TheBigQuestion Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Despite the fact that I'm not at all among the "struggling guys" who frequent LS, one thing about most of them is abundantly clear. Most of them have said time and time again that they absolutely do not require "hot" women. Most of them have repeatedly said that they would be more than happy with a girl with whom they are compatible and who falls somewhere within the very wide range of "average looking." Unfortunately, the fact that some of these guys may hold certain physical features in high esteem that represent their absolutely ideal women is often improperly used as evidence that they would only go after those women. Furthermore, many of the problems these guys face stem from the fact that they barely "go after" anyone. Finally, from what I've gathered, most of these guys (including somedude81) have repeatedly posted their pictures on here, and most people are dumbfounded as to why they've had next to no success based on their appearances alone. In other words, even though they aren't usually described as handsome, the consensus seems to be that they are average looking. Hell, some of them have even posted pictures of themselves with women they liked and the people who saw them confirmed that they don't exclusively want to bang Maxim cover models (somedude81 once again comes to mind). With all of the above being common knowledge to anyone who has been a regular here for a while and actually pays attention to what goes on, I really have to wonder: how in the fu** does anyone here still try to use the "they only go after girls way hotter/better than themselves" thesis as an explanation for their failures? How can you continue to further that as an explanation for their failures when it flies in the face of all the available facts? This isn't even necessarily limited to looks either. I sometimes hear people here make the argument that these men are losers in both love AND life and they are going after successful career women with great social circles and lots of hobbies. A lot of these struggling guys have successful careers, engage in various hobbies, and have embarked on massive self-improvement campaigns for years and don't have much of anything to show for it (JuneJulySeptember comes to mind). Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 A very common and misguided belief. "You are constantly getting rejected, therefore you must only be asking out women out of your league. Ask out girls in your league and you'll start getting dates." That's all well and good if most guys weren't already pursuing women that were similar in looks to them. I prefer girls that are cute, and I generally don't bother with the hot girls at all. I also have no issue dating women who are a bit below me in looks, as long as they aren't that much overweight. It's not a misguided belief, anyone with common sense knows most women date down when it comes to look. And it happens for a billion different reasons. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ls32ssibm Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 It's not a misguided belief, anyone with common sense knows most women date down when it comes to look. And it happens for a billion different reasons. Care to list the reasons? Not a cynical challenge, a curious question. I understand the whole "prettier by comparison" concept, like when girls bring a fat friend to the gym, but that's about it. Oh, and I suppose as an anti-cheating measure. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Hmm...I've always thought it. I'm a realistic person, and I know guys don't want to date down in looks. Lucky for me, most men ARE below me when it comes to attractiveness. There's a reason why you rarely see very attractive men with less attractive women. Yep iris. I have never dated a man more attractive than me. I am aware of it, but I don't mind since intelligence is my number 1 desirable trait. I always had people telling me that I could "do better" looks wise; so it's not all in my head. And I see many couples like this every day. I rarely see the opposite. Yet even those men were completely unaware of their own looks and flaws. My ex had a spare tyre around the middle, and even though ideally I would prefer it if it wasn't there, I never said anything. Yet he was obsessed with some porn star woman and complained over the fact that my body wasn't like hers I have already been over this millions of times. You just want to tell those men "Dude, look in the mirror!!!". My exs brother was 37 and never had a girlfriend. He reminds me a lot of men on LS. He is actually average looking, not bad at all and has a decent career. The problem with him is that he is completely unaware that he is average...so he chases hot 25 year old doctors and keeps getting rejected and then gets bitter. I have also observed number of cute women (actually better looking than him) show an interest. He was always picking flaws with them and never gave them a chance. If he was only willing to be realistic, he would be married with kids by now, something he always claimed he wanted Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Care to list the reasons? Not a cynical challenge, a curious question. I understand the whole "prettier by comparison" concept, like when girls bring a fat friend to the gym, but that's about it. Oh, and I suppose as an anti-cheating measure. I have one friend who drastically underrates herself. I would tell you she is a 7 or 7.5 and routinely dates 5 - 5.5, because that's what she thinks she is. I have another friend who is a 9, but is a grad student and gets out about once a month at most. she seems to date 6-7, as that's what are approaching her the most (other grad students). Some times it's lifestyle choices, social circles, location, job, the list goes on and on. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBigQuestion Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Yep iris. I have never dated a man more attractive than me. I am aware of it, but I don't mind since intelligence is my number 1 desirable trait. I always had people telling me that I could "do better" looks wise; so it's not all in my head. And I see many couples like this every day. I rarely see the opposite. Yet even those men were completely unaware of their own looks and flaws. My ex had a spare tyre around the middle, and even though ideally I would prefer it if it wasn't there, I never said anything. Yet he was obsessed with some porn star woman and complained over the fact that my body wasn't like hers I have already been over this millions of times. You just want to tell those men "Dude, look in the mirror!!!". My exs brother was 37 and never had a girlfriend. He reminds me a lot of men on LS. He is actually average looking, not bad at all and has a decent career. The problem with him is that he is completely unaware that he is average...so he chases hot 25 year old doctors and keeps getting rejected and then gets bitter. I have also observed number of cute women (actually better looking than him) show an interest. He was always picking flaws with them and never gave them a chance. If he was only willing to be realistic, he would be married with kids by now, something he always claimed he wanted That's an unfortunate story, but this guy is not representative of LoveShack's struggling men. These guys are not going after uber hotties or CEOS, as has been clearly stated by them time and time again. In a few cases, this point has even been corroborated by photographic evidence. I don't see the reason for clinging to a viewpoint that is so clearly contradicted by facts. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Hmm...I've always thought it. I'm a realistic person, and I know guys don't want to date down in looks. Lucky for me, most men ARE below me when it comes to attractiveness. You know, i think we need to post a what celebrity do you look like thread so we can sudo judge who is good looking. Link to post Share on other sites
Necris Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Honestly how are you supposed to know what your "league" is? I'm always rejected, and I have low standards, and the girls I'm getting rejected by, people would probably rate as 4s, 5s, or 6s. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 That's an unfortunate story, but this guy is not representative of LoveShack's struggling men. These guys are not going after uber hotties or CEOS, as has been clearly stated by them time and time again. In a few cases, this point has even been corroborated by photographic evidence. I don't see the reason for clinging to a viewpoint that is so clearly contradicted by facts. I agree but in general several guys are trying to punch above there weight in general terms. 1. some have super abrasive personalities 2. some have the social skills of a rock 3. some have ridiculous insecurities about being settled for 4. some have ridiculous insecurities about being used 5. some hate how dating works and refuse to chase at all 6. ...... All of them will dramatically kill any physical attraction a woman might have for you. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 You know, i think we need to post a what celebrity do you look like thread so we can sudo judge who is good looking. What if one doesn't look like any celebrity? Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Honestly how are you supposed to know what your "league" is? The easiest way is to ask women you know, that aren't related to you, that will be honest. Ask several and take an average. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 I agree but in general several guys are trying to punch above there weight in general terms. 1. some have super abrasive personalities 2. some have the social skills of a rock 3. some have ridiculous insecurities about being settled for 4. some have ridiculous insecurities about being used 5. some hate how dating works and refuse to chase at all 6. ...... All of them will dramatically kill any physical attraction a woman might have for you. Well, in that case there really isn't a "weight" at which a guy like you describe could actually punch at successfully. Perhaps they should date cats. Or sex robots.... Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 What if one doesn't look like any celebrity? lol everyone does, just some celebrities are more obscure than others. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Well, in that case there really isn't a "weight" at which a guy like you describe could actually punch at successfully. Perhaps they should date cats. Or sex robots.... God, I would hope no guy has all of those..... Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 God, I would hope no guy has all of those..... I didn't mean to say that he would have all of them. But even one or two could derail most budding relationships or any interactions with women. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 lol everyone does, just some celebrities are more obscure than others. I've only gotten one celebrity from people and I don't think I look like her that much at all, just our body types are kind of similar. Link to post Share on other sites
e40 Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 I agree but in general several guys are trying to punch above there weight in general terms. 1. some have super abrasive personalities 2. some have the social skills of a rock 3. some have ridiculous insecurities about being settled for 4. some have ridiculous insecurities about being used 5. some hate how dating works and refuse to chase at all 6. ...... All of them will dramatically kill any physical attraction a woman might have for you. Someone with even one of these traits drastically lowers his league. An average looking guy who has poor social skills isn't going to have much of a chance with an average looking woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 I didn't mean to say that he would have all of them. But even one or two could derail most budding relationships or any interactions with women. that's why so many many people tell the struggling guys to work on them selves. Most people who fail at dating fail because there own issues. I Know what mine are and I'm working on them. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 I've only gotten one celebrity from people and I don't think I look like her that much at all, just our body types are kind of similar. I have been told i look like a few, but the one I have been told I look like the most is really obscure unless your into international auto racing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 that's why so many many people tell the struggling guys to work on them selves. Most people who fail at dating fail because there own issues. I Know what mine are and I'm working on them. Kind of hard to do when all of your competition is already a finished and perfect product.... Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Kind of hard to do when all of your competition is already a finished and perfect product.... No one is a finished product, everyone has pluses and minuses. Something that's a plus to one woman, is another minus. The best thing to do is maximize the things about you that the type of woman you are attracted to most is attracted to. Link to post Share on other sites
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