dreamingoftigers Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 They're a sicker bunch than the ones that they're "helping." Never ever (not saying you would) use that as a 'card' against an X, unless it's an absolute last resort. The three greatest lies ever told! 1. I love you! 2. The checks in the mail! 3. Hi! We're from the government! We're here to help! I've never heard anything good come of CPS getting involved in what is essentially a separation and divorce. It use to be that we once looked up to lawyers, judges, the politicians, Doctors, the police? Now they're the very ones we have to watch out for the most! Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 They're a sicker bunch than the ones that they're "helping."QUOTE] They are those that can be, but the problem to me is that there is an over-abundance of sociology/psychology majors chasing a finite number of viable jobs for which their is a limited market job. CPS jobs are civil service / union jobs, and as such, they earn promotion and raises through finding horrific front-page cases and turning themselves into heroes? Thus they are always looking to find that one case that will make them look as such. Even if they have to manufacture it. Literally creating something out of the wisp of nothing in the air? I don't trust "tha Man". I'm a law abiding citizen? But I would never permit a police officer to search my car without a warrant and a supervisory office on the scene. Just too many young bucks out there on the police force trying to buck themselves up the food chain and chain of command? This isn't a slant against police officers, lawyers, preachers, ministers, psychologist, Md's, judges, etc? And in for the most part? I believe most of them do hold themselves to a higher professional standard? And so let's say they fall within the 'bell curve" of being 99.999 %? Its that >.00001 % that's got me worried, that can cost me tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars, years in jail (just because he got it wrong, planted some weed in my car to make a bust ~ whatever!) that I'm worried about. Soooooooooooooooooooo............................ Let's just all play this slow, careful, and keep it simple like! By the numbers, and explain things to me like I were a four year old. Cops these days are all about having dash cams on their cars? But you pull the reverse on them, they want to get hostile? "I AM REACHING INTO MY POOOOKEEETTCCTTTT TOOOOOOOO GEEEETTTT MYYYYYY DRIVERS LISCENSE! CLEAR? UNDERSTOOD? GOT ME? Because my azz ain't going to be no damn "accident" nor "Oops?" nor "My Bad!" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 26, 2013 Author Share Posted May 26, 2013 Gotcha, I'vebeen brought up to trust the system, one of my best friends is a police officer. Bit II'll play it cool, thanks for the perspective and the heads up. Honestly all I want is for my litrle girl to be safe and happy and healthy. As for the wife, she burned her bridges with me last night, and pretty mich all she jas done regarding this. I still worry about her and still love the woman she used to be, but she's so set on this new persona I can do nothing to help her. Not wothout jeopardizing my daughter's well being and my own... sad really. Dan 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 Gotcha, I'vebeen brought up to trust the system, one of my best friends is a police officer. Bit II'll play it cool, thanks for the perspective and the heads up. Honestly all I want is for my litrle girl to be safe and happy and healthy. As for the wife, she burned her bridges with me last night, and pretty mich all she jas done regarding this. I still worry about her and still love the woman she used to be, but she's so set on this new persona I can do nothing to help her. Not wothout jeopardizing my daughter's well being and my own... sad really. Dan I hear you, I feel like my husband died four years ago. We have actually been working on reconciliation since, but I'm still trying to figure out just who the Hell this guy is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 26, 2013 Author Share Posted May 26, 2013 One of the worst things about this process is that the one person you could always count on to be there and help you through things is gone and that's the reason you need support... how totally F'ed up is that? Missing companionship, Dan Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 One of the worst things about this process is that the one person you could always count on to be there and help you through things is gone and that's the reason you need support... how totally F'ed up is that? Missing companionship, Dan Very very true. Very difficult when they stay too. Because then you end up trying to talk to your "best friend" (them) about this a-hole spouse you have to deal with. Doesn't work well. And across the day you think of things to say to them or stories to tell, but there's no one there anymore. It does go away. I don't know if you are a person of faith. But one day I just decided to replace talking to my husband with talking to God. I mean, he'd never betray me, he understood my loneliness, and he was always interested in me, so who better to talk to? It gave me a lot of inner peace. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 27, 2013 Author Share Posted May 27, 2013 Faith... everythibg I've put faith in has failed me... prefer soneone who can talk back and has opinions... Dan Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 27, 2013 Author Share Posted May 27, 2013 Today my daughter and I went and got her some new shoes and pants, then I took her out to eat. When we got home we watched a couple of her favorite shows together. It's getting time for bed and the really bad emotions are seeping in... being strong for her keeps me going but now it's going to get really quiet in the house, and after the verbal bashing I took the other night I'm just feeling really hurt and alone... One of the things she said was she wanted a man who would rescue her, but at the same time she wants nothing to do with me... I woud love to be her rescuer, but she won't let me... and to be honest, after all she said, how could I. Alone, Dan Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Today my daughter and I went and got her some new shoes and pants, then I took her out to eat. When we got home we watched a couple of her favorite shows together. It's getting time for bed and the really bad emotions are seeping in... being strong for her keeps me going but now it's going to get really quiet in the house, and after the verbal bashing I took the other night I'm just feeling really hurt and alone... One of the things she said was she wanted a man who would rescue her, but at the same time she wants nothing to do with me... I woud love to be her rescuer, but she won't let me... and to be honest, after all she said, how could I. Alone, Dan Go out for a walk in a park. Make yourself a bacon sandwich in the nude at 3 a.m. (Don't tell me details though ) Have you read any good books lately? Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 27, 2013 Author Share Posted May 27, 2013 Books... I am an avid reader. I can't seem to read any more though. I got a ton of books for my kindle from a friend and I started to read them, but then after a few minutes I'm pages in and can't remember a thing I've read. I can't go for a walk in the park when I'm alone at night my daughter is only 8 so she can't be left alone. Bacon, nude... bad call. I don't really eat much as it is, probably a bad idea to eat poorly. Not to mention the splatter effect. I wish I could sit with my wife and pick apart all the things she's said to me the other night, but I know her ears are deaf to me, and reality in general right now. I miss her so much, and yet, she has dealt me such a blow... I will see her tomorrow. I'm going to help her move her desk to her new home if she comes over early enough. Here's hoping there are no blow ups. My daughter will be with us so hopefully she will keep her cool. Feeling empty, Dan Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 27, 2013 Author Share Posted May 27, 2013 Well the wife borrowed soneone elses truck and came and got the majority of the large objects today, good because I didn't have to interupt daddy daughter day, bad because I still don't know where she lives. My only concern there is when she has my daughter, if something goes wrong I need to know where to go... I'm still giving her our entertainment center so when I'm ready to move that I'll see. Tomorrow being Tuesday she will have my daughter and I'll be alone in the house again. Now that her things are gone its really empty. My daughter has built a great fort in the room I had put all my wifes things, quite the little addaptive girl I tell ya. Miss my best friend, Dan Link to post Share on other sites
coaches24 Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 Well the wife borrowed soneone elses truck and came and got the majority of the large objects today, good because I didn't have to interupt daddy daughter day, bad because I still don't know where she lives. My only concern there is when she has my daughter, if something goes wrong I need to know where to go... I'm still giving her our entertainment center so when I'm ready to move that I'll see. Tomorrow being Tuesday she will have my daughter and I'll be alone in the house again. Now that her things are gone its really empty. My daughter has built a great fort in the room I had put all my wifes things, quite the little addaptive girl I tell ya. Miss my best friend, Dan I think the next time she comes to take your daughter you need to tell her what you just posted because your exactly right. It comes with having a kid with someone, like it or not your binded to that person for the rest of your kids life so she really can't just disapear completely. When the child is concerned you need to be informed of everything whether the ex likes it or not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 28, 2013 Author Share Posted May 28, 2013 She picks her up from the bus stop or school if she's early. I will ask her to text me her address though. Dan Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 28, 2013 Author Share Posted May 28, 2013 Just took my girl to the movie Epic, great movie for kids... of course it brings up the 5 stages of grief in the first 5 freakin minutes which almost made me laugh... No escape, Dan Link to post Share on other sites
coaches24 Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 Just took my girl to the movie Epic, great movie for kids... of course it brings up the 5 stages of grief in the first 5 freakin minutes which almost made me laugh... No escape, Dan Yea I took my daughter yesterday. It was pretty good. She asked to go again today lol ( I told her no to that one). Link to post Share on other sites
Simpleoldschool Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 " Just took my girl to the movie Epic, great movie for kids... of course it brings up the 5 stages of grief in the first 5 freakin minutes which almost made me laugh... No escape, Dan " good to see your doing better. good to see it got you laughing.:Dim thinking dan, and quite harshly about how to do quite a few things and on what to post. im trying to keep all the elements of everything you want, and trying to figure out quite a few things. i wont share my thoughts but i hope your doing ok. i really want you to be doing well. glad you got dad and daughter time. STILL JEALOUS DAN! hahaha:D Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 29, 2013 Author Share Posted May 29, 2013 Today is a seriously down day. Wife has daughter tonight in her new place. She texted me tonight saying she is going to keep her for 3 nights a week now.... feeling powerless. Sad to not see my girl for so long. Think I will go soend time at her school tomorrow jist to see her and help out the kids. Sad and lonely, Dan Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 29, 2013 Share Posted May 29, 2013 Today is a seriously down day. Wife has daughter tonight in her new place. She texted me tonight saying she is going to keep her for 3 nights a week now.... feeling powerless. Sad to not see my girl for so long. Think I will go soend time at her school tomorrow jist to see her and help out the kids. Sad and lonely, Dan Erm, don't you have any say? What does your daughter think? Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 29, 2013 Author Share Posted May 29, 2013 With no parenting plan in place, what say can I have? Obviously I need to get that done soon, but honestly 3 days with mommy and 4 with daddy is kinda hard to argue with at this point. When I got the good night phone call from my daughter last night she said goodnight see you tomo... oh, in 3 days... sounded sorta sad about it. But she won't say she's unhappy about it infront of her mom... At least the wife agreed not to have the other man over on days my daughter is there. So tired, Dan Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 29, 2013 Author Share Posted May 29, 2013 I still can't believe this is happening. I love my wife so much and we had such a great relationship. Sure there were imperfections, but really nothing to cause an unfixable rift by any means. I don't understand how one person can be so focused on the individual instances that caused upset over such a long period of time that they give up on the overall amazing relationship. I know she kindled a new spark with someone else and that emotionally that can be a strong pull, but I really thought what we had was so much stronger. Missing the future, Dan Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 To anyone who reads this and thinks that what they are going through is even remotely simila. .. please let me tell you, I just spent half an hour reading this and not only did I not recognize myself, I laughed at what an idiot I was. I can remember feeling these things, but it all just seems like a bad dream that has totaly faded. I can honestly promis it all get better. Except the typos from posting on a phone.. those still suck! I owe a lot of my recovery to the posters on this and my other thread, so I wanted to say thank you all so much! WD 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ArtIsMyThing Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Good to see this is over for you Dan - I am 11 months down the line - thought i had it all together - today i just feel so sad - not devestated but just sad .. i am glad to see you moved on with life and healed 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ralfgarnett Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Thinking of you Dan mate, life is still pretty crap here too but I think very slowly I am coming round slowly bit by bit I think, maybe, perhaps, not sure, possibly, potentially, could be, don't think I will ever trust again or get involved with anyone, too much pain, confusion, heart ache, grief, loss, loneliness, not feeling too pukka. Link to post Share on other sites
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