RedRobin Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Right?!? So after sex she freaked out a bit, my female friend speculated that she may have BPD, but I saw her a couple days later, not a date, I just dropped by her place. We talked for a while and there was some more intimacy and everything seemed fine. So the part that is really odd to me is that we're in contact every day this week but it feels like she's waiting for me to "ask her out" again. Here we are on Thursday and unless I initiate, the weekend is going to just come and go. Doesn't feel right... um... she freaked out because she probably knew you were trailing after all these other women while 'chasing' her. you started out hot and heavy... then got on your fence as soon as 'dream girl' showed even an eensy-weensy bit of interest. You, dude are NOT chasing at all. You are not even that interested, based on your previous posts. Just like I predicted... you float your pseudo-intimacy all over town and then complain that SHE pulled back?? She freaked out?? She shouldn't have had sex with you, fence sitter. BPD my *ss.. You come across as an indecisive, BBD'er and she's the one with the issues?? Yea, something is not right... You'll need to keep 'chasing' her, buddy, because you haven't shown sufficient interest up to this point. Is my guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 um... she freaked out because she probably knew you were trailing after all these other women while 'chasing' her. you started out hot and heavy... then got on your fence as soon as 'dream girl' showed even an eensy-weensy bit of interest. You, dude are NOT chasing at all. You are not even that interested, based on your previous posts. Just like I predicted... you float your pseudo-intimacy all over town and then complain that SHE pulled back?? She freaked out?? She shouldn't have had sex with you, fence sitter. BPD my *ss.. You come across as an indecisive, BBD'er and she's the one with the issues?? Yea, something is not right... You'll need to keep 'chasing' her, buddy, because you haven't shown sufficient interest up to this point. Is my guess. If this is factually true, then I agree. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 If this is factually true, then I agree. Check out the other threads. If this is 'almost GF' he's asking about here, and she is now 'GF', then you'll see what I mean. OP, care to clarify? Is this the same woman? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CryForNoOne Posted May 17, 2013 Author Share Posted May 17, 2013 um... she freaked out because she probably knew you were trailing after all these other women while 'chasing' her. you started out hot and heavy... then got on your fence as soon as 'dream girl' showed even an eensy-weensy bit of interest. You, dude are NOT chasing at all. You are not even that interested, based on your previous posts. Just like I predicted... you float your pseudo-intimacy all over town and then complain that SHE pulled back?? She freaked out?? She shouldn't have had sex with you, fence sitter. BPD my *ss.. You come across as an indecisive, BBD'er and she's the one with the issues?? Yea, something is not right... You'll need to keep 'chasing' her, buddy, because you haven't shown sufficient interest up to this point. Is my guess. I'm not "trailing after all these other women". If anything, most of them are trailing after me, but your words not mine. I have options and took pause to consider all my options before sleeping with her and committing to a relationship. As I said in that thread, I needed to clear on my intentions because the last thing I wanted to do was sleep with her and then have regrets. I did not get on my "fence as soon as 'dream girl' showed up". She texted me out of the blue a couple weeks ago. I admit it threw me for a bit of a loop, but in the end I decided not to see her or encourage her in any way. I saw it as the universe testing me. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/391435-when-rains-pours You jumped on that thread to blast me as well and didn't bother to stick around to see that I chose to do the right thing. You assume the worst with men, and are judge, jury, and executioner. I'm a very analytical person and overthink things at times. I consider all options, but that in itself is not a crime... I've never shown indecisiveness or lack of interest when I'm with her. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/393271-does-she-have-bpd Her words: - "Sometimes you're too intense." - "I don't understand why you are so hard to scare off..." - "At times I really try and scare you away. I think it's because the intensity gets too much for me at times and its like I get teretts". Link to post Share on other sites
Author CryForNoOne Posted May 17, 2013 Author Share Posted May 17, 2013 If this is factually true, then I agree. It's not. It's a rash, judgmental interpretation of events that's full of assumptions... Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 (edited) I'm not "trailing after all these other women". If anything, most of them are trailing after me, but your words not mine. I have options and took pause to consider all my options before sleeping with her and committing to a relationship. As I said in that thread, I needed to clear on my intentions because the last thing I wanted to do was sleep with her and then have regrets. I did not get on my "fence as soon as 'dream girl' showed up". She texted me out of the blue a couple weeks ago. I admit it threw me for a bit of a loop, but in the end I decided not to see her or encourage her in any way. I saw it as the universe testing me. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/391435-when-rains-pours You jumped on that thread to blast me as well and didn't bother to stick around to see that I chose to do the right thing. You assume the worst with men, and are judge, jury, and executioner. I'm a very analytical person and overthink things at times. I consider all options, but that in itself is not a crime... I've never shown indecisiveness or lack of interest when I'm with her. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/393271-does-she-have-bpd Her words: - "Sometimes you're too intense." - "I don't understand why you are so hard to scare off..." - "At times I really try and scare you away. I think it's because the intensity gets too much for me at times and its like I get teretts". Oh, baloney. The fact that it took you more than two seconds and a thread creation to figure out what to do... at your age? Give me a break.... I still think that 'GF' made a mistake by jumping in the sack with you. Now you are calling her bipolar for having doubts about your intentions and interest? What next?? oh, yes... what's next is she offered to make you a wonderful meal and care for you to make your 5th date special... and you put her off so you could ponder your options. Now you want her to fall all over you? Again, give me a break. You have fence-sitter painted all over you. Commitment my back-side. If you were so committed you wouldn't create THIS thread. Edited May 17, 2013 by RedRobin Link to post Share on other sites
Author CryForNoOne Posted May 17, 2013 Author Share Posted May 17, 2013 Oh, baloney. The fact that it took you more than two seconds and a thread creation to figure out what to do... at your age? Give me a break.... I guess I should apologize for choosing to think things through rather than making rash decisions... I still think that 'GF' made a mistake by jumping in the sack with you. Now you are calling her bipolar for having doubts about your intentions and interest? I did not call her bipolar (or BPD). The one mention of it in this thread was that a female friend I confided in INSISTED she has BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). The thought never crossed my mind until she insisted, so I did research it a little and learned the BPD and bipolar are two distinct conditions. I'm skeptical she has either but if she did, her symptoms are more inline with BPD. What next?? oh, yes... what's next is she offered to make you a wonderful meal and care for you to make your 5th date special... and you put her off so you could ponder your options. Reread the thread please... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/391435-when-rains-pours#post4864630 I was the one who offered to make a wonderful meal and I did. Now you want her to fall all over you? Again, give me a break. You have fence-sitter painted all over you. Commitment my back-side. If you were so committed you wouldn't create THIS thread. I created this thread because I've asked out every time, planned every date, paid for every meal, picked her up and dropped her off every time, and cooked for her. I've also made her YouTube videos because she told me she gets turned on every time she see's me sing and play guitar. So yes I'm getting a little sick of the chase, but please don't tell me I'm a fence sitter... Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Reread the thread please... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/391435-when-rains-pours#post4864630 I was the one who offered to make a wonderful meal and I did. Ok, my mistake. You planned a romantic evening... then backed out at the last minute, claiming something other than... "hot girl texted me and I'm having doubts"... ok, fine. I created this thread because I've asked out every time, planned every date, paid for every meal, picked her up and dropped her off every time, and cooked for her. I've also made her YouTube videos because she told me she gets turned on every time she see's me sing and play guitar. So yes I'm getting a little sick of the chase, but please don't tell me I'm a fence sitter... Alright. Then just tell her you'd like her to initiate sometimes. ... but please don't tell me you are a guy who doesn't love the chase or don't fence sit whenever any remotely attractive woman breezes by. Every girl who has chased YOU has ended up by the curb. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CryForNoOne Posted May 17, 2013 Author Share Posted May 17, 2013 Ok, my mistake. You planned a romantic evening... then backed out at the last minute, claiming something other than... "hot girl texted me and I'm having doubts"... ok, fine. Yes. Those are the facts except physically they are both very attractive to me so that has NOTHING to do with it. I labelled the other my "dream girl" because we share a ton of quirky hobbies that "hot" women are rarely into... Alright. Then just tell her you'd like her to initiate sometimes. I'm going to because she obviously likes me and I know I'm not getting "played". And it WAS fun for a while but I want to change the dynamic before it really starts to annoy me and I lose interest. ... but please don't tell me you are a guy who doesn't love the chase or don't fence sit whenever any remotely attractive woman breezes by. Every girl who has chased YOU has ended up by the curb. I won't deny any of that. I'm not perfect by any means but I'm also not the complete $h!thead you make me out to be sometimes... Link to post Share on other sites
Author CryForNoOne Posted May 17, 2013 Author Share Posted May 17, 2013 I would cut my loses and move on. Personally I would have stopped after 3rd date. One thing I don't do is kiss butt. Just because a woman shows up for a date doesn't mean she's really interested, besides there's plenty of women out there can't make up their mind. If any woman friend zone me there no chance of future. I don't it's weak to go out with a woman who friend zoned you. She is clearly showing she can't make up her mind. I agree with you general sentiment but how does it possibly apply in my situation? I have not been FZ by any stretch of the imagination. Date #2 we made out until 330AM. Date #3 she came over to my place and we fooled around without sleeping until 7AM then I took her home. Date #5 We had sex and I took her home at 3AM. More importantly, I really don't care since I have a great time whenever I see her and I know she does too. I'd just like her to start showing some initiative on planning dates. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Yes. Those are the facts except physically they are both very attractive to me so that has NOTHING to do with it. I labelled the other my "dream girl" because we share a ton of quirky hobbies that "hot" women are rarely into... Really? How come all of your posts go on and on about how 'hot' they are... rarely about their personalities... except as an afterthought or subscript. I'm going to because she obviously likes me and I know I'm not getting "played". And it WAS fun for a while but I want to change the dynamic before it really starts to annoy me and I lose interest. Why would you lose interest if you are enjoying the time you spend with her, even if you ARE initiating? If you lose interest in women who chase YOU, and that is obvious to her and that is your pattern, why-oh-why should she chase you and initiate?? Sounds like relationship suicide for her... I won't deny any of that. I'm not perfect by any means but I'm also not the complete $h!thead you make me out to be sometimes... sometimes you *act* like a $h!thead... doesn't mean you are all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 My idea of the chase is totally different then the OP's. Attempting to go on a date with someone multiple times and getting the run-around, silly games, flaking or obvious avoidance of setting a date while her still seeking my attention is what I consider the chase. I loose interest & end up freezing them out because honestly the juice isn't worth the squeeze. Link to post Share on other sites
jeni45667 Posted May 18, 2013 Share Posted May 18, 2013 This post raises a great question. I always show my intentions clearly. If I were dating someone who seems to love to be chased, I will have a talk with her and say, "I'm really into you. Thinking about you is the best part of my day. I don't mind to chase, but I want to see you initiate more. I think it's sexy." Link to post Share on other sites
Author CryForNoOne Posted May 23, 2013 Author Share Posted May 23, 2013 Really? How come all of your posts go on and on about how 'hot' they are... rarely about their personalities... except as an afterthought or subscript. Why would you lose interest if you are enjoying the time you spend with her, even if you ARE initiating? If you lose interest in women who chase YOU, and that is obvious to her and that is your pattern, why-oh-why should she chase you and initiate?? Sounds like relationship suicide for her... sometimes you *act* like a $h!thead... doesn't mean you are all the time. I'd love for you to find the posts where I go on and on about how how they are because they don't exist. I've merely stated that I only date women who are 8 +s and you and a few others hate how I use numbers to describe a woman's looks... I would lose interest if I felt I had to continue impressing her by planning all the dates, cooking for her, and recording more songs. As it turns out, right as I started feeling a little frustration about that, the "chase" came to an abrupt end this past weekend and I didn't have to say a word. We really made the transition to feeling like a couple and things are great right now. BTW Good point about my attraction to the chase. It would be relationship suicide for her. I don't want it to suddenly go one sided the other way, so I'm glad right now there is still a little push-pull... Link to post Share on other sites
c57dood Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 You people make dating sound like a god damn robot training guide. Step 1: Man ask woman out, man takes the lead. Step 2: Repeat step one 3 times Step 3: Reciprocate and begin to dance Step 4: Physical affection commences Step 5: intercourse Step 6: Strange feelings of mutual attraction Step 7: Sex Step 8: Break up and go back to step 1 It's no wonder you guys and gals are single haha Link to post Share on other sites
tbf Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 Cry, I have no idea why you're still chasing the cray-cray one. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 So I guess the "chase", or maybe "courting" is a better term, is continuing in my situation. We talk everyday but no hint of going out again until I asked her if she wanted to go hiking this weekend, to which she replied "I'd love to!" Then she asks me what I'm doing Friday, to which I replied no plans. She said she's going out with an old friend for dinner but "Can I call you after?" I guess I'm starting to tire of the mild anxiety of asking her out, and uncertainty around planning my evenings. This weekend will be date #7 and #8. I don't remember ever "asking a girl out" so many times... Uh, she is needy. Complete turn-off Link to post Share on other sites
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