treezy Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I decided to break NC and call my ex boyfriend because I felt bad for being too final that day when I ended things. I wanted to tell him my doors will be opened for him too if he intends to try again. Turns out he didn't care. He said my call was like one from an old friend to catch up. Old friend? I was crushed. I asked if he was happy with this arrangement. He said yes. I asked him how it could be so easy for him to let go like that and he said, 'maybe you're right and I've already checked out of the relationship long ago'. I broke down and cried. He said he was sorry. I asked him if he meant it when he said he thought the relationship was worth a try, turns out he doesn't even remember saying that. I asked if it was over and he said yes. I said it sounds as though he's done this so many times with so many girls that he doesn't feel anything at all and he laughed. I cried and said stuff like I was wrong about him, I thought he were different but he turned out to be the same. He didn't respond and kept saying he had to go. I asked if our one year together didn't mean anything to him and he said, 'yep it doesn't mean anything at all'. He said his feelings changed and kept insisting that he had to go. He said he thought I wanted to catch up and that would be nice, but turns out I'm only wanting to get to terms with it. I asked if I could call him again and he said no and it's best we remained NC. I slammed the phone. I know I was immature, but he hurt me so bad with all the things he said. This was the man I gave everything to. This was the man who said he could see us getting married and having children together. Turns out it didn't mean anything to him at all. I'm glad I broke NC anyway, because now I know I did everything I could to salvage the relationship. I have no regrets. The only regret I have right now was to have met him. I know some of you on here might say that it's my fault for bringing up the relationship when I called him, but I don't care anymore. I have no more intentions to forge more memories with someone to whom they will never mean a thing to. I hope not all men are like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Loveshax Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Hey girl, I feel your pain. I'm sorry you've been treated that way, but from what you said I have a strong feeling that he's still not over it. One year meant nothing to him? That seems just plain mean. I think maybe there's a chance he's hurting too. Anyway, I think you need to continue giving each other space. Maybe in the future you can revisit the chance of getting back together. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Anyway, I think you need to continue giving each other space. Maybe in the future you can revisit the chance of getting back together. Please do not think of revisiting this relationship in the future. He sounded extremely cold and as if he had no empathy for what you were feeling. I wouldn't waste one more second on this person. I hope not all guys are like this either... because my ex did a very similar thing to me as well. Told me to "have a nice life" and to "lose his number" and that I should go ahead and sell all the jewelry he bought me because he didn't want to give me the impression he was coming back. (This was after not talking for over a month). He was such a complete a.sshole to me, and we dated for almost three years. It was as if I was just something to occupy his time with. I hope one day I meed someone who's actions match their words. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
destroyed4sho Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I dont agree with Loveshax...you have to take what he said at true face value. At least he was honest with you and had no intention of letting u down easy with empty "i still.love yous", or give u breadcrumbs to hang on too. It was probably difficult for him so he left emotions out of it. It was difficult bc its difficult.to do this to someone in general..not because he still has feelings for you. Yes he was cold and cruel but.maybe you will find it easier to get over knowing he feels.nothing for you. I know it sucks and i know if i pick up the phone right now and i ask the same questions to my ex i will get the same response as above. Yes i totally hate her for it...and always will bc i dont get how you can love someone so much one day and then the next break up with them. Maybe the met someone else and this is the best way they feel to break away fromus. Link to post Share on other sites
Author treezy Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 Thanks all for your response. I have no intentions to get back together with him anymore. In fact, I don't want anything to do with him anymore. I'm not even going to call him my ex boyfriend anymore because to him, I'm just an old friend. Not even a girlfriend. So why should I label him as a boyfriend? He's not fit to be my boyfriend. He's not even fit to be human. I feel disgusted with myself for being associated with someone like him for one year. I will take this as a lesson learnt, and I know I will be stronger for my next relationship. I'm really glad I called him. At least it gave me all the answers and closure I needed to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
robaday Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I dont want to be harsh here, but from what you've written you broke up with him.....and seem surprised he didn't take you up on the offer of your doors being open for him. You broke up with him and he told you he thought it was worth another shot- he put himself out there and got it rammed down his throat, its one horrible horrible feeling ive been there before. He probably feels he did everything he could to salvage it and you rejected him, not once (when you broke up with him) but twice when he told you he thought it was worth another shot. I dont blame him from what youve written. Although of course I dont know the full story. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author treezy Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 I initiated the breakup but he dumped me. He agreed to that too. He agreed that he checked out long ago and his feelings changed long ago too. I would never have broken up with him if it didn't seem like he wasn't interested anymore. It could partly be my fault too. I don't know about that. Maybe I did something to annoy him that he started to feel different. I did ask him before though, he said nothing. I don't know. I don't even care anymore. I've apologised, pleaded, begged, cried, and he remained cold. I don't think there's anything I can do anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
daylight Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 How long were you guys together? And how long has it been since you've been broken up? Link to post Share on other sites
Author treezy Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 One year together. Two weeks since we officially broke up. But a few months he showed signs of checking out. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 For a dumpee he doesn't sound very upset at all. Sounds like you were forced to dump him? Was he always like this? I've dated guys equally as cold and no empathy as this. It sounds best to move on. A dumpee should be devasted. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 It's usually the dumpee begging and pleading. Link to post Share on other sites
Author treezy Posted February 18, 2013 Author Share Posted February 18, 2013 Yes I believe I was forced to dump him. He was acting cold and distant, and was annoying me sometimes purposefully. I couldn't put up with it no more so I told him maybe we should stop seeing each other. He did ask for a timeout but I rejected. I asked him about it that day when I called and he's forgotten he even said that. He said he has no intentions to try again and that it'd end up the same way. I don't get how a person can change so much in a matter of two weeks. The sweet and sensitive guy I once knew became a monster so suddenly. I don't think I know him anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author treezy Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 Thanks fish, but I'm starting to think that it could partly be my fault too for shooting him down that day maybe he's still mad at me. Anyway, I'm just leaving it alone for now. No use overanalysing and all. Link to post Share on other sites
Seeking Happiness Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 It looks to me as if this guy wanted to hurt you. He sounds very immature and he has no Integrity whatsoever. I wouldn't believe him for one second. He's only human and I'm sure he was hurt by this break up. That would be reason enough for him to take it upon himself to be so mean. That is his way of dealing with things. It isn't your fault. You were reaching out to him and that gave him a sense of power. When you rejected him he felt the pain of rejection. He took this as an opportunity to hurt you the way you hurt him. Don't kid yourself every action gets a reaction, it's just logical. You were a bigger person than he was. Take pride in that and stay away from this man. When someone is that mean they are just Ugly in so many ways. Free Yourself! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author treezy Posted February 23, 2013 Author Share Posted February 23, 2013 Thanks Seeking Happiness. Maybe everyone's right and he isn't worth it, but part of me still keeps making excuses for him, like how it might really be my fault for initiating the breakup and all that. I don't know, I don't think he's hurting, he said he's happy and that we should continue NC. I'm really crushed. I don't believe in love anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts