Tomorrow's the big day! Here comes baby!

[amaysngrace]

So true. Why couldn't I have realized she is psycho before all of this happened?

 

Oh well. Gotta deal with it.

 

Are you naming the child Baby Face?

[The_Face]

On the way to the hospital. Wish us all luck.

[Balzac]

Best of outcomes. I'm betting on 2/19 birthday. Just after midnight.

[The_Face]

Heading out the door right after I write this... God, I'm so nervous. And nobody seems to be answering their phones to come down and meet me. My mom answered but she is tied up right now..

 

I will update as soon as I can.

[Balzac]

Sooooooo 8 hours come n gone.

[The_Face]

Everything went well. No c secton needed. Baby is doing great. Mother is in a lot of pain but happy. The baby is really cute. I think I got an hour of sleep spaced out over five hours. Still at the hospital now... soooo tired. Feeling a million different things. Scared to deal with the birth certificate. I want to sign it. but I won't. Now that its all happening I feel really bad about it though... I don't know. I need sleep.

[blindotter]

congratulations...

[Balzac]

Thanks for the update. I support no signature to assume paternity. This paternity question is on her for behavior, unbecoming. Be strong.

 

I'm sure you're filled with emotion, not the wise time to acquiesce.

[The_Face]

Thanks for the update. I support no signature to assume paternity. This paternity question is on her for behavior, unbecoming. Be strong.

 

I'm sure you're filled with emotion, not the wise time to acquiesce.

 

Ohh I know. I have to make sure I am his dad. I have to be strong. Thanks balzac and everyone else, too. I would write more but I am typing this on my phone and its difficult.

[pink_sugar]

How quickly are you able to get the test done?

[amaysngrace]

congratulations!! I'm glad you're all well.

[xxoo]

Happy to hear the baby is here, and mother and baby are healthy!

[Balzac]

I'm relieved for you that tensions didn't erupt during the delivery. Your anxiety was palpable but justified. Take things an hour at a time.

 

This next process does not have to be filled with drama.

[The_Face]

I'm relieved for you that tensions didn't erupt during the delivery. Your anxiety was palpable but justified. Take things an hour at a time.

 

This next process does not have to be filled with drama.

 

The next process will be filled with drama, I just know. The topic came up and she told me I shouldn't need a test now that I see he looks like me. And the fact that me and her did't use protection. It scares me that once the test happens all the good steps forward we made will go up in smoke.. I really wish she was okay with the test.

She didn't get mad, she just seemed sad and kind of annoyed.

 

And on that note, they can't do the test here. This makes everything harder. Doable, but harder.

 

My head and heart feel swollen. I am doing okay though. The baby has some similar features of mine, that's for sure. It sucks not signing the certificate and scheduling a test, it would be so easy had I never discovered my ex's behavior. Sometimes I wish I hadn't. Ignoarance is bliss right?

 

This was a sloppy response. Exhausted. I want a steak and eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. That would be great right now..

Edited February 19, 2013 by The_Face

[blindotter]

It seems like an emotionally difficult situation, I wish you all the best. Having a new baby is a life changing experience, especially if it's your first child. The pregnancy is real, but holding and seeing your child is really real, if that makes any sense. My heart goes out to you and I hope everything turns out for the best.

[whichwayisup]

"I'm sorry that we need a paternity test done. This is important and I want to know I am the father. Obviously there is a reason for this so I hope you respect this process. What if, in the future the baby is ill and we need to do a transplant etc, if I am NOT the father and something happens, it would be a tragedy. This is not only for me, but for safety purposes as well."

 

Or something along those lines. Fact is, neither of you are 100% sure if the baby is yours and her freaking out, causing ANY drama is very telling that she is scared of the possibility it isn't yours. The truth HAS to be known. She has to suck it up and let this happen for everybody's sake. Yours, the baby, hers, her family and YOUR family. Your parents will be grandparents, siblings will be aunts and uncles ... It isn't fair of her to hide the truth if she's scared of it not being yours. It is selfish of her. Make sure you get this test done asap, so what if she gets mad or freaks out. That's her problem she needs to get over it.

[The_Face]

I just got home. My ex is still at the hospital, but she should be out of there very shortly. She was filling out the paperwork/birth certificate, etc. and asked me what I was going to do. I was at a loss for words. Some of the same lines both came out of both of us, we didn't really get anywhere or make any sort of progress. But I didn't sign it. Instead I went out to the smoking section and broke down crying. Even now I feel sick to my stomach, sad, excited, hurt, fearful, and I already miss that baby I was holding in my arms not even an hour ago.

 

I gave him his first bath, his first swaddle (is that the right spelling? anyway) and when I looked into his dark little eyes looking up at mine, it filled me with the greatest joy I've ever felt. I never wanted to let him go.

 

I don't like seeing my ex upset, regardless of why it is, or even if it's coming out in anger, I don't feel great about it. It's hard, to put it simply. Whether she's right or wrong about me being the father, it's a fact now that she is a mother, and I'm happy for her. And proud. She looked so great taking care of the baby, and when I looked at her and the way she was looking down at him, that also filled me with joy. She is going to be a great mother, I can see that.

 

I don't know where I'm going with any of this. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone else about this right now, so I wanted to let it all out here. I know I shouldn't feel like a bad person or bad father that I didn't sign the birth certificate yet. But at times, I do. My mood seems to change in the blink of an eye. One minute I feel justified, the next I just feel horrible. I never envisioned having a child and not signing the birth certificate for any reason. And I know it's just a piece of paper, and what matters the most is the bond and love I share/ give to my son, but it still feels like so much more. Am I making any sense or just rambling like a buffoon? Probably a little bit of both. Obviously I'm still tired, malnourished, confused and everything else. For the moment being I am just hoping my ex is continuing to heal well and I hope she is emotionally happy and stable. I still care about her. This birth brought those feelings back up. Maybe not the same feelings about her I used to have, but I still ccare about her.

 

Rather than continue to fill this thread with each and every thought I'm having, I guess I'll give it a rest for now and try to get some sleep. That's next to impossible right now, even with how tired I am. But I'll give it a try. And I just hope the test will get initiated by whoever, soon. I want to get it over with. That birth certificate needs to be filled out by somebody. And the father needs to be there for his son. As it stands now, I still plan/ hope to go over to my ex's tomorrow and spend time with the baby. Things are still up in the air but I would rather be there for the baby and my ex than sit back and do nothing with myself.

 

Tomorrow I work at 4am, then I have Friday/ Saturday off. I hope to be there. I can't wait until the test is done and I can know... and I know I've said alot of this a million times before, like a broken record. With that being said, thanks to my loyal followers here on LS. I know I sound like a gushy emotional baby of a man right now, but you all are great. I know I'll never know any of you in real life, but I imagine if I did we would be good friends. You all show a great deal of understanding and compassion, and you're even funny at times, which always helps in life.

 

Alright, I'm done going on and on. Thanks everybody

[ana0pera]

I don't know where I'm going with any of this. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone else about this right now, so I wanted to let it all out here.

 

That's what we're here for, to be on your side and help you during this time. I can't imagine going through what you've been having to live these past few months, how much conflict and emotions you must have. You are strong and you are handling it gracefully. I am praying for you and that there is some conclusion to this soon. Get some rest, and don't over think it (easier said than done). It's out of your control right now and you've done everything right on your part. now it's time to wait and see and go from there.

[sb129]

You know what- whether you are the baby's biological father or not, you've made a fine start as his parent. Well done for being there in the face of such uncertainty.

 

WWIUs post before your last one was great- use that kind of wording when you tell her why its so important to you that you get a paternity test.

[The_Face]

My ex doesn't want me around the baby until the test has been done. I was under the impression she was okay with me coming over but now she says she feels wierd having me around him when I'm not sure if he's mine. She doesn't want me around him unless I'm 100% sure. There's not much I can do, so okay.

 

But aside from that, now she says she can't get the baby into the pediatrician unless he's on my insurance. I haven't added him yet because of the paternity issue, but she knows I plan to as soon as this mess is cleaned up. I don't get it, though. A few months ago she told me she had gotten pregnancy insurance, and that it would cover the bills for the birth and not to mention the baby's first year. So I'm confused.

 

Not to mention, I'm a little surprised the pediatrician didn't ask her for insurance info when she first picked the pediatrician she wanted. This is all ****ed.

 

And it's on me apparently to scout out a place or a way to get the DNA test done. With me not on the birth certificate, legally, I'm not the father yet. So what am I supposed to do?

 

I need help!

[Eclypse]

Can you ask the hospital she gave birth in on advice on how to proceed. I'm certain they would have encountered these sorts of situations before and would know what to do.

[The_Face]

I have a plan now. This **** is about to get real!

 

Stay tuned.

[blindotter]

My ex doesn't want me around the baby until the test has been done. I was under the impression she was okay with me coming over but now she says she feels wierd having me around him when I'm not sure if he's mine. She doesn't want me around him unless I'm 100% sure. There's not much I can do, so okay.

 

But aside from that, now she says she can't get the baby into the pediatrician unless he's on my insurance. I haven't added him yet because of the paternity issue, but she knows I plan to as soon as this mess is cleaned up. I don't get it, though. A few months ago she told me she had gotten pregnancy insurance, and that it would cover the bills for the birth and not to mention the baby's first year. So I'm confused.

 

Not to mention, I'm a little surprised the pediatrician didn't ask her for insurance info when she first picked the pediatrician she wanted. This is all ****ed.

 

And it's on me apparently to scout out a place or a way to get the DNA test done. With me not on the birth certificate, legally, I'm not the father yet. So what am I supposed to do?

 

I need help!

 

IME the pediatrician asks for insurance info when you call to schedule the first appointment. You can google a local place to do a paternity test. Anyone can ask for one. However it would take a while to get results...and normally they want the newborn to see a ped. 3 days after birth to check weight gain.

[Balzac]

How about an update?

[The_Face]

Calling today to figure out the test. Might just get it court ordered. I don't like the way things have been going. She won't let me see the baby until we get results which is bull**** if you ask me.