim.

[pteromom]

You could turn the title of this post around to "Boyfriend wants to risk everything for his apartment".

 

I mean, seriously... if you want to save this relationship, surely you can find an apartment that accepts dogs.

[pteromom]

After reading the rest of this thread, I think I would be more concerned with the friend moving in than the dog, and think you are right to encourage them to get their own place.

[shexy]

My dogs are my kids, so yeah, I consider my dogs in every important decision I make.

 

She's only 18, that is VERY young to be in a living-with-someone-relationship. Think about how many 18-year-olds end up at 18 with the person they're with forever? I wouldn't bet money on it lasting forever. Sorry, I'm skeptical

[hppr]

Yeah she actually is happy with moving to a worse area. She doesn't seem to care where we live as long as they accept dogs. I'm not sure if you know orange county, but we would have to move from the border of costa mesa/newport beach, to maybe anaheim. I've lived in anaheim before and moving back there would clearly be going backwards. I don't think she would realize how good it is here untill its too late.

 

No way would I leave a safe apartment for a cheap one in a potentially ****ty area. And no, her friend cannot move in either.

 

It seems to me the best solution is to find a good home for the dog or to see if you can get an apartment in your area that accepts dogs (tell them it's a lab mix you idiot, don't say pitbull).

 

If you absolutely, positively CANNOT afford a dog apartment that is safe...then the dog ain't moving in either.

[Sunshine87]

I'm sorry but the title of this post made me burst out into laughter

 

I'll be back to post something constructive.

[TaraMaiden]

Taramaiden--- LOVED the post. It's nice to see that some people have a handle on the bully breed situation. Refreshing!!!

 

I don't have bullies myself, but I have an affinity for them. I get my hackles up when I see "Oh, they're monsters!!!! Ahhh!!!" and the other side, "Oh, it's all in how you raise them! No dogs are born bad!!"

 

In reality, neither is precisely true, but that requires a balanced mindset and very few people seem to be able to look at pitties in a balanced manner.

 

And some people are just dog people through and through. I am one of those, and I would not want to be with out my dogs, ever.

 

It's not immaturity. It's not even really explainable.

Not to de-rail the thread, but I'm a Dog behaviourist.

Trust me.

It's never the Dog.

 

End of T/J.

[hppr]

Not to de-rail the thread, but I'm a Dog behaviourist.

Trust me.

It's never the Dog.

 

End of T/J.

 

Oh yes it is. Some breeds are just plain bad breeds, very aggressive tendencies, poor breeding, all that stuff. Dobermans are a great example of this.

[Eclypse]

Not to de-rail the thread, but I'm a Dog behaviourist.

Trust me.

It's never the Dog.

 

End of T/J.

 

I agree with some of what you said but the OP doesn't know anything about this dog. If he knew it from when it was a puppy then maybe. But if he wants to risk his life with an unknown dog then he's free to make that choice. I certainly won't. I have no doubt that the owner treatment is a cause for many if these attacks, but it doesn't change the fact that people are being maimed or killed on a frequent basis. Tell it to the parents of the 4 year old girl who got killed here when the neighbours pit bull wandered into their house and attacked her with no provocation.

 

OP is just asking for trouble if he accepts this IMO, particularly as he doesn't seem too keen on the idea.

[TaraMaiden]

Oh yes it is. Some breeds are just plain bad breeds, very aggressive tendencies, poor breeding, all that stuff. Dobermans are a great example of this.

 

I'm sorry, but I'm convinced you're wrong.

 

If a dog has negative tendencies that's as a result of human interference and influence.

 

I've been doing this for over 20 years, and I know you're wrong.

No dog is 'naturally' bad.

If you want to discuss this with me, feel free to PM me.

I'm not going to derail this thread further.

 

Thanks.