Author BluEyeL Posted April 25, 2013 Author Share Posted April 25, 2013 So I've been to class, and I've been thinking again. Yes, he didn't initiate anything yet. IF, and only IF he actually initiates something, I'll go to one of those matches, see how I feel and if I think I honestly can take it or leave it, keep it as strictly platonic friendship and not get emotionally involved, we can stay friends. If I feel shaky, and he initiates another one, I'll say no. But I doubt we'll get that far, since he's not into me, why would he actually hang out, even as back burner, he would just email (he doesn't text) or say hi when we see each other around campus. So probably I'll not need to make this decision in the end anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 I don't mean to bring you down, and the reality is that I can't tell the future and anything is possible. But, I've been there, done that with these types of guys. Every now and then they flit into your life and drop a little nugget that makes you think they might be interested, and you get your hopes up, and they say all kinds of nice things and make you think they really like you, and then off they go for another few weeks or a month or however long. And then the next thing you know they are engaged to another woman. That said, I see no problem with you meeting up with him, provided he initiates it, and provided you go into it with your eyes wide open. I just don't want to see you waste a lot of time mooning over this guy and giving him the focus of your attention when there is likely another, better guy out there who is going to ardently pursue you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 Just make sure you kick his butt on the court. He'll find that impressive. Seriously, you say he is raising two children. Or do I have the men mixed up? This may account for some of his squirrelly behavior. How does a guy raising his kids have time to be a "player" (hate that term)? There is nothing that will give you a better idea of what kind of man he really is than seeing him interact with his kids. There I go again, giving the benefit of the doubt! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted April 25, 2013 Author Share Posted April 25, 2013 Just make sure you kick his butt on the court. He'll find that impressive. Seriously, you say he is raising two children. Or do I have the men mixed up? This may account for some of his squirrelly behavior. How does a guy raising his kids have time to be a "player" (hate that term)? There is nothing that will give you a better idea of what kind of man he really is than seeing him interact with his kids. There I go again, giving the benefit of the doubt! Yes, he is raising his two kids on his own, very similar situation with mine, and he is also from Europe, has the same profession, hence the connection. I'm pretty sure that if he actually initiates the tennis thing, he'll bring the kids, and I'll then bring my son. He once told me that it is harder for him because it's going to also be a question of how a new woman will interact with his kids, because he said he's is really protective. Let's not make scenarios, but I also thought he might possibly, potentially, maybe etc. want to test and see how I interact with his kids. At this age, people are more calculated, maybe less passionate. clia, I completely agree with you and actually I'd like to thank you for pointing out the obvious, it's actually very helpful. That's why I ask, otherwise it's easy to fantasize and lose sight of the potential (ugly) truth. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted April 25, 2013 Author Share Posted April 25, 2013 Jefezen is making some good points related to friendzone on another thread Although I think his and that guy's prospects are very bad. Mine are better (just kidding) Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted April 26, 2013 Author Share Posted April 26, 2013 I just don't want to see you waste a lot of time mooning over this guy and giving him the focus of your attention when there is likely another, better guy out there who is going to ardently pursue you. I've been thinking, really missing out on a guy who will ardently pursue me? What are the chances of that really happening, I think they trend asymptotically towards zero.... Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 I've been thinking, really missing out on a guy who will ardently pursue me? What are the chances of that really happening, I think they trend asymptotically towards zero.... He's out there, BluEyeL! Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 I've been thinking, really missing out on a guy who will ardently pursue me? What are the chances of that really happening, I think they trend asymptotically towards zero.... In the movies at least you have to take your glasses off and let your hair down after saying that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted April 26, 2013 Author Share Posted April 26, 2013 In the movies at least you have to take your glasses off and let your hair down after saying that. The "ardently pursuing guy" is just a fantasy, I'm telling ya. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tricolors Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 I've been thinking, really missing out on a guy who will ardently pursue me? What are the chances of that really happening, I think they trend asymptotically towards zero.... They're real, I'm doing it right now (as you know from my other threads!) Just gotta keep looking. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted April 26, 2013 Author Share Posted April 26, 2013 They're real, I'm doing it right now (as you know from my other threads!) Just gotta keep looking. I know, you are my new idol here on this board (there is another one like you too, newer), and I'm looking for your (older) twin in spirit. But it's like looking for a gold nugget, or the needle in a haystack. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 The "ardently pursuing guy" is just a fantasy, I'm telling ya. I found my unicorn -- you'll find yours, too! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted April 26, 2013 Author Share Posted April 26, 2013 I found my unicorn -- you'll find yours, too! Good for you. I'm in a bad mood I think.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted April 26, 2013 Author Share Posted April 26, 2013 You are definitely a Rules girls, so you're telling me that the rules actually work huh? Link to post Share on other sites
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