Is the world trying to screw me over?!

[bac]

All you need to find the right girl who is into sex. The girls are horny and have sex with multiple men of any age. They might be OK to have sex with you too. I guess sex with young sluts might be total fun. But, if you are looking for sex with nice girls, it is not fun at all.

 

I assume that you have never had sex with nice young girls/or virgins. IMO the nice girls are kind of very bad objects for sex. I can explain why.

On the one hand, they look and behave very seductive and they have no idea about that. That is why they talk to you so friendly because they believe that they should be nice and friendly with everyone. They cannnot even imagine at the begining of the conversations that you might think of them in a sexual way. They look like they are full of sexual desire. They look as sexy and seductive as it takes. They look like they might want to have sex.

On the other hand, IRL, they are just opposite. It is much more fun to have sex with a dead fish than to f....k the amazing creatures. I am not kidding! It is as boring as it takes to have sex with them. They have no idea what sexual desire is. They feel nothing sexually. They can only do what a man tells them to do. They have no idea what is pleasant about sex physically and why men want to have sex so much.

In other words, she feels nothing sexually and she is going to feel nothing for the next 10 yrs of her life. That is why a nice girl rejects you because she is not interested in sex. She is interested in some other things which a man can give her.

[sweetkiwi]

^^^^creeeeeeeppy

 

SD dont listen to these guys who dont have success with women. You know who they are. The bitter ones. The lonely ones. Obviously you need to listen to those who HAVE dating success.

 

It's about your attitude. Plain and simple.

[BetheButterfly]

 

Above all, energy is real. Negative thoughts bring about negative energy. I know you don't like to hear that and think it's a line of sh*t but it's true.

 

Believing the universe is out to get you will only bring about negative situations.

 

Start thinking positive.

 

Awesome advice!!! I very much agree!

Somedude, your thread reminds me of Goty's "Somebody that I Used to Know" song due to "screw me over":

 

I that song and the artistry of the youtube.

 

I agree with the MrCastle and the others about the importance of positivity.

 

Don't give up! Focus on your positives and on getting to know women for who they are, which doesn't just mean their bodies and trying to get their phone number for a date and/or for sex.

[BetheButterfly]

Looks have counted for jack at times in my life I was walking around with a "poor me" attitude, you could be Brad Pitt, but if you have a negative perception of yourself and the world around you, women aren't going to want to have to nurse your ego to keep you on the up-and-up.

 

Great point!

 

You need to learn how to be positive on your own.

Yep. One way to learn that is by starting thinking positively.

 

Don't put so much emotional investment into one interaction, if one doesn't work out, you move on to the next. It's that simple. If you get hung up on one girl, one interaction, you're more likely to mess it up.

Agreed. When I was young, I was shy around guys, but the more I talked to with them, the more I enjoyed talking with them and the more I was confident with talking with them!

 

Now, I've had many guys that I "fell in love with" not be interested in me: one in particular who considered me like his little sister, much to my annoyance! However, I learned why it didn't "work out", because we were not "meant to be", and I am so glad about that because I love and prefer my husband over this guy I had "fallen in love with" and he didn't even know it and obviously didn't feel the same!

 

Don't worry about what people think of you, what you do, or how little/much you "mess up", It's not going to mean anything when it comes to getting a girl.Be comfortable and confident in your own skin. That doesn't mean you never make adjustments, or perfect a trait, it just means that you believe in yourself.

 

Go for it and do not look back, what do you have to lose?

Agreed. Life is a learning adventure!

[TheGuard13]

I don't think you should be encouraging his mindset. He's basically saying he will continue to be depressed until he gets a GF/some dates. That's plain f-cking stupid IMO. You cannot rely on people for your own happiness and self-esteem. I like people and even I know that. In fact, its precisely BECAUSE I generate my own happiness and self-worth that I have a high opinion of people.

 

This. So much this.

[BubblyBeth]

Notice how he likes only the posts that prop him up or "validate" his way of living. He's not here to hear any of us out who are challenging him to look deeply within.

 

SD, it's clear you are resistant to change.

 

Fine. Go ahead living as you are. We'll see you in 2016 complaining about the same lot in life, and we'll see everything else be the same, except the replies will then be "Dude, you're 35..."

 

It has been going that way since you signed up for LS, hasn't it?

 

At some point, you realize... some people just don't want to change. They just want to stay a victim.

[BubblyBeth]

the very people who defend and stick-up for him only serve to further entrench himself into his comfort zone when he really needs to be edging out of it.

 

Unfortunately, the more he posts the more clear it becomes he's only here to be validated. He only likes those posts that defend or assume he'll be OK in the long run. I think he uses this place to:

 

1. Vent

2. Distract himself from the real issues at hand

3. Seek validation through complete strangers

 

It's pretty clear he isn't and hasn't been listening to or applying any serious NORMAL proven-to-work (not all the time, but some of the times) advice.

 

He makes these threads every 2 or 3 months. There will be another one in the summer time. He is not interested in listening to posts that push him outside his tiny comfort zone.

 

Sigh. My girl friends have read some of his threads with me (we have taken an interest in how things turn out for him), and we shake our head at the amount of good tips he has turned down, and how he continues to progress his own self-denial.

[Yamaha]

What you need to do is stop looking, masturbating to porn.

 

Porn is a comfort zone to many men today. If they strike out they can go home, watch an attractive woman and get instant sexual gratification.

 

I'll bet if you stop the porn you will have an increased desire to get a real GF. All of the waiting, analyzing for the perfect time to ask someone out, questioning if she is attracted to you will be gone because you won't have your crutch, porn.

 

All the positive thoughts won't help if you don't make a move. See real woman as your goal and you'll be surprised how it forces you to deal with circumstances!

[somedude81]

Notice how he likes only the posts that prop him up or "validate" his way of living. He's not here to hear any of us out who are challenging him to look deeply within.

 

SD, it's clear you are resistant to change.

 

Fine. Go ahead living as you are. We'll see you in 2016 complaining about the same lot in life, and we'll see everything else be the same, except the replies will then be "Dude, you're 35..."

 

It has been going that way since you signed up for LS, hasn't it?

 

At some point, you realize... some people just don't want to change. They just want to stay a victim.

Hah, I knew it you are Meeks. You should try a little harder if you want to pretend to be a girl.

 

Dude that's pretty creepy thinking you have to post as a girl to get me to listen. Do you even have a girlfriend?

[BubblyBeth]

Hah, I knew it you are Meeks. You should try a little harder if you want to pretend to be a girl.

 

Dude that's pretty creepy thinking you have to post as a girl to get me to listen. Do you even have a girlfriend?

 

 

Um, I'm not my BF, lol.

[somedude81]

Um, I'm not my BF, lol.

Sure you aren't. And I'm Joakim Mogren who is most definitely not Hideo Kojima in a wig.

Edited March 16, 2013 by somedude81

[BubblyBeth]

I am Meeks about as much as you having a girlfriend

 

i.e. answer as in, um, no

[Lonely Ronin]

i am meeks about as much as you having a girlfriend

 

I.e. Answer as in, um, no

 

lmao..............

[somedude81]

I am Meeks about as much as you having a girlfriend

 

i.e. answer as in, um, no

Then you must be his clone because your writing styles are exactly the same and you don't even talk like a girl.

 

A few members both male and female have questioned me about Meeks and Beth suspecting they were one in the same.

 

Either way, it matters not in the grand scheme of things.

 

I'm pretty much going to leave this thread alone till Tuesday and hopefully I'll have something to talk about.

[BubblyBeth]

I'm pretty much going to leave this thread alone till Tuesday and hopefully I'll have something to talk about.

 

 

Maybe you should join some clubs on campus. That's a good way to meet people, in general. Along the way, you might meet a few nice girls as well.

 

If all you're doing is going to school, going to your class, and then going straight back home to do whatever it is you do at home, then you'll never meet anyone and no one is ever going to get to know you.

[ThaWholigan]

Maybe you should join some clubs on campus. That's a good way to meet people, in general. Along the way, you might meet a few nice girls as well.

 

If all you're doing is going to school, going to your class, and then going straight back home to do whatever it is you do at home, then you'll never meet anyone and no one is ever going to get to know you.

I suggested that to him eons ago .

 

He could even use meetup or something like that - just finding something else to do, a new hobby or whatever.

[BubblyBeth]

I suggested that to him eons ago .

 

He could even use meetup or something like that - just finding something else to do, a new hobby or whatever.

 

Did he ever follow through, though?

[ThaWholigan]

Did he ever follow through, though?

No, he thought it was a distraction from his ultimate goal of getting a GF . Dude needs hobbies and something to do. And when he cultivates them, he can find himself in a situation where he is surrounded by people who do the same sh*t, including (shock horror) women!

 

For all the talk we give him about getting his life sorted, even beyond that, he never puts himself in a proper position to even be dated in the first place. I think it's chicken and egg stuff though - he has to sort out the former before he tackles the latter.

 

It's why I keep asking Somedude what he wants to do, what he thinks he wants to do, what he wants to be able to do and where he actually wants to go with his life, what goals and aspirations does he have, what creative activity appeals to him etc etc. And what frustrates me SO much is that he never answers and all he ever says is along the lines of "I don't care about that, I just want a GF". You can't live for a GF, no man can. Not unless she's your wife, bears your children and has undying loyalty to you - and even as an optimistic man, it is not common . So Somedude has to stop relying on this notion, he needs to KILL this notion because it's not going to get him anywhere, no matter what he says or how many times he clings to this belief in the fear that we are actually challenging it.

 

He has to get it, otherwise you are right - he will be here a couple years from now saying the same sh*t and even more depressed. The time to listen is now, it's never too late for him to sort it out.

[BubblyBeth]

No, he thought it was a distraction from his ultimate goal of getting a GF . Dude needs hobbies and something to do. And when he cultivates them, he can find himself in a situation where he is surrounded by people who do the same sh*t, including (shock horror) women!

 

For all the talk we give him about getting his life sorted, even beyond that, he never puts himself in a proper position to even be dated in the first place. I think it's chicken and egg stuff though - he has to sort out the former before he tackles the latter.

 

It's why I keep asking Somedude what he wants to do, what he thinks he wants to do, what he wants to be able to do and where he actually wants to go with his life, what goals and aspirations does he have, what creative activity appeals to him etc etc. And what frustrates me SO much is that he never answers and all he ever says is along the lines of "I don't care about that, I just want a GF". You can't live for a GF, no man can. Not unless she's your wife, bears your children and has undying loyalty to you - and even as an optimistic man, it is not common . So Somedude has to stop relying on this notion, he needs to KILL this notion because it's not going to get him anywhere, no matter what he says or how many times he clings to this belief in the fear that we are actually challenging it.

 

He has to get it, otherwise you are right - he will be here a couple years from now saying the same sh*t and even more depressed. The time to listen is now, it's never too late for him to sort it out.

 

 

Any thoughts on this, SD?

[somedude81]

Well, I have news to report, though unfortunately it isn't anything good.

 

I sat through the math lab, thankfully it was only a short session. When the lecture ended I got out of my seat and sat next to the girl I like. We casually chatted off and on for a half hour or so. I also made sure to let her and her friends know I probably won't be coming to the next class session depending on how I did on the test, basically telling them that I'm going to drop the class.

 

When it came time go to our next classes the girls were walking and I asked the one I like if I could talk to her for a minute. Right away she seemed nervous and maybe shy. I told her that I liked talking to her and asked for her phone number, then she said that she doesn't immediately give out her number or something and that I could talk to her in class, I told her again that I'm dropping the class and that I won't see her again. She then said something about possibly seeing me in salsa (which is never going to happen) then her friend called her over before I could finish talking to her.

 

I knew from the first day I saw her that she was a shy girl since she sat in the very back row, not next to anybody. I figure I've built up some comfort with her, sitting next to her almost every week but maybe it wasn't enough?

 

Later on I'm going to friend her on Facebook and try to see if she'll have lunch with me on campus. If she's unwilling to do something as casual as that, then I'll forget about her.

 

I didn't talk at all to the girl in my salsa class as I just wasn't up to getting rejected again. I'll wait to Thursday for that.

 

Sucks to be me.

[sweetkiwi]

Yeah I am sorry but this is a lost cause. She won't accept the lunch date though she may accept your friendship request just to be nice.

 

It does suck. What are you going to do different next time???

[ThaWholigan]

Safe option is not working. Sounds like your conversations with women are amiable and neutral - that's how you talk your way into friendzones. I suggest you spice it up a little bit - I don't mean sexual either, I just mean with a little bit of tension, a bit of back-and-forth teasing, bit of banter.

 

You have to be a bit brave man. It won't always pay off, but as they say "no risk, no reward".

 

And again I emphasize - please don't take it all so seriously. I urge you to try and move on from these rejections instead of personalizing them, even if it's difficult to do.

[Lonely Ronin]

based on her response, she isn't interested in dating you, and was hoping you would get the hint so she doesn't have to shoot you down directly.

Edited March 19, 2013 by Lonely Ronin

[somedude81]

Yeah I am sorry but this is a lost cause. She won't accept the lunch date though she may accept your friendship request just to be nice.

 

It does suck. What are you going to do different next time???

What am I going to do different next time?

 

Nothing.

 

I can't do anything differently.

 

Once a week I sit next to her in class for an hour or so. I finally got around to showing her my interest. She didn't mistakenly think that I just want to be friends with her so that was good.

 

I don't know what I could have done that was different.

 

Safe option is not working.

How did I go the safe option?

 

I asked her for her number, she knew what my intentions were and turned me down.

 

No I didn't make any references to having sex with her if that is what you consider non-safe.

 

Sounds like your conversations with women are amiable and neutral - that's how you talk your way into friendzones. I suggest you spice it up a little bit - I don't mean sexual either, I just mean with a little bit of tension, a bit of back-and-forth teasing, bit of banter.

We did most of our talking in class, how was I supposed to spice things up and generate tension?

 

I'm not as boring in my conversation with girls as you seem to think I am. I'm sure you've seen my sense of humor in some of my posts, when I'm around girls I do the jokes, teasing and show my humor more than I do here, but it never matters.

 

BTW, I don't have a clue what tension even is. I don't think I've ever had a sexual tension moment with a girl.

You have to be a bit brave man. It won't always pay off, but as they say "no risk, no reward".

I do be brave. That's why I did what I did today. I took the risk, even though I didn't expect a reward at all.

 

And again I emphasize - please don't take it all so seriously. I urge you to try and move on from these rejections instead of personalizing them, even if it's difficult to do.

That is so hard to do.

 

How is that even possible without numbing my emotions?

 

I just don't understand how to not take rejection personality when what's being rejected is my person. Basically I'm being told over and over again by women that I'm not good enough. Any sane person would be hurt by that. My whole entire life is nothing but being turned down by girls I was interested in.

Edited March 20, 2013 by somedude81

[ThaWholigan]

What am I going to do different next time?

 

Nothing.

 

I can't do anything differently.

 

FFS - you "can't do anything" is right . You only "can't" because you tell yourself you can't. Stop saying can't and ask yourself how you CAN.

 

 

How did I go the safe option?

 

You waited till today.

 

I asked her for the her number, she knew what my intentions were and turned me down.

 

After how long? At least you went through with it.

 

No I didn't make any references to having sex with her if that is what you consider non-safe.

 

I'm 100% sure you didn't

 

We did most of our talking in class, how was I supposed to spice things up and generate tension?

 

Why didn't you talk to her outside of class? Is class the only way you ever meet girls these days? When you see her outside of class, what do you do? How do you engage them whenever you do talk to them?

 

I'm not asking these questions to be mean, it will serve me well when trying to advise you, and eventually serve you well.

 

I'm not as boring in my conversation with girls as you seem to think I am. I'm sure you've seen my sense of humor in some of my posts, when I'm around girls I do the jokes, teasing and show my humor more than I do here, but it never matters.

 

I'm sure you're not boring to talk to, but that isn't really a particularly mean feat, especially in college (trust me, I know). I wonder how far you do push the boundary - that would be an interesting view.

 

I want you to go back through my links and download a program called "Alpha Man Conversation and Persuasion" and I actually want you to f*cking listen to it - don't pay me lip service . If you want to know how to bridge your conversations into something that can make women want to talk to you more and be interested in you, then get it. You need to get the resources and listen more instead of stumbling about not knowing what you're doing.

 

I do be brave. That's why I did what I did today. I took the risk, even though I didn't expect a reward at all.

 

Again, after how long? You have to be brave earlier. That's good that you weren't "expecting a reward", but that doesn't mean you should "expect failure" either. It doesn't have to be an either or situation. Again, that only arises because you TAKE THIS STUFF TOO SERIOUSLY!.

 

That is so hard to do.

 

Yes it is hard.

. Everybody gets rejected. Yes women do too, and so do even the "hot" guys. Show me a "hot" guy, and I'll show you a girl who rejected him.

 

How is that even possible without numbing my emotions?

 

It's possible if you stop being a slave to your emotions. Learn how to have greater control over your emotional response and how it affects you. This is stuff they should be showing you in therapy. You also need to find SOMETHING ELSE to do besides agonizing over girls, something else to invest emotional energy into.

 

I just don't understand how to not take rejection personality when what's being rejected is my person. Basically I'm being told over and over again by women that I'm not good enough. Any sane person would be hurt by that. My whole entire life is nothing but being turned down by girls I was interested in.

 

You've been told over and over by approximately 25 women out of probably millions in your state alone. Step out of the small box that is your current reality and look out into the world. You take rejection personally mainly because you believe yourself that you aren't good enough. You project that onto women and they oblige to tell you subconsciously that you aren't good enough. That's not your fault really - you just don't know any better it seems. Much like I didn't. EDIT: Also, you need to have things to do outside of college where you might actually meet some more girls.

 

And also, this will sound mean, but any truly sane person would get over being rejected and find something more important to be worried about. The only reason your entire life is nothing but being turned down by girls you're interested in is because outside of going to college and going home - what else do you do?

 

What is your life? And what do you want your life to be?

 

I'm gonna ask you again, and this is really important because you have to answer this honestly and please elaborate:

 

What the f*ck do you actually want in life besides a GF?

Edited March 20, 2013 by ThaWholigan
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