Social Media - Big happy family

[promises]

Everything you say, ladygrey is true.

 

I'm angry at myself for galivanting around the world, choosing being traveled with my life before I choose family. Now disease has taken that life from me.

 

xMM is just a cushion on that train.

[jwi71]

Everything you say, ladygrey is true.

 

I'm angry at myself for galivanting around the world, choosing being traveled with my life before I choose family. Now disease has taken that life from me.

 

xMM is just a cushion on that train.

 

You sat on a tack not a cushion - FTFY

 

...and do NOT believe that you cannot have a family. The future is yet to be written.

 

(so stop reading yesterdays paper, turn your head, and look for what is in front of you)

[promises]

You sat on a tack not a cushion - FTFY

 

...and do NOT believe that you cannot have a family. The future is yet to be written.

 

(so stop reading yesterdays paper, turn your head, and look for what is in front of you)

 

 

I'll never have the dream. But, it's a loss many do not understand.

 

No where to go but forward.

[loredo21]

Promises,

I agree with PP about NOT looking at social media. But I think we can all agree that is one of the hardest habits to break. I stopped for a while, then looked again one time while drunkish and started over at square 1. I have been 100% good for one month and really have no desire to look anymore at all. All it was was a charade. Him and his H posting things about being one happy family and wanting another baby 3 months post dday? It was highly frustrating. But I know truth. That that are doing everything in their power to put on a happy face while probably dealing with the biggest pain of their lives. I never ever put happy sappy pics up of H and I during our separation. I guess some people are wired that way. I instead put pics of myself up. Happy. Alone. or with friends. I know I have a life beyond this affair and a life even if I didn't R with my H. I feel bad that they feel the need to parade it around, but hey to each their own. STOP LOOKING! you know you always regret it. i can only cause heartache, whether or not the other end of internet is true or not. It's their business and their M. As hard as it is to come to grips with that, when you finally do it is truly empowering! I wish you nothing but the best and lots of peace on your journey! Chin up!

[Decorative]

I'll never have the dream. But, it's a loss many do not understand.

 

No where to go but forward.

 

You can have children through adoption. Biology does not a parent make. It's the love, time and effort.

 

There are always different paths to walk.

[promises]

You can have children through adoption. Biology does not a parent make. It's the love, time and effort.

 

There are always different paths to walk.

 

If anyone understands that it is an infertile woman.

 

It's the loss of the experience in its entirety that is the grievance.

 

You don't realize the importance society places on this until you go through it.

 

It changes your identity.

 

It is a non measurable loss.

 

But I am alive. My point is he shouldn't have done what he did knowing my story.

 

You move on. I would like happiness.

[Decorative]

If anyone understands that it is an infertile woman.

 

It's the loss of the experience in its entirety that is the grievance.

 

You don't realize the importance society places on this until you go through it.

 

It changes your identity.

 

It is a non measurable loss.

 

But I am alive. My point is he shouldn't have done what he did knowing my story.

 

You move on. I would like happiness.

 

I have had things happen to me that have also changed my identity.

 

But I am glad you see the positive merit in walking forward and building and accomplishing new goals.

 

I know terrible things happened to you. terrible things have happened to lots of us.

 

it's what you do after the terrible things have happened that determine the course forward.

 

And yes- he was wrong to approach you when you were vulnerable, and you were wrong to accept his attempts.

 

But that's past. You have good days ahead of you. Try and focus on those- and turn that way. You have to find a way to let go of the mess with him. he's not worth ruining even one more of your todays. I know you understand this. You've had life threatening experiences. You know we're not guaranteed even one minute more on the planet. So don't spend precious time on him . Or his wife. let it go. Let it all go .

[Cali408]

Social media stinks. Promises, if it was 1990, you'd get over this affair much quicker, but with social media, common friends, etc. you'll always have that temptation or can't get away from it. My advice would be to quit all social media. You can't worry what he's doing.

 

I am an ex-cheater whose wife took me back and I'm lucky. I quit some of the sites. One site I need to stay on for career purposes. I too have fallen in the trap, too often of looking up my ap on social media or the internet. It's stupid, because it keeps you from getting over it the way you should. You end up playing this game checking each other out. I quit doing it, quit FB, quit looking at anything to do with the ap. Determined to move on and move forward.

 

I logically know the situation of throwing everything away will not be done. Any future of continuing the affair or taking it to the next step is hopeless. When you get to this point, and accept it, you get determined to forget about it.

 

But I'm such an egomaniac, I don't want my ex ap happy with anyone but me.

Anyway, upward and onward Promises. Don't let anyone judge you. Move forward everyday being the best you can be!

[promises]

Social media stinks. Promises, if it was 1990, you'd get over this affair much quicker, but with social media, common friends, etc. you'll always have that temptation or can't get away from it. My advice would be to quit all social media. You can't worry what he's doing.

 

I am an ex-cheater whose wife took me back and I'm lucky. I quit some of the sites. One site I need to stay on for career purposes. I too have fallen in the trap, too often of looking up my ap on social media or the internet. It's stupid, because it keeps you from getting over it the way you should. You end up playing this game checking each other out. I quit doing it, quit FB, quit looking at anything to do with the ap. Determined to move on and move forward.

 

I logically know the situation of throwing everything away will not be done. Any future of continuing the affair or taking it to the next step is hopeless. When you get to this point, and accept it, you get determined to forget about it.

 

But I'm such an egomaniac, I don't want my ex ap happy with anyone but me.

Anyway, upward and onward Promises. Don't let anyone judge you. Move forward everyday being the best you can be!

 

 

He's the same way. I know anything more at this point is hopeless and only damaging.

 

Thank you for your positive words and encouragement

[Feelin Frisky]

...I have zero faith in marriage or trust in men...

 

It not good smarts to trust "men". There's no reason for me to just give blanket trust to "women" either. Those are sexist perspectives. This is a world of individuals and trust is earned by individuals not by entire genders as if in secret unison.

[Spark1111]

It not good smarts to trust "men". There's no reason for me to just give blanket trust to "women" either. Those are sexist perspectives. This is a world of individuals and trust is earned by individuals not by entire genders as if in secret unison.

 

yep, judge all men and women by the consistency of their actions over time.

 

Also, look at how healthy their other relationships are, with mom, dad, siblings, friends....all of them.

 

If you are lucky, you will find someone with lots of health and happiness there....a good risk.

 

someone lying and deceiving their SO is a really, really poor partner.

[Got it]

It not good smarts to trust "men". There's no reason for me to just give blanket trust to "women" either. Those are sexist perspectives. This is a world of individuals and trust is earned by individuals not by entire genders as if in secret unison.

 

Yes but a pity to have no trust in the whole gender by the actions of one/few.

 

I agree that each gender is made up of individuals, individuals who choose good decisions or bad ones, individuals who will do things in your best interest or in others. Don't write off half of the population based on such a small sampling, you will limit your involvement with some amazing individuals of that gender.

 

Chin up promises, it does get better. It just takes awhile.

[Journee]

I'll never have the dream. But, it's a loss many do not understand.

 

No where to go but forward.

 

You will have much more than a dream Promises.

 

I wish I could PM you. This is a bit of a thread jack but I can't help myself.

 

I am adopted and I want you to know it is possible to have the most amazing love in the world for a child without biology. I promise that once you bring home a child that needs and loves you from day one, you will never look back. When they believe that you hung the moon and the stars just for them. When they crawl in your lap to hear "Green Eggs and Ham" for the 20Oth time. When they call for you on a stormy night. When they one day tell a complete stranger on an internet forum how you saved their life (Ok, that's specific to me telling you but you get me lol). You will never look back.

 

It is love in the truest sense. You will never look back with regret because you wouldn't want it any other way.

 

I know this is off topic and I hope I didn't over step any boundaries. I just know what a blessing adoption is for all parties involved. My father could not have children and when the time was right he and my mother rescued me. We are closer than many biological families. Promises, let me tell you, he never looked back.

[waterwoman]

You will have much more than a dream Promises.

 

I wish I could PM you. This is a bit of a thread jack but I can't help myself.

 

I am adopted and I want you to know it is possible to have the most amazing love in the world for a child without biology. I promise that once you bring home a child that needs and loves you from day one, you will never look back. When they believe that you hung the moon and the stars just for them. When they crawl in your lap to hear "Green Eggs and Ham" for the 20Oth time. When they call for you on a stormy night. When they one day tell a complete stranger on an internet forum how you saved their life (Ok, that's specific to me telling you but you get me lol). You will never look back.

 

It is love in the truest sense. You will never look back with regret because you wouldn't want it any other way.

 

I know this is off topic and I hope I didn't over step any boundaries. I just know what a blessing adoption is for all parties involved. My father could not have children and when the time was right he and my mother rescued me. We are closer than many biological families. Promises, let me tell you, he never looked back.

 

journess - I totally agree. I have a good friend who adopted a little boy at 2 years of age. A troubled child from a sad family. That child is loved and cared for so very much - and gives it all back 100 x.

[promises]

You will have much more than a dream Promises.

 

I wish I could PM you. This is a bit of a thread jack but I can't help myself.

 

I am adopted and I want you to know it is possible to have the most amazing love in the world for a child without biology. I promise that once you bring home a child that needs and loves you from day one, you will never look back. When they believe that you hung the moon and the stars just for them. When they crawl in your lap to hear "Green Eggs and Ham" for the 20Oth time. When they call for you on a stormy night. When they one day tell a complete stranger on an internet forum how you saved their life (Ok, that's specific to me telling you but you get me lol). You will never look back.

 

It is love in the truest sense. You will never look back with regret because you wouldn't want it any other way.

 

I know this is off topic and I hope I didn't over step any boundaries. I just know what a blessing adoption is for all parties involved. My father could not have children and when the time was right he and my mother rescued me. We are closer than many biological families. Promises, let me tell you, he never looked back.

 

Thanks for sharing a bit of your story, Journee. It was heartwarming for me to read.

 

I think adoption is love in the truest sense of the word as well. Thank you..