treezy Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 I don't know but I still miss my ex so much. For those who don't know my story, I ended my one year relationship with my ex because he had been acting very cold and distant for awhile. I asked him if anything was wrong and he said nothing so I thought with time he'd change but he never did. I couldn't put up with it anymore so I ended it. Two weeks later I broke NC and called him up to check if he's okay with my decision and I felt bad for being too final. Turns out he said some cruel things like the relationship didn't mean a thing to him at all and that it's over his feelings changed and I should not call anymore. I was crushed. It's 3 weeks post breakup and one week NC for me now. I tried to do my own things, keeping myself busy, but it's not working and I still miss him so much. I know that he's not worth it but I can't help it, I keep thinking of him and all the times we had and it makes me really sad to think that they don't mean a thing to him at all. It was a one year relationship. How could it have meant nothing to him? I know I should hate him for saying those things to me but I still miss him. I feel so terrible and I don't think I can survive this. Why do I still love him and when will I get over this? Sorry for venting, I'm just really in despair. Thanks for reading too. 1
Sososad Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 He's angry and hurt and lashing out . I remember with a ex once she told me She regretted every second with me and if had it back would never seen me. This particular ex did come back and we tried again .. Didn't work tho .. Don't take his words to literal he's hurt and maybe really trying to hurt u back . Breakup are filled with crazy actions. Stop chasing now you've told him u were wrong and u want Another chance Ball is in his court so stay busy and who knows he may /may not come back ... If it meant nothing he would never have spent a year with you. Use your logical thinking !! 1
Author treezy Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 Thanks sad, but I think he meant the things he said. It all sounded so real, he didn't even seem sorry. Don't think he's coming back this time, he's having so much fun without me anyway. To think I meant nothing at all. I'm such a fool and a clown. 1
unluckyperson Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Hey, don't say yourself like that, if you think your relationship is worst, what about me ? Me and my ex broke up 1 weeks ago and we have been together for 2years plus, she broke up with me, and she didn't even feel bad or miss me at all, she looked just so happy and fine without me in her life anymore. I still miss her hoping she would come back to me one day, but that would never happen unless I die or maybe in my dreams, I just don't know why the world is just so unfair. But you're be happy and get over it soon.
Author treezy Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 I'm sorry to know that you're going through the same thing as me. It is something that no one deserves to go through, especially not someone who has put in all their heart into the relationship. I don't think I can get over this. It's going one month and I'm still so hurt. In fact, it seems to be getting more difficult everyday. Really cannot cope.
kam93 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I've been going through something similar. I put my heart into a relationship and he gave up so easily. You're going to have days where you miss him like crazy. I've been broken up with my ex for about 3 months technically and I still have days I don't wanna getout of bed, but just remember why you broke up. Everytime you miss him remind yourself of the bad times and look in the mirror and tell yourself you deserve more. It has gotten me through some really tough days, doing that. You can get through this, I promise !
Discarded2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I've been going through something similar. I put my heart into a relationship and he gave up so easily. You're going to have days where you miss him like crazy. I've been broken up with my ex for about 3 months technically and I still have days I don't wanna getout of bed, but just remember why you broke up. Everytime you miss him remind yourself of the bad times and look in the mirror and tell yourself you deserve more. It has gotten me through some really tough days, doing that. You can get through this, I promise ! My problem is the abandonment and the 'used' feeling, hurts like hell
kam93 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 You'll feel abandon and used for awhile sadly...it'll start out as feeling abandoned, then it'll be feelings of guilt for letting go of that person when you gave them so much, then finally one day you'll wake up and you'll see exactly why it was good you let them go...yeah you'll still have those hard days. I still have them, but they won't be near as painful. You'll get through this
brokenhearted91 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I know exactly how you feel. Me and my ex were together 3 years and I thought the relationship meant just as much to him as it did to me (sometimes I thought it meant more to him) and then when he ended it, sorta out of the blue, and he's going out with friends, texting other girls and generally seeming like he couldn't care less that I'm not in his life anymore - I'm not gonna lie, it hurts like absolute hell. I wish all of this could make me hate him and make it easier, but it doesn't - it just makes me feel so lost and rejected and missing him even more.
Sososad Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Guys I'm not been dismissive or defending These guys actions but it doesn't really matter if they say it meant nothing . Look you were there at the time you know what u felt u seen it in there eyes and actions in real time . Now 2/3 months later its easy to say it meant nothing .. If that's true more Fool them sticking around for nothing ! I don't buy it .. And lastly .. We all assume that are exs are having a blast cause there on fb or out clubbing ... Unfortunately when we break up we loose the right to see what goes on behind closed doors at night.. Do they feel lonely to they cry in to there pillow ... Who knows .. People are so concerned with hiding feelings and putting up a strong front I guess we never know for sure .. Don't dwell to much on the past .. Or there cold words .. You were there at the time and u know how it felt . All that matters ....
Author treezy Posted February 28, 2013 Author Posted February 28, 2013 Thanks guys for all your kind response. To kam, yes I feel really used and abandoned. Also, I feel cheated and degraded. I gave this man everything, turns out it all meant nothing. He called me an old friend, not even a girlfriend, and that's all I am to him. To discarded and brokenhearted, I'm sorry you guys are going through this too. I know exactly how terrible it feels, but please always stay strong. To sad, thank you for sharing your perspective with us. I like how you say it was more foolish of my ex to stay around for a year if it meant nothing at all. Maybe he said it in the heat of the moment, but judging from how he hasn't reached out, I think he really meant it. It will be two weeks NC this saturday, and one month post breakup. Congratulations to me I guess. Maybe I'll buy a cake.
Coping Vortex Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Thanks guys for all your kind response. To kam, yes I feel really used and abandoned. Also, I feel cheated and degraded. I gave this man everything, turns out it all meant nothing. He called me an old friend, not even a girlfriend, and that's all I am to him. To discarded and brokenhearted, I'm sorry you guys are going through this too. I know exactly how terrible it feels, but please always stay strong. To sad, thank you for sharing your perspective with us. I like how you say it was more foolish of my ex to stay around for a year if it meant nothing at all. Maybe he said it in the heat of the moment, but judging from how he hasn't reached out, I think he really meant it. It will be two weeks NC this saturday, and one month post breakup. Congratulations to me I guess. Maybe I'll buy a cake. But didn't you BU with him?
Author treezy Posted February 28, 2013 Author Posted February 28, 2013 Yes but he asked me to dump him that day we had the talk. Said, I think you should dump me.
Coping Vortex Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Yes but he asked me to dump him that day we had the talk. Said, I think you should dump me. So go and try to talk with him. Sounds like pride and anger are in the way. They are two things that can kill any relationship prematurely. Communication is the key. Only use NC to move on after there is no hope. So many times relationships end because of things not said or communicated. I know for me I should had a talk long before I let my BU get too far. We would have been together today. My ex admitted that too. Communication. Let go of pride and anger. 1
Author treezy Posted February 28, 2013 Author Posted February 28, 2013 I did talk with him. I agree it could be pride. But I've swallowed mine and broke NC to call him two weeks after the breakup to check on his feelings and he said it's over, no intentions to try again. Along with more insulting stuff like the "old friend" and our one year relationship "doesn't mean a thing at all", his "feelings changed", he's "checked out of the relationship long ago" and that my "feelings are too raw" and I "shouldn't call anymore". Note that I was crying, and he could laugh. Perhaps you'd like to read more at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/372512-new-miss-my-ex (breakup story) and http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/374230-cruel-ex-boyfriend (broke NC story). Thanks for reading my story and offering your advice, Coping Vortex.
fixing Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Stay strong honey. **** that *******. He said some pretty horrible things to you. But, some of it wouldn't be realistic or true. Just keep posting here though. Keep up no contact
Coping Vortex Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 I did talk with him. I agree it could be pride. But I've swallowed mine and broke NC to call him two weeks after the breakup to check on his feelings and he said it's over, no intentions to try again. Along with more insulting stuff like the "old friend" and our one year relationship "doesn't mean a thing at all", his "feelings changed", he's "checked out of the relationship long ago" and that my "feelings are too raw" and I "shouldn't call anymore". Note that I was crying, and he could laugh. Perhaps you'd like to read more at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/372512-new-miss-my-ex (breakup story) and http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/374230-cruel-ex-boyfriend (broke NC story). Thanks for reading my story and offering your advice, Coping Vortex. All I can say is hang in there too. My ex told me she did not want to continue our relationship and she was already with someone else. A month later she was telling me she was still really In love with me after all. She is still with the new guy but it does tell me she is thinking of me and her resolve changed a bit. So you may find after time you may hear from him when he realizes what you really meant to him. If he knows you are waiting in the wings and he can have you back anytime he will take his good old time. try to move forward. Meet new men. If and when he finds out about you moving on this might change his whole attitude on how he thinks of the relationship.
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