mcdo Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 oo btw this is probably an unlikely situation but if my ex does text me.. do i reply? i know anticipation is a bad thing but was just wondering whats the right thing to do. I would say no don't reply. Ever. Only reply if it's an "Oh God what have I done, I never should have left you, I want you back, etc. etc." type message. And make sure you're damn well certain he's serious. Responding to any other type of message will only prolong your pain. Believe me, I've been through this. I tell you what, getting to a stage when you get a text from your ex and you immediately hit "delete", put the phone back in your pocket and get on with your day - that is one heck of an empowering feeling. You're kicking this breakup in the ass and at the same time your ex is probably baffled at your lack of response. It's quite possible that they are now the ones who feel foolish. Try it out, it works wonders! A couple of weeks ago I posted an update of the good place I'm in right now and what I did to get here. I dunno, it could be of some help: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/383261-light-end-tunnel#post4747633 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starrdust Posted April 12, 2013 Author Share Posted April 12, 2013 Thank you! All your posts reinforce a sense strength. By the way, I'm starting to think I was only ever a rebound girl. He dated his first love for 3 years, it was only a month after he met me. He said he loved me after two weeks and we were going out for a year. Things in a way seem soo clear. Was I only ever rebound girl? And now that he doesn't need me to fill his empty gap I feel he just dumped me. Am I looking at this in the wrong way or is there an element of truth in it? Surely it couldn't of taken him a month to get over his first love. Link to post Share on other sites
mcdo Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 OK I admit that does sound rushed, in a rebound sort of way. But he stuck around for a year? That doesn't sound like your average rebound to me. What started off as a rebound might have developed into real feelings. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
destroyed4sho Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 I deal with it by telling my self that she is a f.ucked up person and I had nothing to gain from this relationship if it continued, so no reason to hear from her. Im NC for 3 months now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sedona Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 I think the fear is actually worse than the reality. You just live. Little pockets of peace keep you going, whether it be a friendly exchange with a stranger at the store, a hug from a friend or loved one, a night out with friends... these are the things that get your through until you realize you'll be okay without him. I received a 4-line email from my ex last night. If someone else had read it, they wouldn't have thought there was anything special in there, one way or another. But each sentence had something that made my upset, annoyed or angry. And really, I do not usually react to emails like that; I'm usually a fairly positive person. I'm struggling with exactly the same issue- struggling to accept him not being any part of my life in the future. So hard. But this idea of 'pockets of peace' is a lovely one. It's true - that does help! Even friendly interactions with strangers. Plus the ex made me so sad. I am mourning all my crushed dreams and hopes, not being with someone who was so ambivalent towards me. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ordinaryday Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 I do something which I am told is emotionally unhealthy. I tear up (or at least put in a box somewhere that I cant access easily) everything they ever gave me, destro every photo we ever had together and so on Try to pretend they never existed. I am told this is a bad approach as it is not facing up to reality, but whatever Link to post Share on other sites
mcdo Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 I do something which I am told is emotionally unhealthy. I tear up (or at least put in a box somewhere that I cant access easily) everything they ever gave me, destro every photo we ever had together and so on Try to pretend they never existed. I am told this is a bad approach as it is not facing up to reality, but whatever I'm not sure about that. I boxed everything up and got rid of it. I haven't had those constant reminders around me for about 4 months now. I believe it helped massively. Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Yes, I think it is a bad idea. Many regret it at some point. I believe it best to box everything up and put it in a safe place from your view and reach; give it to a friend if you must. In good time it will be best to decide what to do with everything. Trust us when we tell you those things will mean nothing to you one day for the most part, except a chapter in your life. You'll probably look back at an old photo and laugh, "what was I thinking" about him/her at the time. I do something which I am told is emotionally unhealthy. I tear up (or at least put in a box somewhere that I cant access easily) everything they ever gave me, destro every photo we ever had together and so on Try to pretend they never existed. I am told this is a bad approach as it is not facing up to reality, but whatever 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starrdust Posted April 12, 2013 Author Share Posted April 12, 2013 OK I admit that does sound rushed, in a rebound sort of way. But he stuck around for a year? That doesn't sound like your average rebound to me. What started off as a rebound might have developed into real feelings. True point but maybe it developed into a clingy rebound were he was just use to having me in his life. Im not sure tbh. Link to post Share on other sites
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